


The Notebook

by GreyInnocence



Category: Prince of Tennis
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 19:20:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 93,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyInnocence/pseuds/GreyInnocence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not a sappy romance story, we promise. The Seigaku Regulars spend a week in the mountains for "team bonding." Ridiculous amounts of crack and fluff and sex ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Quit!

**Author's Note:**

> _The Notebook - I quit!_

_The Notebook - I quit!_

A/N: Okay….So there is a huge story behind this….thing…..We went to Tennessee for Labor Day weekend and got a cabin and lots of stuff happened. That mini-vacation is what a lot of the funny things that happen in this are based off of, like the giggle box, the cabin, lots of other little things that we incorporated….But not the random orgies…..Those didn't happen….. Anyway, after that we got inspired to co-write this little (well, ginormously huge) fic. By the way, we promise after this the author's notes will cease to be so ridiculously long.

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis is copyright Konomi Takeshi-sensei. If it belonged to us, we guarantee that there would be a lot more boys kissing and a lot less tennis.

Note: The Regulars are in high school now, Seishun High School-so they all go to the same school, because we're deluded fangirls who are determined that they will be together forever. And Taka's not actually on the team, but he's still _part_ of the team, because once a regular always a regular. And they brought Ryuzaki-sensei along because they just love her that much. So there.

Set Pairings: Tezuka x Fuji, Oishi x Kikumaru, Inui x Kaidoh, Momoshiro x Echizen, minor Kawamura x Ann

Mentions of: Oshitari x Mukahi, Kamio x Ibu, Horio x Tomoka, there will be others added to this list as we go, but these are the ones mentioned in the beginning….

Warnings: YAOI, Lemons/citrus, cross dressing, random hinting of other couples (within the regulars), Random OCs, Japanese words used randomly

Chapter Warnings: Bugs, cross dressing, violence, mind raping (XD), PG-13 sexual stuff.

"Oishi! Look at the deer!" Eiji slammed himself against the window as they pulled up to the driveway, startling the animals. Ryuzaki-sensei rolled her eyes and got out of the car to unlock the gate impeding them. A horn honked behind them as the car containing the five remaining Regulars pulled up, and the Golden Pair turned to wave at them through the back window. Inui and Kaidoh waved back from the front seat as they continued their trek up the driveway.

"Nya! Oishi, this is scary!" Eiji sank into the seat and buried his head in his boyfriend's shoulder. The driveway was overgrown with weeds, and tree branches grew well into the path of the cars.

"Hm, it looks straight out of a horror movie." Fuji's smile widened. "Not to mention how deserted the town is."

"Fuji!" Oishi reprimanded the tensai, giving him a mild glare and wrapping an arm around his partner.

"We're here, everyone out!" Ryuzaki unlocked the doors and everyone was immediately out of the cramped cars and stretching. "Let's get everything inside and unpacked. Think of it as extra training!" Their coach entered the large cabin without any luggage.

"What! No fair! Ryuzaki-sensei should have to carry some too!" Momoshiro complained loudly as he hoisted his own bag out of the trunk.

"Shut up and grab the rackets, stupid monkey," Kaidoh grumbled.

Momo grabbed Kaidoh by his shirt collar. "You trying to start something, Mamushi?"

Ryoma sighed and grabbed his bag. "I still don't see why we're here."

"Team bonding, Echizen," Oishi replied.

"Couldn't we bond somewhere near tennis courts?"

"We can still play tennis," Oishi argued. "Maybe. If we can find courts."

"Mada mada dane…"

"Echizen has a point, Oishi," Fuji called from the door to the cabin. "Why the mountains?"

"It's more secluded. If we're trapped in a house with each other for a week, we're bound to get closer. You two," he added, looking at Momo and Kaidoh, "need the most improvement. I realize arguing is your way of showing affection-" Kaidoh and Momo opened their mouths to argue, but Oishi ignored them- "but it would be easier on everyone if you'd be civil to each other."

"Hyotei can't stalk us this far from Kantou, either," Eiji added, looking quite unbothered that he wouldn't be seeing a certain redhead in the near future.

Fuji chuckled. "You never know with Atobe."

"It doesn't matter, we're here to bond, not get away from Hyotei," Tezuka deadpanned as he walked past Fuji and towards the front door. He stopped dead just outside the doorway.

Fuji's smile widened again. "What's wrong, Tezuka?"

Tezuka turned and walked back to the car. "I forgot something."

Inui, his bag thrown over his shoulder, walked into the cabin, followed closely by his favorite research subject. He heard a crunch under his shoe and stopped, making Kaidoh run into him, and lifted his leg to examine the underside of his shoe. "Roach?"

"Aa." Fuji peered at the squished bug.

"I call biggest room!" Momo shouted,running past them.

Eiji bounced after him. "No fair, Momo!"

"They left their stuff here," Oishi sighed, grabbing Eiji's suitcase.

They all trekked into the house, somehow getting all their luggage inside at once-mostly because Echizen slipped Taka a racket.

Rooms were sorted out by Ryuzaki and Oishi while Inui, Fuji, and Tezuka were sent out for groceries. Taka, unfortunately for him, was put in charge of the three youngest teammates and Eiji, who would no doubt start some sort of commotion if left unsupervised, so he took this duty seriously.

Ryoma was bouncing a tennis ball on the rim of his racket and drinking a Ponta-nothing unusual there.

Momo and Kaidoh, though-well, they had spent the last half hour in a "my glare's meaner than yours!" contest. Eiji had latched himself onto his partner, which was thankfully keeping him away from the pair-no doubt he would only worsen the situation.

At the store, Inui was calculating away, everything from how much they'd need of what to the cost of it all. "Fuji, do you think I'll need to make any more juice?" he questioned the deceptive brunette, thinking back to the large container he'd brought with him.

"Mm… perhaps," Fuji said, tossing sushi ingredients into the shopping cart. "I could do with some. Tezuka," he added, glancing at the stoic captain, "would you mind grabbing some Ponta for Echizen in the next aisle?" He pointed to the left. "I wanted to look for some wasabi here…"

Tezuka nodded and headed down the aisle, not seeing the sadistic smile spreading across the tensai's face.

Moments later, there was a high-pitched, girlish shriek and Tezuka bolted back to them, looking more shaken than Inui and Fuji had ever seen him.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Fuji said pleasantly. "That's the _pet_ aisle. The juice aisle is _that_ one." He pointed to the right and turned to Inui. "Did you know they're selling pet tarantulas half-price today, Inui?"

Tezuka glared his meanest "you are running SO MANY LAPS when we get back" glare and stalked off to get Echizen's juice.

"That wasn't very nice, Fuji," Inui scolded, though he already had one of his many notebooks dedicated to Tezuka open to copy down this new data.

" _I'm_ not very nice, Inui," Fuji replied, smiling sweetly. "Ii data, no?"

"Ii data," Inui agreed, pushing the cart ahead and stopping to let Tezuka put the Ponta in the carrier beneath it.

They finished their shopping in record time, Tezuka resolutely avoiding the pet aisle.

Back at the cabin, their rooming arrangements had been settled. Ryuzaki had decided on a room to herself-no one really wanted to share with their coach. The remaining three rooms had taken longer to decide on. Tezuka and Fuji were automatically given a room to themselves, for unsaid reasons; Oishi had elected that he and Eiji share a room with Inui and Kaidoh. He did not want fighting between his boyfriend and Momoshiro, nor between the two rival second years. Taka-san had no problems with his arrangements with Momo and Ryoma either.

"Saa, Tezuka, we have a room to ourselves," Fuji said happily, sitting on the queen-size mattress and bouncing up and down lightly.

"No."

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"No to what you're thinking. Not when there are eight other people in this house, and not after that stunt you pulled today."

Fuji frowned. "Ne, Tezuka, that was all in good fun. It's not fair to hold it over my head. Are you embarrassed that you're scared of bugs?"

"No," Tezuka snapped. "I'm not scared of them."

"Are you sure? You seemed pretty rattled after I accidentally sent you down that aisle with the spiders."

"Accidentally," Tezuka scoffed.

"You wouldn't even go through the door this morning because of that cockroach, isn't that right?"

Tezuka blinked. "You…noticed that?"

Fuji patted his boyfriend's arm. "There's no reason to be ashamed, Tezuka. Lots of people are afraid of bugs. It'll be our little secret, okay?"

"Somehow I doubt that."

"So… who's sharing?"

Taka, Momo, and Ryoma stared uncomfortably at their bedroom. There were two full-size beds in the hotel room-sized space, along with a couch too small for any of them to sleep on and a big-screen television.

"Well," Momo said, uneasily, "since Taka-san's the oldest… I guess it only makes sense for him to have a bed to himself…"

"Ah, hai," Taka replied, grinning sheepishly. "Is that all right with you, Echizen?"

Ryoma shrugged, said "Whatever," and left the room.

"Either he's going to get a Ponta," Momo said, "or he's going to steal one of the cars and try to find a tennis court."

Taka blinked. "We should tell Ryuzaki-sensei to hide the keys."

"I'll go get him." Momo smiled and ran out after his kohai. "Echizen!" He caught up to the prodigy and picked him up in a bear hug.

"Momo-sempai!" Ryoma squawked.

"Had to make sure you weren't going to take the car keys." Momo set the smaller boy on his feet again.

"Momo-sempai…" Ryoma's hair shadowed his face.

"Hm?" Momo smirked down at the boy.

"You are a moron…" Echizen walked to the refrigerator and swiped a Ponta.

"E-chi-zen!" Momo shouted after his twitching fit stopped.

Things in the fourth room were rather calm- everything except Eiji. Fuji had gotten him a bag of candy. How he had slipped that into the cart without Inui noticing, Oishi wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Inui was scribbling away in his notebook, most likely the secrets of the team Fuji had divulged during shopping. Kaidoh was just laying on his and Inui's bed, his headphones in, looking disturbingly like Kamio. Eiji could not be seen, but they all knew exactly where he was.

In the corner of the room was a blue and pink box, shaped as a child's wooden block. Eiji had crammed himself into it and was looking through a small drilled hole in the 'B'; it was a bit creepy. Oishi had spent the last hour trying to make him come out.

Fuji came in at that moment, holding what looked like a diary of some sort, followed by Tezuka, who looked annoyed.

"Look what I found," Fuji said delightedly, holding up the book. "It's the memory book."

"Good reviews, I hope?" Oishi said as he locked the candy in his suitcase, knowing it wouldn't do much good-if Fuji wanted to torture everyone with a sugar-high Eiji, he _would_ get that candy.

"Mostly. A lot of people mentioned that there are bugs everywhere." He smirked at Tezuka. "Other than that, though, it seems everyone enjoyed their stay. There was one that was quite funny, though…" Fuji flipped through the book until he found the page he was looking for. "'We fought mutant turtles and mated with some of the forest people.'"

Everyone chuckled.

"They also said that that box Eiji's in giggles in the middle of the night."

There was a squeak, a lot of fumbling, and a thud as Eiji shot out of the box and onto Oishi, clinging to the vice captain and making a cross with his fingers at the box.

"Thanks, Fuji. I thought we'd never get him out of there," Oishi said gratefully, patting the top of Eiji's head.

"Oh, that really is written here," Fuji said, smiling. "It'll be interesting to see if it really giggles, ne?"

The look of abject terror on Eiji's face was priceless, and Fuji dearly wished he had his camera. Kaidoh was clearly scared as well, though it was less his visage and more the way he was gripping Inui's arm tightly enough to cut off the circulation.

Tezuka could _feel_ a scheme brewing. He'd known Fuji Syusuke for nearly six years and had been dating him for three of those six. That angelic smile didn't fool him for a second.

"Oishi, I don't want this room anymore," Eiji whined.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Eiji. That person was writing a lot of odd stuff, that box giggling is bound to be untrue."

Eiji looked unconvinced, but nodded.

"Boys," Ryuzaki-sensei said from the doorway, "we're going to make lunch in a bit. You might as well come down now."

Kaidoh and Eiji seemed only too happy to get out of the room. The eight of them took the staircase down to the living room and conjoined kitchen, where Momo had Ryoma practically in the open refrigerator as they kissed.

"If you're going to do that," Ryuzaki-sensei said nonchalantly, causing the boys to spring apart (well, Momo sprang away; Ryoma jerked backwards without thinking, hitting his head and causing a few shelves to fall), "close the door. Wouldn't want either of you catching a cold and having to sit out any matches."

Ryoma pulled his cap down over his eyes and took a drink of his Ponta, his face bright red.

"I win!" Fuji opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Inui. The data analyst turned and promptly walked upstairs, coming back with a hefty amount of yen. Fuji smiled at Ryoma and Momo as he took the money from Inui.

Tezuka and Oishi each pinched the bridge of their nose. Of course Fuji and Inui would keep running bets on them.

Eiji bounced over to where Fuji was setting water to boil. "Nya, Fujiko, can I be your assistant?"

Fuji smiled. "Sure, Eiji."

Fuji, surprisingly, was quite agood cook-the team had discovered this on the many occasions when they'd all slept at his house. Taka-san began making sushi rolls next to the pair; everyone could see Momo and Ryoma practically drooling.

Ryuzaki smiled and turned to Tezuka and Oishi. "Set the table, boys!"

"Would you like me to make-" Inui was cut off as Kaidoh's hand covered his mouth.

Fuji seemed to pull a pink apron from nowhere and tied it behind his back. As he busied himself with chopping vegetables, he looked for all the world like a housewife.

The others laughed, and even Ryoma grinned before tugging his cap down over his eyes, at the expression on Tezuka's face.

"It's to bad the two of you can't have children, Tezuka," Inui said, opening his notebook. "Fuji would make a good mother, don't you think?"

Tezuka's eye was twitching again. Bad sign.

"Of course, I might be able to come up with something… my juice has proved very useful before, ne, Kaidoh?"

Kaidoh turned beet red.

"Inui," Tezuka said, eyes closed and fists clenched.

"There is a one hundred percent chance you're going to give me laps, Tezuka."

"Fifty. Around the cabin. Now."

"Arigatou, Inui," Fuji said as Inui passed him on his way to the door. "We'll get working on that juice as soon as we get back to Tokyo, then?"

Inui nodded and his glasses flashed.

A chill ran up Kaidoh's spine; that glint could never end in something good. Ever.

Everything got quiet after Inui left. Only the cooking and clink of dishes broke the silence.

"Ne, Mamushi! What did Dataman mean about his poisons being useful?" Momo elbowed Kaidoh with a cheesy smile plastered onto his face.

"Urgh! Idiot-" Kaidoh shoved Momo away and started to rant when Fuji cut him off.

"Saa, leave Kaidoh alone, Momo." Fuji's eyes were just barely open, and he had a large cutting knife in his hand.

Oishi turned a bit green. "Fuji! Stop threatening your kohai!"

Fuji tilted his head innocently. "Threatening?"

Oishi shook his head. "Never mind…"

Eiji bounced over to Kaidoh. "Nya! What does he give you? Huh? What does it do, Kaidoh?" The acrobat rambled on, asking rather intimate questions, turning the second year more red with every one. "I mean, Oishi and I have really wanted to try some new things!"

"EIJI!"

The hyper redhead was promptly dragged up the stairs by a furious vice captain.

"What was that all about?" Inui stepped inside and over to his protégé. Kaidoh hissed and moved over to take Eiji's place next to Fuji.

"Kaidoh-kun, will you take this to the table?" Fuji handed him a plate.

The boy turned and walked past his two fellow kohai and Inui to set the dish on the table.

Momo was not happy about not being able to tease him, and he was feeling a bit vengeful. He reached into his pocket and quietly dropped a tennis ball in his peer's path.

The ball landed just as Kaidoh's foot was coming toward the ground, not giving him enough time to react. He fell flat on his face, the plate in his hands shattering as it hit the wood floor.

Inui hurried to help Kaidoh up, furiously plotting revenge in his mind.

Fuji frowned, his eyes opening dangerously. "There goes lunch. Well, I suppose we'll have to go out, then. Momo will pay, of course."

"Eh!"

"After he runs fifty laps around the cabin," Tezuka added.

Momo mumbled something unintelligible and walked out the door Inui had just come in through. He almost slammed it but thought better of it, knowing it would only get him more laps.

"We're doing something," Inui demanded, whispering to Fuji so the others wouldn't hear.

"Of course we are," Fuji replied, smiling again. "Actually, I have an idea…"

Tezuka knew that allowing Inui and Fuji to be around each other at all, especially given the current circumstances, was a very, _very_ bad idea. But, well, Momoshiro needed to be taught a lesson. Momo wouldn't get physically hurt, but that was too much to ask for.

"Fuji," he said.

"Yes, Tezuka?"

"Don't kill him. It would be troublesome."

"Oh, I don't want to kill him. He'll be in shape for the next tennis match, I promise."

Tezuka nodded. "Go get Oishi and Kikumaru. They'll need time to… compose themselves before we leave."

Fuji grinned. Even Tezuka wasn't completely oblivious to these things. "Hai, Buchou."

"You boys… I'm going to go find a city guide," Ryuzaki called as she headed towards her lower-level room.

"Boo." Fuji smiled as he puffed the word into Tezuka's ear, making him jump just the slightest bit.

"Syusuke…" Tezuka muttered mentally repeating, 'If I make him do laps he'll harm Momoshiro,' over and over again.

A snicker came from Echizen as he surveyed Kaidoh. "Kaidoh-sempai, you have a lump." He tapped his forehead to point out where.

Inui turned to his protégé towards him before leaning down and chastely kissing the red bump. Kaidoh, needless to say, instantly flushed.

"Fuji, did you get them?" Tezuka asked, stepping away from his boyfriend. 'Inui is right, he would make a good mother. He's so effeminate!' Tezuka could feel the heat rising in his cheeks at his thoughts.

"Mitsu-chan? Kunimitsu!" Fuji stood in front of him with his hands on his hips. "Were you even listening to me?"

Tezuka made no reply, just turned and walked into the bathroom. His hand tightly pinching his nose shut to halt the oncoming nosebleed.

Ryoma snickered and tossed his empty Ponta can in the garbage. "Buchou is a pervert," he said smugly. "I knew it."

Inui was copying this down already. "It's reasonable to assume that Tezuka has not engaged in sexual activity in at least-" he paused and wrote something. "Six days, based on his abnormally strong reaction to Fuji's close proximity."

"Do you really think I'd allow such a travesty?" Fuji said in mock horror. "I'm not one to kiss and tell-"

Ryoma snorted. The entire team had heard about it hours after the tensai had finally gotten together with Tezuka, purely for the sake of embarrassing the captain.

Fuji ignored Ryoma and continued, smiling wickedly, "Tezuka has every reason to be satisfied with his love life. I can't help that it's so good the mere sight of me is enough to-"

"FUJI!" Tezuka came out of the bathroom, dabbing his nose with a piece of toilet paper.

"Yes, love?" Fuji answered sweetly, unfazed by the tone of Tezuka's voice and the furious expression on his face.

'Forget Momoshiro,' Tezuka thought. "One hundred laps around the cabin."

"But Mitsu-chan-"

"Go!"

"I was _praising_ you, Mitsu-chan, it's nothing to be ashamed of-"

Tezuka grabbed Fuji by his shirt collar and dragged him to the door. "A hundred laps," he repeated. "And no sex for a month."

Fuji smirked. Like _that_ was going to happen.

"If you're not back in forty-five minutes," Tezuka said coldly, "I'll take your cacti. Time starts now."

The tensai's smug look changed to one of horror and he sprinted out the door.

"A month is harsh, don't you think, Tezuka?" Inui said calmly, scribbling in his notebook yet again. "There is a seventy-six percent chance you won't be able to hold out that long, and Fuji will hold it over your head."

Tezuka ignored this statement, trying in vain to control his reddening cheeks. "I'm going to get Kikumaru and Oishi."

"What did Fuji do now?" Ryuzaki asked, coming back into the room.

"Embarrassed Tezuka-buchou." Ryoma smirked as he pulled out another can of Ponta.

"Where is Tezuka?"

"Getting Kikumaru-sempai and Oishi-sempai," Kaidoh said, dumping some of the shards of glass into the trash can.

"Kaidoh…" Oishi's voice came from behind, "you're bleeding." The vice captain pointed at the back of Kaidoh's calf.

Inui and Oishi were quick to sweep the kohai into the bathroom for bandaging.

"Oishi, you're only allowed to play doctor with ME, though!" Eiji tugged on Oishi's sleeve.

Tezuka and Ryuzaki dragged him away. By the time the two had finished fusing over him Momo was back inside and Fuji was about halfway through his punishment.

As the tensai was running he began concocting a multitude of schemes to seduce Tezuka, and get back at Momo. His plans started with getting hot and sweaty just to bother his captain.

As Fuji rounded a corner and came to the front of the cabin, suddenly Inui stated jogging next to him. Fuji gave him a questioning look but didn't slow.

"The others want you to hurry with your laps. They're getting hungry."

"Tezuka let you out here, paranoid as he is about us conspiring together?"

"Ah, Tezuka was still upstairs getting Kikumaru and Oishi."

Fuji nodded. "Tezuka's very harsh on me today, don't you think?"

"He's been exceedingly frustrated. Twenty-five percent more than usual. Discussing your sex life would clearly only antagonize him further."

"It is _so_ entertaining, though…"

"But is it worth the sacrifice?"

Fuji's eyes opened and he smirked. "I think we both know that my 'punishment' isn't going to last."

Inui grinned, glasses flashing. "Yes, there is an eighty-six percent chance that your current plan will have the desired effect."

"It's that obvious?"

"A bit."

Fuji frowned. Was he slipping?

"There is still the matter of Momoshiro."

"Yes, that will be taken care of. However, I think it might be better to put that off for a while."

Inui raised an eyebrow, though Fuji couldn't see it behind the thick glasses. "Oh?"

The tensai smiled evilly. "Sometimes it's more fun to let them squirm for a while."

"Fuji!"

Fuji and Inui looked back to see Oishi in the doorway, looking rather disheveled. "Tezuka says you can continue your laps when we get back from lunch."

Eiji poked his head out the door, grinning. "He says-erm, what was it?-he says that your idiocy shouldn't penalize the rest of the team."

"How cruel of him," Fuji said, sighing mournfully as the four of them stepped inside the cabin. He took a water bottle from the fridge, opened it, and promptly spilled it all over himself.

"Oh, dear! My clean white shirt. I suppose I'll have to change."

Tezuka's eye twitched as Fuji pulled the shirt over his head. "Fuji… there isn't any need for you to do that there."

It was frightening how innocent Fuji could look. Tezuka wondered if he practiced in the mirror. "I was just going to put it in the laundry room, since it's so close."

The captain very badly wanted to hit something. "Fine. Just be quick about it."

Fuji smirked. A sexually frustrated Tezuka would be _very_ entertaining. He walked past Tezuka, brushing against him slightly and whimpering quietly. He was surprised the captain didn't do him, or himself, bodily harm.

As the tensai opened the laundry room door he heard a loud slam. He turned to see the team void of its captain. He broke down into giggles, Eiji and Momo joining him soon after.

A moment later Fuji was heading up the stairs to his room to get a shirt. He walked in and started toward his bag when something caught his eye.

Tezuka's suitcase.

"He is going to be furious with me…" Fuji smirked as he looked himself over in the mirror. He ran his hands over the front of the short pink tennis skirt, smoothing out the wrinkles. The tight skirt hugged his figure quite nicely, and he was suddenly very glad he'd snuck it in with Tezuka's things on a whim.

The tensai frowned at his reflection. "Something's missing… Oh!" He bent over the suitcase and pushed aside the various naughty costumes he'd brought until he found his makeup bag.

Ten minutes later, feeling extremely smug (not to mention extremely pretty), Fuji opened his bedroom door and nearly ran into Eiji.

Tezuka, who was downstairs in the kitchen, knew something very, _very_ bad was about to happen upon hearing Kikumaru squeal, "Nya, Fujiko, you look so cute!" and was considering stealing one of the cars and driving back to Tokyo when Fuji sauntered down the stairs. Inui was already next to him, holding a box of tissues, as blood began to seep from his nose.

Fuji looked remarkably like a girl-the light application of eyeliner and pink eyeshadow greatly increased the natural femininity of his features, as did the shiny pink lip gloss. The tight tennis skirt and blouse clung to his slight curves, making his figure look more girlish than usual.

"Fuji," Tezuka said, trying his very best to use his buchou voice, "where did that come from?"

Fuji's confused expression did not convince him at all. "What do you mean, Kunimitsu? Don't you remember? This was your birthday present."

Tezuka flushed. "I _meant,_ why did you bring it here?"

Fuji shrugged. "I just thought I might want it. Aren't you glad I thought to grab it?" He smiled cutely and skipped to the front door.

Inui, incidentally, was nearly out of tissues after this little display, and was sure Fuji considered it an added bonus that he had given _everyone_ on the team a nosebleed.

He turned and looked back at the team as he opened the door. "Aren't you guys coming?" He surveyed them. Tezuka was holding a tissue to his nose and a vein on his forehead was throbbing in irritation. Eiji was giggling uncontrollably, only a slight bit of blood running from his nose. The tissues situated under Oishi's nose were saturated.

'I always thought he was hiding something. Our beloved fukubuchou is a pervert!' Fuji laughed quietly.

Kaidoh and Taka-san were both blushing bright red, and Inui's lecherous smirk was plastered across his face. Momo looked like he was going to cry he was laughing so hard, and their freshman's smirk just barely peeked out from the shadow of his hat.

At that oh-so opportune moment, Ryuzaki walked upstairs. "I thought I told you to get in the car."

"But we were waiting for Fujiko! Nya!" Eiji glomped his friend.

"Ah!" Fuji jerked away from his friend. "Eiji touched me in a bad place!" He wrapped his arms securely around his chest, faux fear glistening in his eyes.

"I couldn't help it! Fujiko-chan is such a pretty girl!" Eiji smiled widely and pulled the tensai close to him.

Fuji giggled at the wily acrobat's antics and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Oishi was trying very hard to calm Tezuka so that the throbbing vein in his forehead wouldn't burst. He himself was on the verge of throttling Fuji, firstly because he was causing so much trouble and secondly because-well, Eiji was _his_ boyfriend! Even if they were just messing around…

However, he restrained himself, because the mother hen of Seigaku was polite and kind and most certainly did not hit people. Instead he opted to gently detach the two from each other and pull Eiji out the door behind him.

"Ne, Oishi, we were just having some fun!" Eiji whined as Oishi dragged him down the stairs. "I love you best, nya!"

Oishi's cheeks reddened.

"Besides, you got a major nosebleed, nya. Should I be jealous of Fujiko now?"

Fuji smirked. It was rare that the Golden Pair fought, but when they did Eiji tended to overreact and start a shouting match. Eiji really hated to lose.

"Fuji, go change," Tezuka said, rubbing his temples.

Fuji frowned, looking hurt. "Don't you think I'm pretty, Tezuka?"

"Go. Now."

"Leave him be, Tezuka," Ryuzaki-sensei said, pushing them out the door and motioning for the five still in the cabin to follow. "We're all starving. I'm not waiting around twenty minutes."

"But-"

"No buts. Let's go." She grinned. "Besides, Fuji looks quite nice, don't you think?"

Tezuka dearly wished he held the authority to give his coach laps. But he didn't, so he settled for storming past them childishly.

He knew one thing for certain: there was no _way_ he could ride in the same car as Fuji. That damnable skirt would be riding up his legs and he'd be "accidentally" rubbing against him ('It's so very cramped in here, Mitsu-chan, why don't you put your arm around me to give us more room?"). Oh no. Fuji could ride with Inui, for all he cared, just not with him.

Fuji, it seemed, hadn't planned of feeling Tezuka up in the car after all, because as soon as he was down the stairs he hopped into the front passenger seat of Inui's car. Tezuka blinked, a bit confused. Fuji wouldn't plot with Inui while the others were in the car, would he? Surely not… Fuji was far more intelligent than that… Still, Tezuka felt a powerful sense of foreboding as Ryuzaki drove away from the cabin behind Inui. He now had no doubt in his mind that this week would be the worst one of his life.

He sighed. Why did his boyfriend have to be so _exhausting?_

Ryoma was listening to an extremely amusing conversation from the back seat of Inui's car. Even though Momo was his boyfriend and Tezuka was his captain, he could not wait to see the outcome of their plans.

As they pulled into the parking lot and exited the cars, Tezuka realized just how wrong he was. Inui and Fuji had been speaking, only not in Japanese; they had been speaking English, and out of those who'd been in the car, Echizen was the only one besides the pair who spoke the language fluently.

He took hold of the tensai's elbow and tugged him ahead of the rest of the group. As they walked into the restaurant, a chipper voice asked, "Table for two?"

Tezuka's eyes dilated to pinpoints as he looked at the hostess. "Don't be so shy, Mitsu-chan!" Fuji chirped and smiled at the girl.

She pulled them to a secluded table at the back of the restaurant and handed them menus before going to seat the rather large group that had just walked in.

Fuji latched onto Tezuka's arm and nuzzled his shoulder. "Isn't this nice, Mitsu-chan? It's like we're on a date!"

"We should sit with the others."

"Why would we do that, when we can have a nice romantic lunch alone?" Fuji's hand rested oh so casually on Tezuka's thigh and he smiled sweetly.

Across the room, the other Seigaku Regulars were sitting down, all looking a bit confused-besides Inui and Ryoma.

"Why aren't we sitting with Buchou and Fuji-sempai?" Momo asked, tugging Ryoma into the seat next to him.

"Good question," Oishi muttered. "Inui, why _did_ you stop me from telling the hostess that we're with them?"

"Tezuka and Fuji need to be alone," Inui said simply and refused to say anything else on the matter.

"Inui! No fair! You two are scheming again!" Eiji whined, pointing an accusatory finger at Inui.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about. It's rude to point, Kikumaru."

Meanwhile, Tezuka was trying to decide whether to smack his boyfriend upside the head or drag him to the bathroom and have his way with him. Fuji's hands were in places they really shouldn't be, and he was placing tantalizing kisses on Tezuka's neck, and…

And thank _God_ for the waitress.

"Ready to order?" she asked, setting their drinks on the table.

Tezuka took his chance while he could. "Ah, actually, I need to use the restroom." He stood quickly and went in search of the bathrooms, where he could beat his head against the wall in blissful seclusion, away from seductive tensais.

Eiji looked over to see Fuji looking sad. Tezuka wasn't there. A small scowl passed over his face. "Nya, Oishi, I'll be back!" He jumped up and bounced over to Fuji's table.

The hostess looked over just in time to see this and had to do a quick double-take. "Um… who…?"

"Can I have a vanilla milkshake, please?" Eiji asked, giving the waitress a wide smile.

"Uh… sure… I'll be right back with that…" As she left, Oishi came over to get Eiji and Inui took the acrobat's place. The hostess came back with the milkshake, gawking at the two teens.

Inui finished going over some of the details of their plans. He stood as Tezuka exited the bathroom and discreetly slipped something into the captain's drink. Fuji smirked.

"Saa, Tezuka," Fuji said, toying with the cherry from Eiji's milkshake, "Want to see if I can tie the stem in a knot?"

Tezuka decided to ignore this question. "What were you talking to Inui about?"

"Just hammering out some details."

"Details of what?"

"This and that," the tensai said vaguely.

"Fuji…"

Fuji just smiled and popped the cherry stem in his mouth. In a mere twenty-six seconds (yes, Tezuka was counting), Fuji removed the stem, which was now tightly knotted, and smirked.

Good God, but that tongue was talented. Tezuka knew from experience.

Tezuka flushed as memories forced their way into his head, and he nearly went back to the bathroom-for a very different reason this time.

He shook his head. No. He could handle Fuji. He was the only one who had ever been able to exercise any sort of control over the damnable tensai. Fuji would only get to him if he let him.

That _was_ what he thought, until Fuji decided he was going to have Eiji's milkshake for himself. He picked up his spoon, dipped it into the thick liquid, and proceeded to thoroughly and erotically lick it clean.

Tezuka nearly died right then. He was surprised he didn't spontaneously combust. This, he decided, was what hell was like.

Ryoma, at the other table, was thoroughly amused. He was watching Fuji and Tezuka, and-well, under no circumstances did he want to be Tezuka. Especially since the tensai had some of Eiji's milkshake dripping down the corner of his mouth.

Kaidoh almost felt sorry for Momo-no matter how pissed he was at that idiot, he wouldn't wish Fuji and Inui on _anyone,_ especially with that creepy evil laughter they'd done on the way here.

"Is that Seigaku?"

The nine Seigaku Regulars looked up to see Mukahi Gakuto, Hyotei's acrobat and Eiji's rival.

"What are you doing here?" Eiji shrieked, pointing angrily at Gakuto.

Gakuto blinked. "I'm meeting Yuushi here. Why are _you_ here?"

Oishi stood, sensing that something very Not Good was going to happen if the two were left to their own devices. "We're vacationing in the mountains. Eiji, your eye is twitching."

Tezuka, meanwhile, was very unhappy. Fuji was torturing him, Inui and Fuji were planning tricks that could possibly end in someone's death, and if he had to break up a cat fight he would scream.

So he returned to his only place of salvation: the bathroom.

"Gakuto-kun, would you like to sit with me until Oshitari-kun arrives?" Fuji's smile was deceptively innocent.

Gakuto stuck his tongue out at Eiji and sat with the tensai, not commenting on his state of dress. This would be a good chance to acquire some information on the cat-like boy.

At the front of the restaurant, the hostess was trying to calm herself down when another young man came in.

"Excuse me, I'm supposed to be meeting someone here," he said. "He's got red hair that's styled sort of strangely, and he's a bit shorter than me."

"Oh, of course!" She led him back to a table of all-too-familiar faces. "Here's your date!" She gestured at Kikumaru Eiji, his boyfriend's rival.

"Gakuto-kun…" Fuji halted the boy and pointed out Oshitari.

"Kikumaru! What are you doing with MY Yuushi!" The acrobat jumped up, fury written across his face.

"What are you doing with MY Fujiko?" Eiji shot back.

Tezuka had left the bathroom and was standing just behind his and Fuji's table. He pinched his nose in frustration and sighed heavily.

"Eiji," Fuji said calmly, walking over to the table, "I invited Gakuto-kun to sit with me, there's no reason to be jealous."

In Fuji's absence, the hostess hurried over to the table where Tezuka was now sitting, rubbing his temples. "Excuse me, Sir," she whispered frantically, "but I think you should know-your girlfriend is cheating on you! She's been with three of the boys at that table while you were on your bathroom breaks!"

Tezuka blinked. "Fuji wasn't-"

"Fuji's MINE, Mukahi, so you can just forget about trying to steal him away from me!" Eiji shouted, sticking his tongue out childishly.

"All right, so it might appear that Fuji is being unfaithful, but there's nothing to worry about…"

The hostess looked unconvinced.

"Saa, Kunimitsu, are you flirting with the hostess behind my back? How naughty of you!"

Tezuka sighed. "Fuji, perhaps it would be best if you dropped this charade with Kikumaru."

"Eiji and I were just having a bit of fun," Fuji said sweetly, wrapping his arms around Tezuka. "I only have eyes for my Mitsu-chan."

"Well… I know it's not my place, but acting like you're dating someone you're not isn't very ladylike."

"Oh, I'm not a girl."

"EH?"

Fuji watched as the gears turned in her head, waiting for the ticker to go off before the explosion.

"That's it! I quit!" She threw her badge and apron on the floor and stormed out.

"Why are you wearing girls clothes anyway?" Oshitari asked, surveying the tensai with his eyebrow raised.

Fuji opened his eyes and gave the Hyotei player a seductive wink.

Oshitari Yuushi rushed to the restroom with a hand over his face, blood gushing from his nose. Gakuto pouted and stalked after his partner.

Not a moment later, a plump bald man stormed over to them. "Do you know that you're the cause of this restaurant's best hostess quitting?" He stuck a pudgy finger in Fuji's face.

Ryuzaki-sensei stood. "I'm sorry," she said sheepishly. "I'm responsible for him-uh, her-Fuji. I'm responsible for Fuji."

Fuji smiled innocently. "I didn't do anything, Ryuzaki-sensei. Perhaps she shouldn't try to involve herself in her customers' personal lives."

The manager looked outraged. "I'll have you know that this restaurant is owned by the Atobe family, and they do not take incidents like this lightly!"

"Why on earth would Atobe own a little diner in the mountains?" Oishi wondered. He had just come over to try to straighten things out with the manager.

"It's mostly for himself," Gakuto said, popping up out of nowhere. "But he gives us discounts. We can all just fly up here any time if we want to get away. And it's great tourist money."

The manger's eyes grew wide. "M-Mukahi-san!"

"Hello," Gakuto said brightly. "I'm sorry, are my friends causing trouble?"

"Friends? N-no, of course not! I was just-thanking them! We've, um, been meaning to fire that hostess for a while! Yes, as this fine young woman was just saying," he gestured to Fuji, "she was far too intrusive… in fact, you all deserve a free meal! All you can eat!"

This was a very, _very_ bad thing to say in hearing range of the Seigaku Regulars.

Momo and Echizen visibly perked, immediately grabbing menus. Oishi, Tezuka, and Kaidoh sweat dropped, and Fuji smiled coyly. "You will regret saying that…" He locked his fingers behind his back and rocked back and forth on his heels.

Tezuka slipped an arm around Fuji's waist and led him back to their table. He did not want the manager to take the offer back; hell if he was going to pay for their gorging.

"Paying for lunch was supposed to be part of Momo's punishment," Fuji said disappointedly. "I suppose Inui and I will have to come up with something else, then…"

Tezuka opened his mouth to scold his boyfriend, but closed it as he swayed, struck with a sudden heady feeling. He felt… nice. Super nice. Giddy.

Syusuke, ne noticed, looked really pretty, and Tezuka decided it would be in his best interest to plant a very sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Fuji blinked, confused-Tezuka despised public displays of affection-but then he realized that Inui's new juice was kicking in and he smirked. Thank goodness he'd brought his camera.

Yuushi led Gakuto over to another partially secluded table.

"I see my new juice is working," Inui mumbled as he scribbled away in his ever-present notebook.

"What did you do, Inui-sempai?" Kaidoh asked warily.

"Gave Tezuka an experimental alcohol of mine." Inui looked up at his boyfriend. When the kohai's eyes widened, he smiled. "I was going to test it on you, but this seemed like a better opportunity."

Kaidoh's face flushed in anger and his hand lashed up, hitting his boyfriend's cheek.

Everyone looked over to see Inui wearing a perverted smirk and Kaidoh blushing madly.

"...Eiji… If the chance ever arose… would you ever leave me for Fuji?" Oishi asked softly as everyone went back to their own conversations.

"Eh? Leave you for Fujiko?" Eiji repeated, as if this were the most random question Oishi could possibly have asked. "Why would I do that?"

"Well… you've been flirting with him all day… and you were having a lot of fun with him... So…"

"I have lots of fun with Oishi too, nya! Me and Fuji were just playing. I love my Oishi and nothing will change that! Besides…" Eiji added, a devious glint in his eye, "I need a big strong man like Oishi to protect me."

Oishi flushed. "E-Eiji…"

"Oishi's my perfect seme match, nya!"

"Eiji! Don't… you shouldn't talk about such things in public…"

Eiji's eyes shut most of the way as he snuggled against Oishi. "Nya, but Oishi is stupid to think that I would leave him for Fujiko." He pushed himself closer to Oishi, who gasped as Eiji's breath flushed over his neck in warm pants.

Oishi's face turned impossibly red as his thoughts took a turn for the unsavory.

For once Fuji was completely content-well, in front of people, that is. He had no doubts that he would always be satisfied when he was in Tezuka's arms. "Saa, Mitsu-chan? Would you really hate having kids together so much?"

Tezuka stopped mid-kiss, his lips still barely touching the tensai's neck.

"Mitsu-chan?"

"Syusuke…" Tezuka pulled Fuji closer as he'd seen Inui and Oishi do with their respective ukes. "We're only in high school, and we have our whole lives ahead of us. You'd be out of commission for nine months… and we're both men. Our baby would be ridiculed." He really wanted his boyfriend to understand that it was not a good idea to have a baby right now.

Fuji said nothing, just lowered his head, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Syusuke?"

"I understand, Buchou."

Tezuka shuddered. Fuji _never_ called him that unless he was really angry. The tensai climbed into his lap and rested his head against Tezuka's collar bone. Tezuka downed the rest of his now alcoholic drink without thinking, and boy would be he need it…

"Kaidoh!"

"No!"

"But-"

"No!"

"You have to come out eventually."

"Says you!"

Kaidoh had locked himself in a bathroom stall, away from his ultra-perverted boyfriend.

"But Kaoru, plea-"

"No! I bet you were planning on giving me something that lets me have kids without my knowledge too!" Kaidoh shouted furiously at the analyst.

"Well, technically I haven't made that one yet-"

"THAT DOESN'T HELP!"

Inui sighed. "Kaoru-chan, please don't be angry."

Silence. "Don't call me that."

"Don't call you what? Kaoru-chan?"

"Inui-sempai!"

Inui grinned. Kaidoh had never been able to stay mad at him for very long. "Please open the door?"

There was a long pause as Kaidoh debated whether to comply. "No."

"Fine." Inui walked into the stall next to Kaidoh and peeked over the unusually short dividing wall to see his boyfriend sitting on the toilet, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Kaidoh gave him a death glare. "Go away, Inui-sempai."

This was getting ridiculous, Inui thought, so he did the one thing he knew Kaidoh wouldn't be able to resist: he took off his glasses.

Kaidoh's eyes grew wide and he jumped over the wall, slamming Inui into the closed stall door.

Inui smirked as Kaidoh wrapped his arms around him, mumbling a muffled "You're forgiven" into his neck.

To Kaidoh, Inui had figured out early in their relationship, his eyes were like a really good tennis move-only show it very rarely, and no one will ever figure out how to counter it. He pushed his glasses back onto his face, quite pleased with himself. "There was a one hundred percent chance you'd forgive me." He held his protégé closely, as there was also a fifty percent chance he'd get slapped for that comment.

"Inui-sempai, would you really give me something like that without telling me?" Kaidoh's tight hug loosened a bit as if he was expecting disappointment.

"Kaoru-chan, I-"

"Hey! You with the spiky hair! This is a public establishment! No one wants to clean up your messes! In my day we wouldn't even think of trying to do something so intimate with our girlfriends before marriage!"

Inui looked down to see a short elderly man with a cane dressed in a janitor's outfit in the stall next to hem. Now that he thought about it, this did look extremely compromising. Their positions had flip-flopped; Kaidoh was now up against the door, and his face was shadowed by his hair and partially buried in Inui's shirt. Still… girlfriend!

Kaidoh gripped Inui's shirt tightly as he began shaking. "I am Kaidoh Kaoru!" he shouted, attempting to jump over the stall wall to tackle the old man.

Inui grabbed Kaidoh around the waist, trying to restrain him from beating the janitor to a bloody pulp. Even while being held back, Kaidoh was trying to throw punches, and Inui was fairly sure the man would have a nice bruise on his cheek.

"Let me go, Inui-sempai!" Kaidoh shouted, fighting to get free.

"Calm down, Kaoru," Inui said, trying not sound too condescending, as Kaidoh's rage would probably be directed toward him.

"He called me a GIRL!"

Inui pushed his glasses up. "Well, your face was rather obscured."

"INUI-SEMPAI!"

"And logically, when one sees two people as close as we were, one would assume it was a male and a female…"

"I don't BELIEVE you!" Kaidoh pushed Inui away from him and kicked open the stall door. "I'm waiting in the car."

"But-"

"Leave me ALONE!"

"But Kaoru-"

"I don't want to hear it!"

"But I have the car key."

Kaidoh paused, hissing loudly, and grudgingly turned around. "Give it to me."

"Kaoru-chan, if we could just talk this out-"

"Give me the GOD DAMN key NOW or you'll be as miserable as Buchou for a much longer period of time!"

Inui winced. He knew from the look on Kaidoh's face that his kohai wasn't kidding. Tezuka was definitely used to sex on a very regular basis… he would probably give in within a couple days. Kaidoh, however… Well, he'd held out for quite a long time before, and Inui had _not_ enjoyed it, to say the least. With a sad sigh, he pulled the keys out of his pocket and held them out to Kaidoh, who snatched them and stormed out.

It was silent for a moment.

"So…" the janitor said uncomfortably-Inui had forgotten he was even there until now-"you're one of them homosexuals, huh?"

Inui decided this was a good time to take a leaf out of Tezuka's book and thumped his head against the wall.

Momo and Ryoma had paused their eating fest and were now frozen. Their eyes were locked on the two shadowed figures of Tezuka and Fuji. Low grunts were coming from the table, mostly in Tezuka's deep voice.

"M-Momo-sempai… what are they doing?" Ryoma looked up at the taller boy.

"Well, Ryoma… I can only tell you through example." Momo's smirk was reminiscent of the Cheshire cat.

"Momoshiro!" Oishi scolded his kohai loudly. Momo started laughing uncontrollably as the Fukubuchou yelled at him.

Meanwhile, Ryoma was in Yaoi 101 with Kikumaru-sensei. His eyes widened impossibly as Eiji filled him in on the wonders of gay sex, providing very graphic details and examples, both from his personal experiences and Fuji's, speaking quietly so Oishi wouldn't overhear and stop him. The one-sided conversation went on for a good five minutes before Oishi finally got curious.

"The preparation stage is the most important," Eiji was saying. "Remember, lube is an uke's best friend-"

"EIJI! What do you think you're doing?"

The acrobat smiled innocently. "I was just answering Ochibi's question. Besides, he's going to need it eventually anyway."

Oishi sighed in irritation. "Eiji, you-Echizen? Are you okay?"

Ryoma was staring straight ahead, still wide-eyed, the Ponta can in his hand dangling dangerously from his fingertips. Momo snapped his fingers in front of Ryoma's face. "Ne, Echizen?"

The freshman didn't respond.

"Eiji-sempai… I think you broke him."

 _God, Fuji has talented hands!_ Tezuka let out a keening whine as Fuji's thumb pressed into his spot. "Syusuke! Have you ever thought of being a massage therapist?" He used the side of the tensai's neck to stifle another moan as Fuji worked a knot out of his shoulder and whimpered as Fuji fidgeted in his lap. Damnable tensai!

"Kaoru, stop!" Inui ordered as he grabbed the younger boy's arm.

"Inui-sempai, let me go!" Kaidoh tried to pull away from his seme.

"Excuse me, is there a problem here?" A large, burly man stepped up to them, "security guard" flashing on his silver badge.

"Fshuu!" Kaidoh ignored the man and began royally telling Inui off in a mix of words and hisses.

Inui disregarded the man altogether, pulling Kaidoh to him. He held the boy's wrists together to stop the strong and well-placed blows he was sure he'd be receiving. "Kaoru, stop this nonsense." Inui gave him a stern look.

The two were suddenly pulled apart by the security guard. "Is he giving you trouble, kid?" the man asked Kaidoh.

Kaidoh blinked up at him. "Uh, n-yes. Yes, he is."

Inui looked back and forth between his boyfriend and the security guard. "Kaoru-"

"I don't know how you know my name," Kaidoh said, hands on his hips. "Are you stalking me or something?"

The data player's eyes widened as the security guard grabbed the collar of his shirt. "You're coming with me. We'll make sure he stays away from you, kid."

Kaidoh gave him a vulnerable look and said, "Thank you, Sir."

 _I never knew Kaoru was such a good actor_ Inui thought, sighing as the guard dragged him off.

Kaidoh walked back to the team's table with a smug smile on his lips.

"Nya! Kaidoh-kun looks happy." Eiji's eyes danced as he looked at his kohai.

"Kikumaru-sempai looks amused." Kaidoh's smirk didn't leave as he took a sip of his drink.

"Oishi-sempai! What's wrong with Ry-Echizen!" Momo tugged on Oishi's sleeve, annoyed that Oishi was ignoring him.

"Kikumaru Eiji! I can't believe you would try to explain such things to Echizen when you know damn well you're still a virgin!" Oishi's rant didn't stop there-he continued to go on about morals, marriage, and the like. Eiji blushed, embarrassed that Oishi was spilling their love life to everyone.

"But, Oishi-sempai," Momo said, looking confused, "didn't Eiji-sempai say something about, um, trying new things?"

Oishi paused, blinked, then blushed dark red upon realizing everything he'd said. "Uh-I-that is-"

"Nya, well," Eiji said uncomfortably, "there are ways of… experimenting without actually _doing_ it."

Momo forced himself to not look at Ryoma, naughty thoughts already forcing their way into his head.

"Eiji, that's quite enough detail," Oishi said firmly, glancing at the still-broken Echizen.

"Kaidoh, where's Inui?" Ryuzaki-sensei asked.

Tezuka shivered as Fuji's tongue traced the other edge of his ear. "Syusuke!" He pulled the tensai into a kiss.

"Tezuka!"

The couple flew apart, Fuji hitting his head on the table in his haste.

Ryuzaki stood over them, hands on her hips, Inui standing behind her, his head hanging. He looked disturbingly like a kicked puppy.

Tezuka surveyed his boyfriend. His skirt was riding _way_ up, the blouse was partially undone-basically, he looked ravished.

"F-Fuji, when did you get…" Tezuka flushed as he caught sight of the lacy female undergarments.

"I want you two over at the table with the rest of us, now," Ryuzaki muttered with her head in her hand.

Fuji smiled innocently. "Just a moment, Sensei." He turned to Tezuka. "Kunimitsu, would mind unbu-I mean, _buttoning_ my top for me? My hands are all sticky."

Tezuka nodded dumbly and brought his hands to the tensai's chest. However, in his drunken state, his balance wasn't quite what it usually was, and he fell forward.

His elbow, as luck would have it, hit Eiji's milkshake, knocking it over the edge of the table and all over Fuji. Specifically, the front of his blouse.

It also didn't' help that Tezuka was now straddling the tensai, whom he had shoved down when he slipped. Fuji's skirt was now so far up that the entirety of his lacy pink thong was showing.

"Syusuke…"

Fuji blinked, cerulean eyes wide.

"Why on earth are you wearing those…?"

"Well…" Fuji's eyes almost shut and he flushed. "I thought you'd like it…" He plucked at the hem of his skirt.

"Fuji." The duo looked over to see Inui standing in front of their table. "Here." He slid a vial into the tensai's hand. Fuji smirked and quickly downed its contents.

"Kaoru, please speak to me?" Inui had tugged the second year up against him and was gently nipping the side of his neck.

"Momoshiro-kun, the other day you were asking me about teaching you the Snake…" Kaidoh said, blatantly ignoring his boyfriend.

"Hn…" Momo paused with a noodle hanging from his mouth.

Inui let out a low growl and tightened his grip around his uke.

Tezuka's lips twitched into a smile as the alcohol quickly entered Fuji's system. The tensai was giggling nearly hysterically.

They stumbled across the restaurant to the Regulars' table, holding onto each other for support.

"Tezuka got me all messy," Fuji slurred, then started giggling again.

The other Regulars looked at each other, unsure whether to laugh or not.

"Maybe you two should go outside to… get some fresh air," Ryuzaki-sensei suggested.

"Hai!" Fuji said cutely and started toward the door, tugging Tezuka long with him. "Come on, Mitsu-chan!"

"Fuji."

"Hm?"

Ryuzaki-sensei held out her hand. "The car key, please."

"What are you talking about, Sensei? I don't have the keys."

" _Fuji."_

He sighed and took the key from his pocket, pouting. "Sensei takes all the fun out of things."

As the inebriated couple left the restaurant, Ryuzaki-sensei turned to glare at Inui. "This is all your fault."

Inui's kicked puppy look returned. He hung his head, letting his arms slip from around Kaidoh's waist.

Kaidoh hissed. That look on Inui's face was simply too adorable to resist, so he nuzzled his sempai's arm.

The perk in Inui's features was almost to infinitesimal to notice, but Kaidoh did. Most people couldn't read either of them, but they could read each other.

Inui rested his forehead on Kaidoh's shoulder, taking in the much needed comfort. He was surprised when a smaller calloused hand wrapped around his in Kaidoh's lap. The unspoken message was clear: "I'm sorry for getting you in trouble, and I forgive you. I love you."

"Mo-Momo-sempai… does that mean that you… with me…?" Ryoma questioned, his golden eyes wide with anticipation and fear. "But Momo-sempai… I'm inexperienced. I could hurt you. What was it that Kikumaru-sempai was talking about…? Lube? Yeah, that's right. I should get you some!"

"He-he thinks!"

"Seme Echizen?"

The other two ukes at the table were almost in tears laughing, as well as Momo.

"Echizen, because you're younger and much smaller, Momoshiro would definitely top you," Inui said as he tried to calm Kaidoh.

"But… but…" Ryoma looked torn between having a breakdown and throwing a tantrum.

Momo hugged him. "Don't worry, Ryoma, I'll be gentle."

"There is a ninety-five percent chance that Momoshiro will be a good and fulfilling seme, Echizen," Inui said from behind a notebook.

"Hey!" Momo scowled at Inui. "Why only ninety-five?"

"Momo, I'm sure you'd be a good seme, but there are always small things that don't worry semes that can make life as an uke a living hell," Oishi tried to explain. "For example. How big of a deal do you think preparation is?"

"Not too much of one…" Momo raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Kaidoh-kun, um… have you ever had a preparation-free experience that's fondly remembered?"

Kaidoh shook his head rapidly. "Pain." Inui rubbed his protégé's back in a soothing manner.

Outside the restaurant Tezuka had his drunken hands full. Fuji, calm, sadistic, evil Fuji, _his_ Fuji was, he'd realized, quite the slutty drunk. Had he been more intoxicated, he probably would have shoved the tensai against the brick wall and-wait, this was Tezuka.

The captain shook his head and pushed the oh-so tempting thoughts away.

"Mitsu-chan, I'm still all sticky! I need to change…" Fuji whined.

Tezuka's eyes widened as Fuji tried to pull his shirt over his head. He quickly pulled the hem of the shirt from Fuji's hands. "Syusuke… you shouldn't do that. We're in the middle of a public parking lot…"

Fuji ignored him, walked a few feet away, and lifted his shirt again.

"Syusuke! Do you know what people will think if they look out the window? It would be okay if you weren't wearing a skirt, but-"

The tensai, already bare-chested, blinked and unzipped his skirt, which pooled at his feet. "Is this better?" he asked innocently.

Tezuka closed his eyes. Fuji was practically naked, in the middle of a parking lot-the parking lot of ATOBE'S restaurant, no less-horribly drunk. There would be no deterring him from getting what he wanted.

So Tezuka did the only thing he could think of: he popped open the trunk of their car (he had the spare to Ryuzaki-sensei's car, a fact no one else was aware of), grabbed a racket and tennis ball, and sent the ball flying at Fuji's head. The tensai was immediately knocked out and fell to the ground.

Tezuka sighed. "I'm sorry about this, Syusuke," he said as he dragged the tensai to the car and unlocked the door. "It's for your own good." He laid Fuji in the car, gathered his clothes, and redressed him before cracking the windows and shutting the doors.

He stumbled back into the restaurant and sat down at the Regulars' table next to Oishi.

"Where's Fuji?" the fukubuchou asked.

"He's in the car," Tezuka said shortly and stole Echizen's plate (the freshman was still arguing with Inui over his uke-ness).

Oishi sighed and put a chaste kiss on Eiji's forehead as he wrapped an arm around him.

"Nya, aren't you glad we've never had relationship issues?" Eiji cuddled up to his doubles partner.

"Don't jinx it!" Oishi mussed the younger boy's hair, earning him a light nip in response.

Tezuka and Kaidoh shared a look of frustration as Inui, Momo, and Ryoma argued animatedly over Ryoma's position in bed.

"Boys!" Ryuzaki shouted over them, "unless you want other teammates at this table to do you bodily harm I suggest you change the subject!"

The arguing trio hushed at her words.

"Eh, Buchou," Taka-san said, "Why is Fujiko in the car?"

Inui pulled out a random notebook from nowhere. "There is and eighty-three percent chance that Tezuka did something malicious to him. Spousal abuse is a very serious crime, you know, Tezuka."

"Fuji's not my spouse," Tezuka muttered.

"Nya, you didn't kill him, did you, Tezuka?"

"Of course he didn't," Oishi said soothingly. "Fuji probably just passed out. He was pretty drunk. Right, Tezuka?"

"…Hn."

"See, Eiji? Tezuka would never abuse-"

"That's him, officer!"

-TBC-

A/N: Okay, so, we realize this was a bit random-all right, a _lot_ random-but, you know, it's crack. You should've realized it was ten thousand words of crack, since it was in the summary and all. Anyway, we'd really like reviews. It's always nice hearing what people think and what we could improve upon. Even if you're going to tell us it sucks, which honestly we're half expecting anyway. So thanks.


	2. It's Totally Unfair!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook - It's Totally Unfair!_

_The Notebook - It's Totally Unfair!_

A/N: Back again! We hope you enjoyed chapter one. Now get ready for part two, in which some surprise guests show up for your reading pleasure.

Chapter warnings: Implied sex, Fuji torture, and a unanimously hated character.

The eight Regulars turned toward the entrance to see Fuji, accompanied by a policeman and pointing straight at Tezuka.

"He violated me, knocked me out, and locked me in the back of his car… I'm just so scared…" Fuji hid behind the officer, his arms hugging his body.

The policeman gave Tezuka a disgusted look. "All right, son, I'm takin' you down to the station. Damn sickos, I live to put bastards like you away…"

The captain was truly dumbfounded and couldn't even protest as the officer pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

"No, Sir, I think there's been some mistake," Ryuzaki-sensei said, standing. "Fuji, what did you tell this man?"

"Just the truth," Fuji said innocently. "That Tezuka knocked me out with a tennis ball and stuck me in the back of the car."

Ryuzaki looked at Tezuka. "Is that right?"

"It sounds much worse than it is."

She sighed. "I would never expect this from you."

"He was stripping in the middle of the parking lot. And we were both drunk. It was the first thing that came to mind." He turned to Fuji. "I tried not to serve it very hard."

"You hit it hard enough to knock me out," Fuji said, pouting.

"You were already about to pass out anyway. I just wanted it to happen before you were completely naked in front of Atobe's restaurant."

"Excuses, excuses…" Fuji sighed. "This will take a lot of making up, Kunimitsu…"

"Are you sure, Miss?" the policeman said. "You could press charges if you wanted to. Be strong. You can't let yourself be in an abusive relationship."

Fuji smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Sir. I'll keep that in mind."

The officer nodded to Fuji, gave Tezuka a nasty glare, and left.

"Fuji, that was very wrong of you! You could have gotten Tezuka in a lot of trouble," Ryuzaki scolded. "What if I hadn't jumped in when I did? He would've taken Tezuka to _prison,_ and then what? It's _illegal_ to lie to the police-"

"Yes, Sensei, I know. I'm sorry." Fuji didn't sound very sincere at all.

Ryuzaki raised an eyebrow. "Tezuka, I hope you give him a worthy punishment."

"I intend to, Sensei."

An hour and a half later, the Regulars and their coach pulled up to the cabin for the second time that day. Fuji started toward the cabin with the others, but Tezuka placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Finish your laps first."

"Can't I change?"

"No."

Fuji's smile turned a bit strained, but he turned and disappeared around the side of the cabin.

"And Inui's making Aozu," Tezuka called after him.

Once inside, the captain sat down next to Oishi on the sofa, where he was perfectly able to see out the window opposite them-or, more specifically, where he was able to see Fuji run past every minute or so.

"Tezuka, don't you think Aozu is a bit harsh?" Oishi said.

"Not at all."

Kaidoh appeared in front of them. "Buchou? May I suggest something?"

Oishi cocked his head to the side, looking as surprised as Tezuka felt. "Yes, you may," Tezuka said. It piqued his curiosity that Kaidoh would approach him with advice, but then again Inui and Fuji were quite alike, and he was well aware that Kaidoh and Inui squabbled frequently. Surely whatever Kaidoh had to say would be of good use against Fuji.

Oishi scooted over to make room for their kohai, and he and Tezuka leaned forward to listen.

By the end of their mini planning session, Tezuka was feeling extremely smug, and would've been smirking like the Cheshire cat had he been the type to show his emotions.

Fuji finished his laps fifteen minutes later, and spent most of the day passed out on the couch after swallowing a full pitcher of Aozu.

It was nearly eight o'clock in the evening when he woke up again. He looked around dazedly for a moment at his fellow Regulars. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Approximately five hours fifteen minutes," Inui said, whipping out his notebook. "A new record."

"Where's Tezuka?"

"Oh, he's gone to bed for the night," Oishi said. "Early as it is. I think he wants to be rested for tomorrow, especially after Inui slipped him that new alcoholic juice." The vice-captain sent a reproving look at Inui.

"I see." Fuji frowned. "I'll go up too, then." He stood, stretching his stiff limbs. "Good night."

"Night, Fujiko!" Eiji called.

Fuji climbed the stairs tiredly, plotting assorted graphic, painful ways to kill Inui. Some partner in crime. He yawned as he entered his and Tezuka's shared bedroom. He hadn't yet taken a shower from after his laps, but he figured it could wait until morning-he was just too exhausted tonight.

The first thing he realized was that Tezuka was not in bed. Confused, he started toward the bed, but stopped dead in his tracks when hot breath hit his neck. "I've been waiting for you… Syusuke."

All thoughts of exhaustion were erased when Tezuka whispered seductively in his ear. "K-Kunimitsu," he stuttered. "What are you-"

"Shh," Tezuka breathed soothingly. He kissed Fuji's neck, eliciting a choked moan from the tensai. "You look so sexy in this. I couldn't resist."

Fuji groaned again as Tezuka pulled his shirt over his head and began nipping at his shoulder. Tezuka pulled the tensai over to the bed, pushed him down, and straddled his hips.

"Mm… Mitsu… what about my punishment?"

"Oh, I'm going to punish you all right," the captain said wickedly. He moved off the tensai for a moment, tugged the pink skirt off, and sat on him again, this time on his thighs.

"What are you going to do to me?" Fuji asked in a pseudo-fearful voice, fighting down a giggle.

"First I'm going to tie you up," Tezuka said, breathing into Fuji's ear and making the tensai shudder. "And gag you…"

He demonstrated by pulling rope from under a pillow and tying Fuji's wrists to the headboard, then ripping a piece of duct tape off a roll and putting it over Fuji's mouth.

"And now I'm going to take your picture."

Fuji grinned-or tried to, forgetting the tape covering his mouth. This was just so _kinky._ Tezuka picked up his boyfriend's camera from the floor and began snapping photos.

"And now…" Tezuka said lowly, trailing a finger down Fuji's chest and along the hem of his thong. Suddenly he yawned. "It's late. We should go to bed."

Fuji blinked. _What?_

"I think I'll sleep on the couch in the living room tonight. Good night, Syusuke."

Fuji growled from behind the duct tape, yelling and cursing at Tezuka in his head as he struggled to get free. The sound of a door shutting had never been so cold and foreboding to him.

'Cold unfulfilling fucking bastard!' Fuji thought furiously. 'It's freezing. He could've at least pulled the covers over me.' He looked at the comforter on the bed, knowing there was no way he would be able to reach them without use of his hands.

Looking around, he saw a familiar blinking red light sitting on a ledge just above the door. Tezuka was recording this on video!

Fuji spent the night making sure that when Tezuka watched that tape, every single second would drive him insane. Especially after he got the tape off his mouth-who knew there were so many ways to moan Atobe's name?

Everyone slept in the next morning, save Taka and Ryuzaki, who were both quite surprised to see Tezuka asleep on the couch.

In Momo and Ryoma's room, the two kohai had curled up together in bed, despite their argument the previous night. Being probably the two laziest members of the team, it went without saying they were both still asleep.

"If it wasn't for the fact that-"

"It'd be almost cute, ne?"

Oishi and Inui laughed sheepishly at their boyfriends. When Eiji had gone to bed the previous night, he had accidentally crawled into the wrong one, specifically the one Kaidoh was already asleep in, leaving the two older boys to awkwardly share.

Yet Eiji and Kaoru snuggled together on the bed somehow didn't bother either of them too much. Inui even snapped a few pictures.

Tezuka gently shook Fuji awake. "Good morning," he said as Fuji opened his eyes blearily. "How did you sleep?"

The tensai glared up at him, livid.

"I see you got the tape off."

DEATH GLARE.

"Are you not speaking to me, Syusuke?"

"Fuck off."

That answered that question, Tezuka thought as he reached up to untie the ropes. "I'm sorry, Syusuke, but you needed to be taught a lesson."

Fuji ignored him. He rubbed his wrists and kneeled by his suitcase, pulling out clothes for the day.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said, pushing the bedroom door open.

"…Syusuke, you're still wearing-"

"I know. Don't forget to watch the tape, Kunimitsu."

Tezuka's eyes narrowed and he grabbed the camera. It would probably be a very bad idea to watch this… but he was extremely curious…

Fuji placed his clothes on the sink and pulled off the pink thong before turning the water on. He half-expected to hear a frustrated shout, but that wouldn't be like Tezuka at all. Instead, half-way through his shower, he heard the door open. He waited momentarily and finally the shower curtain was pulled open. Tezuka's firm chest pressed against his back.

"Syusuke, let's stop this nonsense…" Tezuka mumbled over the spray of the shower.

"Saa…" Fuji subconsciously rubbed the marks on his wrists.

"Kaidoh, Eiji, wake up!" Oishi and Inui shouted together, yanking the blankets off the two younger teammates.

Eiji shot up, immediately flicking his eyes toward the damnable box. Kaidoh just reached a hand up to take the blanket back and clamp his pillow over his head.

"Nya! Oishi, what am I doing in this bed?" Eiji wrapped himself around his doubles partner.

"Well, you crawled in last night, and you and Kaidoh both looked comfortable, so-"

"But Oishi!" he argued.

Inui picked up Kaidoh, pondering which annoying way he should wake him up when Kaidoh grunted something sounding like, "Put me down, Inui-sempai!"

"It's getting late, Kaoru. Time to wake up," Inui reprimanded.

Kaidoh glared at him and climbed back into bed, pulling the pillow over his head again. The data analyst sighed. "I didn't want to do this, but…" He leaned down and pinched Kaidoh's butt, making the kohai yelp and jump up.

"INUI-SEMPAI!"

Inui grinned wickedly. "Hurry up and get dressed. Ryuzaki-sensei's making breakfast."

The four of them went downstairs, where Taka was helping Ryuzaki with their breakfast. "Morning," Taka said brightly. "Sleep well?"

Kaidoh and Eiji blushed and mumbled something, while their semes chuckled.

"Where are Tezuka and Fuji?" Ryuzaki asked. "Tezuka slept on the couch last night, but he went upstairs a while ago…"

"I believe Tezuka and Fuji are currently in the shower." Inui said.

Taka flushed. "Together?"

"Yes."

"Nya, but, aren't they mad at each other?" Eiji asked.

"I'd say they're pretty much even," Oishi said. "Tezuka got a little revenge last night."

Eiji frowned but didn't press. He'd get Oishi to tell him later. "Somebody has to go wake up Momo and Ochibi."

Momo and Ryoma were already half-awake-the thumping noises coming from the other side of their bedroom wall had roused them.

Ryoma, buried beneath a mound of covers twice his size, reached a hand up and pounded on the wall. Momo supposed this was the freshman's way of saying, "Shut the fuck up! I'm trying to sleep!"

Then he realized something.

"Oi, Echizen? Isn't the bathroom on the other side of this wall?"

Two owlish gold eyes popped out of the covers under a mop of messy hair.

As Taka was about to open the door, two flustered kohai bulldozed past him and down the stairs.

Taka blinked in surprise. "What-" He walked in and heard the thump-thump against the wall, coupled with faint, unintelligible moans and shouts. The power layer flushed and hurried from the room.

Momo and Ryoma sat down at the table, both beet red.

"Ne, Momo, Ochibi, what's wrong?"

The pair stuttered but didn't manage to say anything, both too flustered to form a complete sentence.

"It's possible they overheard Tezuka and Fuji's activities, seeing as the bathroom is on the other side of the wall closest to their bed."

Kaidoh blushed, and the Golden Pair sniggered.

"Echizen, you aren't broken again, are you?" Momo said, prodding his boyfriend's shoulder. Ryoma just stared at his plate.

"He'll be fine when he has food," Oishi said.

Twenty minutes later, Tezuka and Fuji ambled down the stairs, hair damp. Fuji was walking strangely, almost limping. Eiji giggled.

The couple frowned, confused, as the others at the table attempted to hold in their laughter. When Fuji sat down, yelped, and shot up again, the sniggering just got worse.

He sat again, more gingerly this time, and surveyed the others. "Okay, what's so funny? Or do you want me to find out the hard way?" The icy glint in his eyes and the tone of his voice had them all silent. The entire team gave a collective shudder, thinking back to the shower incident.

"Sensei, what are the plans for today?" Oishi asked in an attempt to switch subjects.

"Well, I figured we could go into town, there seemed to be some interesting shops," Ryuzaki said, look at the fukubuchou.

"Ne, Buchou?" Echizen gave Tezuka a too-innocent look. "Is the thumping monster in the bathroom gone? Or were you 'mating with the forest people' too?"

Everyone laughed at the freshman's comment. Tezuka turned an interesting shade of red, and Fuji jumped up, only to yelp and collapse, missing his chair.

"Itai!" Fuji cringed. "Mitsu-chan, don't be so rough next time, please." He pouted up at his seme.

"So much for the 'no sex for a month' rule," Eiji muttered, giggling. Tezuka's flush darkened.

Half an hour later, they piled into the cars and set off for the town.

It was a very small town, no more than a mile in any direction, but at least fifty tiny shops were crammed together on either side of the main street.

Fuji, Eiji noticed, was having a difficult time walking-he was limping still and cringed at every step. Eiji put a comforting arm around his friend's shoulder. "Ne, Fujiko, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Eiji," Fuji answered, offering the acrobat a reassuring smile.

Eiji raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I guess Buchou was really into it, huh?"

"Well, it's not just that. I _was_ repeatedly being thrown against the wall. My back is killing me."

"Ouch. Are you sure you're okay to walk, then?"

"I'll be fine. I've had worse."

Eiji pouted. "It's totally unfair!"

This caught Fuji off-guard. "What's unfair, Eiji?"

" _I_ want to be aching all over from awesome shower sex, but Oishi's too much of a prude to go all the way!"

The tensai blinked, then smiled. "Don't worry, Eiji. You just have to give him some time. He'll come around eventually."

"He's had five years to come around! We've done all the other stuff, so why can't we just do _it?"_ He sighed. "I hate being the only third year virgins. Even _Kaidoh_ lost it before me, and he's only a second year!"

"Well, you can still beat Momo and Echizen," Fuji said helpfully.

"I'm not so sure after yesterday's discussion. Echizen was talking about buying lube. Honestly, I'm considering just jumping him to get it over with. After that he can't complain, right?"

Fuji shook his head. "No, Eiji, you can't do that. Your first time is supposed to be special."

"Hypocrite! Yours was in the locker room!"

"That _was_ special. Tennis is what brought Tezuka and me together. We would've done it on the courts if we could've gotten away with it."

"Knowing you, you could have," Eiji muttered.

"Kikumaru," Inui said, walking up behind him, "according to my data, you will be eighty-nine percent more pleased if you wait for Oishi."

"But Inui! Oishi-"

"There is a seventy-two percent chance you are not ready for a sexual relationship," he added, flipping through a few pages.

Fuji slipped a hand into Eiji's comfortingly. Sometimes the naïve little neko-boy was just too much. That, and he was having a hard time walking normally without his friend's support.

"I'm already _in_ a sexual relationship," Eiji argued. "Oishi and I have been doing stuff for years. We just haven't gone all the way, and I don't know why."

"He probably doesn't want you walking around with a limp." Kaidoh gave the cat-like boy a half-smile as he slipped in beside Inui. The analyst slipped an arm around him.

Fuji yelped painfully as a person going the opposite direction bumped into him. Eiji reflexively grabbed his friend and scowled at the passerby.

Tezuka and Oishi heard the noise and looked back quickly.

"Syusuke?" Tezuka said worriedly, rushing to Fuji's side. "What's wrong?"

"Nya, somebody bumped into him," Eiji said spitefully, squeezing Fuji more tightly.

Tezuka's eyes widened. "Are you in that much pain, Syusuke?"

Fuji shook his head and gave his boyfriend a pained smile. "I'm fine, really."

The buchou frowned, looking doubtful. "Maybe we should go back."

"I don't want to ruin everyone's fun."

Eiji scowled at Tezuka. "This is all your fault, Tezuka!"

Tezuka blinked. "Pardon?"

"You and your insatiable sexual appetite! You're the reason Fujiko's hurt!"

"Eiji, don't-"

"Insatiable sexual appetite? Were you not just complaining about not having lost your virginity yet?" Tezuka argued.

Oishi looked at Eiji with wide eyes. "Is that true, Eiji?"

Eiji's cheeks turned quite an amusing shade of red, and suddenly the sidewalk became extremely interesting. "Y-yes…"

The tensai gave the captain a glare. "Tezuka, that was quite unnecessary. Don't but into their sex life!"

"I believe it was Kikumaru who was butting into _our_ sex life, Fuji." Tezuka fixed a look on the tensai.

"Eiji was concerned for my welfare!"

Oishi, Taka, and the other couples watched in awe. It was rare to see Fuji look so utterly _pissed._

"Even so, he had no right to yell at me."

"Well, to be honest, it _is_ your fault I'm hurt-"

"You weren't complaining at the time."

A crowd was now gathering around the arguing couples, curious passersby having stopped to watch the drama unfold.

"It's rather hard to complain when you're mouth is covered and you're pressed up against the wall of a shower, Tezuka." Fuji took a careful but firm step forward, as if challenging his boyfriend.

"Eiji, I'd prefer you discussed these things with me before complaining to Fuji…"

"Nya, Oishi, I try, but whenever I do you get all embarrassed and change the subject!"

It was Oishi's turn to clamp up as he realized all the times he had brushed the subject off; he'd been doing it for at least two of the years he and Eiji had been together.

"Oh my gosh!" A shrill exclamation broke into the arguments. "Look, Nee-chan! Nee-chan! It's those people you're always talking about, the ones who play tennis!" A tiny girl with orangey hair and a mole on her cheek ran into the midst of them.

"Ryomoka!" a taller, almost identical girl called, running up to them. "Ryomoka, you shouldn't run off-ohmigod! Ryoma-sama!" The girl, upon seeing Ryoma, glomped him.

"T-Tomoka?" he shouted.

-TBC-

A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CLIFFHANGER. O.O …Reviews please? Kya…So much shorter than chapter one! /sigh/ Oh well! There's more cracky drama in that chapter…


	3. What the hell is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook- What the hell is going on?_

_The Notebook- What the hell is going on?_

A/N: Yay, chapter 3! Okay, so we lied. There's not going to be a really long wait. We decided we'd type up the rest of what he had written just to hold you all over, and though this chapter is going to be short, at least it's _something._ Chapter 4 (or chapter 3 part 2, however we decide to do it), however, will take us some time. Please bear with us-we lost of _lot_ of writing, and we barely remember most of what was in it.

Disclaimer: If we owned Prince of Tennis, there would be a lot less tennis and a lot more mansex. It belongs to Konomi Takeshi, who, though he clearly _likes_ mansex, has not seen fit to incorporate it into the series.

Chapter Warnings: …Tomoka, which is a warning in itself. A rather permanent OC, though I _promise_ that she is very lovable. Utter crack, Fuji plotting nonsensical things (like, _really_ crazy things), stalker yaoi fangirls. (Everyone's favorite kind!) Manipulation, mostly by Fuji. A four-year-old who's probably smarter than she should be, but we don't care. Drunk Tezuka (what, again?). Girl-time talk. …That's it? Well, it's a relatively short chapter, I suppose.

"I didn't know you guys were coming up here! My parents are staying in one of the cabins. By the way, this is my little sister, Ryomoka! So where are you all staying? How long have you been here? We got here a couple days ago…"

Ryoma rubbed his temples as Tomoka rambled on and on, her arms still around his shoulders. He sent Momo a pleading look, and the older boy immediately pulled him away from her, putting a protective arm around his boyfriend's waist.

"What'd you do that for!" Tomoka demanded, hands on her hips, scowling at Momo.

"Wai!" Ryomoka hugged tightly onto a pair of denim-clad legs, causing a startled yelp from her hug-ee as he fell to the cement, the little girl toppling with him.

Ryomoka laughed as she climbed onto the boy's lap and reached up, stealing the green bandana from his head and placing it on her own.

Kaidoh was too startled to do anything; kids didn't usually like him, and they certainly didn't hug him.

"Ne, ne, Tomo-nee-chan! Who's this?" she asked, bouncing up and down in Kaidoh's lap.

"Eh? That's Kaidoh-sempai," Tomoka said disinterestedly. "Kaidoh Kaoru. Momo-sempai, you're so mean!"

Ryomoka smiled and threw her arms around Kaidoh's neck. "Kaoru-nii-chan!"

Kaidoh looked at Inui desperately. "Inui-sempai…"

"She seems to have taken a liking to you. You wouldn't want to make her cry, would you?"

Kaidoh glared at him and hissed lowly, making Ryomoka giggle.

"Fushuu," she imitated and giggled again. "I like you! You're nice!"

"Fushuu, if you want nice, go to Kikumaru-sempai or Oishi-sempai," Kaidoh mumbled as he stood back up. He set her down on her little tennis shoe clad feet.

"No!" Her pig tails swished as she shook her head. "Kaoru-nii-chan!" She held up her arms for him to pick her up.

"You really shouldn't yell in Ryoma's ears, what if it damages his tennis skills?" Momo bluffed. Ryoma gave him a "wtf?" look.

"What does that have to do with tennis?" Tomoka shouted at him.

"It… it… what if… he goes blind during a match and needs to be able to hear the ball?"

"Like that would ever happen!"

"It happened to Fuji-sempai!"

"Yeah, well, it's not like I'm that loud anyway!"

"Yeah, you are, and you do it pretty much every day, I'd be surprised if he didn't go totally deaf soon!"

Tomoka huffed. "Ryoma-sama doesn't mind, does he?"

Ryoma pulled his cap down over his eyes. "Che…"

"See?"

"He didn't even answer!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

Ryoma sighed and, noticing a Ponta machine across the street, slipped away from the pair.

Kaidoh picked up the little girl and balanced her on his hip. "Happy?"

"Yup!" She snuggled into the tennis player's neck affectionately.

"Haha! Look, your sister's sweet on the snake!" Momo laughed loudly.

"No, Ryomoka!" Tomoka snatched her sister from Kaidoh and pointed at Ryoma, walking back toward them with a can of Ponta. "You like Ryoma-sama!"

Ryomoka began to throw a fit in a volume that made Tomoka's rambles seem like they were whispered.

"Ne, Tomoka-chan," Oishi said, "maybe you should give her back to Kaidoh…"

"But-but-" Tomoka looked from the screaming four-year-old to Kaidoh and back again. She sighed and held her sister out to Kaidoh. "Fine. Take her."

The snakelike boy reluctantly took Ryomoka into his arms. She immediately stopped crying and hooked her arms around Kaidoh's neck. "Kaoru-nii-chan!"

"I suppose this means we'll be spending the day with Tomoka, then," Inui said.

Tomoka and Momo glared daggers at each other.

The group quickly divided into four groups: Inui, Kaidoh, and Ryomoka in front, then Momo, Ryoma, and Tomoka, Fuji, Eiji, and Taka following, and Tezuka and Oishi bringing up the rear. Ryuzaki-sensei had wandered off almost immediately after they'd arrived to shop by herself, claiming that none of them had any shopping sense outside of tennis, besides Fuji.

"Ne, Kaoru-nii-chan, can I come home with you?" Ryomoka asked.

Kaidoh coughed as he choked on his water. "What?"

"I want to go home with you and Haru-nii-chan!"

"No-I don't think that's such a good idea-" Kaidoh stammered. Tears welled in Ryomoka's eyes.

"Kaidoh-sempai, why is Ryomoka crying?" Tomoka demanded, storming toward him.

"I-I didn't-" Kaidoh protested as Tomoka took Ryomoka from him.

"Tomo-nee-chan, I want to go home with Kaoru-nii-chan and Haru-nii-chan!"

"Who's 'Haru-nii-chan'?"

Ryomoka pointed at Inui.

Tomoka scowled. "Why do you want to go with _them?"_

"'Cause Haru-nii-chan promised he'd make me yummy juice!"

Kaidoh turned to Inui angrily. "Inui-sempai!"

"I wasn't going to going to give her anything that would be debilitating. She's only four. What do you take me for?"

Kaidoh frowned. "I'm supervising you."

Inui just smiled and pulled his boyfriend against him, forcing his cheeks into a red color.

"Are Haru-nii-chan and Kaoru-nii-can married?" Ryomoka's eyes got owlish as her sister set her down.

Fuji smiled at the little girl. "No, Ryomoka-chan, but I'm sure Haru-nii-chan has that planned for the future."

"Syuu-nii is so smart!" Ryomoka kissed his cheek with a blush. "Nee-chan, can I please go home with them, please? I don't wanna stay home alone with you and Horio-nii. He's not nice!"

"Your parents trust you and Horio with a small child?" Ryoma gave her a half-scowl.

"Wah, Ryoma-sama, you're so mean!" Tomoka whined.

Ryomoka tugged at her sister's pig tails. " _Please,_ Nee-chan?"

"I don't think Mom and Dad would like it if I sent you home with strangers, Ryo-chan."

"We aren't strangers," Fuji pointed out. "You know us. And we've got an adult to supervise. They've met Ryuzaki-sensei, haven't they?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Come on, just call and ask them, won't you?"

"But-but-" Tomoka sighed. "Fine. But don't get your hopes up. Fuji-sempai, can I borrow your cell phone?"

Ryomoka clapped her hands cutely. "Yay!" she squealed happily.

"Hi, Mom, it's Tomoka."

Fuji smiled and moved back to Eiji and Taka. Eiji pulled his best friend to his chest protectively, scowling at his captain.

Tezuka turned, feeling eyes burning holes in the back of his head, and matched the glare, noting the tensai in Eiji's arms. Oishi followed Tezuka's glare and started his own at what he saw.

Taka-san looked like he very badly wanted to help, but all he could manage was looking back and forth between the four of them.

"Ne, Kaoru-nii-chan," Ryomoka inquired, pulling on Kaidoh's sleeve. "Why are Mitsu-nii and Eiji-nii mad at each other?"

Kaidoh scratched his head, not sure how to word it for the tiny virgin ears. "Well, see… Fuji-sempai got hurt, and Kikumaru-sempai thinks it's Tezuka-buchou's fault."

"Is it?"

"Well… sort of…"

Ryomoka frowned cutely. "Down, please."

Kaidoh blinked. "All right…"

The little girl stomped over to Tezuka, raised her hand, and spanked him. "Bad Mitsu-nii-chan!"

Tezuka's eyes widened and he spun around, hands flying to the assaulted area.

Fuji walked over to her. "Ryomoka-chan, that area is private property."

Tomoka and Kaidoh gaped, and Eiji burst into a fit of laughter. Inui's notebook appeared.

"Oh! Um… yes, Mom, I'm here…" Tomoka walked a few steps away.

"Sorry, Syuu-nii-chan," Ryomoka said, "but Kaoru-nii-chan said that Mitsu-nii hurted you! And when I do bad things, I get a spanking!"

Fuji picked her up. "Now, now, be nice to your nii-chan. He didn't mean to hurt me."

"But… Syuu-nii… how did Mitsu-nii hurt you?"

"Well…" Fuji looked up at Tezuka for help.

"Syusuke and I were wrestling, Ryomoka. And I got a little too rough."

"Nuh-uh!" She pouted and crossed her arms. "You're not my nii-chans anymore! My nii-chans wouldn't lie to me!"

"Ryo-chan!" Tomoka shouted from just a few feet away, "Mom wants to talk to you!"

Fuji and Tezuka blinked, frozen to the spot. Tomoka walked over. "Don't think that just because she's four and innocent, she can't see through a lie." Surprisingly enough, it wasn't said loudly.

"What were we supposed to tell her?" Tezuka asked. "It's not like we could say what really happened."

"Why not? Just tell her it's something grown-ups do and she'll find out when she's older."

Ryomoka bounced back over to them and held the phone out to her sister. She glared at Tezuka and Fuji.

Fuji knelt in front of her. "Ryomoka-chan? Mitsu-nii and I are very sorry. See, we've never been around a little girl before, especially not such a pretty one. So we weren't really sure what to say when you asked what we were doing. The truth is, we were doing very grown-up things that you're much too young to know about."

Wide, innocent green eyes looked up at him. "Grown-up things like Tomo-nee does with Horio-nii?"

"RYOMOKA!"

Fuji fought back a laugh. "Yes, those things."

"Oh. Okay." Ryomoka smiled. "I forgive you!"

Tezuka decided then that Fuji would make a very, very good 'mommy'.

Ryomoka spun around and ran back to Kaidoh. "Kaoru-nii-chan, up!" She was picked up with a gentle hiss.

"There is a seventy-five percent chance that you will leave a lasting impression on her, Kaoru," Inui mumbled into his ear.

Kaidoh hissed as the breath tickled his ear. "S-sempai!"

Tomoka walked over to them with the news.

"Mom says Ryomoka can stay with you," she said to Kaidoh. "But just for tonight. They expect her back by noon tomorrow. I'll call with directions to our cabin."

Ryomoka squeaked happily and buried her face in Kaidoh's shoulder.

"Kaoru-nii-chan… I have to go potty!"

Tomoka grinned and pushed Ryomoka's bag into Inui's hands. "Have fun!" she called as she skipped away.

Fuji's smile was pained. "Ryo-chan… when your daddy takes you out and you have to go potty, which bathroom does he take you in?"

"Um… I dunno…"

Kaidoh looked uncomfortable. "Is there a family restroom?"

"Not that I've seen," Inui said. "It's possible there is one in one of those restaurants, though."

"It doesn't seem right to take her into the men's room…"

"But we can't take her in the ladies' room!"

Eight pairs of eyes went to Fuji.

"What? …No. There's no way I'd get away with it. I'm wearing boy's clothes."

The eyes flickered to Ryoma. He was kid-ish; he could get away with it!

"No."

Everyone turned back to Kaidoh and the squirming girl in his arms.

"There's an eighty-four percent chance you'd get away with it if you kept your head down." Inui smiled sheepishly.

"Kaoru-nii, I really gotta go!"

"I hate you all!" Kaidoh growled. "Where are the bathrooms, Inui-sempai?"

Inui pointed across the street helpfully.

He sighed heavily and quickly ran across the street. When he was sure no one was looking, he ducked his head down and hurried inside the women's restroom.

Kaidoh thanked every god he knew of that there wasn't a line and entered the closest open stall. He put Ryomoka down.

"You don't need me to-pull your pants down, do you?"

She shook her head, so Kaidoh turned around. She may have just been a little girl, but it was still weird. Besides, who wanted someone watching them while they used the bathroom?

"Ugh, I'm having the worst cramps…"

Kaidoh blinked.

"Bad period?"

"It's always this bad the first couple days. And this is when I bleed the heaviest, too."

He shuddered. _I don't want to hear this, I don't want to hear this…_

"Do you have a tampon?"

"Yeah, hold on… here you go!"

"All done, Kaoru-nii-chan!"

"Nii-chan?"

"Is there a guy in here?"

"That sounded like a little girl!"

Kaidoh gulped and was pulled out of the stall by his little charge. "Kaoru-nii-chan, I can't reach."

Kaidoh lifted her up to the sink, head down and face red. "Fushuu…"

"Hey! This is the ladies' room!"

Kaidoh looked up. On one side of him was a tall girl who didn't look happy with him.

"And why are you with this cutie?"

Ryomoka scowled. "Be nice to my Kaoru-nii-chan!"

The other girl knelt in front of Ryomoka. "Little girl, did he touch you in a private place?"

"Huh? No… why would he do that? Kaoru-nii has a boyfriend already!"

There was a pause, and then two loud squeals of "Cuuuute!"

Kaidoh groaned mentally. He got enough of yaoi fangirls and Seigaku.

"I'm sorry," he said, picking Ryomoka up. "But none of us were sure which restroom to take her in…"

"None of you? How many people are with you?"

Great. _Stalker_ yaoi fangirls.

There was a knock at the door. "Kaidoh, Ryomoka, come on!" Eiji's red head poked into the restroom.

Kaidoh had never been happier about the third year's blatant disregard for privacy.

"Cute!" they squealed again.

Once outside, Kaidoh almost immediately tried to merge into Inui's chest. "Fushuu…"

"OMG! There's NINE of them!"

"Yaoi fangirls?" Inui muttered, Kaidoh responding with a shudder.

"So what should we do?" Taka asked.

Ryomoka looked around, Eiji mimicking beside her, before both of them froze. "CANDY!"

"No," Oishi said immediately. "No, Eiji, no candy."

"Aw, Oishi, why not?"

"Because when you eat anything sugary, you get hyper."

Kaidoh was already across the street with Inui and Ryomoka, buying her a sucker.

"Nya, if Ryomoka can have some, why can't I?" Eiji whined. "She's only four! The sugar will affect her way more than me!"

Tezuka held back a snort. There may have been a thirteen year age difference, but maturity-wise, the two were pretty much on the same level.

Eiji nuzzled his boyfriend's neck, making Oishi sigh, torn between contentment and exasperation. "I suppose you can have a little…"

"Thank you, Oishi, nya!" The cat-boy pressed a quick kiss to Oishi's lips and bounced over to Kaidoh and Inui.

"I don't understand it," Tezuka said quietly to his vice-captain. "You and Fuji. Isn't it like having to look after a child?"

Fuji hooked an arm around Oishi's neck and stood on his toes to plant a kiss where Eiji's lips had just been. "Oishi-otou-san," he said, leading the startled boy away.

"Fu-Fuji?"

"We need to get them to stop fighting. May I suggest we play a little game with them?" The tensai's eyes sparkled mischievously.

"I-I don't know about this, Fuji." Oishi tugged at his shirt collar nervously.

"I told you, it's Syusuke!"

"R-right."

They reached a scowling Tezuka, and Fuji said abruptly, "Tezuka, I'm breaking up with you!"

"Ne, Eiji-nii," Ryomoka said as they crossed the street back to the others.

"Yeah, Ryomoka-chan?"

"Why is Syuu-nii hugging Oishi-nii like that? I thought Oishi-nii was your boyfriend!"

The three teenagers looked to Oishi and Fuji. The tensai was currently hugging the vice captain's arm and nuzzling it affectionately, occasionally kissing his cheek.

Eiji stomped over to the pair angrily, looking ready to throw a tantrum. "FUJIKO! What are you doing with MY Oishi, nya?"

"Um… Eiji… I'm… b-breaking up with you…" Oishi mumbled.

Eiji stood frozen to his spot, mouth hanging open in shock, his eyes filling with tears. Oishi immediately felt a pang of regret. He wanted to tell Eiji that he was sorry, that they just wanted to make them stop fighting. He wanted to reach out and pull Eiji into a protective embrace, kiss him, wipe away the tears. He wanted to tell Eiji he loved him, that he was 'his perfect uke match, nya'. But Fuji was attached to his arm, and there was no way he'd get away with it.

"Eiji-nii, what's wrong?" Ryomoka came up beside him and slipped her hand into his.

Without a word, Eiji took of down the strip mall at a full sprint. Teardrops dotted the ground where he had stood.

Oishi pulled Fuji a few feet away from the rest of the group. "Fuji, I don't think this is such a good idea anymore. I hate to see Eiji sad…"

" _I'm_ not any happier about dumping my boyfriend, you know," Fuji said tersely. "But I see this as the easiest way to get them back on speaking terms. Don't worry, Oishi, Eiji's quick to forgive, and he's never been able to stay mad at you for very long."

Oishi frowned doubtfully. He wasn't sure how Tezuka could handle Fuji and his games.

"Momoshiro, Echizen," Tezuka said harshly. "Go find Kikumaru and bring him back here."

"Um… Buchou…" Momo started hesitantly, "maybe we should leave Eiji-sempai alone for a little while…"

"NOW!"

"Y-yes, Buchou!" The pair took off down the street after Eiji.

"N-ne, Buchou," Taka said. "I think they're right. Eiji needs some time to-"

"We're going back to the cabin. I'll go find Ryuzaki-sensei. You stay here with the lovebirds." Tezuka stormed off, rage blurring his vision. There was just. No. Way. Fuji would not end their three-year relationship, nor his six-year relationship with Kikumaru, for a whim. No, this was some sort of game, but Fuji was pushing it _way_ too far.

Eiji had ducked into a pet shop a ways down the street. He'd gone straight to the kittens. That was where Momo and Ryoma found him a few minutes later, amongst kittens and a few of the teenaged interns who worked there.

"Eiji-sempai, Buchou says we're going back to the cabin now." Momo smiled tentatively.

Ryoma came into the shop and helped him collect their sempai. They met back up with the rest of the group and drove back to the cabin.

Ryomoka kicked Fuji in the shins when they reached the cabin for hurting her Eiji-nii. Currently, the two of them were cuddled up with Kaidoh, who had been dragged upstairs but the two of them as soon as they reached the cabin.

Eiji's head was buried in Kaidoh's shoulder. "I don't understand," he sobbed. Ryomoka patted his arm. "We've been together for five years! He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever! Why would he drop me for Fuji?"

"You know Fuji-sempai," Kaidoh said, trying to be soothing. "It's probably just one of his stupid pranks."

"But why would Oishi go along with it?"

Kaidoh shrugged. "Because Fuji-sempai would kill him otherwise?"

Eiji considered this for a moment, then shook his head. "You're sweet, Kaoru-chan, but don't get my hopes up. I just have to get over Oishi, find someone new." He lifted his head then, slowly, an uncharacteristically evil smile coming to his face. "And I know just who it should be."

In his own room, Tezuka sneezed.

It seemed that not just Ryomoka was mad at Oishi and Fuji. Everyone refused to speak to them; even Ryuzaki-sensei had given them a mean look before retiring to her bedroom.

"BUCHOU!"

Tezuka was so shocked by Eiji barging into his room-though, he reflected later, he really shouldn't have been-that he forgot to remove himself from Eiji's pounce path. A moment later he was pushed into a laying position on his bed, Eiji sitting on his torso.

"What are you doing in my room, Kikumaru?" Tezuka asked through gritted teeth.

"Well… I figured we could mope together, nya. After all, we're both hurting and angry, right?"

Tezuka nodded slowly. Denying it was pointless, no matter how much he would have liked to.

Eiji pulled a bottle of sake from behind his back. "Pity party!"

Three bottles of sake and an hour later, Eiji was purring as he kneaded Tezuka's chest, the captain's hands resting comfortably on Eiji's backside.

"Ne, Buchou," Eiji murmured, nuzzling Tezuka's neck, "what do you say we get back at Oishi and Fuji…?"

Tezuka's "I agree" was cut off as Eiji's lips met his.

"Tezuka! I'm just getting my things, Oishi and I are-Tezuka?"

Tezuka and Eiji looked up to see Fuji in the doorway, shock evident on his face. It was soon replaced with his usual smile. "Sorry to interrupt. I'm just getting my stuff. Have fun."

Eiji looked down sadly and cuddled against Tezuka's side. Tezuka drew the blankets around them.

On the other side of the door, Fuji shook with anger, a single tear slipping down his cheek.

As Oishi walked up to him, the tensai shoved him into the wall and kissed him roughly. "If you want to be the one to take Eiji's virginity, I suggest you go get him away from Tezuka."

Oishi blinked. "What?"

Fuji wiped away his tears impatiently. "Tezuka and Eiji are _together._ In there." He pointed to his bedroom door.

"Together as in…"

Fuji nodded.

"What exactly-"

"They're both fully dressed, but Tezuka looked quite content with his hands on Eiji's ass."

Oishi's eyes widened impossibly. He kicked open the door to find Eiji, _his_ Eiji, snuggled against Tezuka.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" he demanded angrily.

"Oishi!" Eiji squeaked, diving underneath the blanket.

Tezuka glared daggers at the vice-captain. "You gave up your rights as his boyfriend when you dumped him for mine."

Oishi gave the lump in the bed that was Eiji a desperate look. "Eiji… there's nothing going on between Fuji and me."

The top of the acrobat's head appeared, as well as two dark blue eyes.

"It was just one of Fuji's schemes… he wanted you two to stop fighting…"

The blankets were at Eiji's chin now. "Nya, why didn't you tell Fuji no?" he asked suspiciously.

"Well… it's Fuji. I figured it was go along with it or die." Oishi sat next to Eiji on the bed. "I'm really sorry, Eiji. I wanted to take it back as soon as I did it. I love you."

Eiji looked at him for a moment before launching himself into Oishi's arms. "You big DUMMY, Oishi!" he yelled at Oishi's chest, soaking the front of his shirt with tears.

"I'm so sorry, Eiji," Oishi said, holding the redhead close. "I really love you. More than anything."

"Then why can't we have sex?" Eiji whined.

Fuji's soft laugh reached their ears as the bed dipped. "Only you, Eiji," Fuji said from beside Tezuka. "He hasn't even asked you on a date yet and you're already jumping his bones."

"Nya, shut up, Fujiko!" Eiji pouted at the tensai.

Oishi shook his head and picked up Eiji before leaving the room. "Do you _really_ want to, Eiji?"

Eiji nodded earnestly.

"But Eiji… you're upset with me… I just…" Oishi flushed. "I don't want you to look back and wish we'd waited."

Eiji sighed. Oishi, I'd _never_ regret it, not with you."

"But it's supposed to be… special, and…"

"Tezuka and Fuji's first time was in the locker room."

"Well, still-wait. The locker room? Where?"

"Um-up against Tezuka's locker. What's it matter? The point is, it doesn't matter where we are or whatever, nya. Our first time will be super special because it's with each other."

Oishi blushed darkly. "You must think I'm a horrible seme," he whispered into the acrobat's ear. "I'm supposed to be reassuring you."

Eiji giggled, shaking his head.

"What's so funny?" Oishi asked, puzzled.

Eiji pointed over Oishi's shoulder, his other hand covering his mouth. Oishi turned to see Momo, Ryoma, Inui, and Ryomoka watching them through their cracked bedroom door.

Oishi flushed again.

Meanwhile, Tezuka and Fuji were still in the bedroom, Fuji getting the scolding of his life.

"You took this _way_ too far, Fuji. There was no need to go to such lengths. Kikumaru was deeply hurt-"

"You were about to hurt him pretty deeply-"

"Stop that. What went on between Kikumaru and myself is frankly none of your business. The both of us, for all intents and purposes, were single."

"Oh, _please._ You _knew_ what was going on, I _know_ you."

"And you knew I'd know, so what was the point?"

"Well, you and Eiji are certainly back on friendly terms," the tensai said bitterly.

"Fuji, when you mess around with others' feelings, you have to be prepared for your own to get hurt. You can't let your guard down."

"Fine. But if you knew about this setup, why did you let Eiji climb all over you?"

"I did the same thing for you after Saeki, didn't I?" Tezuka glared down at his reinstated boyfriend, knowing what his reaction would be to this statement.

Fuji looked at him in shock for a minute, and then his eyes welled with tears. Tezuka sighed and pulled the petite brunette into his arms.

Inui and Ryomoka were crouching outside the door, Kaidoh standing nearby giving them disapproving looks.

"Ii data."

"You're a bad influence on her," Kaidoh reprimanded quietly, not wanting to alert Tezuka and Fuji to their presence. He knelt beside the four-year-old. "Ryomoka, it's not okay to listen in on other people's-wait. Did Buchou just say something about Saeki? Does he have a death wish?"

Inui smirked. "What were you saying about eavesdropping, Kaoru?"

"Shut up, Sempai."

Taka and Ryuzaki-sensei were sitting in the kitchen at the table, drinking tea.

"Kawamura," Ryuzaki began conversationally, "there's always a lot of drama going on with them, isn't there?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Why don't _you_ give me headaches like the rest of them?"

"…I'm not sure. I can try harder. Maybe it's because I'm straight…?"

"That's possible. Doesn't it bother you, being the only straight one?"

"Not really."

"But all your best friends are gay. You can't talk to any of them about girls."

"Oh, I talk to Sakuno about girls."

"… _What?"_

"You didn't… know?"

"No. No, I didn't."

"Oh. Well. You-you do now."

"Has she… dated anyone?"

"…Tomoka, for a short while."

"But isn't she with Horio?"

"She's bi."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

He couldn't be sure, but Taka thought this was probably the most awkward conversation he'd ever had. Even more awkward than when Fuji'd told him about his and Tezuka's sex life.

But then again, Fuji did that a lot.

A/N: Um, yeah. Crack. I know, it was kinda like, "WTF?" but. Like we said, it's crack. Utter crack. How did you all like our random four-year-old OC? She's cute, ne? She seems cute at least, right? (We make this up as we go along, and I refuse to take anything big out after it's been put in, and she just kind of randomly popped in, and we love her.) And now we want to give you a little line from the next chapter (No, it is not typed. It is just awesome enough to remember!) "and there is Stuff _dripping_ from me!"


	4. There is STUFF dripping from me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4— There is STUFF _dripping_ from me!

Chapter 4— There is STUFF _dripping_ from me!

Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait. We are… lazy. We also live in different cities and have no motivation to do anything unless we're together, which isn't very often. …Or we're just useless. Whichever is a better excuse.

Warnings: Molestation of the team mascot (AKA Ryoma), molestation of others, cross dressing (seriously, it's in almost EVERY CHAPTER), Tezuka being a little OOC and childish, ninja!Ryoma, and there was something else we wanted to put here but I don't remember what it was.

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis would not have been on Cartoon Network if we owned it. It would have too much pr0n…

Tezuka sighed and pulled his boyfriend up from the floor. Fuji buried his face in the captain's chest and clenched his fingers in his shirt as it absorbed his tears.

"I'm sorry, Mitsu." The reply was muffled.

"Sorry means you won't do it again, Syusuke."

Fuji shook his head and allowed himself to be laid onto the bed. The taller brunette joined him with gentle hands and words that placated the distraught tensai.

"I hadn't thought it'd turn out quite like that, though," Fuji mused, raising his arms so Tezuka could pull his shirt over his head. He made a noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan as Tezuka suckled at his neck. "Eiji's a good kisser, ne?"

Tezuka narrowed his eyes. "And how would you know that?"

Fuji smiled and cocked his head to the side. "Saa..."

If Oishi had his way, he would have barricaded the door, because really, there was a four-year-old girl in the house, and she probably hadn't quite learned about knocking yet, and he really, really did not want her to come in and see them.

Why they had to do this now, why they couldn't wait until they got back from vacation, was completely beyond Oishi. He'd much rather be in his house where his mother rarely bothered them and his sister was old enough to know not to barge in when Eiji was over. At least there, there were only three people in the house who could hear them, whereas here they were with eight other people, and it just seemed like a bad idea.

But Eiji was currently stripping off his clothes at lightning speed, and Oishi figured that all thought would leave his brain in about ten seconds, so he settled for locking the door and prayed to every god he knew of that Inui or Fuji wouldn't pick the lock.

"You're not getting away with that as an answer, Syusuke..." Tezuka nipped at the slender neck.

"M-mitsu!" Fuji struggled to get the name out as Tezuka rolled his hips down.

"How do you know how well Kikumaru can kiss?"

"No!" Fuji shook his head in protest.

Tezuka smirked. "Jetzt." Fuji moaned. He loved when Tezuka spoke to him in German. He made a noise, signaling his unwillingness to comply, as teeth scraped his nipple. "Jetzt Syusuke..." The tone left no room to disobey.

"I taught him..." Fuji stammered out as his brunette lover continued to reduce him to a puddle of over-stimulated goo.

"When did you do that?" Tezuka pulled away from his position close to Fuji's body to look him in the eyes.

"The day before his first date with Oishi...?" He asked if that would be an acceptable answer with his tone.

"And you never told me?" Their first date had been just days after Tezuka and Fuji had announced themselves to the team.

"No, I thought you'd be angry..." Fuji felt stupid in his reasoning now. When he saw the disapproving looking the captain was giving him he continued, "Mitsu, he was so scared and nervous, and he didn't want to embarrass himself because Oishi had kissed people, and he hadn't...You would have done the same thing if you had seen him. He was so adorably nervous, Mitsu..." Fuji got a rather goofy smile on his face remembering the event. "It was innocent, anyway. I just got him started. He's quite talented on his own."

Tezuka narrowed his eyes and nipped at Fuji's neck again.

Oishi lay in bed, Eiji curled against his side, staring at the ceiling.

He'd thought about sex before, obviously-he and Eiji had experimented a lot, with hands and tongues and all manner of toys, but actual sex had always seemed a step too far. Something they should put off until they were older, but now that argument seemed so stupid because they were practically adults and they'd been together for four years.

And gods, it had been good.

It wasn't supposed to have been, he thought, but then again they'd been playing around for ages and knew what they were doing, for the most part.

If he hadn't been so exhausted, he would have asked Eiji if he wanted to do it again. He rolled to his side and tucked Eiji's head under his chin, letting himself join the little acrobat in slumber.

"So is she dating anyone now?" Ryuzaki tried to break the blanket of silence.

"Yes..." Taka-san wasn't too sure she'd be happy to know exactly who her granddaughter was dating.

"Who?"

"Yumiko-san..." Taka felt himself shrink back a bit.

"Oh... Does my son know?" Ryuzaki tried to smother her apprehension.

"I do believe they both know..." Taka felt himself begin to turn red. This was so awkward.

"Hm... Well, at least I never have to worry about her being hurt!" Ryuzaki smiled.

Taka-san supposed this was true; all three of the Fuji siblings were ruthless when it came to protecting the things they claimed 'theirs'. "But, you're really okay with it? I mean, Yumiko-san is so much older than Sakuno..."

"Well, yes, that's weird for me, but Sakuno's almost sixteen, and she's old enough to make her own decisions. Besides, I'm sure Fuji would have said something to her if he thought something improper was going on."

"Fuji doesn't think anything is improper..."

"I don't want to be uke!"

"Echizeeeeen! Stop being so stubborn! Inui-senpai, Fuji-senpai, and the Mamushi all said you should be uke! Just deal with it!"

"No! Since when do you agree with Kaidoh-senpai, anyway?"

"Since he was actually right about something for once!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was-"

Would you two SHUT UP?" Fuji's voice yelled from the room next door. "You are RUINING my post-coital bliss!"

"Echizen won't be uke though, Fuji-sempai!" Momo dared to shout back.

They heard annoyed footsteps before Fuji barged into their room. Somehow the tensai still managed to look threatening when he was tired and his hair was sex-mussed. Tezuka's shirt was just long enough to cover all the necessary bits. Anyone else trying to look annoyed in such a state would have been cute instead of scary.

"Momo, get out. Echizen and I are going to have a little talk." Fuji started towards the bed. Momo was quick to scamper out of the room. "Now, Ryoma, why are you scared to be the uke?"

Ryoma looked down with a scowl. Red dusted his nose and cheeks.

"Oh, I see. You think it's going to hurt, don't you?"

Ryoma's scowl deepened.

"Do you really think if it hurt that much, I'd be the uke in mine and Tezuka's relationship? Or what about Eiji? We all know he has no pain tolerance..."

Ryoma turned himself away from the amused tensai.

Fuji sighed. He was just going to have to show the stubborn little uke.

"Do you know how much they've... done, then?" Ryuzaki asked, looking like she really didn't want an answer.

"I... don't think that's... no, I don't know."

"Are you lying to me?"

"...Maybe?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Then they've gone much further than I want to think about."

"Probably..."

Fuji plopped down on the bed next to Ryoma. "It's not really that bad, you know... Even the first time, if he does it right, it won't hurt as much as you think it will."

Ryoma just glared at the tensai.

"Would you like me to show you?"

"F-Fuji-senpai!"

"Oh, that's not what I meant. Well, not exactly. Take off your clothes."

Ryoma gave Fuji a suspicious look. "Why?"

"I'm going to show you exactly what's so great about being an uke. Take off your clothes."

"But-"

"Ryoma. Do it."

Ryoma bit his lip but climbed off the bed and slowly started to remove his clothes, his back to Fuji. "Now what?" he asked, attempting to cover himself as he turned around.

"Now, I want you to sit in front of me, facing me." Ryoma complied, and Fuji fished a small tube of lube out of the pocket of Tezuka's shirt.

"Wh-what are you going to do with that?" Ryoma asked nervously. Fuji ignored him and coated his fingers with the slippery substance.

"Just close your eyes, Ryoma."

He complied.

Fuji pulled Ryoma so that the younger boy was straddling the his lap. The hand that wasn't covered in lube hooked under a slender arm to cup the back of the littler prodigy's neck and head. The other hand was busy sliding a long deft finger into Ryoma, making him squirm.

The bronze eyes snapped open and a scowl once again marred his face at the challenging smirk resting on his sempai's lips. He didn't protest, in acceptance of the challenge, and instead lightly gripped Fuji's shoulders to steady himself. Fuji slipped another digit in and began to scissor. It was soon followed by a third, and then he began his search. He knew about where it should be... Ah, there! Ryoma's face twisted in pleasure at the light brush of his prostate. He let that shock of pleasure wear down a bit before stroking the little nub fully.

"AH! FUJI-SEMPAI!" Ryoma shouted as his grip tightened and a wave of pleasure went straight to his groin.

Fuji removed his fingers and smirked. "Now see? That wasn't that bad. And now Momo-chan doesn't even need to prep you. It won't actually hurt until you wake up after the fact." Fuji patted his head and left the room. Momo, who was waiting out in the hall, gave him an inquisitive look to which he replied, "He's all yours."

"Syusuke, what did you do?"

"Just showed him the wonders of being an uke." The tensai stripped off his—well, Tezuka's-shirt and was in the process of slipping back under the covers when a monotone voice said, "There is a ninety four percent chance he molested Echizen, a two percent chance that they had sex, and a four percent chance that Fuji merely talked-" Fuji served a tennis ball into Inui's head.

"I don't think we'll be able to continue our cuddling, Mitsu..." Fuji sighed and grabbed his boxers off the floor. Tezuka groaned in dislike of the idea but followed his uke in getting dressed. They headed for the kitchen for some tea.

"I don't know if I like this all of the sudden..." Ryuzaki's fingers twitched around her teacup.

"Don't worry about it too much, sensei. She really cares about Sakuno-chan." He smiled, particularly at one memory of the oldest Fuji sibling dragging a protesting Sakuno to their practice. "You should have seen her yell at Echizen when she found out how he'd hurt Sakuno-chan's feelings back in middle school. Fujiko began yelling at her for yelling at Echizen. Tezuka called Yuuta-kun to come break it up, but when he arrived they both screamed at him to shut up because he was with 'that stupid Mituli guy.' It was rather funny." Taka smiled brightly at the amused look on Ryuzaki's face.

"Hm, I don't quite understand how it was funny, Taka-san..." They turned to look at the tensai as he entered the room.

"Echizen?" Momo said cautiously, stepping into the room. Ryoma was on the bed, naked (to Momo's mixed excitement and horror), his face scarlet.

"M-Momo-sempai..." the freshman started, his bangs covering his eyes and his hands fidgeting in his lap.

"Yeah?"

"I-I guess... I'll be the uke."

Momo's eyes widened, and then he grinned. "Really?"

Ryoma nodded.

"What exactly did Fuji-sempai do to you, anyway?"

"N-nothing..."

"Ah, Fujiko," Taka-san greeted, laughing nervously, "Buchou. Hello."

"You have a little sister, Taka-san. Don't you understand what it's like, wanting to protect them from people who are just going to hurt them?" Fuji demanded.

"Ah, well, my sister is a little young to be dating, so I don't really understand what it's like with Yuuta-kun..." Taka answered sheepishly.

Ryoma's eyelids drooped as he rolled away from the larger form that had crashed on top of him.

Momo, unhappy that he'd lost his personal teddy bear, placed a large hand around Ryoma and pulled him back against his chest. Ryoma's face burned red as the half-asleep seme cuddled him and nuzzled his neck. He scrambled to get away from the strong arm around him.

"Quit it, Ryoma..." Momo mumbled, nudging him lightly with his foot in reprimand.

"Let. Go," Ryoma growled.

Momo pushed himself up and tried to look Ryoma in the eyes. The little freshman was being a _brat_... _again_.

"Let me go Momo-sempai!"

"Geez, we just had sex! You could at least call me by my first name!" Momo's previously annoyed look turned into a pout, "You're supposed to be all happy and sated right now..."

"Tch..." Ryoma scooted to the edge of the bed and pulled the blankets completely over himself.

Momo crawled over top of the smaller boy. "Ryoma..."

Ryoma burst from the blankets and shoved Momo off of him, only to disappear back under the fabric. Momo's head cracked against the footboard. "OW! Fuck!" Momo rubbed his, now throbbing, head. "What is your problem!"

Ryoma sat up. "Are you okay?"

"No! We just had awesome sex and now you're pissed off! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What's _wrong_ with me?I can't play tennis out here, you keep calling me by my first name, Fuji-sempai put his fingers in places they shouldn't be, and I'm sore and tired and there is STUFF _dripping_ from me!" Ryoma growled at his sempai.

Kaidoh held down his laughter as Ryomoka twirled more bandages around Inui. They had dragged the analyst into his proper bedroom after discovering him passed out on the floor of the master bedroom, Tezuka and Fuji's.

"You have to go now, Kaoru-nii-chan, visiting hours are over!" She made a shooing motion with her hands before using a butterfly clip to secure the white gauze that shrouded the analyst's body.

"Okay." His eyes flicked to Inui's glass-masked ones mischievously. "You take good care of Haru-nii." Kaidoh left the room and trotted downstairs to get a glass of water.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to involve yourself in your brother's affairs, Fuji?" Ryuuzaki-sensei asked.

"Of course it is. Kaidoh, you'd involve yourself in Hazue's relationships if they were abusive, wouldn't you?" Fuji asked sweetly as he spotted his kohai.

 _Sempai, the worst thing that could happen is Mizuki-san could replace everything Yuuta-kun owned with its' purple clone,_ Kaidoh thought. When it came out of his mouth it was a much shorter, "Hai, Fuji-sempai."

"Fuji, Mizuki doesn't abuse Yuuta," Tezuka argued.

"He consciously pushed Yuuta's arm way past its limit just so he could beat Echizen, and it could have completely destroyed his arm. If that's not abuse-"

"That was three years ago."

"Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'A zebra can't change his stripes', Tezuka?"

Tezuka sighed. Honestly, Fuji had to be the most stubborn person he'd ever met in his life. "Perhaps Yuuta wants to be with Mizuki."

"You don't understand, you don't have younger siblings. It's not about what he wants, it's about what's best for him."

"He can decide that for himself, Fuji, he's sixteen years old."

Taka stood up hesitantly and made his way toward the pair to stop the argument, but the double glare he received was enough to stop him in his tracks.

"Fuji, now do you really think that's fair to Yuuta? You were well into a relationship with Tezuka at that point were you not?" Ryuzaki sensei stepped in when Taka-san couldn't.

"Yuuta's different," the tensai quipped in a sad attempt at defense.

"No, you're just stubborn," Tezuka muttered.

Momo and Ryoma came barreling down the stairs at that moment. Kaidoh took his water and headed back upstairs to check on Osakada-sensei.

"Oishi, quit moving!" Eiji kicked the other boy slightly. A few minutes later, his pillow, Oishi, moved again. "Oishi, cut it out, nya~!"

A giggle cut through his mental fog. "Are you sure Syuu-nii won't mind us using his camera?"

"Shh," Inui's voice said. "They'll hear you. I must teach you stealth, Ryomoka-chan."

"Like ninjas?"

"That's right."

"Cool."

Eiji was awake instantly. "Inui! What are you doing!"

Inui smirked and held up Fuji's camera. "Why, I'm teaching Ryomoka-chan the fine art of blackmail."

"Momo-chan, why is Ryoma-kun flushed? You couldn't have been running that hard." Fuji surveyed the boys.

"Um...lack of oxygen? We are in the mountains, Fuji-sempai," Momo scrambled for his half-assed answer.

Fuji smirked. Momo was a very bad liar. "No, I don't think that's it," the tensai said conversationally. "Was it something you two may have been doing, perhaps?"

"Doing? N-no!" Momo said, his voice unusually high. Ryoma pulled his cap down over his eyes.

"I don't know, Momo. You weren't, say, molesting our favorite kohai, were you?"

Momo stammered something unintelligible.

Ryoma looked at Momo as if he'd asked for a death wish, having heard something along the lines of 'stupid sempai.' He scooted himself towards the table, where a half-full Ponta can he had earlier abandoned awaited him.

"Well Echizen, was he?" Fuji's semi-sweet voice froze the boy just before he could pick up the can.

"Mada mada dane." He regained his composure quickly enough to at least mutter out his catch phrase.

"Hnnnn, that's too bad, Momo-chan. All that pent up sexual energy." Fuji waved a hand over his shoulder flippantly as he turned to pour the now hot water into his and Tezuka's tea cups.

"Get out!" Eiji yelled, quite red in the face, whether from anger or embarrassment it was hard to tell. Inui swooped Ryomoka up and left quickly. He'd seen the acrobat mad a few times and he didn't want to be around during the aftermath.

Oishi opened his eyes and pulled the redhead down against him for a hug, knowing he was upset now. It wasn't the best way to come out of sex induced sleep, especially when it had been their first time.

"Leave them alone, Fuji," Tezuka scolded.

"I was just teasing them," Fuji defended cheerfully. "I'm really happy for them, actually. We all know they get the least action of everyone on the team."

Momo flushed. "Fuji-sempai, just because _you're_ a sex maniac..."

The tensai's eyes flashed dangerously, and Momo immediately regretted saying it. Oh, how he wished he had a time machine...

Eiji snuggled into Oishi's embrace. "Nya, Inui's a big jerk," he mumbled grumpily. "How would he feel if someone just came in and started taking pictures of him and Kaidoh after they..." The acrobat's cheeks reddened and he found he couldn't bring himself to say it. "Especially when he knows it was the first time."

Oishi stroked Eiji's hair, attempting to calm the fuming redhead down. "Well, it's better than walking in during it."

"Nya, I guess so…I just was really looking forward to waking up in Oishi's arms, not to Fujiko's camera…" Eiji nuzzled Oishi's neck in a cat-like manner. Oishi's fingers wandered down the other boy's back soothingly.

The next morning, Tezuka and Taka were up before the rest of the household. They were having a calm conversation when they heard light footsteps. The rest of the house was soon to wake after Ryomoka came out of the golden and emerald pairs' room and shouted "Good morning!" loudly. Most of the regulars had gathered in the kitchen when a yelp and thudding came from the stairs.

Reluctantly Tezuka got up. Whatever had happened, it was Fuji's fault. The only other person not congregated at the table was Kaidoh, and he wouldn't have done anything to cause trouble, not when he wasn't with Momoshiro anyway.

Tezuka reached the bottom of the stairs. Kaidoh was a few steps from the bottom, clutching the railing for dear life. Fuji stood near the top; a strained smile let the captain know the tensai knew he was in trouble.

"I really didn't mean to make him fall, Mitsu. How was I to know Kaoru was averse to being hugged?"

Tezuka grunted as he surveyed the littler brunette. He was in yet another of his…costumes, but Tezuka had to admit Fuji looked _smashing_ in leather.

Kaidoh frowned. Fuji definitely did not _just_ hug him! He had… _touched_ him, in places he really wasn't comfortable with _anyone_ besides Inuitouching him!

"What did you do to him, Fuji?" Tezuka asked, trying his best to ignore the tensai's head-to-toe leather dominatrix costume. Fuji smiled, idly swinging his whip in circles.

"I'm just living up to my reputation, Mitsu," he said sweetly, sauntering down the stairs. He stood on his tiptoes to press a soft kiss to Tezuka's cheek, then continued on into the kitchen.

Tezuka sighed and held a hand out to Kaidoh, who took it and let Tezuka pull him up, blushing. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Er… not as such, Buchou," Kaidoh said, embarrassed. "Just… well, he's wearing that outfit on for a reason."

"F-Fuji-sempai?"

Fuji smiled seductively at Momo, who was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, his fork halfway to his mouth, and draped his arms around his kohai's shoulders. "Good morning, Momo-chan," he said, nuzzling Momo's cheek.

Momo blinked. "Um. F-Fuji-sempai, what're you—"

"Just living up to my reputation as a sex maniac, Takeshi~!" A hand ran down the second year's chest.

Momo yelped loudly, much like Kaidoh had only moments ago, and jerked his chair back. Fuji stepped out of the way smoothly and turned away with a coy wink.

The tensai was about to grab the back of Eiji's t-shirt when Tezuka caught his wrist.

"Stop it, Fuji." Tezuka ground out. Fuji frowned and tried to pull his arm out of Tezuka's grasp. Tezuka did not relinquish his grip. "I'm serious. Stop it." He let go.

Fuji whirled around and marched up the stairs, being just as dramatic as usual.

"Ne, Buchou, it must be terrible to be on Fujiko's bad side all the time…" Eiji had turned around in time to see Fuji start walking away from his boyfriend.

 _No more terrible than getting on Inui's bad side,_ Tezuka mentally quipped.

"Haru-nii, what'd Syu-nii do?" Ryomoka asked from her place on the analyst's lap.

"He did things to Kaoru-chan that only I should do," Inui explained vaguely, tightening the arm that was wound around Kaidoh's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Ryomoka-chan," Kaidoh mumbled.

"What did he do, Mamushi?" Momo asked.

Kaidoh glared at him and hissed, "Worse than what he did to you..."

"Kaoru-nii, do you think Mommy and Daddy will let me stay with you longer?"

Kaidoh patted her head. "I hope so. We'll find out soon."

If he was being completely honest, Fuji loved when Tezuka was angry with him. Because while Tezuka was a very stubborn person, particularly when he was upset, Fuji knew exactly how to get him in bed during these times, and angry sex was probably the best type of sex he and Tezuka had ever had, apart from make-up sex. There was something about being yelled at in German that made it really kinky. Like he was doing Hitler or something.

Now, however, Tezuka was not being very easily persuaded at all. He'd spent the last half-hour doing everything he could think of to get Tezuka to give it up, and it just wasn't working. In fact, Tezuka hadn't spoken a word to him since he'd got done ranting about Fuji acting so slutty.

"Mou, Mitsu, the silent treatment is so childish!" Fuji whined, seating himself in Tezuka's lap. Tezuka ignored him, crossing his hands over his chest.

-

"Ne, Ryomoka-chan, why are you so attached to the snake?" Momo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Ryomoka shrugged and hugged Kaidoh tightly. "Kaoru-nii-chan is nice, even though you think he's mean and grumpy, Momo-nii..."

Kaidoh blushed and slowly wrapped his arms around the pig-tailed form to return the hug. "Fushuuuuu..."

-

Tezuka pushed Fuji off his lap roughly before grabbing his wrist and leading him towards the door.

"Ittai, Mitsu-chan, that hurt," Fuji pouted as he let himself be dragged down the stairs.

Tezuka spun around unexpectedly, and Fuji ran into him. "Syusuke..." He couldn't finish. His hand let go of Fuji's and he continued walking down the stairs.

Fuji's eyes opened and mild confusion flickered through them. "Mitsu-chan, what?" He ran down the stairs after his boyfriend, pausing only to tug his shoes on at the door. "Kunimitsu!" He managed to catch up and snag Tezuka's hand about halfway to the cars. "Kunimitsu, what were you going to say?"

"Why should I tell you?" He whirled on his smaller companion. "It hurts me every time you flirt with our teammates, Syusuke!" He glared into clear blue eyes and punctuated each word with a jab of his finger to the uke's chest.

Fuji's eyes were wide-open in shock. "I... I don't mean to-"

"You know it bothers me, yet you continue to do it constantly, and what you did with Echizen was just too far-"

"Kunimitsu... it's just for fun, you know that." Fuji gave him a desperate look. "Of course I'm not interested in any of them like that."

Tezuka closed his eyes for a moment, trying to keep his temper under control. Finally he said, "You shouldn't have to do that with them to have fun. I..." He flushed, knowing this was a completely un-Tezuka thing to say. "I should be all you need."

"Kunimitsu, I-I'm sorry..." Fuji wrapped his arms around Tezuka's waist. "I love you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

Tezuka resisted the strong urge he had to hold the tensai. "Go change, Syusuke, unless you want to meet the Osakadas in leather."

Fuji looked down at his outfit. "Ah, I suppose I should..." He looked down in a depressed and ashamed manner before walking back into the house with as much poise as he could muster.

Tezuka slipped into Ryuzaki-sensei's car and leaned back to put his head against the head rest, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.

"Buchou, Fujiko-chan doesn't do it on purpose, you know." Eiji peered up at him through red bangs.

Tezuka quirked an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. He silently wondered what light the acrobat could shed on the situation.

"It's your fault too. You're not really what anyone would call affectionate towards him. He just wants your attention..." Eiji trailed off, and Oishi picked up from the front seat.

"He really loves you, Tezuka, and he wants you to show everyone that you love him too." Oishi smiled at him amicably.

Tezuka mulled the information over for a moment, reminding himself what usually happened when Oishi gave advice, before his thoughts were interrupted. Fuji opened the car door and slipped in next to Tezuka. He had his side pressed against the wall of the car so as to not touch Tezuka. He wasn't sure if any contact would be wanted at the moment.

"Fujiko, why are you dressed like a girl again?" Eiji leaned forward to look at his best friend.

"I don't know if the Osakadas would appreciate having their little girl stay with a bunch of teenaged boys. If there's one teenaged 'girl' then they should be less wary," Fuji said, staring at his lap quietly. He felt the redhead's stare on him and began to tug at the hem of his teal Seigaku skirt.

Tezuka sighed. He didn't want to see Fuji so sad, and even less did he want to be the cause of it. Fuji's voice sounded in his head: "I love you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

Fuji looked so dejected, and Tezuka hated himself for feeling guilty about it. Fuji had been crossing lines ever since they'd gotten together at the end of their third year, and Tezuka had rarely actually done anything about it, but now Fuji had just taken things too far, and he deserved to be punished, didn't he?

Still, Oishi and Kikumaru were right about one thing. He'd never been very affectionate with Fuji, except during sex, and that just further proved how insensitive he'd always been with his boyfriend, always acting like sex was all he was interested in.

Making up his mind, Tezuka put his arm around Fuji and tugged the brunette to his side, pressing a kiss to his temple. Fuji glanced up at Tezuka, surprise clearly written on his face. At the small smile Tezuka gave him, he grinned widely and snuggled into the embrace.

Oishi and Kikumaru smiled at each other. Synchro could be useful outside of tennis too.

"I don't like the idea of them thinking you're a girl, Syusuke," Tezuka whispered into the honey-brown hair.

"For Ryomoka, Tezuka," Fuji chided.

Tezuka frowned at the use of his sir-name-that would have to be fixed. "I like you better as a boy."

"Tezuka..."

"What about when Ryomoka calls you Syu- _nii_?"

"Hn!" Fuji grunted as Tezuka's lips touched his ear.

Tezuka pulled away from the mass of over-stimulated nerves known as his boyfriend. He couldn't help that the tensai was so sensitive, could he?

"How come Syu-nii is wearing an outfit like Tomo-nee's?" Ryomoka asked.

"I don't know, Ryomoka-chan, but you should probably call your Syu-nii 'Syu-nee' for now..." Momo snickered.

"There's a seventy-five percent chance Tezuka is unhappy with his wardrobe choice," Inui said. Behind his glasses his green eyes were bright with anger. He was still mad at the tensai.

"Inui-sempai," Kaidoh said, "don't be too mad at Fuji-sempai."

Inui frowned at his kohai. "Kaoru, what he did to you-"

"Wasn't all that terrible. He's already upset because of Buchou as it is, don't make him feel worse."

"He deserves it," Inui muttered.

~TBC~

A/N: Um, all right, so, we have an explanation as to why this chapter sort of doesn't make a whole lot of sense, though it's not a very good one. You see, as you know, the chapters of this that were saved on my computer were deleted some time ago, and because we are lazy, horrible people, we didn't want to take the time to rewrite the whole scene we lost, so it's about two pages shorter than it was, and now it seems all discombobulated and whatnot. So sorry about that random time skip business there in the middle. We forgot hat happened that night, and we're too uncreative and lazy to come up with something better. (Scarlet: In short, DO NOT USE THE GEEK SQUAD THEY DELETE SHIT OFF YOUR COMPUTER!)

Other note: That German word Tezuka says up there, Jetzt, means now in English….demanding isn't he? ^ ^


	5. Mommy Fuji, Daddy Tezuka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —Mommy Fuji, Daddy Tezuka

—Mommy Fuji, Daddy Tezuka

A/N: …We take way too long getting new chapters up for _having almost the whole damn thing written already._ But like we've said, we almost never see each other, and we're… pretty lazy. Yay for being procrastinating teenagers. /shrug/ Beware of excessive, just, crackiness coming up, and I know this whole fic is pretty much pure crack, but especially a certain conversation Tezuka and Fuji have somewhere in the middle is just… filled with WTFery. …You've been warned. (I don't know why this isn't in the warnings, STFU.)

Disclaimer: Really, you think Konomi-sensei would put his character's in female-dress? Really? Well, I mean, I guess I wouldn't put it past him, honestly. After all, HE wrote in all the fan service. (Anyone else remember the GP's last match? Oishi could have been giving Eiji head, right there on the court.)

Warnings: Cross dressing (SRSLY, EVERY CHAPTER), ignorance/stupidity, deception, cat fight, fainting, Ryoma being Ryoma, citrus, Inui being Inui, swallowing of pride… This is definitely the dirtiest chapter so far, and it just gets worse, so if you're not into that kind of thing… cover your eyes? Or, well, I'd say you should stop reading, to be honest, because it's kind of everywhere. We're dirty-minded yaoi fan girls like that. This is what happens when you start reading yaoi pr0n in sixth grade, for the record. Sorry if I missed anything….

The drive to the place where the Osakadas were staying was rather long, about an hour from their cabin. Ryomoka's parents were very amicable, offering everyone drinks as they crammed themselves into the rather small cabin.

Ryomoka took it upon herself to introduce everyone, which wasn't exactly necessary, as they all had to re-introduce themselves anyway; no one was really comfortable with calling them by cutesy nicknames. Ryomoka stumbled a bit over Fuji's name but recovered quickly; she even gave him a new, girlier name.

"Shuuko-san," Ryomoka's mother said to Fuji, "why are you on a trip with all these boys, anyway?"

Fuji's smile was strained. "Ah-I was invited by Tezuka-kun."

"Mitsu-nii is Shuu-nee's boyfriend!" Ryomoka announced.

"I trust nothing... improper goes on?" Osakada-san asked.

"No, of course not, Sir," Fuji said firmly. "Even if Tezuka-kun and I were involved in such a relationship-which of course we aren't, we're not even married!-we wouldn't do those things with a little girl in the house!"

Fuji's prim and proper girl act nearly had all of the Regulars doubled over to try to keep from laughing. Fuji frowned. He needed to teach them to act a little better.

"How nice to see a young lady with good moral values..." Osakada-san looked pointedly at her oldest daughter, who had wandered into the room at some point with her obnoxious boyfriend.

"Aa! Tomoka-chan, I didn't see you there!" Fuji smiled at the girl.

"F-Fuji-sempai?" Horio and Tomoka chorused. The duo was owl-eyed staring at the tensai.

The majority of the Regulars brought their cups to their mouths to hide their laughter; all of them knew the quiet and manipulative tensai did not like the loud girl in the least.

"So can I stay with them please?" Ryomoka looked up at her parents.

"Well, I would really like to get to know these young men better before we send you off with them..." Ryomoka's father answered warily.

"But I had lots of fun! Haru-nii even got me to eat vegetables!" She smiled brightly.

"Did he now?" Ryomoka's mother patted the girl's head. "How ever did he get you to do that?"

"He made them go spwrirrrrrrr!" She spun around, mimicking the blades of a blender before falling back on her butt and laughing. Her mother picked her up, stifling her own laughter.

"You'll have to give me the recipe, Ryomoka never eats her vegetables." Osakada-san smiled at Inui, who began turning an interesting shade of red.

"Momo-sempai, give it back!" a shout came from the back of the group.

The second youngest of their group had gotten bored waiting for the verdict, and Momo being Momo, he couldn't leave the freshman to his nap against his boyfriend's side in peace.

Kaidoh reached up and grabbed the hat from the power-player's hand and swatted him with it before handing it back to Ryoma. "Stupid monkey..."

"Violent, isn't he?" Ryomoka's mother whispered to her husband.

"Yes, I would say so," came the reply.

"No!" Ryomoka whined. "Kaoru-nii-chan is really nice!" She scrambled down from her mother's arms to hug onto the second year's leg. Kaidoh hissed as red covered his cheeks. "Kaoru-nii and Momo-nii just don't like each other very much," Ryomoka went on, "but Kaoru-nii and Haru-nii are like Mommy and Daddy! They took super good care of me!"

Kaidoh and Inui flushed.

"Shuu-nee says they're even gonna get married someday!"

The Osakadas blinked. "Wh-what was that, Ryomoka?"

"Kaoru-nii and Haru-nii are boyfriends and they love each other lots, so they're gonna get married someday!"

Oishi pinched the bridge of his nose. That was not the best thing to say right then. Eiji bit his thumb, doubled over trying to keep his laughter in. Ryoma blinked and stared at them as if they were morons for not realizing it in the first place. Fuji and Tezuka turned around just in time to see Kaidoh faint.

"Well this was a good first impression, ne?" Taka-san whispered from next to Ryuzaki.

"Kaoru-nii-chan?" Ryomoka blinked at the unconscious body. She knelt beside the 'Mommy' and poked him in the ribs. When he didn't move, she jumped back. "Is he dead?"

Inui sighed and picked up his uke. "No, Ryomoka-chan, he's not dead. Just rather... shocked."

"Uh, here, put him over here, Inui-sempai." Tomoka led him to the couch.

"Kikumaru, would you please retrieve my water bottle from the car?" Inui looked up after laying his charge on the couch.

"Hai!" The redhead darted out the door, returning momentarily and holding a water bottle clearly marked 'Inui.' He held it out in front of him as if it would bite him.

The Osakadas seemed to be in a state of shock as well-one rather like how Echizen had been when Eiji had 'broken' him. Ryomoka climbed into her mother's lap, snapping her fingers. "Mommy? What's wrong?"

Osakada-san blinked and shook her head. "Forgive me. It's just a bit shocking that such nice, sweet boys are..."

"Gay," Ryuzaki-sensei said. "They're gay, and there's nothing wrong with it. They're perfectly good boys, and your daughter is more attached to them than to anyone of the rest of us."

"Uh-huh!" Ryomoka said brightly. "I don't care if Haru-nii and Kaoru-nii are both boys! They love each other, and that's a good thing, right?"

Her mother nodded stiffly. "Of-of course, Ryomoka."

Meanwhile, on the couch, Inui had stuck the tip of the water-bottle's straw into the second year's mouth. Seconds later a fully awake Kaidoh was up and coughing, Inui's juice having leaked into his mouth.

Fuji, Eiji, and Momo snickered at their friend's obvious displeasure from the sidelines.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is that?" Osakada-san asked.

"It's Inui Juice, would you like to try it?" Inui asked with an evil smile.

"N-no, I'll pass!" Ryomoka's father refused.

"Kaoru-nii-chan, what did Haru-nii put in your mouth?"

"Yucky stuff..." Kaidoh mumbled, discreetly rubbing his tongue on his jacket sleeve in a desperate attempt to remove the taste.

"Can I please stay with them?" Ryomoka turned back to her mother.

"Ryomoka, I really don't..."

"Mommy! I wanna stay with my nii-chans! They are nicer to me that Tomo-nee, and they don't do yucky things in front of me!"

"Ryomoka!" Tomoka shouted in horror.

Osakada-san looked at her oldest daughter with a mix of shock and fury on her face. "What have you been doing in front of your sister?"

"No-Mom, we didn't-it was just innocent, we thought she was asleep..."

She huffed. "Well, obviously I can't trust you with your sister!"

"Mom! Honest, we didn't do anything that bad-"

"How am I supposed to believe you when Ryomoka has already caught you-" Osakada-san paused to take a breath. "Having-it." Tomoka shot a desperate look at her boyfriend, who just shrugged helplessly.

"Does that mean I get to stay with Haru-nii and Kaoru-nii?" Ryomoka said hopefully.

Osakada-san sighed heavily. "As long as you're not imposing?" He looked to Ryuzaki-sensei.

"Of course she won't be!"

"So, Tezuka-buchou, any chance that maybe I can tag along, with my two years of tennis experience and all-"

The collective shout of "No!" from the Seigaku Regulars almost pushed the boy over.

"We are going to have a long talk, Horio-kun," Osakada-san said ominously.

Taka-san suddenly felt bad for the first year. He had had this talk with Tachibana Kippei last year about his little sister-nerve-wracking.

"Yay! I get to stay with you!" the three-year-old said to the two tennis players onto the couch.

"Shuuko-nee, Kaoru-nii-chan, can you help me get packed please?" Ryomoka looked up at the older two.

"Of course, Ryomoka-chan, " Fuji said, talking the little girl's hand and letting himself be led up the stairs along with Kaidoh.

"I should probably help them so Ryomoka doesn't end up with one of the other girls' clothes," Ryomoka's mother said, before trailing up behind them.

"So, Kaidoh-kun," Osakada-san said as she gathered Ryomoka's clothes into a bag. "How long have you and Inui-kun been together?"

Kaidoh flushed. "Er-about three years."

"And do you and he have a-er, a sexual relationship?"

He glanced quickly at Fuji, who shook his head. "Er-no, ma'am."

"That's good. Wouldn't want that AIDS disease spreading."

"Excuse me?" Fuji looked absolutely furious.

"Oh, you know, dear, it's that nasty disease that all gays have when they have sex," Ryomoka's mother waved a hand.

"Mommy, why would they get AIBS if they have a seftual relationship?" The new words were warped on Ryomoka's tongue.

"AIDS, Sweetie. Its like a really bad flu that only bad gay people get."

Kaidoh felt a wave of panic settle over him. This was exactly why he was so private about his personal life. People like Osakada-san spread their hate and misconceptions, and it never ended well. He stiffened as a racquet-calloused hand settled on his shoulder. He calmed down a bit; after all, Fuji-sempai was on his side.

"Osakada-san, I don't appreciate the way you are speaking of my friends." The cold tone of the tensai's voice sent chills down the second-year's spine-that was the 'I'm off to kill and plot' tone.

"It's only the truth, dear," the older woman said.

"It is not," Fuji said angrily. "AIDS has never been a disease that's solely in the gay community, and in fact recently it's become much more of a problem in heterosexuals. With all due respect, Osakada-san, people like you are the reason homophobia is still so rampant in today's society."

Kaidoh stared at the cross-dressing tensai. Fuji-sempai could sound really smart when he wanted to.

Osakada-san seemed very offended by this. "Well, I never! Maybe my husband and I made a mistake. I don't know if I should send my daughter to stay with you after all."

"No! Mommy!" Ryomoka tugged at her mother's skirt insistently. "Please! I want to go with Kaoru-nii and Syu-ni-I mean, Shuu-nee! I didn't understand everything Shuu-nee said, but Kaoru-nii and Haru-nii are really nice! I don't think they'll get sick just 'cause they love each other!"

"Shuu-NII!" Ryomoka's mother looked enraged.

Ryomoka gasped as she realized her slip-up and ducked around to hide behind her Nii-chans' legs.

Tezuka and Eiji both turned and looked at the stairwell as the voice of a certain enraged tensai met their ears, followed by the louder one of their pig-tailed charge's mother. Their eyes locked before they headed towards the stairs. "Where are you going?" Osakada-san called after them.

"Restraining Fujiko!" Eiji shouted over their shoulders. The rest of the Seigaku students' eyes widened in horror. A pissed off Fuji was not something to be restrained; 'avoided' was a much better word. Inui and Oishi began up the stairs after their boyfriends.

"Let's go back downstairs and let them work this out, Ryomoka-chan." Kaidoh placed a hand on her shoulder and started herding the rather scared girl towards the door.

"Don't touch her!" the livid woman howled, her finger poking dangerously close to his face.

"Get your finger out of his face! It's rude to point!"

That began the all-out cat fight between Osakada-san and Seigaku's resident tensai.

Tezuka was the first one through the door. His eyes widened at the sight of Fuji and Osakada-san rolling on the floor, throwing punches and pulling each other's hair. "Syusuke!" He pulled his boyfriend off of the woman. "What is going on here?"

"This woman is one of the most ignorant people I've ever met!" Fuji said furiously.

"Syusuke, don't be rude."

"Buchou, it's true," Kaidoh said. "She-well, she made some comments about gay people and AIDS..."

Tezuka sighed irritably. "That's no reason to attack her." He turned to Osakada-san. "Please, ma'am, I'm so sorry about this. Fuji is a little sensitive about these things..."

"I can see why! 'She' is nothing but a nasty little cross-dresser! I bet you're all sexual deviants, aren't you?" Osakada-san looked very much like a child throwing a tantrum. "My daughter is not going to stay with a bunch of disease-ridden freaks!"

At that Eiji's mouth turned down in an angry pout. "Wait a minute! You can't insult Fujiko-chan like that!"

"You're one too! You're all lying filthy-" They tuned it out after that for the most part; Kikumaru cut her off and began shouting at her about nonsensical things that were irrelevant.

"Well, she's not going with you! I don't care!"

"Yes I am, Mommy, you already said I could!"

"Oishi-sempai, shouldn't you-"

"No," the captains chorused.

"But-"

"No."

Kaidoh looked confusedly at his captains.

"Lets go, Kaidoh," Inui said, leading him out of the room. Behind them, they heard Fuji begin to butt his way back into an argument, followed by Tezuka quickly diffusing the entire fight. Eiji and Ryomoka scampered down the stairs after the couple; obviously the captains had kicked them out.

A half hour later, Ryomoka was in the back seat of Inui's car, strapped into the car seat her parents had offered to let them borrow, licking away at a lollipop happily. Inui was driving, with Tezuka in the front passenger seat and Fuji and Kaidoh on either side of Ryomoka.

"Tezuka," Inui said as they pulled out of the Osakadas' driveway behind Ryuzaki-sensei and the others, "how exactly did you get Osakada-san to let us take Ryomoka?"

"Oishi and I reasoned with her."

Inui raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe you. Fuji was in the room with you."

"What are you saying, Inui?" Fuji said crossly. "I'm perfectly capable of having a calm, rational conversation with someone."

"Not when they've accused you and all your teammates of being disease-ridden, freakish sexual deviants."

"Not Taka-san."

"But-"

"I didn't say anything to her Inui, I swear." Fuji held up his hand in the scouts' sign.

Inui made a small noise of disbelief but said nothing else.

"What I'd like to know is what started the whole thing." Tezuka looked into the back seat with his buchou stare.

"Don't give me that look, Mitsu-chan." Fuji met the other boy's look with one of his own, forcing him to look to Kaidoh.

"Well, Buchou. Oasakada-san began asking me about my, uh, sexual experience...and mentioned AIDS, and..." He trailed off as his lap became more and more interesting under the stare of his captain.

"Mommy said that Kaoru-nii-chan was gonna get sick if he had seftual relationships with Haru-nii-chan!" Ryomoka said around her lollipop. "But Haru-nii and Kaoru-nii won't get sick because they love each other. My storybooks always say that love makes all the bad things go away!" Ryomoka reached into the bag of her things next to her seat and pulled out a paperback book that looked like it'd been through each and every one of the Osakada children.

"...She accused Inui of having AIDS?"

"Not in so many words," Fuji said. "She told her daughter that AIDS is a disease 'bad gay people' get when they have sex. So I enlightened her."

Tezuka frowned. "By attacking her?"

"Mitsu-nii, Syu-nii didn't hit Mommy right away! He said some really smart-sounding stuff, and Mommy was real mean to him! And then..." Ryomoka looked guiltily at her lap. "I accidentally called Syu-nii-chan 'Syu-nii' instead of 'Shuu-nee'..."

Fuji patted her head. "It's not your fault, Ryomoka-chan. We shouldn't have asked you to lie, anyway. Lying is bad, remember?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Good girl," Fuji kissed the top of her head.

"My data was wrong again..." Inui grumbled from the driver's seat.

"What do you mean, Inui-sempai?"

"According to my data, it should have taken the Osakadas half the time it did to discover Fuji's real gender."

"Inui-sempai, your data only works in tennis, and only against people other than Seigaku Regulars..." Kaidoh muttered.

"Kaoru-chan," Inui whined. The second year flushed red and tried to hide his face beneath his bangs. "Don't be so mean to me."

"Yes, Kaoru-chan. You might become mean and bitter like Mitsu-chan," Fuji giggled.

"Fuji," Tezuka growled.

"Yes, Kunimitsu?"

"Twenty laps."

"Yes Kunimitsu, just let me get changed beforehand..."

"No."

"Wh-what?"

"Since you seem to like female's clothes, you can run your laps in them." Tezuka mentally patted himself on the back.

"Mitsu-nii, are you sure you don't like girls? Syu-nii sure likes to wear girl clothes for you an awful lot!"

"Ryomoka-chan, Mitsu-nii likes boys," Fuji said, smiling at Tezuka. "He just likes it when I look pretty."

"Oh..." Ryomoka looked at Tezuka. "Mitsu-nii, do you and Syu-nii have a seftual relationship?"

Tezuka coughed. "Er-yes, Ryomoka-chan."

"You don't get sick, do you, even though you're both boys?"

"No."

"So Mommy really was wrong!"

Fuji nodded, kneeling next to her. "That's right. See, what your mommy said was a stereotype."

"A st-stereo... huh?"

"It's when you say something mean about a big group of people who have something in common just because they're part of that group."

"Is Mommy bad?"

Fuji shook his head. "No, she was just never taught to be tolerant of gay people. It's not her fault, really."

"I'll just have to teach Mommy that it's okay! 'Cause all my nii-chans are really awesome, and they all like boys, except Taka-nii, so gay people can't all be bad!" Ryomoka smiled proudly.

Fuji chuckled. "That's right, Ryomoka-chan."

They pulled up to the cabin and got out of the car, Kaidoh unhooking Ryomoka from her car seat. "How many laps do I have again, Mitsu?" Fuji asked, plucking the hem of his skirt.

Tezuka didn't answer, just caught Fuji's wrist and pulled him close to hug him. "You're going to make a great parent someday."

Fuji flashed him a bright smile. "You too."

Tezuka kissed the smaller boy's forehead and turned him around. "Get going, Syusuke." He walked past him, groping his boyfriend's skirt-clad butt on the way.

Fuji made a squeaking sound and froze, staring at the back of Tezuka's head with a rather mortified expression. "Please tell me Kunimitsu did not just do that," he muttered to himself.

"Better get started, Fuji-sempai, it looks like rain," Momo said as he walked past the shocked tensai, a very displeased looking Ryoma laid bridal-style in his arms.

A high-pitched giggle broke the air as Ryomoka ran past with Kaidoh's bandana, the second year quick to follow her. Inui and the Golden Pair trailed behind leaving Fuji there by himself. A crack of thunder spurred the tensai into motion, and he began the evil that was known as laps.

Fuji cursed when he felt a drop of water on his arm. Then another, and another, and suddenly the rain was coming down like bullets, soaking his clothes completely. He sighed. No way would Tezuka let him back in because of a little rain...

"Only forty-four to go," he muttered sarcastically to himself.

Inside the cabin, Eiji stared out the window, sighing mournfully as Fuji completed another lap around the cabin. "Nya, Oishi, isn't making Fujiko run in rain like this a little harsh?"

"Tezuka wouldn't be making him do it if he didn't think Fuji could handle it," Oishi said simply.

"But he might catch cold... Oi!" Eiji hopped up from his seat. "Fuji slipped!"

Tezuka's head shot up.

"Fujiko slipped and fell in the mud." Eiji looked worriedly out the window.

Tezuka calmly walked up the stairs and they heard a few curses and some scuffling around before he came down with a large fluffy towel. He stepped outside and stood under the awning. He waited for Fuji to come around the corner before grabbing and wrapping the drenched tensai in the towel and pulling him close.

"Why didn't you come in?"

"It's just a little rain," Fuji mumbled.

"Come on." Tezuka led the tensai into the house and upstairs into the bathroom wordlessly.

"Tezuka? What's with the sudden bought of niceties?" Fuji asked as the captain began running him a warm bath and helping him out of his wet outfit.

"Oishi and Kikumaru just made me realize something earlier," Tezuka trailed off when he kissed the tensai.

"Hm? What's that?" Fuji asked, unzipping the skirt and letting it pool at his feet.

"Just that I love you. And I don't let you know it enough."

The tensai smiled softly and leaned up for a kiss. "Don't be silly. I know you love me, Kunimitsu. You don't have to say it for me to know it's true."

Tezuka shook his head. "You deserve to hear it, Syusuke. Our relationship... it's become about sex. I don't want that."

Fuji sighed and laid his head on Tezuka's chest. "Don't worry so much, ne? Most couples would kill for our sex life. It's not a bad thing. Besides, isn't sex just the most important way of showing love?"

"Not necessarily, Syusuke," Tezuka said as he guided the brunette to the tub.

"Hm?" A confused look moved over the tensai's face.

Tezuka leaned against the side of the tub to whisper in Fuji's ear, "Your little scheme with Inui involving children and one of his potions?"

"Oh!"

"Ne, why's Mitsu-nii being so nice to Syu-nii-chan?" Ryomoka looked up at Momo.

"I dunno. Oh watch out!" He jumped a bit.

Ryomoka's car crashed into the wall making 'YOU LOSE' appear in big red letters on the TV screen.

"Wah!" Ryomoka whined in disbelief.

Kaidoh appear from the kitchen. "What did you do, you stupid monkey!" He demanded, glaring at Momo.

"I didn't do anything, I swear!"

"Why's she crying then!"

"She crashed the car!"

"Well don't distract her!"

"Kaoru-nii-"

"I didn't, you stupid snake!"

"Momo-nii!"

"Idiot!"

"Nii-chans!" Ryomoka shouted.

Inui, Oishi, Eiji, and Taka appeared. "What?"

"They won't quit yelling at each other!" Ryomoka pouted.

Ryoma picked that moment to walk in. "Momo-sempai, leave Kaidoh-sempai alone."

Momo threw his hands up in the air with a frustrated shout and stormed upstairs.

"Kunimitsu, you'd really do that for me?" Fuji asked, his blue eyes uncharacteristically wide.

Tezuka nodded, running a hand through Fuji's hair. "I'll do anything that will make you happy. I'd be honored to have a child with you, Syusuke."

Fuji beamed and pulled Tezuka down for a kiss before grabbing him around the waist and yanking him into the tub. Tezuka yelled in surprise as he landed in Fuji's lap. "You could at least have asked me to get undressed."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Ryoma found Momo sulking in their bedroom, hitting a tennis ball against the wall, much like the freshman had been doing the night before. "Ne, Momo-sempai."

"What?" Momo caught the ball as it bounced back at him. He looked at his boyfriend a bit hopefully, thinking that maybe, just this once, Ryoma would actually act like a boyfriend.

"Stop being a baby."

Or not.

"Would it kill you to take my side every once in a while, Ryoma?"

"Don't call me that, it sounds weird..." Ryoma tugged his cap down and grabbed the tennis ball Momo had been bouncing.

"But you're my boyfriend!" Momo dropped back onto the bed with a whine. "You won't even let me call you by your given name..." He crossed his arms behind his head and pouted at the ceiling.

"Takeshi," Ryoma mumbled, "See, it just sounds weird, Takeshi, Takeshi, Takeshi." The little prodigy wrinkled his nose.

Tezuka gave the beaming brunette a look before maneuvering out of his lap and stripping. After a few minutes Fuji ended up in his lap, and he was massaging shampoo into his honey-toned tresses.

"Hm, I wonder what it'll look like. I hope it'd have your determination. I suppose I'd want a little boy, but a girl would be nice too-" Fuji's babbling was cut off when Tezuka placed his mouth over his.

"Maybe we should practice before we get into all of that?" The suggestive tone hidden in the captain's voice forced Fuji to smother a moan as a deft finger was slipped inside of him. It was soon followed by two others.

"M-mitsu," Fuji breathed as he rocked back and forth on the appendages.

Tezuka withdrew his hand and helped Fuji steadily lower himself onto the seme. Both were still, savoring the connection, before they began to move

Momo reached a hand up and pulled Ryoma down by his collar. "I kinda like it, actually."

"But your name's weird, Momo-sempai, and it sounds too much like Kawamura-sempai's." Ryoma pouted at Momo, who had an arm firmly wrapped around his waist so he couldn't move.

"It's not weird! It's totally normal, especially compared to Ryoma. That's just a stupid name-"

"Mada mada dane, Momo-sempai."

"Takeshi."

"No."

"Come on, Ryoma, please? Just for one day, we'll call each other by our given names, and if we don't like it then we'll go back to Momo-sempai and Echizen, all right?" He kissed the freshman's cheek.

"Whatever." Ryoma pulled himself free of Momo's grip and started towards the door. "I'm getting Ponta."

"Can you get me one too?"

Ryoma stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at his sempai. "MY Ponta." He said firmly before leaving the room.

In another room Eiji had gotten bored, and well, let's just say Kaidoh had been the person closest to him. He was currently being dressed in certain things from the redhead's best friend's suitcase.

"Kikumaru-sempai, I really don't think Fuji-sempai would like it if he saw me in this," Kaidoh tugged at the hem of the French maid costume.

"Ah-ha!" The third-year exclaimed, "I found it! I knew Fujiko said he brought it with him." He pulled a black wig from his friend's bag and snagged Kaidoh's bandana to replace it with the fake ebony hair. Eiji messed with the hair for a few moments before leading his kouhai out of the room.

"K-K-Kaidoh-kun!" The shock on Oishi's face sent Eiji into a fit of giggles.

The second year looked straight down at the ground, or he would have if the ruffled almost gothic-lolita style skirt hadn't been in his line of vision. The bangs on the wig covered his eyes, but they didn't hide the blush that burned his cheeks. The rest of the wig fell straight to just past his shoulder blades. He turned to follow basic instinct and run somewhere where he could not be seen, but he was stopped when Inui's large hand grabbed his. It seemed Oishi's shout had alerted the other third year and brought him upstairs. Kaidoh panicked as the high platform boots refused to work correctly on his feet and slipped from under him as he turned back around. He just barely caught himself against the tall data analyst, but he was still holding himself up with just his arms, and as he looked up he didn't think it would be that way much longer; Inui's nose was bleeding profusely.

Ryoma blinked as he shut the bedroom door behind him. Standing in front of him was none other than his little namesake, who had her hands on her hips and a frown on her face. "Ryoma-nii!" she said, stamping her foot. "You should be nice to Momo-nii!"

"Don't spy, it's rude," the freshman said, brushing past the little girl.

"You're rude, Ryoma-nii! Momo-nii is always trying to be nice to you, and you're mean to him! He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

Ryoma paused. "Yeah, he is."

"Boyfriends are supposed to be nice to each other 'cause they love each other! You love Momo-nii, right, Ryoma-nii?"

Ryoma coughed, his face flushing bright red. "Er-"

"Maybe if you told Momo-nii you love him, you wouldn't have so many problems," Ryomoka said decisively.

"What do you know about it? You're, what? Three?"

"No! I'm four! And Shuu-nii always gets super happy whenever Mitsu-nii says 'I love you,' and it makes me really happy whenever Mommy and Daddy say it to me, and when Horio-nii told Tomo-nee that, she squealed really loud and kissed him! So I figure it must be a good thing, and I think Momo-nii loves you, Ryoma-nii, so you should both say it and then you'll be happy!"

Ryoma was silent for a moment as he continued down the stairs, Ryomoka following him. "Ne, Ryoma-nii, are you gonna tell Momo-nii you love him?"

"...Go find Kaidoh-sempai, he probably needs your help keeping Inui-sempai in line."

"Okay, Ryoma-nii, but you better say you love Momo-nii or you're gonna be in big trouble!" The little girl turned and hurried back up the stairs, and Ryoma sighed.

"I don't like small children..."

Momo sighed and pulled himself up off the bed and opened the door, suddenly wondering what his sempai-tachi were up to. He saw Oishi-fukubuchou, who was passed out on the floor, and Kikumaru-sempai, who was laughing? Inui-sempai was making a hasty retreat down the stairs, there was a small puddle of blood on the carpet, next to which a girl sat.

"Oi! Who are you?" He moved towards the female.

She looked up, well he thought she did, her hair hid her eyes. "Hn?" She mumbled as if half-dazed. Momo reached down and grabbed her hand off her lap.

He pulled her up and said cheerily, "I'm Momoshiro Takeshi, but you can call me Momo-chan! So who're you?"

"H-her name's Kaoru, Kaigami Kaoru!" Eiji said as he pulled himself up and dragged an incapacitated Oishi to their room. "She got lost, so Ryuuzaki-sensei said she could sta-OW!"

The third year began jumping up and down while holding his foot.

"What's wrong, Kikumaru-sempai?"

"It seems Kaoru-chan accidentally stepped on my foot!" He forced a smile.

Kaidoh buried his face in his hands this was horrible. He was dressed as a girl, Kikumaru-sempai had said he was a girl, and that idiot Momoshiro kept touching him!

"Ah, so..." A large hand fell onto the second year's shoulder, "You must need someone to protect you here with all these guys around ne?" Kaidoh shoved the spiky-haired boy away and placed her back to a wall-that was WAY too close for his comfort. Momo was feeling very school-boy-esque; this Kaoru-chick was really cute, and she had such full, pouty lips. If he was single he would-no, he was not single, think RYOMA! Ryoma, tight little hot Ryoma who was such an asshole! He mentally hit his boyfriend.

Said boyfriend appeared at the top of the stairs at that moment, two grape Pontas in hand. He raised an arm to toss one to Momo, before seeing his sempai with his hands all over a girl-no, wait, Kaidoh-sempai in a dress. ...What?-and pausing. "Momo-sempai...?"

"R-Ryoma! Uh, this is Kaoru-chan, she got lost so Ryuzaki-sensei said she could stay with us, and I was just getting introduced..."

Half pissed and half surprised at Momo's idiocy, Ryoma threw the can at Momo's head and stormed into their bedroom. "You can sleep on the couch!" he shouted before slamming the door shut.

Momo rubbed his head. "What'd I do?"

Eiji shook his head slowly, patting Momo's back. "Momo-chan, you have a lot to learn about dating..."

"But he-Ryoma-URGH! WHY CAN'T I EVER WIN!" He stormed into his room only to back out a few minutes later, a barrage of tennis balls coming after him.

"Momo, if you don't stop disturbing my post-coital bliss something will be done about it," Fuji said from behind his kouhai, making him jump about five feet in the air.

An angry shout echoed in the hallway, "KIKUMARU, FORTY LAPS FOR GOING THROUGH FUJI'S SUITCASE, AND KAIDOH, THIRTY LAPS FOR NOT COMING TO TELL US IMMEDIATELY!"

"But Buchou, you would have given him laps for disturbing you!" Eiji quipped in Kaidoh's defense.

"Why are you giving laps to someone who isn't here?" Momo looked completely confused.

Eiji slung his arms around Kaidoh's neck. "Yes he is!"

"But I-" Momo turned towards the wall and slammed his head against it repeatedly.

"Ne, Mitsu, I think Kaoru-chan looks very cute in my dress." Fuji smiled dangerously.

Kaidoh flushed beneath the black of the wig.

"Kaoru~!" They all turned to see Inui, blushing like a drunk and overly excited. A tissue dangled from his nose.

"Inui," Fuji said sweetly, "would you like to borrow it for the night?"

The look in Inui's eyes was positively reverent. "Really?"

"Sure. I won't be using it tonight."

"But... the chances of this happening are just under 3.5-"

"Just take it. And make sure you get it dry-cleaned, please. I know the sort of things that happen when that dress is involved."

Kaidoh's face turned an even darker red.

Ryoma sat on his bed, hurling a tennis ball at the wall, imagining it was Momo's head every time he whacked it back with his racket. Stupid sempai. What did he need with pretty girls? They were useless, usually stupid, and there wasn't anything all that appealing about them. Wasn't Momo-sempai supposed to be gay anyway?

Then again, Tezuka-buchou and Inui-sempai both really seemed to like seeing Fuji-sempai and Kaidoh-sempai in girl's clothes. Maybe he could ask Fuji-sempai to borrow one of his outfits...?

He shook his head rapidly, missing the ball entirely as it came back toward him. What the hell was he thinking? He wouldn't sink so low, especially not for stupid perverted Momo-sempai...

Someone knocked on the door. He didn't answer.

"Echizen, it's me," Taka's voice filtered through the door. "Can I come in?"

"Che. Whatever. It's your room too."

A very nervous-looking Taka-san opened the door. "Er, Echizen? I-I'm just passing on the message, so, you know, don't shoot the messenger and all that, but Momo says he's sorry for whatever he did, and, uh, that-that you probably bruised him pretty well with the tennis balls, so he thinks you're even."

Ryoma's anger flared up again. "If the idiot doesn't even know what he did, he can go feel up as many cute girls as he wants, because I don't care!"

"Momo-nii, why did you touch Kaoru-nii like that and make Ryoma-nii mad?" Ryomoka swung her little feet back and forth atop the counter.

"Ne, can't you give me a break, Ryomoka-chan? I didn't know it was 'Kaoru-nii', okay?" He made sure to use the air quotes around his rival's name.

"No, when you love somebody you aren't supposed to touch other people like that at all! My mommy said so!" Ryomoka nodded her head.

Momo turned around and sat down at the table next to his coach and fellow power-player with a groan. "If you were ever going to give me advice, now would be a good time, Ryuuzaki-baa-chan..."

"Well if Ryoma's anything like his father, and he is, then you just have to be persistent. He won't listen to what you tell him unless you pound it into him, and the best way to do that is to beat him." The older woman sighed.

"I can't be an abusive boyfriend!" Momo was appalled.

"At tennis, moron!"

"I can't beat him at tennis, the last time we played he beat me six games to two!" Momo whined. "Isn't there any other way?"

"Probably not. You'll just have to get better."

"Yeah, like I'll ever get good enough to beat Echizen, Mr. Pinnacle of Perfection..."

"Well, maybe if you get him in a really bad mood, like that time in junior high when he let you win," Taka said helpfully.

"The only way to do that is to tell him I'm going to America for a year or something, that's what happened last time..."

Kaidoh tried to protest as Inui picked Oishi up from his bed (where he'd been put earlier after he'd passed out at the sight of Kaidoh in a dress) and dumped him unceremoniously in the hall. But at the moment, Inui was on a mission, and no one stopped Inui when he was on a mission. Poor Oishi-sempai was just a casualty.

Said mission, Kaidoh had guessed from the nosebleeds and the fact that he was still in this horrendous French maid dress, was to screw him looking like a girl, which he wasn't sure he was entirely happy about.

Inui pulled him into his arms. "You look very nice, Kaoru-chan."

Kaidoh frowned. "Inui-sempai, why do you like seeing me dressed as a girl? Don't you like me as a boy?"

"It's not that you look like girl, Kaoru. It's that you look very cute in a dress. I am very aware of the fact that you are a male." Inui reached a hand under the short skirt, rubbing his hand against Kaidoh's crotch. "To the bed."

In exactly 10.5 seconds (Inui always timed it) the analyst was completely relieved of clothing and was currently ignoring Kaidoh, who was still in the maid's dress, so he could write this down in his notebook.

"A personal best," he said happily. "Maybe we should acquire more costumes such as this to test my performance when-"

"Inui-sempai," Kaidoh said exasperatedly, "don't I get to take this thing off?"

Inui just smiled wickedly and pressed a kiss to Kaidoh's lips. "Now where's the fun in that?" He reached under the skirt again and pulled Kaidoh's underwear off before taking a bottle of lube from his pants pocket. "One should always be prepared," he said at Kaidoh's incredulous look, smirking and squirting some onto his fingers. Kaidoh groaned as the first finger was pushed inside him and wrapped his arms around Inui's neck.

Inui pressed another finger into Kaidoh's entrance and began prodding around. Kaidoh yelped at the sudden wave of pleasure as Inui found what he was looking for.

"Ready, Kaoru?" Inui asked his boyfriend, who was already panting into his chest from the preparation. Kaidoh nodded vaguely and Inui laid him down on the bed, positioning himself and slowly pushing inside.

"Inui, you jerk..." Kikumaru glared at his bedroom door as it was shut. "You could at least have me get him instead of dropping him on the floor!" he growled as he hoisted his boyfriend up into a sitting position. "Oishi? Nya~! Wake up, Oishi!" The acrobat looked up at his best friend and captain. "Mou, will you help me get him downstairs?"

"Hold on," Tezuka mumbled, pulling Fuji into their room to get dressed. Moments later the couple reappeared, fully dressed.

"Tezuka, I think you should go talk to Ryoma about Momo. He'll listen to you," Fuji suggested. "I'll help Eiji with Oishi." Tezuka nodded and went into the freshman's room.

"Was that such a good idea, Fujiko?" Eiji said once they got to the walkway point going down the stairs. The thumping of Ryoma's tennis ball against the bedroom wall had become increasingly louder.

"If he'll listen to anyone, it's Tezuka," Fuji said as he readjusted Oishi's weight on his shoulder.

"Get out, Buchou," Ryoma growled as he heard Tezuka's familiar footsteps enter the room.

"Echizen, we need to talk."

"Nothing to talk about," Ryoma mumbled.

Tezuka sighed and sat next to the freshman on his bed. "Echizen," he began awkwardly, "I'm going to try to say this as nicely as possible. You are absolutely horrible when it comes to dating."

"Gee, thanks."

"I'm saying this as your captain. Fighting with Momoshiro could affect your performance on the team."

Ryoma glared at him. "It's his fault, so why are you talking to me? He's the one who was all over Kaidoh-sempai-"

"Echizen, how often, would you say, do you act affectionately towards Momoshiro?"

The freshman paused, flushing. "I don't know."

"Not often, I'd presume."

Silence.

"...Some sort of affectionate behavior is required, Echizen. Otherwise there won't be any clear boundaries when it comes to your relationship. I'm sure Momoshiro is just confused. He follows you around like a lovesick puppy and you blatantly ignore him, and yet he can't get away with looking at what he thinks is a pretty girl."

"But being lovey-dovey like Oishi-sempai and Kikumaru-sempai is just stupid. Who wants to get all cuddly or whatever?"

Tezuka sighed again. Ryoma really was stubborn. "Echizen, what did you think dating Momoshiro would entail when you agreed to go out with him?"

"I dunno. I never thought Momo-sempai would want to get mushy."

"That's not exactly it." Tezuka paused for a moment, dreading his horrendously cheesy next sentence. "Sometimes it's nice to know that the person you love loves you too."

"What is it with everyone and that word today? Why do I have to say it to him?"

"It isn't as if you show it through your actions, Echizen. You don't have to do both, but at least pick one or the other. Eventually he's going to start thinking you don't even want to be with him. You do, don't you?"

"I don't do anything I don't want to do."

"Then why is it so hard to show it?"

Ryoma flushed in frustration and left the room without answering. Tezuka sighed; this was going to be harder than he thought.

Momo looked up as unhappy footsteps entered the room.

We need to talk," Ryoma glared, lightning blared through the window lighting up the freshman.

Momo got up and allowed himself to be led upstairs, into the bathroom. "Buchou stole our room," Ryoma quickly explained. "Sorry..." He stared angrily at his feet.

"If you'd just be a little nice to me..." Momo trailed off.

"But you were all over Kaidoh-sempai!"

"Yeah, well, I'm bi!"

Ryoma glared, such a lame excuse, "That's beside the point!"

"I'm a teenage guy! You do the math!" Momo whined.

"But Kaidoh-sempai!"

"Urgh! Quit reminding me!" Momo put his head in his hand dramatically.

"Mada mada dane..."

Momo grabbed Ryoma by the shoulders and kissed him. "Shut up you idiot."

"If I say 'mada mada dane' again will you kiss me?" Ryoma smirked.

"Mada mada dane!" Momo smirked back.

Ryoma raised an eyebrow and stood on his tiptoes to place a kiss on his sempai's lips. "Don't look at girls anymore, or I'll kick your ass."

"Well, technically I wasn't actually-"

"Shut up, Sempai." He pulled Momo down for third kiss, this one lasting much longer than the first two.

"Does this mean I'm getting some again tonight?"

"Baka."

"Everyone!" Fuji said to his fellow regulars, who were gathered in front of him (sans Echizen and Momo, who were still making out in the bathroom). "I have an announcement!"

A/N: Momo's question: Why can't I ever win? My answer: Because Scarlet is taking part in writing this fic, and I think she hates you. I'm not sure why. Or maybe she just thinks it's fun to torture you. Personally, I think Tezuka's the most fun. I mean, it's _Tezuka._

…..Reviews are awesome, JFTR ("just for the record," in case anyone is not hip to our lingo).

BY THE WAY EVERYONES! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Cause ya' know, we're not posting a chapter tomorrow and it's easier to just say it now…..


	6. The Fearsome Foursome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook—The Fearsome Foursome_

_The Notebook—The Fearsome Foursome_

A/N: Happy Easter if you celebrate it. Happy Spring break if you have one, and if neither apply then here's a new chappie for the hell of it! AND, before you read this, Katie was mean to Eiji, NOT SCARLET! (Scarlet: *points fingers and yells "She did it! She did it!"*)

Warnings: Citrus, T or D, Fuji, bad-kitty, Mpreg implications, fainting, kinkiness (OMG that's an actual word, I didn't know that!), fluff/WAFF, singing, bag o' "goodies", buchou torture , moresome, weirdness, and just plain CRACK

Tezuka raised an eyebrow. What could Fuji possible have to announce when they'd be stuck here for three days? "Kunimitsu and I are going to have a baby!"

The room was dead silent. Tezuka twitched.

"Um, Fujiko..." Eiji hurriedly pulled his best friend down off the stairs, "I don't know if YOU'VE noticed, but you're a guy..." He paused. "You ARE a guy... right?

"Oh of course I am!" He playfully slapped the red-head's shoulder. "That's why I'm commissioning Inui!"

"Oh, well, okay then!" Eiji smiled, accepting the response.

Meanwhile, Tezuka had gone into a twitching fit.

"Are you going to be okay, Tezuka?" Oishi asked, waving a hand in front of his captain's face. "Fuji, I think something's wrong with him!" he called to the tensai.

"Mitsu-chan," Fuji said, walking over, "it's nothing to be embarrassed about. They would have found out anyway!"

"Mitsu-nii?" Ryomoka tugged at the bespectacled brunette's shirt, making him look down blankly. "Mitsu-nii, how do you make babies?"

For the third time that day, a Regular fainted.

Fuji paid Tezuka no mind and kneeled in front of Ryomoka. "You see, Ryomoka-chan, when two people love each other very much, they-"

"Keep it clean, please, Fuji-sempai," Kaidoh said, looking nervously between the pair.

"Of course, Kaidoh," Fuji said sweetly, smiling up at his kohai. "When two people love each other a lot, they decide to have a baby. Then they-well, they do grown-up things, and the mommy carries the baby in her stomach for nine months."

"...But, Shuu-nii, Haru-nii and Kaoru-nii have done grown-up things, and so have Oishi-nii and Eiji-nii, and Ryoma-nii and Momo-nii. Are they trying to have babies too?"

Fuji patted her head. "Well, no. See, usually boys aren't able to have babies together, but since Haru-nii is a scientist, he's going to help Mitsu-nii and me have a baby."

"So why do they do grown-up things if they can't have babies?"

"Because... they're practicing."

"Oh. Is making a baby hard?"

"Well, not exactly. But it's... fun."

"If it's fun then why can't little kids do it?"

"It isn't fun for little kids. See, when you become a teenager, you start to get urges to do grown-up things that you don't get when you're younger. But even then it's just dangerous because lots of bad stuff can come from doing grown-up things."

Ryomoka gave Fuji a wide-eyed look. "If it's dangerous why do you do it, Shuu-nii? Can you get hurt doing grown-up things?"

Fuji wanted to bang his head against a wall. This little girl asked far too many questions. "If you don't do them with the right person, and if you're too young. You wouldn't want to have a baby with someone you didn't want to have one with, would you?"

"Uh-uh." Ryomoka shook her head furiously.

"Good girl," Fuji patted her head and began to stand up.

"But Shuu-nii, I don't want any of my nii-chan's to get hurt! I don't want them to do grown-up thing anymore!" Ryomoka hugged around his legs tightly. The pair fell over with a soft thud.

"Ryomoka! I won't get hurt, none of us will get hurt! We all love each other too much to let any of us get hurt," he whispered as he pulled her into his lap.

"Momo-sempai!" Ryoma moaned as the second year bit his nipple. He was pressed up against the bathroom wall, his upper body exposed and covered with a red flush.

"Hn?" Momo absently made a questioning sound. He was too busy discovering new ways to make his boyfriend moan to really pay much mind to anything.

"Er-I, uh-can we..." Ryoma habitually reached up to tug his cap over his eyes, only to discover that it had been knocked off when Momo had pulled his shirt off.

"Can we what, Echizen?" Momo asked, grinning as Ryoma's blush darkened.

"Can we... you know..."

"I don't know what you're asking me, Echizen, so you'll have to just come out and say it if-"

"Sex! I want to have sex. Are you happy now?"

"Very," Momo smirked.

"So if you do grown-up things with someone you love, you can't get hurt?"

"Well, I wouldn't say you can't..." Fuji frowned. He didn't want to lie to her, but he didn't want to make her think that sex was a bad thing either. "Like I said, if you're too young, you can have a baby before you're ready."

"Oh... okay... so then, you're ready to have a baby, Shuu-nii?"

"Well... not right now, but I will be by the time I have one."

"Oh." Ryomoka smiled up at him. "I bet you and Mitsu-nii would have really cute babies, Shuu-nii!"

"Thank you, Ryomoka." Fuji smiled at her and hugged her.

Ryoma blushed bright red in embarrassment and mild anger as his sempai kissed him. Momo knew what he wanted, he didn't have to make him say it! He bit Momo's tongue in reprisal.

"OW!" Momo yelped. He pulled Ryoma close against him and whispered, "Ya' know that should get some sort of punishment, I wonder what you would do if I turned you over my knee and spanked you, ne? Would that turn you on?"

"All my nii-chans would have cute babies! I think Shuu-nii and Mitsu-nii's would be fun! I think it would be really nice and like to play tricks on grown-ups just like Shuu-nii!"

"I don't think the world can handle more than one Fujiko, Ryo-chan!" Eiji laughed as he scooped up the little girl. Ryomoka kicked her feet in the air as she was spun around by her fun-loving nii-chan. Fuji got up off the floor and went to go check on Tezuka, who had been moved to the couch courtesy of Oishi and Taka-san.

"Kunimitsu?" Fuji said, brushing the hair out of Tezuka's eyes. "Are you okay?"

Tezuka opened his eyes slowly, his vision a little blurry. "Syusuke?"

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty."

The captain glared mildly at the tensai. "What happened?"

"You fainted. Ryomoka was asking you questions about the... baby-making process."

Tezuka sat up, feeling extremely embarrassed. He was Tezuka, the captain, he didn't faint for such stupid reasons... He felt the sudden urge to give laps, but thought better of it. It was raining still, after all... maybe he could think of a different punishment...

Ryoma stared at Momo for a few seconds. He blinked. "I dunno. You could try it."

"Try... try spanking you?"

"Yeah, why not?" Ryoma sat on Momo's lap, facing him. "Never know until you try."

Momo gaped at him. No way, _no way,_ was Echizen Ryoma sitting on his lap asking him to spank him. "Are you... sure?"

"Just do it, Sempai."

"Um... okay..." Still totally bemused, Momo only managed a light smack. Ryoma jumped a bit, but frowned.

"That was really wimpy, Momo-sempai."

"Ne, Echizen... I don't think I can do this," Momo said as a small frown crossed his face, "I feel like a bad seme..." He pulled the freshman tightly against him in a hug instead. "Plus, you'll never hear the end of it from the sempais if you can't sit down..." He nipped the freshman's earlobe.

A while later, after Ryoma insulted Momo and they had gotten down to business, there was a rap on the door.

"Ochibi, Momo, Fujiko says to come down and play a game with us now that Ryomoka and Ryuzaki-sensei went to bed!" Kikumaru's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Give us a minute," Momo called. More quietly he said, "Ryoma, come on," and shook his shoulder. Ryoma swatted at his hand in a half conscious state, fully ready to go to sleep right there on the bathroom floor.

Momo shook his head and grabbed a washcloth to clean the smaller boy up before dressing him and carrying him downstairs, meeting Eiji outside the door.

"Momo-sempai, put me down!" Ryoma grumbled as he was carried bouncily down the smirked as he sat next to Fuji on the floor, his uke in his lap and struggling to get free. "Get off!"

"Let him go, Momoshiro," Tezuka said from the head of the circle. Momo pouted but let Ryoma crawl out of his lap.

"So we're playing a game?" Momo asked, sliding an arm around Ryoma despite the younger boy's protests.

Tezuka sighed irritably. "At Fuji's request."

"Kunimitsu, you agreed that it would be a good team bonding experience," Fuji said, nuzzling Tezuka's cheek. "That's what we're here for, isn't it?"

Tezuka just shot him a glare.

"What are we playing, Buchou?" Eiji asked excitedly. "Have you decided? How about a card game? There's poker or blackjack or Dai Hin Min... or is it just a regular party game? Like Spin the Bottle! That's always fun!"

"Eiji!" Oishi reprimanded, looking a little horrified. "We can't play that game, we're all dating someone, and Taka-san's straight..."

"That just makes it funner!"

Oishi sighed. He knew he shouldn't have let Eiji have that candy...

"I think Truth or Dare would be the best for bonding," Inui quipped, mentally adding the data. Ryoma and Kaidoh both immediately froze up, remembering the last time Truth or Dare had been played at one of the Regulars' get-togethers. It was, what Fuji and Kikumaru had dubbed, 'Operation Get Momo and Ochibi Together' and 'Operation Get Inui Laid.'

"Oh! I wanna go first! Pick me, Fujiko! Pick me!" Eiji shouted, waving his arm in the air wildly, as he asked the 'ringleader' for permission to take the first turn.

"Go ahead, Eiji," Fuji laughed at his best friend's antics.

"Buchou, truth or dare!" Eiji targeted the team's pillar of support.

"Dare."

Eiji got a very Fuji-like gleam in his eyes as he looked at the captain.

"Run twenty laps around the cabin naked!"

Tezuka blinked. "You're kidding."

"Nope!"

"Twenty? Eiji, don't you think that's a little much?" Oishi asked tentatively. "I mean, he could get hypothermia being outside so long not wearing anything..."

"Ten?"

Oishi shook his head slightly.

"I'm not going under five, Oishi, nya!"

"It's fine," Tezuka said shortly, standing up. He really hated things like this, and nearly every time they played he ended up naked somehow, but Tezuka never backed down from a dare. Sighing, he walked out onto the front porch, his teammates following. He could feel Fuji's appreciative stare as he stripped off all his clothing.

Luckily for the captain, he was fast. Unfortunately the rain was quite unforgiving and fell in torrents. When he finished Fuji was waiting for him with a blanket. This he was fine with, but when Fuji snatched his glasses from his face to wipe the rain droplets off them he gave the shorter boy a disapproving look. Tezuka Kunimitsu did not like being babied in from of his team.

Eventually they all made it back into the living room, but not without the comments. Calls of "No wonder Fuji always has a limp!" followed by a shout of "Tsubame Gaeshi!" and Momo yelping followed him into the bathroom where he dressed before returning to the circle. Momo had a large lump forming on his forehead.

"Mitsu, your turn," Fuji said, smiling.

"Echizen. Truth or dare?"

A pout crossed Ryoma's face before he said dare. He couldn't back down from a challenge, could he?

"Wear one of Fuji's outfits and sit in Momoshiro's lap for the rest of the game, unless dared otherwise." Everyone could hear the smirk in their captain's voice.

Ryoma sighed irritably as Fuji delightedly dragged him up the stairs and into his and Tezuka's room.

"Ryoma-kun, I have the perfect outfit for you!" The freshman watched in horror as his sempai opened his suitcase and started pulling out an assortment of costumes. The ones he'd seen Fuji-sempai wearing were pulled out first-the nurse outfit, the girl's tennis uniform, the leather dominatrix... ensemble. But Ryoma was horrified to see that there were many more-probably at least ten. How Fuji was able to fit all of that in one suitcase was a mystery-but he'd long suspected that Fuji practiced witchcraft.

The ones he'd seen already were fairly mild in comparison to the rest. And he'd thought the French maid had been bad. There was striped black and white mini-dress with handcuffs attached that Ryoma assumed was a jailbird costume of some sort, a thong bikini (he nearly died picturing Fuji-sempai in that), a cowgirl outfit, complete with lasso and whip, a playboy bunny costume... and the worst of the bunch, a lacy pink bra with matching pink underwear, pink boots in the shape of big fluffy kitty feet, a tail, and a headband with huge pink cat ears.

Was Buchou into bestiality or something?

Ryoma could hardly mask his abject horror as Fuji held up the cat costume. "What do you think, Ryoma-kun? Go put it on, I can't wait to see how you look!"

He almost considered refusing, but he stopped himself and quietly took the costume into the bathroom, for two reasons: one, Fuji would find a way to get him in it anyway, and two, he wasn't going to back down. _Echizen Ryoma is a man, goddamn it!_

However, when he came out of the bathroom, trying his very hardest to cover as much of himself as he could, he didn't feel very manly at all.

 _I am so getting Buchou back for this..._

He placed the bra in Fuji's hands. "I'm not wearing that!" he said, making an attempt to put the authoritative tone Tezuka used into his voice. It was a sad attempt; one could just not be authoritative dressed up as a pink kitten.

"Hm, all right. I suppose it would look rather odd on you anyways, you're just not femme enough." Fuji shrugged and sauntered out the door cockily. Ryoma followed him back down to the circle, trying to stay perfectly in step behind Fuji so he could not be seen. When Fuji sat down Ryoma was left in the open, exposed-until the team's embodiment of a cat glomped him.

Eiji squealed as he latched onto the freshman. He was just too cute! He knew Oishi would be mad at him, but it was worth it-the freshman exuded adorable. "Ochibi!"

"Eiji!" Oishi stood up with a half scowl on his face.

"Oishi, isn't he just so cuddle-able? Nya~!" The red head rubbed his cheek against Ryoma's.

When the scowl on Oishi's face darkened, Eiji let the freshman go and sat back down, allowing Ryoma to see the shock written across Momo's face.

"Ryoma," Momo said, his eyes wide. "You look..."

"Ridiculous? I know."

"So... cute!"

The freshman turned scarlet. "Shut up! I don't!"

Momo pulled Ryoma into his lap. "I'm going to have so much fun with you after this game is over..."

"Momo-sempai!"

Eiji stifled a giggle, and Ryoma glared at him. "I hate you all."

"It's your turn, Echizen."

Ryoma looked thoughtfully at his teammates for a moment, wondering who he could torture. He wanted to get someone who really deserved it, for putting him in this horrible outfit. So, of course, there was Fuji-sempai, but he really didn't want to incur the tensai's wrath. Then there was Tezuka-buchou, who never did much more than give laps and glare a lot, and anyway Tezuka was a fair player. He probably wouldn't be punished. Then again, Momo-sempai was being overly-affectionate and creepy and just as bestiality-loving as Buchou, so Ryoma might get him eventually, but no... this one was really good, and he had to choose the right person.

His lips twitched into a smirk as gold eyes settled on his victim.

He let his eyes flick between each player in the group while calmly saying, "Kikumaru-sempai, sing BoA's 'Everyheart' a capella." He had heard his sempai singing drunkenly often enough to know he sucked and that everyone hated it when he sang, but none of them could say anything mean to Kikumaru Eiji, lest they get hit with the water works. They were all his victims.

"You got it, Ochibi!" Eiji stood up and hopped up on top of the coffee table he had deemed his stage.

"Ikutsu namida wo nagashitara," Eiji belted out, to the rest of the team's dismay. Everyone had firmly jammed their fingers in their ears (besides Oishi, who figured it would be impolite). After over four minutes of horribly off-key singing (Ryoma swore Eiji's voice was akin to that of a dying elephant seal or something), Eiji sat back down, flushed with exertion. "That was fun!" he said happily. "Why do you guys all look so queasy?"

"No reason, Eiji," Oishi said, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's waist. "Good job."

"Thanks, Oishi, nya!" Eiji practically glowed as Oishi's lips pressed against his forehead.

Tezuka and Momo looked at their respective boyfriends, glad that they never had to fake it like Oishi. Ryoma and Fuji both had extremely good singing voices-almost professional level. Not that it was easy to get Ryoma to sing.

"Should Eiji-sempai be allowed to go again, Buchou?" Momo asked, casually drawing a struggling Ryoma into his lap again. "I'm not letting go, brat, so you can quit trying."

Ryoma huffed and jammed a foot somewhere in the region of Momo's crotch, making the power player yelp in pain. "Echizen!"

"Mada mada dane, Sempai."

"Yes, Kikumaru will be allowed to go again," Tezuka's voice cut into their fight.

"Hoi! Hoi!" Eiji pumped a fist into the air. "Hm...Mou...Inui!" He smiled cheerfully at his choice.

"Truth," came the unexpected reply.

"WAH!" Eiji's face scrunched up, but Oishi helpfully whispered a truth into the cat-boy's ear. "Who in this room have you fantasized about doing things with, other than Kaidoh?"

"No one, Kikumaru. Kaoru was the first person male or female to interest me in relationships, and has fulfilled each and every one of my 'fantasies,'" Inui wrapped an arm securely around the smaller boy, who currently resembled a tomato. "Oishi, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Oishi said confidently.

Inui smirked evilly. "What's your favorite toy to use with Kikumaru and why?"

"Well, tennis-"

"Sex toy."

Oishi flushed, then looked at Tezuka. "Do I really have to answer that?"

Tezuka nodded, giving Oishi a sympathetic look. "If not, you'll have to do a penalty dare."

There was a very long pause, during which Oishi considered taking the penalty dare. He looked at Eiji. "Eiji, do you mind...?"

"Hm? Nope! Inui knows practically everything about everyone's sex lives anyway, what's one more thing?"

Oishi was silent for a while. Finally he mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that, Oishi?" Inui said, notebook and pen in hand. "I couldn't hear you. Speak up."

"Cock ring," he said, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Interesting. Why?"

"Because... sometimes... tennis isn't the only place... Eiji lacks stamina..."

There was a moment of silence before the laughter started. Eiji's face was as red as his hair.

"Eiji." Oishi put an arm around his boyfriend. "I'm really sorry."

"Nya, it's okay, Oishi..." Eiji said sadly, burying his face in Oishi's neck. "You had to tell the truth..."

Fuji was the first to smother his giggles and placed a comforting hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Oishi, it's your turn."

"Momo, truth or dare," Oishi asked with an arm still around Eiji.

"Dare!"

Oishi looked at Ryoma for a minute seeing as he hadn't really had a great dare lined up. The freshman looked like he was going to kill something if he had to stay in that spot any longer. "Remove Echizen from your lap."

Momo made a groan of disappointment before lifting the freshman up and out of his lap. "Buchou, could I do one involving two people?" He grinned wickedly.

"I don't see why not..."

"Fuji-sempai and Eiji-sempai, truth or dare?"

Two pairs of blue eyes connected. "Dare!"

"I dare Eiji-sempai to lick icing off of Fuji-sempai!"

Tezuka and Oishi both narrowed their eyes at the underclassman.

"Momo, that's completely inappropriate," Tezuka said, using his Buchou voice. "I rule that-"

"Kunimitsu, you let Inui ask Oishi about his and Eiji's sex life," Fuji gently reminded his boyfriend. "There's no reason to rule against this one. It's sort of cheating, don't you think?"

Tezuka glared at the tensai, who continued smiling. "Fine."

Fuji and Eiji grinned at each other. They didn't get to have this sort of fun often without getting in trouble. It was just so entertaining to watch Tezuka and Oishi get so angry and annoyed, especially when it was so rare for both of them.

"I'll get the icing," Fuji announced, hopping up and heading for the kitchen. He pulled a container from the fridge. "How lucky! It's strawberry flavored, Eiji's favorite."

Fuji and Eiji both grinned at the looks on their boyfriends' faces.

Five minutes later, Fuji was sprawled on the floor, shirtless, strawberry icing spread over his chest. Eiji winked at Tezuka and Oishi before leaning down and swiping Fuji's chest with his tongue.

"Yummy!" he said happily. "Fujiko tastes pretty good, nya."

"Eiji, that tickles!" Fuji giggled.

The captains gave the redhead a glare.

"Aa! Eiji!" Fuji moaned softly, purely to bother their beloved buchous.

The doubles player dipped his head down and suckled his best friend's nipple, taking extra care to remove all traces of the sweet substance.

Even though he did not like the idea of Kikumaru licking his boyfriend, Tezuka had to admit it was very arousing. Because, well, Fuji was Fuji, and he could make anything sexy in Tezuka's opinion, and he knew just how seductive Kikumaru could be. After all, Eiji had come on to him. He looked at Oishi and realized he was no better off; his second was blushing, whether from anger or embarrassment he didn't know. Inui was scribbling away in his notebooks, as expected. Their reactions were just too valuable to let go to waste. Fuji continued to moan and laugh as his best friend lapped at the sugary confection spread across his abdomen. After a few more minutes of the torture Fuji pushed himself off the floor and leaned in towards Eiji. The cat-like boy had some of the pink icing on his cheek. Fuji licked it off with a wolfish grin, Eiji making a purring sound in response.

"Are you sure you guys are just friends?" Momo quirked an eyebrow.

"Of course, Momo," Fuji said, licking icing off Eiji's chin and getting dangerously close to his mouth. "What would give you the idea Eiji and I are anything more than friends?"

Momo would've mentioned that Fuji was currently in Eiji's lap practically grinding him, or the fact that they flirted with each other constantly, or last minute's extremely sexy display, but he knew Fuji was just playing dumb blonde for his own amusement, so Momo didn't say anything.

The ukes took their spots next to their respective boyfriends. "Fuji," Tezuka said exasperatedly, "aren't you going to put your shirt back on?"

Fuji looked down at his bare chest in surprise, as if he'd couldn't believe he'd forgotten it. "Oh! Oh, I would, but... but it's all the way in the kitchen, it's just too far away to really be bothered..."

Tezuka's eye twitched. He found it was doing that quite frequently of late.

"Nya, does this mean Fujiko and me get to ask someone together?"

"Well, I suppose it's only fair," Oishi said. Fuji and Eiji shared a rather frightening, conspiratorial look.

"Kaidoh, truth or dare!" the Dream Pair said in unison.

Kaidoh's pupils narrowed, thinking of all the horrible things they could dare him to do. Then he remembered that Momoshiro had taken a dare. "Dare..." As soon as the word left his mouth he wanted to take it back.

"Go into the closet," Eiji started.

"And then we'll have three people of our choosing go in," Fuji continued.

"And then they have to kiss you!" Eiji smothered his giggles with his hands.

"You have to guess who the three people are." Fuji finished

Kaidoh barely had a moment to think how completely, scarily in sync the two were before the dread set in. Inui-sempai had been his first and only everything, and he'd planned to keep it that way. And now Fuji-sempai and Kikumaru-sempai were doing this to him? He didn't want to kiss anyone else, especially not any of his teammates!

His eyes widened. What if they made that idiot Momoshiro kiss him?

Grudgingly he stood and headed toward the closet, looking anywhere but at Inui's face. He didn't want to see how angry his boyfriend was-or worse, how annoyingly calm.

He sat down, forcing himself to stay away from the numerous mops, brooms, and other cleaning supplies that he wanted to hide amongst. Fuji came in and tugged his bandana down over his eyes, to make sure he didn't know who it was that entered the closet.

The door shut and then opened again as his first tormentor entered. When a gentle hand ran down the side of his face and gripped his chin, a slight shiver ran down his spine. Supple lips pressed to his before a cautious tongue accessed his mouth. A faint sugar taste entered his senses and then everything stopped and the door was quickly opened and shut again. Kaidoh's shoulders suddenly tensed as he realized how much he'd liked it, and it obviously wasn't his Inui-sempai! Inui-sempai's mouth would perpetually taste of Inui juice no matter how many times he brushed his teeth, and gargled with mouthwash.

He wasn't given any more time to think about it as the door opened again.

Kaidoh felt soft hair tickle his face as the person leaned down, something he hadn't felt the first time. He barely registered that thought as the person kissed him, putting his hands on either side of Kaidoh's crossed legs. Kaidoh sighed as a tongue entered his mouth once more, tasting vaguely of tea and honey. Kaidoh was slightly more coherent this time around and was able to take in more details about the way the person kissed-clean, subtle, but not sparse or unsatisfying at all.

Whoever it was ended the kiss by softly brushing his tongue over Kaidoh's lips, then stood to leave. The snakelike boy had a bit more time to consider the first two kisses he'd been given, and thought he'd come up with a reasonable guess for the second person when the closet door opened for the third time.

He hadn't even heard the footsteps come towards him as he was kissed lightly on the cheek.

"Kaoru-nii-chan, why are you in the closet?" Kaidoh pushed the headband off his eyes, bewildered. Ryomoka looked at him with her tired doe-eyes before seating herself in his lap and curling up.

"You can come out now Kaidoh," Fuji poked his head into the closet.

Kaidoh stood up carefully so he wouldn't jostle his small charge before returning to the circle or regulars. "Buchou, may I go put her in bed?"

"Yes." Tezuka didn't make eye contact with him.

Kaidoh walked slowly up the stairs and laid the little girl in his and Inui's bed.

"Kaoru-nii-chan!" Ryomoka said as he was about to leave the room.

Kaidoh looked at her curiously, "What?" He walked back over to her.

"I want a kiss goodnight!" She rubbed at her eyes tiredly.

Kaidoh relented and kissed her forehead, tucking her in before he went back down to his friends.

"Now Kaidoh, who kissed you?"

Kaidoh looked contemplative for a second. He still hadn't figured out who the first person was, though he was now certain in his assumption of the second. The first person had tasted of sugar, which made him think of Kikumaru-sempai, but he remembered how he'd felt the hair against his cheek with the second person and not the first, and Eiji's hair was fairly long. And then it hit him that the only other person who'd taste of sugar would be the only person who kissed Kikumaru on a regular basis-and he had short hair.

"Was the first... Oishi-sempai?" he asked, and Fuji smiled.

"Very good, Kaoru-kun. And the second?"

Kaidoh didn't hesitate this time. "Buchou," he said promptly, earning another pleased look from the tensai.

"Excellent, Kaoru," Inui said as Kaidoh sat next to him, blushing bright red. "I was confident you'd be able to guess them accurately. You'll get a prize later..."

Kaidoh barely kept himself from shuddering at the low tone of Inui's voice.

"Your turn, Kaidoh," Fuji said.

"Kawamura-sempai, truth or dare?" Kaidoh directed at the only person that hadn't been dared in the circle.

"DARE! GREAT-O!" Everyone looked over to see a smirking Echizen, clearly the one responsible for giving Taka-san a tennis racket.

"I dare you to slow dance with Fuji-sempai."

Taka-san froze up a bit. That would be awkward, and Tezuka-buchou wouldn't like it, and admittedly he did have the slightest crush on the tensai.

Fuji walked over to the stereo system and pulled a CD of classical music from the rack. He made sure not to pick a song that was too long, knowing Tezuka was going to throw a fit if any more dares involved him.

Fuji slid his arms around Taka's shoulders as the soft music started playing in the background. He knew Taka had always treated him a bit differently than the rest of the Regulars, and he'd long suspected that the power player had a bit of a crush on him. He always was very sure that Taka was completely straight, which was a bit insulting to his masculinity.

Taka had his arms around Fuji's waist, and they swayed slowly, extremely conscious of the other Regulars watching intently. For lack of anything better to do with it, Fuji rested his head on Taka's shoulder and closed his eyes. It was a nice song, and Taka was a surprisingly good dancer, so he figured he'd enjoy it while he could.

When he and Taka sat back down, Taka with a permanent flush to his cheeks, Eiji stupidly said, "Ne, Fuji, you and Taka-san make a pretty cute couple, nya!"

Tezuka glared at the redhead. "Kikumaru! Twenty laps around the cabin!"

"But we're in the middle of-"

"NOW!"

"And don't forget your forty laps from earlier, Kaidoh," Tezuka finished. He felt much better.

"Nya~!" Eiji whined. Kaidoh hissed and followed him out the door.

"Kunimitsu, that wasn't very nice..." Fuji knitted his eyebrows before slipping out the door as well.

"I guess the game's over then?" Oishi said to no one in particular.

Tezuka answered by getting up and walking up the stairs. Ryoma was quick to follow; he wanted out of the garment Fuji-sempai thought was underwear. Momo darted after him, wanting to catch the first year before he could remove the cat outfit.

Taka, Oishi, and Inui sat on the couch, waiting for the other three regulars to finish with their laps. Kaidoh was in first, only having forty laps. He and Inui were soon curled up in their bed with Ryomoka. Taka fell asleep on the couch, deeming it unsafe to venture into his room while Momo and Ryoma were possibly doing _things_.

Tezuka settled into the almost-scalding water of the hot tub, sighing contentedly as the heat immediately started working the tension out of his back. It had been a stressful day, and he just wanted to relax for once.

Staring up at the stars, he barely heard the front door close. He was snapped out of his reverie by small splashing noises as someone entered the large tub.

He looked up. "Oishi."

"You had the same idea, Tezuka? It's been a long day, hasn't it?"

"Aah," Tezuka answered.

Oishi sighed, "At least nothing's ever boring, though..." The vice captain sank further into the warm water.

"I suppose you are right, but sometimes I could do without the antics," Tezuka said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Mou, but our antics are fun!" Two oh-so-familiar voices chorused through the steam wafting about the hot tub.

Oishi's eyes locked with Tezuka's in a moment of panic as the sounds of two more bodies entering the water put them on alert.

"We think you've been far to controlling lately!" Fuji griped.

"We wanna have fun!" Eiji whined.

"And we intend to make you have fun too!" they said together.

It was honestly starting to creep Tezuka out, how they were talking in sync like that. It didn't seem like they'd planned it out beforehand.

"What... what kind of fun, exactly?" Oishi asked apprehensively.

Fuji seated himself in Oishi's lap, pressing a kiss to Oishi's jaw as his partner in crime did the same to Tezuka. "The kind the four of us can have together," he said earnestly.

Tezuka stared dumbfounded at the top of Eiji's head. It sounded an awful lot like what they were suggesting was a sort of orgy between the four of them, which was a rather disturbing thought. Honestly, if he wasn't so committed to his relationship with Fuji, he would have found all three of them to be worthy sexual partners, but _individually_ , not all at once. Besides, he _was_ committed to his relationship with Fuji, which would make the whole situation rather awkward. He assumed.

"Ne, Buchou," Eiji said seductively, and Tezuka hated how he shuddered at Eiji's tone when he used that title, "we're teenagers, right? Teenagers experiment." Eiji accentuated the last word with a nip at Tezuka's ear.

Fuji smirked, slightly jealous but overall pleased by the fact that Eiji was having an effect on Tezuka. Now he would just have to take care of Oishi.

While Oishi was not mad at the duo, he was not in the least hormonally affected by the idea either. In fact, he was rather upset. All this did was remind him of the earlier incident when Eiji ended up in a heated make-out session with Tezuka.

"Oishi, don't think about it," Fuji's voice cut into his thoughts. "Eiji loves you more than anything in the world. All this is to him is a learning experience where he can see what other people are like. He's only ever been with you, Oishi. You can't really expect to be his only everything, can you?"

Oishi thought about it for a second. What the tensai said was true-he couldn't be so selfish with his partner, could he? He had to stop thinking when Fuji started to kiss his neck. Damn the tensai for being so distracting!

"Oishi," Tezuka said, his voice a bit shaky and distracted as Eiji continued to nibble his ear (he suspected that the pair had told each other their respective boyfriends' weak spots beforehand), "Perhaps-"

"Hai," Oishi agreed. It wasn't hard to say yes when Fuji, who Oishi had to admit was extremely attractive, was kissing him everywhere he could reach.

Fuji and Eiji glanced at each other. "Eiji! They said yes!"

"Yay! We should celebrate, Fujiko!"

Now Tezuka knew they'd planned it out. That was horribly fake acting, but it was probably intended to be, and Tezuka completely lost his train of thought when the two ukes started kissing.

Both semes watched as the two began to really get into things.

Much to Tezuka's surprise, Kikumaru was the one to take the lead without so much as a noise of protest from Fuji. As he began to think about it, though, it wasn't so surprising. The redhead was rather protective and possessive of his best friend. A pleasured cry from his boyfriend pushed the thoughts from his mind and the red-head's fingers pushed into his boyfriend.

The brunette's legs were wrapped tightly around the taller boy's waist as he thrust sporadically against the acrobat's stomach. One of the red-head's arms wrapped around the smaller boy's back to support him and keep him from arching back into the water and drowning himself. It seemed he was also dead set on putting a hickey on the tensai's neck. His left hand wound down to prepare his friend-the only question was for whom?

Fuji moaned into Eiji's chest at the myriad of sensations he was experiencing. Eiji was excellent at multi-tasking, he vaguely thought, but next moment his mind was wiped blank as the finger inside him hit his prostate and pleasure washed over him.

"It's not much of a foursome if you two aren't participating," Eiji commented. "I might have to take care of Fujiko all by myself."

Fuji chuckled. "Not that you'd mind."

"Mm... I've always wondered what it'd be like to seme somebody." The redhead winked at Tezuka and Oishi. "So, no takers? He's a fine specimen, this one-"

Tezuka was torn. Fuji was his boyfriend, after all, and he wasn't fond of the idea of the tensai sleeping with someone else, but it wasn't technically like cheating, and he had no doubt that watching would be incredibly arousing.

Eiji removed his fingers and lifted the tensai, "Can I, Fujiko?" He felt the need to ask permission even though they had talked everything over beforehand.

"You'd better do something," Fuji growled into his best friend's neck.

Kikumaru nipped the shorter boy's ear and lowered him.

Oishi's head was spinning. It had never occurred to him that maybe Eiji wanted to try being seme, or that he'd want to do these sorts of things with Seigaku's tensai. And now that it was being played out in front of him he was just floored. He was no stranger to the flushed look of pleasure on Eiji's face, but the look of complete trust and vulnerability on the tensai's was certainly something he'd never been given the opportunity to see. Unconsciously he moved closer to the duo. He didn't even realize he had moved until his hand reached out to smooth Fuji's hair back.

Fuji looked up at Oishi, his face flushed with pleasure as Eiji slowly pushed inside him, and smiled. He reached a hand up to Oishi's cheek, coaxing him downward, and gave him a sweet, but not at all chaste, kiss. Briefly Oishi wondered if it was okay to like it so much, the feeling of someone else's lips against his own that weren't Eiji's, but he disregarded the thought. Eiji didn't seem to mind, and he and Fuji were currently doing a lot more than kissing.

"Tezuka," Eiji breathed, barely able to think coherently as he was hit by wave after wave of pleasure every time he thrust into the tensai. "Do something."

So far Tezuka hadn't done much more than watch, somewhere between horror and arousal-his whole body was a little numb, and he hadn't really tried moving. It was just that this was probably the oddest situation he'd ever been in, and he wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

Eiji grabbed Tezuka's hand and yanked him closer, to the buchou's chagrin. "You can touch me, you know," he whispered, bringing the hand he was holding to his chest.

Tezuka looked from Eiji, his hips thrusting forward into Fuji, to Oishi, Fuji's hand down his swim shorts and still kissing the tensai, and decided that it was high time he stopped being so stubborn.

Tezuka leaned down and gave the smaller boy a searing kiss. His hands drifted to the redhead's waist and settled there. If the devious duo wanted to play games, he would play too. He pressed his hips against the lithe boy's side.

Fuji was absolutely thrilled their plan had gone as well as it did. He had to admit Oishi was a fantastic kisser, if a bit nervous about it being someone other than Eiji. The problem was quickly rectified, though, when his hand found its way into the fukubuchou's swimming trunks. His current issue was that Eiji was a much better seme than he anticipated and the tensai was quickly coming to the edge.

Eiji's thrusting slowed a bit as Tezuka's kiss clouded his mind. Now he knew why Fujiko was such a great person to get lessons from. Eiji had gotten kissing lessons from his best friend back in their second year when he first admitted he was attracted to Oishi. Before their first date he had asked Fuji how to kiss, knowing he had been in such situations with a certain bespectacled brunette. He could see the similarities in their actions now that he was sober. Both of them were great partners, deft and satisfying, but while Tezuka was all clean lines and stable thoughts, Fuji was swirling unpredictability and addicting chaos.

Oishi had to use the wall of the hot tub to support himself, his knees having given out the second Fuji's hand gripped his member. He laid his head on Fuji's chest as the pleasure all but overwhelmed rubbed himself against Eiji, groaning lowly against the acrobat's lips. Eiji put his hand on the back of the captain's neck, deepening the kiss as he sped up his thrusts again.

"Ngh- Eiji... Stop for a minute?" Fuji asked with glazed eyes. He was in an extremely uncomfortable position at the moment. Eiji stopped at his friend's request, albeit reluctantly. Fuji turned to face away from the acrobat and braced himself against the wall of the hot tub, trapping Oishi between his arms. Eiji pushed back in fairly quickly and the pace resumed.

Oishi slipped a hand beneath Fuji to reciprocated the pleasure he was receiving when he heard Eiji cry out in climax. Fuji was soon to follow, the instinctive tightening of his hand setting off Oishi. Fuji collapsed onto Oishi's chest, his breathing coming in short gasps. Eiji pulled out of him and leaned against Tezuka, exhausted.

"Ne, Mitsu..." Fuji said breathily, "you didn't come..."

Tezuka shook his head slightly.

Fuji and Eiji glanced at each other, then smirked.

"Well, you know, Eiji and I put on quite a show for you two," Fuji said.

"It's only fair you return the favor, nya," Eiji added.

"What, you mean-" Oishi gestured to himself and then to Tezuka, and the two ukes nodded. He flushed. He hadn't minded so much with Fuji, but Tezuka?

In the back of his mind it bothered Tezuka a bit that Oishi was so apprehensive to the idea. Without another word he took his second's wrist and pulled him flush against his body, the rough material of his own swimming trunks brushing Oishi's hypersensitive groin.

Oishi shuddered and leaned his forehead against Tezuka's clavical. "T-Tezuka..." He could say no more as his mouth was plundered by the taller boy's.

"Mitsu, take your shorts off," Fuji quipped from the sidelines, his head rested peacefully against the junction of Kikumaru's neck and shoulder.

Tezuka quickly pulled the garment off and sat in the corner opposite the uke twosome, Oishi sitting in his lap nervously.

"Relax, Oishi," Eiji said. "Tezuka's not having any problems."

Oishi closed his eyes tightly as cool lips traveled down his neck and chest. It was odd to be doing this with Tezuka of all people-not that he found him unattractive, quite the opposite, but for one thing, he and Tezuka had been friends since their first year of junior high and had never done much more physically than give each other friendly pats on the shoulder. And for another, he was quite sure Tezuka had taken the dominant role, which had always been Oishi's job when he was with Eiji.

He really couldn't bring himself to complain about it, though. It was new and strange, yes, but it was also rather nice-having someone else take care of him for a change. Slowly he let himself relax under Tezuka's ministrations, thrusting his hips forward. Tezuka groaned as their erections rubbed against each other.

Tezuka was surprised he was enjoying the situation so much. He knew it would be different than with Fuji, who was a tease and had his own control over the situation at all times whether anyone believed that or not, or Eiji, who was rather inexperienced and curious. But Oishi had completely surrendered himself. He knew Oishi was a seme, that was quite obvious, and it just had never occurred to him that maybe the polite fukubuchou wouldn't mind being seme-d. Out of habit he began to release a string of husky German words. Oishi stopped and sat still, trying to decode the garbled speech coming from his captain.

"Tezuka?" He didn't pay mind. "Tezuka?"

"Kunimitsu!" With Fuji's voice the taller brunette snapped out of his reverie. "Mitsu, Shuu-chan

can't understand you..."

"Fuji, please refrain from calling me that," Oishi mumbled with a blush.

"Es tut mir leid." Tezuka waved a hand through the water before realizing he was still speaking German. "My apologies, Oishi."

Oishi brushed it off with a shake of his head and leaned in to capture Tezuka's lips again. They sat like that for a while, Tezuka's hands roaming Oishi's body, and the fukubuchou was completely content. That is, until he felt a finger push inside him.

Oishi squeaked indignantly. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry." Tezuka removed his hand at once. "I was presumptuous."

"No, it-" Oishi flushed. "It's fine. Sorry."

Fuji lifted his head from Eiji's shoulder and grinned at his friend. "I wasn't expecting this."

"Me neither, nya. It'll be fun to watch..."

"Are you sure?" Tezuka's eyes bored into Oishi's

"H-hai...?" It almost seemed as if he wasn't.

"If you don't want to, I won't, Oishi," Tezuka whispered into his ear.

Oishi shuddered. He really didn't think Tezuka had any idea of the effect he was having on him. Tezuka began to kiss him again but was more reassuring in his actions than anything else. Even if Oishi wouldn't directly say it, Tezuka knew he was on edge and nervous now, and he was doing all that he knew to do to settle the already jumpy fukubuchou down. He nipped along his second's upper chest and shoulders, eyes flicking up to lock with Fuji's for a spilt second.

The tensai raised a suggestive eyebrow and nodded encouragingly, and Tezuka himself was surprised at how angry it made him. Five minutes ago Fuji had been screwing Kikumaru, and now he was all for Tezuka having sex with someone else. Was nothing sacred? Didn't Fuji feel any jealousy at seeing his boyfriend in this situation?

Oishi gently prodded his shoulder, and Tezuka realized he had stopped. "Ah... sorry," he said, blinking. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure he wanted to do this anymore.

"Something wrong, Mitsu?" Fuji asked.

"I..."

"Nya, Buchou what's wrong?" Eiji moved Fuji out of his lap.

Tezuka sighed and shook his head a bit before leaning back and gazing momentarily at the rather awkward, Oishi slid off his friend's lap and stared at his knees, not really knowing what to do and thinking it was his fault. After all, why would Tezuka want to be with him if he could be with Fuji?

With a sigh Tezuka sat up straight and looked Fuji square in the eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

Fuji cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"This." He gestured vaguely at the hot tub. "This... foursome thing. Why?"

"It sounded fun." The tensai shrugged. "What's this all about, Mitsu?"

Tezuka ignored him. "It... it doesn't bother you at all. Seeing me with someone else."

"Kunimitsu," Fuji said exasperatedly, "I know you love me, and I know you won't ever feel that way about someone else. And you know I feel the same why about you. So it's not a big deal."

"No," Tezuka argued. "It is a big deal. This shouldn't be necessary. You shouldn't need someone else to... satisfy you."

"I don't. Mitsu, I didn't do this because you aren't enough for me, I just thought it might be fun to experiment a bit, get outside our comfort zone."

"But how could you possibly get the same pleasure out of it when it's not with the person you love?" Looking around, Tezuka realized that Oishi and Kikumaru had left, not wanting to be caught in the middle of their argument. He sighed. "Syusuke..."

Meanwhile Oishi and Kikumaru were snuggled together on a bench on the front porch watching the stars; both tennis players were very upset.

"Eiji, what's wrong with me?" Oishi muttered and leaned his head over to rest on his uke's shoulder.

"Nya, what do you mean, Oishi?"

"I mean what's wrong with me...Tezuka didn't mind being so...friendly with you, and he obviously likes being with Fuji...Am I not pretty enough?"

Eiji had to shove down a giggle at that. He knew he and Fuji were considered to be more feminine, but Oishi was definitely masculine. The thought of labeling him as pretty...well, it spoke for itself. "Oishi, nya, it's not you. Tezuka is just being unsure of himself right now..." Eiji tried to reason. A shudder ran through his doubles partner. "Oi, we should go inside before one of us gets sick." Eiji hopped up and led Oishi into the warm cabin.

"Kunimitsu, I don't get the same pleasure out of being with them that I do with you. It's different..." Fuji trailed off.

"Different in what way?" A demanding tone slipped its way into the captain's voice.

"With them it was just sexual pleasure," the tensai started. He stood and waded through the water so he could sit next to Tezuka. "Just pleasure you can get from anything. It goes so much deeper than that when I'm with you."

Tezuka frowned as a small hand was slipped into his own. "Then there was no point in it."

"Mitsu, can't you just let it be for once?"

"No."

"Come on, Echizen, don't you think you're being a bit ridiculous...?"

"No. Go away."

"It's not that big a deal, I just-"

"You just took pictures of me in this stupid hideous thing!" Ryoma yelled through the bathroom door, where he'd taken refuge after Momo had snuck up on him with that stupid camera. "Pictures that are on Fuji-sempai's camera, which means I can expect them to be on the internet in a matter of days. Go. Away."

"Come on, Echizen, I'm not asking you for sex or anything, I just want you to come out of-"

"I'm never having sex with you again!"

Momo winced, but he knew it was an empty threat. "We'll see about that..."

"Kunimitsu, you can't say you didn't like it," Fuji smirked to himself. Tezuka began to say something but realized the tensai had him. "Look, as Eiji said, we're teenage boys, and we experiment. It's perfectly normal. You can't say that you wouldn't mind doing all sorts of naughty things to the others on our team." Fuji giggled as a slight blush came across Tezuka's cheeks.

Eiji hugged Oishi protectively as they snuggled under their sheets. Oishi had said that because Ryomoka was asleep just a few feet away they couldn't do anything. Eiji made a face at doing anything in the same room as the team's honorary...Eiji couldn't think of the word, daughter or sister maybe? He shrugged it off and continued snuggling.

He heard the door open and poked his head over the covers, still wary of what that stupid little house-diary said about giggling boxes and forest people. When he didn't see anyone he ducked back under the blankets until a hand fell onto his shoulder. He yelped and a second hand found its place over his mouth. He opened his eyes to see the iridescent blue orbs belonging to his best friend.

"Come on." He was dragged out of the bed, wondering the whole time when Fujiko had gotten strong enough to drag him at all.

"But Oish-"

"Oishi's right here," Fuji smiled gently to his friend.

Eiji allowed himself to be pushed onto the bed. He noted absently that it was bigger then the one he and Oishi were sharing in the other room.

A gasp reached his ears and he looked over to see Tezuka had found his boyfriend's weak spot.

"Kaoru-nii-chan. Kaoru-nii-chan, wake up!"

Kaidoh opened one eye tiredly. "What is it, Ryomoka?"

"Is Shuu-nii okay?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sitting up.

"He was making funny noises like he was hurt and it woke me up!" Ryomoka whispered frantically.

Kaidoh blinked in confusion. "Are you sure-" Kaidoh paused as he heard a faint groan through the wall and flushed. "Ah, Ryomoka, I don't think you have anything to worry about. It... sounds like Buchou is taking good care of him."

"But Eiji-nii and Oishi-nii are gone too! Maybe they're in trouble like Shuu-nii... is Mitsu-nii taking care of all three of them?"

"Er..." Kaidoh flushed at what that innocent statement implied. "Maybe."

"Okay... night, Kaoru-nii-chan!"

"Night, Ryomoka."

Kaidoh laid down again and was surprised to see Inui's eyes open. "I believe there is a seventy-three percent chance that Tezuka is, in fact, 'taking care of all three of them'," he said quietly so Ryomoka wouldn't hear.

"...No way. Buchou wouldn't..."

"Fuji can be quite persuasive. Trust me, Kaoru. Data doesn't lie."

Kaidoh's pupils pinpointed, and he rested his head back on Inui's shoulder, shutting his eyes tightly as if in pain. In all actuality he was trying to erase the image from his mind for all eternity.

A/N: Katie: I tried to stop it. Did you see me trying to stop it? But she _wouldn't let it go._ A foursome. A _foursome!_ I hated it. I hated writing the whole scene. I took the first out I could, but she ruined it. And Fuji's arguments are _ridiculous,_ but that's Scarlet for you, she has the logic of a retarded monkey on crack, I swear, and when she's writing she can make Tezuka agree with him if she wants… *grumbles*

Scarlet: You and your monogamy! u.u Of course I couldn't let it go after what YOU did to poor Eiji, you bitch…(I don't _really_ mean that! I love you~!) That was why I started the whole thing ya'know? PAYBACK *cackles Hiruma-style* And I am not a retarded monkey or crack! I am a retarded kitty who was trapped in a bag or catnip for half her life .….

Katie: HOW DID YOU MISS THE HONEYSYN REFERENCE. WHAT THE EFF. HOW CAN I EVEN CONSIDER YOU THE CHARLES TO MY METIS ANYMORE. GOD, SCARLET.


	7. The Notebook Buchou Bitch Slap!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook Chapter 7—Buchou Bitch Slap!

The Notebook Chapter 7—Buchou Bitch Slap!

A/N: Oh, _this._ The crack is on the verge of dying at the end of this chapter. It comes back to life eventually, but it is stomped on and thrown in front of a bus in this chapter and the next. I'm very sorry. We needed some sort of plot, I guess.

 **P.S. to Alice Melan, if you're still reading, and we really hope you are:** You read HoneySyn, right? What'd you think of the ending? We, on the whole, were not satisfied.

Disclaimer: We don't own _this_ Seigaku. We own the second generation Seigaku we created because we are ridiculously obsessed with this series and Tezuka needed a team to coach in our arc series thing that may eventually be written, we're not sure. (Watch for it. In the next few years. O.o)

Warnings: Tezuka does something… well, not out of character, as he's done it before, just not to this particular person. Um… there's really nothing else to warn against. Oh my gosh, you guys, no crossdressing this chapter!

The next morning Oishi awoke feeling warm and content. Birds were chirping outside the window, so he supposed that was what had woken him up. He began to shift to his other side when he felt something move in a place it shouldn't have been. Oishi froze as memories from the night before flooded his mind. The vice captain yelped and haphazardly pulled away from Tezuka, who was still inside his second, but his yelp ended in a shuddering moan as his prostate was nudged. His hands gripped for something and landed on soft skin.

A delicate hand reached up to brush honey-brown out of crystalline blue eyes, and a soft voice asked, "What's wrong, Oishi?"

Oishi flushed darkly. "N-nothing. Um... I think I'm going to-"

"Oh, won't you stay?" Fuji asked sweetly. He leaned up to press a short kiss to Oishi's lips. "Eiji might not like it if he wakes up and you aren't here..."

"Uh, right." Oishi laid back down, wriggling restlessly. His awareness of the length inside him made laying still fairly uncomfortable, as his mind was yelling at him to pull away and his body was willing him to push back against Tezuka.

Ryoma closed his eyes tightly at the stream of sunlight coming through the window toward his face. He tried to snuggle into his pillow but realized with disdain that he didn't _have_ a pillow-in fact, he wasn't in bed at all. His whole body was stiff from the position he'd slept in against the hard fiber glass of the bath tub.

He stood, stretching out his sore muscles. He opened the bathroom door, hoping that maybe he could get some sleep in his bed before he was forced awake by his sempais, and yelped when Momo fell through the doorway, snoring loudly.

"Idiot," Ryoma muttered, stepping over his boyfriend.

It seemed a half-awake Tezuka was to make his decision for him, because a strong arm wrapped tighter around him and pulled him flush against the captain's body. Oishi bit his lip to stifle the moan that was about to rip from his throat. Fuji watched in amusement and snuggled back up against Eiji, who had a leg and arm thrown over him.

Tezuka muttered something incoherent onto the back of the vice-captain's neck before whispering, "Good morning," quietly enough as not to wake the redhead.

"Tezuka... You're...um.." Oishi moaned as Tezuka twitched inside him. A smirk lazily crossed the captain's face as he pulled from Oishi.

"Mou," Eiji groaned as he woke, "I'm hungry!"

Fuji laughed before sitting up and saying, "Let's get dressed and see what there is for breakfast, ne?"

"NO! I wanna see the rest of my nii-chans!" Ryomoka burst into the room on that note, making all the aforementioned nii-chans scramble to make sure everything was covered. The girl hopped up onto the bed.

"Ryomoka-" Kaidoh stopped, seeing that she had made it there before him and was already in the room. "I'm so sorry, semp-"

"Don't worry about it, Kaidoh," Fuji said softly, his usual smiley-mask on his face.

Kaidoh lifted Ryomoka into his arms and hurried out of the room, his face bright red.

Eiji yawned, stretching his arms above his head. "Maybe we should take a shower first, nya. I feel kinda gross."

"Mm..." Fuji fell back against the pillows. "Maybe Eiji has a point. We don't want to go down smelling like sex."

"Everyone will know what happened by lunchtime anyway," Oishi said, heaving a sigh. "Um, who gets the shower first?"

Fuji raised a suggestive eyebrow.

"No. I mean..." Oishi flushed. "It was... fun the one time, but I don't think..."

The tensai stood, completely naked, and bent over to grab a pair of jeans from his suitcase while the other three watched with varying degrees of discretion. "It's okay, Oishi. I was only kidding."

Eiji looked at his best friend curiously before hopping off the bed and onto Fuji. "Ne, Fujiko-chan, can I come?" he purred into the smaller brunette's ear, seeing his chance to further piss off the captains.

"NO!" came the shouted answer from behind them.

Eiji stuck out his tongue playfully and kissed Fuji on the cheek. Moments later he was on his boyfriend's lap, thinking he would be quite content until a streak of pain ran through him. He yelped. Oishi went into full-blown mother hen mode. "Eiji, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Questions spilled from his mouth, only to be halted by the redhead's fingers on his lips.

"Oishi, don't worry. He's probably just sore. Ne, Eiji-kun?" Fuji wrapped the acrobat in a warm hug.

"Come on." Tezuka had moved from the bed and began to pull Fuji away from Eiji, towards him, when a sheet of sakura petals, pastel colored circles, and a pink background fell around them. They didn't react and simply straightened after a moment to leave the room and shower.

Oishi looked to Eiji. "What just happened?"

"How come they get to be so pretty, nya?" Eiji pouted.

"It just disappeared... is that even physically possible?"

"Nya, Oishi, it's Tezuka and Fuji, they can do anything." Eiji knelt by the bed, grabbing his clothes so he had something to wear to the shower. He pulled on his boxers. "Ne, Oishi?"

"Hm?"

"I had fun last night. But..." Eiji climbed into Oishi's lap and kissed him. "I like it best when I'm with Oishi."

Oishi smiled. "Me too, Eiji."

"Oishi, I don't like being seme..."

Oishi laughed a bit. "I don't plan on being uke anytime in the near future."

"That's why Oishi's my perfect seme match, nya!" Eiji hugged his partner. He giggled as a thought absently darted through his mind.

"What?"

"I was just thinking about how wrong it would be for us to have sex, here, in Buchou and Fujiko's bed..." Eiji trailed off.

Oishi's face turned bright red.-

Tezuka and Fuji stood in front of the bathroom door, looking down at their kohai. "Should we wake him?" Fuji asked.

"Did Echizen leave him there all night, is the better question..." Tezuka scowled. He felt a certain degree of companionship with the dark-haired kohai. After all, he was no stranger to disagreeable ukes.

"Ne, Momo-chan? Momoshiro...MOMO!" Fuji shook the boy's shoulders.

"Fuji-sempai... why am I on the floor?"

"I think there are other things you should be worrying about. Perhaps how long you have left with your boyfriend before I decide he doesn't get to live anymore," Fuji replied cheerfully.

"...Huh?"

"Oh, nothing. Kunimitsu, I'll join you in just a minute, but I have something I need to do. Go ahead without me."

Tezuka's eyes narrowed slightly. "Syusuke..."

"Be right back." Fuji stood on his tiptoes and kissed Tezuka lightly on the cheek.

Once he was outside, Fuji pulled his cell phone from his back pocket (he picked it up off the counter on his way out) and dialed a number. He combed his fingers through his hair, as if the person he was calling could see him through the phone.

"Speak."

"Mr. President. It's Fuji. I have news."

"You may proceed."

"Echizen and Kikumaru are officially eligible to be inducted."

"Fabulous. I shall set a time and date for the ceremony and send the memo out. You will be responsible for bringing them, Fuji."

"Yes, Mr. President."

Momo yawned and entered the room he shared with Ryoma and Kawamura, stretching in a vain attempt to work the kinks out of his muscles. He grinned as he spied a small lump under the blankets on his shared bed. He padded over to the bed and kneeled over the little lump.

"Ryoma-kun~!" The sing-song voice that reached Ryoma's ears made him want to punch upwards at the looming shadow that was his boyfriend.

"Get off!" Ryoma grumbled, rolling over into the fetal position. Momo pulled the blanket away from his boyfriend's head and leaned down, sticking his tongue in the small shell-like ear.

"MOMO-SEMPAI!" Ryoma shouted, pushing Momo away and falling off the bed in the process. "Gross!" The freshman rubbed at his ear furiously.

Momo was in a fit of laughter on the bed.

"Kaoru-nii-chan?" Ryomoka asked, looking up at Kaidoh with her big brown eyes.

"Hm?"

"Why were Syuu-nii, Mitsu-nii, Eiji-nii, and Oishi-nii all together in bed like that?"

Kaidoh nearly choked on his eggs. "Um."

"They weren't wearing clothes, so doesn't that mean they were doing grown-up things? But Mommy says you should only do grown-up things with one person!"

"They weren't-well-sometimes... sometimes when you're very committed to the person you love, it's fun to... experiment."

"What's 'esperiment'?"

"Try new things."

"So... they did grown-up things together because they were bored with doing grown-up things with just each other?"

"Not... bored..." Kaidoh frowned. "Well, you'll learn when you're older."

"But I want to know now!"

"Your turn!" Fuji called as he reentered his bedroom, Tezuka a few steps behind him.

"Hoi hoi!" Eiji bounced up and glomped his friend before giving him a kiss and dragging his obviously irritated boyfriend from the room.

Tezuka, now dressing, was mulling over the previous night's activities. After all, he had been hypocritical with Fuji, saying that he was sick of the flirting before they left for Ryomoka's and then having a foursome that night. He wanted to hit his head against a wall repeatedly. Hypocrisy aside, he was trying to predict how this would effect the team.

Fuji was sitting on the bed, his thoughts, shockingly enough, following a pattern quite similar to that of Tezuka's.

Eiji moaned into Oishi's mouth as the vice captain's fingers tweaked his nipple. He was pressed up against the wall of the shower, his legs wrapped around Oishi's waist. He frowned, noticing that Oishi was being more forceful with him than usual, and then he giggled. "Oishi really did miss being seme, ne?"

Oishi didn't answer. His lips traveled down Eiji's neck, stopping at his shoulder to gently bite at the tanned skin, making the redhead gasp. Disentangling his hand from Eiji's hair, Oishi reached down and carefully slid his finger into the tight entrance.

The burn of penetration was a new sensation to the little acrobat; everyone who had taken him-Oishi, Fujiko, and Buchou-was always very gentle with the boy, as he'd only lost his virginity (or "cherry" as the tensai so eloquently liked to put it) two days prior to this one.

Eiji yelped as Oishi thrust his hips particularly hard. Oishi's head snapped up, realization becoming clear in his eyes, and he halted in his lapse of self-control. "Nya, that one hurt, Shuu-chan..." Eiji pouted as he lifted his gaze to meet his boyfriend's.

"I'm sorry, Eiji..." he paused, "Did you just call me Shuu-chan?" Oishi wrinkled his nose at the name.

"Yeah, why? Do you not like it?" Eiji cocked his head to the side.

"No, no, it's not that... Just, you call Fuji that sometimes..."

"Mou, sorry, I didn't realize-" He was cut off by lips.

"Let's not discuss anymore..." Oishi huffed under his breath as he once again realized how nice his boyfriend felt around his cock.

"'Kay..." Eiji whimpered as the thrusting resumed, this time more gentle and Oishi-like.

Later, after the shower, when he and Fuji were alone in the tensai's bedroom, Eiji confessed that he was worried about things with Oishi.

"He was being really, really rough, Fujiko," he said disdainfully. "Like, it actually hurt. Oishi's always been really gentle with me, even before we started having sex. At first it was kinda cute because he was all worried after being uke for Tezuka, but..."

Fuji squeezed Eiji's hand affectionately. "I wouldn't worry, Eiji."

"But then," the redhead continued insistently, "I called him Shuu-chan, and he actually got upset over it because I sometimes call you that! I can't even remember the last time I called you Shuu-chan, nya!"

"Sounds to me like Oishi's jealous."

"Because you and me-?" Eiji blushed. "But... but we all... I mean, Oishi did it with you and Tezuka too!"

Fuji shrugged. "You and I have been acting pretty... close lately. Maybe he's worried."

"He's being stupid. I love you, Fujiko, but not like that." Eiji grinned. "I can't help it that you're great in bed."

"Well, something did come out of that…" Fuji looked at his best friend with an innocent tilt to his head. "You found out 'hot shower sex' isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Eiji laughed and rested his head against the tensai's shoulder. He couldn't do anything about the jealously between his best friend and his lover, and it upset the little red head. Oishi was his friend, boyfriend, lover, and doubles partner. Fuji was his best friend, confidante, partner in crime, and now they had other benefits to go with that. Of course he loved them both! Oishi was his perfect everything and Fuji was his best friend.

"Fujiko... hug me?" Eiij flashed the tensai a pair of watery puppy eyes.

Fuji embraced his redheaded friend with a small laugh. It was really unnecessary to pull out the eyes to get the tensai to hug him.

Eiji snuggled into Fuji's arms and leaned his head up to press his lips against the other's. It was a short kiss, but Oishi just happened to open the door right in the middle of it, and when they pulled apart, he stared at them for a moment.

"Hi, Oishi," Fuji said innocently. "Eiji and I were just having a chat."

Oishi blinked once, twice, three times, and then he turned and left. Eiji sighed. "Maybe we shouldn't do this stuff anymore..."

"Eiji, I like kissing you. But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you and it doesn't mean you're in love with me. I think Oishi's struggling with that, but he'll realize that it's okay after he talks to Tezuka. Which I'm sure is what he's doing right now."

Tezuka rubbed his temples. Oishi had been ranting about his problems with Eiji for ten minutes, and it was beginning to give Tezuka a headache.

"And I walked in and he was kissing Fuji, and... and shouldn't we only be doing that kind of thing when we're all together or something? Logically-"

The buchou rolled his eyes and pulled Oishi forward to kiss him. "Did that make you feel like you were cheating on Eiji?"

"Well, not really, since I didn't have any say in it-"

Tezuka sighed and leaned in to capture Oishi's lips again, wrapping his arms around his vice-captain's waist and pulling him closer. Oishi was still for a moment before he kissed back, making a small sound in the back of his throat as Tezuka's tongue traced his lips.

"Eiji's not worried about this because he trusts you and he knows you love him," Tezuka murmured. "Let it be."

"Fujiko, how long will I be sore?" Eiji whined as he tried to get comfortable without hurting himself.

Fuji laughed a bit before helping the younger of the two to situate himself between his legs. "Settle down, Eiji. The more you move the more it'll hurt and the longer it'll be sore," Fuji explained.

Eiji huffed and laid his head on Fuji's chest, planning on dozing off for a little bit. He opened his eyes again when he felt soft lips coaxing his open. He melted against the tensai, mewling when they broke apart.

Fuji laughed again. "I told you I liked kissing you."

"But Oishi-"

"Oishi's fine. He's with Tezuka."

"But how do you-"

"Tensai sixth sense!" Fuji winked, making his best friend laugh.

"Nya, Fujiko-chan has a comfy lap!" Eiji declared, snuggling the brunette.

"Eiji, don't wiggle like that!" A slight color rose to the smaller boy's cheeks.

Eiji grinned lecherously. "Ne, Fujiko, are you getting haaaaaaaaaaard?" He cooed out the word in a teasing manner.

"Minx," Fuji muttered, leaning in for another kiss. Eiji deepened it immediately, sliding his tongue into the tensai's mouth and turning so he could straddle Fuji's lap. He purposely wriggled his hips, giggling at Fuji's moan.

The tensai pushed his hand between them to rub against the taller's crotch in reprisal. Eiji bit his lip in a vain attempt at stifling his moan, not wanting Fuji to have the satisfaction.

Oishi sighed and nodded; he was being silly about this. Tezuka had come to accept Fuji's habit of flirting with the entire Kantou tennis circuit; certainly he could deal with his little acrobat having a side relationship with Fuji right?

 _No..._ griped the voice in Oishi's head; the voice had a jealous streak a mile wide. The jealous little voice wanted to keep Eiji locked up in a little cage where only Oishi could see him, where the tensai's wandering hands would never ever touch him.

Tezuka must have sensed the dark thoughts in his second's head because he kissed him harshly in warning. 'None of my team is to disappear or be bodily harmed' read the look he received after the lip lock.

Oishi sighed, resting his head on Tezuka's shoulder. "I just don't understand why... why I'm not good enough."

"I'm sure that's not it."

"Then why? It's not normal for couples to have relationships on the side. Obviously I'm not enough to... satisfy him."

Tezuka was silent for a moment. "I don't know. I don't understand exactly why Fuji is so intent on Kikumaru, either, but I know that if I asked him to choose, he would choose me. He and Kikumaru are just... in a phase. Eventually they'll grow tired of it, I'm sure."

"How far do we let them go though Tezuka?"

"They're certainly not allowed to have sex," Tezuka snorted. Oishi had to laugh at the tone of Tezuka's voice.

"You don't think they would, would they?" Oishi asked.

"I don't think so, but..." Tezuka trailed off, his eyes flitted to the door of Oishi's room.

"We should go make sure..." Oishi said, following the bespectacled boy's line of sight.

They stood and left, walking down the hall to Tezuka and Fuji's bedroom. Upon hearing vague moans coming through the door, Tezuka didn't hesitate to open the door without knocking.

The first thing he noticed was Fuji, laying on his back, propped up on his elbows, his head thrown back. Then he noticed Eiji bent in front of him, the red head bobbing up and down.

Oishi cleared his throat.

Eiji started, and Fuji yelped in pain. "O-Oishi! I-wasn't-"

"You _bit_ me!" Fuji complained, wincing.

"Nya, I didn't _mean_ to! Oishi-"

Tezuka grabbed Fuji by the arm and dragged him off the bed. "I think we need to lay down some ground rules," he said warily as the tensai zipped up his jeans.

"Ground rules for what?"

"For this little thing you two have going," Oishi said. "I'll go along with it, but there are some things neither of us will tolerate."

Fuji shrugged. "No sex unless you two are around, right?"

"I'd honestly prefer you left it at kissing," Tezuka said. "What you were doing a moment ago is over the line."

Fuji pouted.

"That's my fault, Buchou." Eiji flushed appropriately and looked towards the floor.

Fuji wrapped an arm around the acrobat's waist, murmuring, "Eiji, don't-"

"I'm sorry, Buchou, Oishi..."

"Kikumaru, wait until we finish," Tezuka interrupted his apology.

"Hai," Eiji muttered with a darker shade of red flashing into his cheeks.

Tezuka began again, "We are both uncomfortable with your relationship, but will tolerate this phase..."

"Phase?" Fuji's eyes opened, an icy blue fire raging within them.

Tezuka was a bit taken aback at the unexpected reaction. "Well...yes..."

"This is not a phase, Kunimitsu. I love Eiji! He's my best friend!" The tensai was enraged. Eiji was his friend, his best friend, and these 'rules' the semes were dishing out to taper them were really making him mad. Fuji Syusuke was _not_ tapered.

"Syusuke, you can't possibly want to carry on with this _permanently?"_ Tezuka's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Why not? We're not hurting anything."

Tezuka raised an eyebrow. "You really don't think this is difficult for Oishi and me?"

"Eiji and I didn't have a problem when you were fucking Oishi last night!" Fuji said viciously.

The slap echoed in the room. Eiji's eyes widened as his petite friend was knocked into the wall by the force of their captain's strike.

Fuji caught himself against the wall, rather than sliding to the floor, with reflex built on years of tennis. His hair hung into his face, casting a dark shadow.

"Did we have a problem watching you two together? Did we, Tezuka?" Fuji's face burned with shame and anger.

Oishi reached to grab Eiji's sleeve to pull him out of the room but said sleeve was pulled out of his reach. "No, Oishi... No..." A frown marred the normally bright and cheery face of the acrobat. Eiji stepped forward and wrapped Fuji in a hug. Though it wasn't reciprocated he knew it was deeply appreciated, as it gave the brunette a chance to compose himself.

The door slammed shut, and Oishi stared at it, stunned. His gaze fell on Fuji and Eiji. He was a little surprised to see that the tensai was crying, his face buried in Eiji's neck. Quietly he exited the room, knowing he was neither needed, or wanted.

"He hit me," Fuji whispered. "He really-he's never hit me before, never..."

"It's okay, Fujiko." Eiji hugged his friend tighter. "Tezuka was just angry. You know he's not usually like that..."

"I know. I know, but... he's being so... ridiculous! I _love_ him, he knows that, and I'd never leave him for _anything,_ so I don't understand where all this _jealousy_ is coming from."

"Well," Eiji started hesitantly, "it's probably like how he doesn't like it when you flirt with other people... Besides, some of the stuff you said... it made it seem like you _do_ want to be with me, that way..."

"But he knows we're just playing, and teasing, he knows..."

"He just thinks we've taken it too far. Everything will get better, as soon as you apologize and Tezuka realizes what he actually did..." Eiji petted the honey colored locks of hair that rested against his neck and shoulder, gently separating tear-matted strands.

A warm breath of air huffed against Kikumaru's neck as Fuji sighed, "I love you, Eiji."

"That's what got us into this mess." Eiji laughed a bit and stroked his hands over the tensai's back and arms in an attempt to further relax him.

"Tezuka... do you think... why... hm..." Oishi's mind could not properly string together the question he wished to ask. He hopped over another log as he followed Tezuka up the mountain trail that connected with the cabin's small yard.

"What?" Tezuka snapped.

"You-nothing." Oishi sighed. "Tezuka, where are we going?"

"I don't know. Obviously I haven't yet had time to take this trail."

"Well, yes, but-"

"You didn't have to follow me."

"Yes, I did. Tezuka... you _hit_ him. Really hard. You knocked him into a wall."

Tezuka's walking slowed, but he continued up the trail.

"He was crying when I left. I think maybe you took it too far."

Tezuka made an angry noise in the back of his throat.

"Ne, Tezuka?" Tezuka ignored him. "Tezuka!"

"What?"

"Where did the trail go?"

Fuji snuggled into Eiji's arms, sighing contentedly. This was the reason he liked being with Eiji-the redhead knew just how to make him feel better, no matter what. Eiji had always been there when he needed comfort, for the whole six years they'd known each other. Calloused fingers ran through his hair, and he nuzzled his face further into Eiji's shoulder.

"Fujiko, we really should go find them," Eiji said quietly. "This... this is…um… fun and everything, but... I wouldn't risk losing Oishi for anything in the world. And I know you feel the same way about Tezuka. Even if he is being a jerk."

Fuji gave a watery chuckle. "Yeah."

Eiji cupped Fuji's chin and kissed him sweetly, hoping to halt the tears. He didn't like seeing the tensai cry, it rarely happened and it was always unnerving. Fuji clung to Eiji's tear-stained shirt in desperation.

"Nya, Fujiko, let me change my shirt and then we'll go find them. Ne?" Eiji pulled them up. Fuji nodded, his gaze downcast.

Moments later they were out the door and into the cool night air. Both had dawned sweatshirts to help fight the cooler mountain climate. "Which way do you think they'd go?" Eiji looked between the driveway leading down the mountains and the back of the house were there was a few other trails.

Fuji silently pointed to the back yard where they went down the first most visible trail.

"Well, if you would have just stayed on the trail..." Oishi glared in annoyance at the ground as Tezuka led them through the forest. He ran into a halted Tezuka. The angry captain whirled, fighting the urge he had to shove his vice-captain down the side of the mountain.

He fought through the momentary red haze and sighed, calming himself and turning back around. He didn't say anything to Oishi.

"Fujiko, I think we're...Fujiko? FUJIKO? Fuji! FUJI THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE!" Eiji yelled for the tensai in panic. When had they gotten separated? It could have been quite some time, as the tensai hadn't said a word since they left.

"Eiji?" a voice called out from not far away. Oishi came running through the trees to his partner.

"Oishi, the cabin," Tezuka came up behind the couple. "You can see the lights from here." The golden pair looked in the direction the captain was pointing, and sure enough, there was the cabin.

"Where's Fuji?" Tezuka asked.

"He was with me, but I think we got separated...I'm sorry, Buchou..." Eiji looked at the ground.

"You go back, I'll find him." Tezuka pulled the redhead close to him and kissed his forehead before pushing him back at Oishi and starting off to find Fuji.

Eiji wrapped his arms around Oishi's neck, nuzzling his boyfriend's chest. "Oishi... I'm really sorry... Me and Fuji won't do that stuff anymore if you don't want us to..."

Oishi didn't say anything, just kissed the top of Eiji's head and pulled him closer.

A/N: Katie: Well. That's the end. Told you the crack died a little.

Scarlet: I won't let it die completely for all my fellow crack addicts who worry about this! It just won't be quite so…in your face…/frownie face/

Katie: She acts like she's the only one who wants the crack to come back. _She_ wrote the slap scene, just so everyone's aware.

Scarlet: I also wrote the Oishi scene it opened with and the crack shoujo scene towards the beginning so…..STFU :P

Katie: And I wrote the Mr. President scene. We're even. …Let's stop bothering these people with our inane ramblings and let them get on with, you know, reviewing. Please?

Scarlet: By the way, due to the fact that when this chapter was posted there were 23 reviews, you have all LOST THE GAME. 3

Katie: That's mean. Now they won't review. Good job, Scarlet.

Scarlet: I thought we were going to stop our inane ramblings, Katie-dearest?

Katie: We are. Right now.

-TBC-


	8. From Emofest to Sapfest?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 - From Emofest to Sapfest?

Chapter 8 - From Emofest to Sapfest?

A/N: HOLY SHIT, YO. Two updates in, like, three days! We're on fire.

This is where the crack _really_ dies. This whole chapter is pretty much an emofest. Sorry 'bout that. For some reason if we don't write funny or porn, we write emo. Not a good thing. We must find a middle ground. D:

Disclaimer: We only own Ryomoka. And the plot. Or lack thereof.

Warnings: Oh God the sap in this chapter. EWWWWWWW. Why did we do this. Anyway. I think that's the majority. And citrus of the lemon-lime sort. And tensai bath time! And… um, I think the _lack_ of cross-dressing earns a warning, actually.

"Syusuke?" Tezuka called. He came through the trees and found himself back on the original trail. He followed it, hoping Fuji was still on it, or at least that he had not gone too far into the forest. "Syusuke!"

Tezuka sighed in frustration. Fuji could be _dead._ He could've been eaten by a bear, or fallen off a cliff, or something equally stupid. He didn't know if Fuji even knew basic survival skills-though Tezuka had taken him camping before and explained them; he doubted the tensai had listened to him. What if he got stuck here overnight and froze to death?

He honestly didn't understand how Kikumaru had lost him. Fuji was rarely so aimless that he could just wander off a path get himself lost. Unless he _wanted_ to get separated from Kikumaru... in which case he could be about to throw himself off the mountain, and Tezuka was probably already too late...

The captain became mildly frantic in his searching, his steps quickened and his breathing became panicked. Had Tezuka had animal ears they would have perked up when he heard the soft crunch of leaves close by. Tezuka's ears led him to a clearing and a cliff. Fuji sat on the edge dangling his feet into the air below and looking forlornly up at the moon.

Tezuka dropped behind Fuji and wrapped his arms securely around the slim shoulders.

Though he felt Fuji tense in his arms, Tezuka only scooped up the smaller boy and began the trek back down the mountain without saying anything.

Back at the cabin Fuji slipped down from Tezuka's arms. Tezuka moved to herd the brunette into the dwelling. Fuji stepped back when Tezuka moved, pressing his back to the wood of the cabin.

"Syusuke?" Tezuka said, surprised at the defensive posture. Tezuka raised his right hand toward Fuji's face, and Fuji turned away from him. He moved to face Fuji again and gently stroked Fuji's cheek, the normally pale skin an angry red. The tensai winced in pain. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he said quietly, bringing the tensai into his arms. He felt the smaller body shaking.

"Don't touch me."

"Syusuke, please…" Fuji turned his glare to the ground as he pushed back a few inches.

"BUCHOU! FUJIKO!" Eiji bounded out the front door and clung to the couple. "Fujiko-chan, are you all right?" Eiji ran his hand over Fuji's arms, checking for any wounds that the tensai possibly could have acquired. Eiji then brought the tensai into his arms in a hug, happy that his friend was not dead. Fuji gave his friend a wan smile as he leaned into the embrace.

Tezuka walked around the pair and went inside to be greeted by Eiji's counterpart. "You found him?" asked Oishi.

"He's mad at me..." Tezuka looked at the ground, frustrated.

Oishi frowned. "What'd you expect? I'm sure everything'll be fine... He'll get over it as soon as he realizes how much you put up with for him."

Tezuka sat in one of the kitchen chairs, his head in his hands. "I feel terrible."

"Fujiko, nya, why were you acting like that when Tezuka was hugging you?" Eiji asked, tilting his head.

"I-" Fuji hung his head. "He hit me?"

" _Fujiko!_ Don't be stupid! Buchou feels really bad about it!" Eiji flicked Fuji's forehead. Fuji backed away from the minute blow with a pout."Don't be like that, Fujiko!" Eiji pouted back at him. Fuji looked at the ground again. "Come on," Eiji sighed, "let's go inside." He pulled a stray twig from Fuji's hair. "You need a bath." He maneuvered the tensai into the cabin.

Tezuka looked up as the door opened and Eiji dragged a protesting tensai inside. His eyes met Fuji's for the briefest of moments, and then Fuji looked away, letting Eiji pull him up the stairs.

Once they were inside the bathroom, Eiji running the bathwater, Fuji stripped off his clothes and sank into the water, his knees drawn up to his chest. Eiji took a cup from the counter and dumped some of the bathwater over his friend's head.

"Eiji?" came a voice from the door.

Eiji turned. "Yeah, Buchou?"

"I can do that..."

"No, it's fine. Fujiko's upset," Eiji said with a hint of a smile, even though he wanted to scream at the captain. Tezuka came in anyways and sat down near the tub. Fuji's face flushed and he moved closer to the far corner of the tub, wrapping his arms around his legs and turning his head away, blatantly ignoring the hurt look on Tezuka's face.

"Eiji," Tezuka said quietly, "can I please speak with Fuji alone?"

Fuji's eyes widened and he looked at Eiji, shaking his head slightly. Eiji looked doubtfully between the two. "Fujiko, nya... Tezuka won't do anything bad. Right, Tezuka?"

"Of course not," Tezuka answered immediately.

"And if he does, I'll beat him up, okay?" Eiji winked at the tensai and left the room, closing the door behind him. Fuji pursed his lips in a pout, looking resolutely at the tiled wall. How could Eiji just _abandon_ him like that!

"Syusuke..." Tezuka sighed. "Please, I'm not going to hit you again. I swear."

Fuji still did not look at him.

"I made a mistake. A very, very stupid mistake. But I feel awful that I hurt you, and I will never, _ever_ do it again." Tezuka poured some cherry-scented shampoo into his hand and began massaging it into Fuji's hair. The tensai tensed at first, but gradually relaxed at the gentle ministrations, leaning into Tezuka's touch ever so slightly. "I love you, Fuji Syusuke." Tears leaked from Fuji's closed eyes at the words and caresses he was receiving. He wanted to be mad, but he just couldn't. Tezuka pushed the smaller brunette back to dip his hair into the water. Unfortunately this startled Fuji and he yelped and moved out of Tezuka's reach, glaring again. Water sloshed out of the tub at the quick movement. Fuji's knuckles were white as he griped the edge of the bath tub.

"Fuji!" Tezuka said, more harshly than he meant to. He was soaked with bath water. He pulled his shirt off, his pants following quickly after. He turned on the shower head and unplugged the drain. "I'm only going to get the shampoo out of your hair," Tezuka said as he stepped into the tub. Fuji glared. Tezuka leaned down and pulled the smaller body up against his. Fuji felt limp in his arms, not protesting, but not cooperating by any means either. Tezuka removed the bubbly soap from the honey colored tresses and grabbed the conditioner. He knew Fuji was very anal about keeping his hair soft because Tezuka liked to play with it when they cuddled. Tezuka kissed the tensai, trying to get him to respond as he normally would. The tensai responded of course, but it was stiff and obviously forced, not Fuji-like at all.

Tezuka turned off the shower after he had finished bathing his uke, and wrapped him in a fluffy towel. As they entered their room Tezuka asked, "Are you hungry?"

Fuji shook his head and sat next to his suitcase, clutching the towel around him.

The captain nodded and put on his pajama pants. "All right, I'll be up in a bit." Tezuka left and went downstairs to see Oishi and Eiji.

"How did things go?" Oishi asked, handing the taller male a plate of food.

"Ugh..." was the grumbled response.

"Where's Fujiko?" Eiji wrapped his arms around Oishi and rested his head on his shoulder.

Tezuka pointed at the ceiling.

"He's not eating?" Eiji asked.

Tezuka shook his head.

"Oh..." The cat-like boy pouted a bit.

"So what are you going to do?"

Tezuka gave Oishi a shrug, hell if he knew. Tezuka looked up at Eiji.

"He thinks you'll hit him again... or will get mad and then hit him..." Eiji shrugged and moved to give Tezuka a hug. "I know you wouldn't do it again, Buchou, but he doesn't..." He was silent for a minute. "Why did you hit him anyways?"

Tezuka turned to return the embrace Eiji had him in, "I don't know... I got angry..."

Oishi rested a hand on Tezuka's shoulder. "It'll be okay, don't worry."

Tezuka nodded and got up to return to his bedroom.

Upon entering the bedroom Tezuka was very, very confused. The lights were off and small tea candles were lit around the room. Fuji sat on the floor on his side of the bed near the foot with his legs tucked under him and his head bowed. Tezuka immediately went and pulled Fuji from the floor.

"What are you doing?" Tezuka demanded.

"I'm sorry, Tezuka. I shouldn't have done what I did, and I have no right to be mad at you because of what you did… not after the discussion we had the other morning and…" The tensai tailed off. Fuji stood, arms slightly spread. Tezuka did not know what to do. He knew Fuji was trying to please him, and he couldn't yell at him for that. But seeing him so pliant so soon after being angry was rather bizarre.

Tezuka sighed and set Fuji on the bed gingerly, half fearing he would snap and lash out at the captain. He noted absentmindedly that Fuji was wearing the yukata that Yumiko had purchased for him for his birthday before undoing the loose sash and pushing him back onto the plush pillows. He showered the elfish face with kisses.

"Fuji, I know you are mad at me, but I don't know how to show you that I won't hurt you again or how sorry I am," Tezuka whispered into the delicate ear. A racket-calloused hand danced light patterns across a toned stomach before resting flat and moving to curl around a trim waist. "Syusuke, we were both wrong. I promise you I love you. I promise you that no more harm will come to you. I promise I'll keep you safe..." Tezuka trailed off as he captured Fuji's lips with his.

Fuji didn't respond at first. There was absolute sincerity behind Tezuka's words. "I didn't mean to make you mad," he murmured. "I'm sorry..."

"Syusuke," Tezuka said patiently, "we were _both_ wrong. You upset me, but I had no right to hit you. I should be the one on my knees apologizing. I don't ever want you to be afraid of me, and I hate having you mad at me."

Fuji averted his eyes, embarrassed. Tezuka sighed and leaned down to press another kiss to Fuji's lips, and this time the tensai returned it if a bit shyly. "I want to make love to you. I want to show you how special you are to me." Tezuka ran a hand through Fuji's damp hair, removing the yukata the rest of the way with his free hand. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked. "I will. I don't want to do this if you aren't comfortable with it."

"I'm fine..." Fuji whispered. "I love you."

Relief washed over Tezuka in waves at this simple statement. He kissed Fuji's forehead, then moved lower, and the tensai gasped at the feel of hot breath ghosting over his ear. Tezuka licked a wet trail down Fuji's neck, avoiding using his teeth. He didn't want to startle Fuji again, and biting him might do just that.

Moonlight shone through the window, illuminating the tensai's face and making his skin look almost silvery, as if it were glowing. Tezuka paused and sat up, smiling softly. Fuji looked up at him curiously. "Kunimitsu?"

"You're beautiful," he whispered, and Fuji's cheeks reddened. "I don't take the time to just look at you often enough." Fuji's figure was absolutely _flawless-_ his face was sharp, pristine, and pretty, his features fittingly androgynous. He was slim; his muscles just toned enough so that he didn't look scrawny. "Perfect..." Tezuka leaned forward again, this time to take a pale pink nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. Fuji whimpered, his hands fisting the sheets.

Tezuka reached over to the nightstand and opened the top drawer, pulling out a small tube of lubricant. "I'll try not to hurt you," he said, stripping off his shirt, then his pants and boxers, and kneeling in front of Fuji. "That's the last thing I want to do. If it hurts, tell me, and I'll stop. Okay?"

Fuji nodded, swallowing, and Tezuka squeezed some of the lube into his hand. He coated the first three fingers and slowly, gently pushed his middle finger inside the tensai's entrance.

Fuji cried out as sensitive nerve endings were touched. Pleasured moans rang in the captain's ears, leaving a satisfied smirk to lie beneath his glasses.

"M-Mitsu!" Fuji cried out as the man above him struck his prostate. The long finger rubbed gently across the little spot, sending the smaller boy into frenzy.

"Calm down, Syusuke," Tezuka kissed his forehead. He wriggled his fingers inside the tensai, making the uke wonder when all three had been entered, before pulling them out. Fuji groaned at the loss.

Fuji shut his eyes peacefully as Tezuka pushed into him. As promised there was no pain, only pleasure and the mild awkwardness of being stretched. "Are you okay?" Tezuka asked, his voice strained with lust.

Fuji wrapped his arms around Tezuka's shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him. "I'm fine. That feels wonderful..." Fuji rocked his hips forward so that Tezuka was forced deeper inside of him, making them both moan.

"I love you," Tezuka said breathily into Fuji's ear as he thrust in and out of the tensai's body. "Never forget that."

"I won't," Fuji replied, crying out as Tezuka struck his prostate. He was silenced with a kiss as they both came.

Tezuka pulled out of him slowly and carefully, teasingly. Fuji let out a breathy moan. The captain reached to the side of the bed where his bath towel had been deposited earlier and used the rough terrycloth to wipe their sticky fluids from Fuji's body. He moved to the side and pulled Fuji up against his chest protectively.

"I love you," he whispered again into the sweat-damp bangs of his littler love.

"I love you too..." whispered a sleepy voice into the warmth of the captain's shoulder.

Oishi ran his fingers through Eiji's dark red hair, and the acrobat snuggled further into his embrace. "Ne, Oishi..."

"Hmm?"

"Buchou... he really, I mean, he _hit_ Fuji. I've never seen him so violent before."

"He didn't mean it," Oishi said in a reassuring voice. "He just lost control. You know how unlike him that was. He won't do it again."

Eiji nuzzled Oishi's neck. "I guess."

The front door opened, and the Golden Pair looked up from their place on the couch. Inui and Kaidoh came in first, Ryomoka balanced on Kaidoh's hip, and then Momo, Ryoma, Taka, and Ryuzaki-sensei.

Oishi blinked. "Where did you all go?"

"We left a note." Ryuzaki-sensei frowned at them, picking a piece of paper up from the counter where it was being held in place by a coffee mug. "Have we all resolved our issues?"

Eiji giggled. "Seeing as Fujiko and Buchou are upstairs doing naughty things right now, I'd say yes."

"Naughty things?" Ryomoka questioned, looking up at Kaidoh with big brown eyes.

"Grown-up things." Kaidoh shot a glare at Eiji.

"Grown-up things are naughty?"

Kaidoh sighed. "I'll tell you all about grown-up things when you're older, but right now it's getting late, and you need to go to bed."

"But I want to stay up and play games with my nii-chans!"

"But... Ryomoka, we've been up all day. We need to go to sleep... I don't think any of your nii-chans want to play tonight..." Eiji whined as he slumped back against Oishi. Oishi smiled and stood up, then reached down pulling his red-headed partner onto his feet.

"But...I hafta go home tomorrow…" She looked between Eiji and Kaidoh with watery eyes.

"No, it's bedtime," Kaidoh said firmly. Ryomoka pouted, but allowed Kaidoh to carry her up the stairs without protest.

"I'll see you boys in the morning," Ryuzaki waved over her shoulder before disappearing behind the door leading to her room.

"Good night Inui, Mo-where'd Momo go?" Oishi looked around the living room. A moan came from the kitchen, and Taka darted up the stairs; he had seen too much already that day. Oishi and Inui peeked into the kitchen to see the two youngest teammates making out in the fridge again.

"Um... yeah..." Oishi scratched the back of his head, at a loss for words. "Good night anyway!" He pulled Eiji up the stairs.

Kaidoh came back down. "Why did Oishi-sempai look like he wanted to molest Kikumaru-sempai?"

"There's a sixty-three percent chance it's because he witnessed Momoshiro and Echizen participating in another bought of refrigerator-necking..." Inui said, pushing up his glasses, "and another twenty-six percent it's due to the fact he knows Tezuka and Fuji are having intercourse."

"And the last eleven?"

"He hasn't had any sexual activities as of yet today..."

"Sempai..."

Another moan sounded from the kitchen, provoking Inui into speech. "I still haven't rewarded you for your correct answers yesterday." He tipped the bandana-ed boy's chin up.

"No, Sempai, Ryomoka and Oishi-sempai, Kikumaru-sempai, Fuji-sempai, Kawamura-sempai, and Tezuka-buchou are up there!" Kaidoh halted the venturing hand.

"Who said anything about upstairs?" Kaidoh's eyes dilated as soon as his sempai's mouth opened.

Momo pulled away from Ryoma, smirking. "We have to stop meeting like this."

Ryoma glared. "What's with you and refrigerators?"

"When you get cold, I can cuddle you and make you warm again."

Ryoma stared at him. "That's the sappiest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

"Hmph. Just because all you ever think about is tennis and food."

"Whatever. Get off me."

"No, I don't think I will. I think I should punish you for being so mean to your boyfriend."

"Kawamura-sempai's upstairs. Don't even think about it."

"Well, the table right over there does seem pretty handy..."

"Momo-sempai..." Ryoma glared at him.

"Calm down, I'm just kidding, Ryo-chan," Momo said with a wink. Ryoma rolled his eyes and ducked under his boyfriend's arm.

"I'm going to bed, Momo-sempai." He paused, trying to think of something nice to say to the taller brunette. "Will you... come with me...?" The question sounded awkward coming out of his mouth.

"Come on," Momo said, shaking his head. He appreciated the fact that the smaller player was trying to be nice, but it was just strange. Once they'd gotten upstairs and changed they curled together comfortably on their bed.

"Ryoma?"

"Hn?" Ryoma muttered through his sleep-fogged mind.

"I love you..."

"Momo-sempai..." Ryoma nuzzled deeper into his sempai's embrace.

"S'okay, Ryo-chan, I know you're not ready to say it jus' yet," Momo yawned his response and kissed the top of Ryoma's head.

Ryuzaki-sensei situated herself in bed, her thoughts turning to her team as she heard a faint thumping sound directly above her ceiling. She thought for a moment, realizing it was coming from the kitchen, and winced. Someone was having sex in the _kitchen._ She sighed, wondering if it would look suspicious if she didn't eat breakfast at the table tomorrow.

It was amazing, a little, the sheer amount of sex these kids were having. Tezuka and Fuji, anyway. The day they'd taken Ryomoka from her sister, those two had done it four times that she was aware of. Inui and Kaidoh weren't quite on that level, but they were no angels either. And she'd heard Inui speaking about a foursome today between Tezuka, Fuji, Oishi, and Eiji. So far the most innocent were Momo and Ryoma, and that was simply because Ryoma was such a prude.

"Honestly," she mused to herself, "if Fuji was a girl, Tezuka would be beyond broke from always buying condoms."

A/N: That little bit of epic comic genius at the end there with Ryuzaki-sensei is all Katie's doing. Isn't she fantastic? She is also (mostly) responsible for the sap that is covering you at the moment from that Perfect Pair sex scene…

Katie: Okay, hang on a second. I only wrote the before parts. You wrote all the "I promise I'll always protect you" stuff. And-you know what, actually, you wrote _all_ of the actual sex part! I stopped at the preparation scene! You liar!

Scarlet: Don't make me bring it back with a vengeance…

Katie: If you're talking about the F-word, then it's not my fault _you're a big fat liar,_ so don't threaten me with that evil, angst-causing disaster.

Reviews? Because, seriously, _one person_ did last time. And we would like to have, you know, more than that. Please?

Also, we're going to pimp Rachel Echizen: The Princess of Tennis here, because, well, it's hilarious so you should go read it. It's a parody, not a serious OC. To quote our friend Bailey: "I love your character because she's so easy to hate!"


	9. Say my name, say my name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 -

Chapter 9 -

A/N: Katie: *gigglesnort* I love this chapter. Mr. President. Hahahahahahaha.

Scarlet: Oh God….;; and you think I'm a crack-kitty…'tch you are not allowed to talk ANYMORE EVER….

Katie: Shut up, _you know Mr. President was a hilarious idea and I came up with it and I don't usually come up with cracky stuff._

Scarlet: Shut up Miss "Caffeine loosens the internal anal sphincter muscles"….

Katie: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! At the end of the chapter you get to find out what that's about. XD XD XD XD

Scarlet: I just created a monster…run while you still can.

Disclaimer: We own Ryomoka and nothing else but the awesomeness. I guess we sort of own the cabin and whatnot. *shrug*

Warnings: There's a wee bit of lime, and us arguing through the characters. You can probably tell who's whom. Cannibalism.

Eiji smiled as Oishi cuddled up to him. He decided once again that the vice captain was the best match for him. Of course he liked the bouts of random crazy sex that he could count on with Tezuka and Fuji, but he knew nothing would ever be better than Oishi gently touching him, sliding in and out of him, whispering sweet sappy things into his ear... He let out a breathy moan as Oishi's hands worked across his back and pulled him closer. Oishi was in the orgasm provoked fog right before sleep, content, warm, and sated. Eiji tucked his chin under Oishi's head and drifted off to sleep. Only when Oishi felt the breathing of his partner even out did the second let himself be swept away.

Taka-san listened to the exchange between his kohai, his head buried beneath his covers so they wouldn't know he was awake. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but they had roused him from the half-sleep he'd been in when they'd entered the room, and he hadn't wanted to say anything to them. Besides, he doubted they would do anything even thinking he was asleep-Ryoma barely wanted to sleep with Momo in total privacy behind locked doors, let alone with someone else in the room, asleep or not.

Taka found himself feeling bad for Momo. Their bratty kohai couldn't have been the most manageable boyfriend to have-he was prudish and aloof, and Momo was the type to want lots of physical affection. Taka honestly wasn't sure how they'd ended up together, which made him wonder if they really liked each other that way or if they were just comfortable with each other and that had led them to _think_ they wanted a relationship.

But despite being fairly simple-minded-or perhaps because of it-Momo had never been the type to be confused by his feelings. They were what they were, and Momo knew what they were, even if he was too proud to admit them. It was Echizen who would be confused by his feelings for his sempai, and that was what worried Taka-san. He didn't want to see Momo hurt.

Still, something in his subconscious told him that the last thing Ryoma wanted to do was hurt Momo, so he allowed himself to drift off, falling into a deep sleep.

"Mommy?" a small voice called into the kitchen. A yelp and some panicked shuffling later, a blushing Kaidoh came into Osakada Ryomoka's sleep-blurred vision next to a disgruntled Haru-nii-chan.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Kaidoh asked, trying to keep the annoyance from his voice.

"Mommy..." Ryomoka held her arms up in a silent demand to be picked up.

Kaidoh picked up the girl, then with a shake of his head said, "Kaoru-nii-chan, Ryomoka, not 'Mommy'..."

Inui sighed and sat down at the table, sighing in irritation, as his boyfriend threw an apologetic look over his shoulder on his way up the stairs. The four-year-old was adorable, but quite frankly, he was used to having an overtly healthy sex life. Since this vacation had started, or more, since a certain little girl had decided to monopolize his partner's time, his sex life was not so healthy. He was half glad they were taking her home after lunch tomorrow. Absently he wondered if he could make that thing Fuji had requested of him without Kaidoh knowing. Then he brushed the thought away, even though he thought Kaidoh would make the perfect mother. Granted, he couldn't be mistaken for a girl like the tensai, but that was perfectly okay with Inui. The data player's thoughts drifted off to mental images of Kaidoh holding a blanket wrapped bundle and smiling warmly. When a clock chimed from somewhere in the house he was knocked out of his daydreaming and looked at said clock. Kaidoh had been gone for fifteen minutes. Where was the other boy? Inui got up from his seat and began up the stairs.

Kaidoh was already asleep, fully dressed, sprawled on the bed with Ryomoka curled up on his chest. Despite his annoyance at not getting any (he was still a little turned on, though Ryomoka was a good antidote for erections), he found the sight absolutely adorable. Smiling softly, Inui scooted Kaidoh's legs over and curled up in bed next to him. His hand lay on Kaidoh's stomach, slightly touching Ryomoka's hand. Unconsciously, Ryomoka wrapped her tiny fingers around Inui's pointer finger. He decided, as he drifted off to sleep, that if he and Kaidoh ever had a daughter, he hoped she'd be just like Ryomoka.

The next morning Ryuzaki-sensei and Taka-san were awake first again; both seemed to be early risers. Much to their shock the next person down was Fuji; it had been obvious the day before had been stressful for him. Oishi came down only moments later with a goofy smile on his face.

"Come look at this!" He half-dragged the team upstairs and into the bedroom he shared with Eiji and the other Seigaku doubles team.

Eiji was peeking over the footboard of Inui and Kaidoh's bed with little stars in his eyes. Inui, Kaidoh, and Ryomoka were all curled up together on their bed. Kaidoh was curled up against Inui, and Ryomoka had nestled herself between the two. Inui's long arm stretched protectively over both of the smaller bodies.

"What are they going to do when she goes home?" Fuji mused quietly.

"Screw like rabbits," Ryuzaki said as she turned to leave. It was cute, but she did not want to be here when Kaidoh woke up.

The four boys turned back to look at her before a small voice piped up, "What's screw like wabbits mean?"

"WAH!" The four tennis players turned back around to see Ryomoka sitting up between her current guardians with a curious look on her face. She tugged at the sleeve of her nightgown and yawned before another question came. "Whatcha lookin' at, Nii-chans?"

Kaidoh had sat up behind the girl and looked like he wanted blood. "Ryomoka-chan, who taught you those words?" He was obviously annoyed, but even so the embarrassed blush still showed through.

By the time Ryomoka had pointed at the door Ryuzaki-sensei had already disappeared.

"Wake up, Echizen."

Ryoma mumbled something unintelligible and burrowed his face further into Momo's chest.

"Come on, get up. I want breakfast."

"No."

"Can't you just let me up? Then you can go right back to sleep."

"Don't want to."

Momo grinned. "You just want to stay all cuddled up to me." Ryoma's ears, the only part of him currently visible besides his hair, flushed to a bright red, but he said nothing. Momo smirked. "Well, I'm hungry, so if you're not going to get up by yourself..." He sat up abruptly and swept Ryoma into his arms bridal-style, his smaller boyfriend yelping in surprise.

"Momo-sempai! Put me _down!"_

"No!"

Ryoma lifted his head and glared at his boyfriend, his lips set in a grumpy pout. They parted to demand, "Put me down, now..." Momo relented with a good-natured laugh and sat on the edge of their bed with Ryoma in his lap. "Stay..." Momo smiled at the word. The unknown question that it was.

"Only for you." He smiled again and pulled the covers back over them as he fell backwards into the blankets and pillows, cuddling his precious kohai.

"Syusuke?" Tezuka reached a hand out to grasp at the figure that had escaped his arms sometime during the night only to find he wasn't there. Immediately he sat up. It didn't take two seconds for him to survey the room, not find his boyfriend there, pull on his boxers, and rush out of his room in order to find his most valued possession.

"Fuji!" Tezuka called as he tore through the top and middle floors of the cabin.

"Buchou?" Kaidoh asked peeking out of his room.

"Tezuka...!" Oishi tried to get his attention as the senior raced past the doorway again.

"Tezuka-buchou!" Eiji shouted as he grabbed his arm, bringing him to a halt. "Fujiko-chan's right here!" He guided the little tensai into Tezuka's arms to diffuse any further panic-induced mayhem.

"Don't scare me like that! I thought you left me..." Tezuka ran his hands over the smaller boy and whispered into his ear, more to soothe himself than anything.

"There is a one hundred percent chance that you need to finish getting dressed, Tezuka..." Inui appeared behind Kaidoh.

"Mitsu-nii-chan and Syu-nii-chan are all better! YAY!" Ryomoka hugged their legs before running to the last bedroom, "Ryoma-nii-chan! Momo-nii-chan! They're all better!" She pounded on their door.

"She's definitely Tomoka's sister..." Momo whispered huffily into Ryoma's hair as his boyfriend's namesake disturbed their cuddling.

"Ryoma-nii, Momo-nii, get UP! You gots to spend lots of time with me today because I have to go home, okay!" Ryomoka pulled herself up onto the bed and jumped on them. "Please please please get up!"

"Kaidoh-sempai!" Ryoma yelled irritably.

"C'mon, Ryoma, we should be up anyway." Momo moved to sit up, but Ryoma tugged him back down.

"Sleep," the freshman insisted.

"Liar. You want to be cuddled, admit it."

"Do not."

"Do too." Momo picked Ryomoka up and stood, holding his hand out to Ryoma, who took it grudgingly and let Momo pull him out of bed. "Later," Momo whispered in his ear, "we can do some post-sex cuddling, ne?"

"What's sex?"

"Kaidoh-sempai!" Ryoma yelled again, walking out of the room and away from his boyfriend and namesake.

"I can't wait to see him as a parent," Kaidoh said as he took Ryomoka from Momo. Momo groaned at the thought.

"Kaoru-nii-chan... what's sex?"

"It's grown-up things..."

"Oh! Okay!" She scrambled down from his arms and ran down the stairs.

"Well, she's going to be hyper today, ne?" Oishi walked past Kaidoh hand in hand with Eiji.

"It seems that way, Oishi-sempai..."

"Morning, Fujiko!" Eiji said cheerfully, sitting next to Fuji at the table. He leaned over to plant a quick kiss on the tensai's cheek. "Sleep well?"

"Fine," Fuji said. "You?"

"I slept great! I always sleep really well after... you know..."

"Sex?"

Eiji flushed. "Uh-huh. Didn't you and Tezuka do it last night?"

"Oh... yeah."

"...Fujiko, he didn't..."

"No! No, of course not, Eiji." Fuji smiled. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

Tezuka came down the stairs just then and took a seat on Fuji's other side, leaning forward to kiss Fuji. The tensai responded after hesitating for a moment, and Eiji sighed. He was sure Fuji would be back to normal after he and Tezuka worked things out, but it seemed like Fuji was still a little uneasy about being around Tezuka.

"What would be wrong with him, Eiji?" Oishi set a plate in front of his boyfriend before sitting on his other side.

"Nothing, Shuu-chan." Eiji leaned over and nuzzled Oishi's neck affectionately.

Fuji smiled at their interactions, sneaking a brief look at his boyfriend. Tezuka was relaxed; everything was in harmony, as much as it could be, on his team again. He did notice Fuji's behavior had yet to fully straighten out to normal, and he was sneaking glances at him every so often.

"Ryoma would make a great parent!" Momo half shouted. Kaidoh set Ryomoka down and watched her scamper off to Taka before turning to give Momo a 'yeah right' look. "Okay... so he might be a little rough at first but-" He didn't get the chance to finish as Kaidoh walked away to sit beside Inui at the table.

"Mada mada dane, Momo-sempai." Ryoma appeared behind the taller brunette. Momo slipped a hand around Ryoma to rest comfortably on his side.

"Ryoma-nii-chan! Momo-nii-chan! Look!" Ryomoka held up a plate of breakfast turned smiley-face courtesy of Taka-san.

Over at the table Inui was simmering as the other four seniors discussed the past few nights romps, in particular a certain duo's rules. He hadn't hardly gotten any since they'd arrived, between Kaidoh getting mad at him at the restaurant and then Ryomoka's appearance shortly thereafter.

"Buchou, that's not fair, it was my fault, not Fujiko's!" Eiji stood up behind Fuji protectively.

"It doesn't matter, Kikumaru, Oishi and I will not tolerate it." Tezuka's voice left no room for argument. If Eiji had truly been a cat his tail would have been lashing and a growl would have been badly contained behind closed lips.

"Eiji, those are the rules we have agreed upon..."

The redhead cut off Oishi. "How come you get to make all the rules?"

Oishi lifted a finger to retort but couldn't say anything. Eiji was right. The rules were being subjected to them... it made sense that they got a say in them... He looked at Tezuka for help.

"Yes, you should get a say in them, but Oishi and I are the ones who have to live with this, and I think it's reasonable that you don't do the things that make us the most uncomfortable."

"And everything beyond kissing makes you uncomfortable?" Fuji demanded.

"To be honest," Oishi said, "kissing makes us uncomfortable, but we're willing to accept that, aren't we? Tezuka's right, I think you two should respect that there are certain things we're uncomfortable with-and certain things that you just shouldn't do when you're already in a relationship with someone."

Fuji leaned back against his chair, frowning deeply. "But when we're all four together..."

"Then it's fine, obviously," Oishi said uneasily. "What do you think, Tezuka?"

Tezuka nodded. "As long as during those times you don't focus completely on each other."

"Well, it would be the only time we get to-"

"What did you tell us last time? It's not much of a foursome if you two are the only ones participating." Oishi winked at Eiji, and the acrobat smiled.

"I guess it's all right with me, then... Fujiko-chan?"

Fuji sighed. "Fine."

"We only do it because we love you," Oishi said.

"Yes, yes. Taka-san, put wasabi in my eggs, please?"

"Of course, Fujiko!" Taka threw a smile over his shoulder.

"How come Syuu-nii and Eiji-nii get to kiss, but nothing else? Will they get seftual diseases?" Ryomoka looked at her quartet of nii-chans with wide eyes.

Eiji's cheeks turned as red as his hair, and Tezuka, Oishi and Fuji quickly followed. "Ryomoka-chan, Eiji and I won't get each other sick. Tezuka and Oishi are just worried that Eiji and I will love each other so much that we don't love them anymore. Isn't that

silly?" Ryomoka giggled before turning her attention to something else.

"Fuji why did you tell her that?" Tezuka gave him a mild glare.

"What exactly should I tell her then?" Fuji asked him.

Tezuka leaned in to kiss Fuji again, happy to see some of his normal attitude back. Fuji's hesitance was much less this time, but when Tezuka moved to pull Fuji closer his hand was pushed away. Taka set a plate in front of the tensai and was promptly thanked.

Tezuka sighed and bitterly took a bite of his toast.

"That's not exactly it, Fuji..." Oishi protested.

"Oh? What is it, then? You're _jealous._ I know that much."

Oishi sighed. "Perhaps this isn't the place to discuss this..."

"We already know everything, Oishi," Inui offered from across the table. "Proceed."

"Well... it's rather... hurtful. I don't understand why you need each other on the side. Are Tezuka and I not..." Oishi flushed, but continued, "satisfying enough?"

Eiji chewed his bottom lip. "It's not like that, Oishi! It's just... I don't know..."

"So what you're saying," Fuji cut in, "is that you're worried Eiji and I will start liking each other better."

" _No._ I'm saying that I wish the two of you would discuss this with us and maybe we could try to fix whatever the problem is, rather than going off with each other. It's practically _cheating."_

"How?" Fuji said incredulously.

"You're feeling unfulfilled so you're developing a physical relationship with someone on the side. It's _textbook_ cheating."

"You _know_ about it, so-"

"Lots of people involved in relationships know their partner is cheating, and it doesn't make it okay, it just makes it even worse!"

"Oishi, Fuji, Kikumaru, upstairs now!" Tezuka's voice boomed as bickering broke out.

The other three trudged up the stairs, hearing a quiet, "Mitsu-nii, don't be too mean to them..."

The door was harshly shut, not slammed, for Tezuka Kunimitsu never slammed doors. The other couple sat on the edge of his bed, both staring into their laps. Fuji stood beside Eiji quietly.

"We need to talk about this now," he said.

"Tezuka, we will abide by your rules, it's fine," Fuji said before trying to maneuver around his boyfriend to leave.

"Fuji, we are talking now." Tezuka caught his wrist and pulled him back. "Look, go sit over next to Kikumaru and we will sort everything out, you can tell your side. Maybe we, Oishi and I, will understand you two better, ne?" Tezuka ran his thumbs across Fuji's cheeks. He kissed the tensai's pixie face and led him over to the bed.

"So…?" Eiji said to no one in particular.

Tezuka rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I believe Oishi and I are of the same opinion," he began. "Neither of us feels comfortable with you two having a side relationship because, really, it's not exactly fair to us. When we started dating-" he paused, failing to figure out a way to modify his sentence so it included all four of them- "we agreed to enter into a monogamous relationship. Oishi is right-if there's something unfulfilling about our current respective relationships, we should try to work it out with each other, rather than taking the course that ends so many relationships: cheating, or even just dating other people. Open relationships take away from the relationship on a personal level-neither of you can say that sex isn't much more..." Tezuka frowned, searching for the word in his head, "special when it's with someone you love and are committed to."

"Tezuka, Eiji and I do not have or need to have anything other than a platonic relationship. It's just a way of showing affection. You and Oishi have a strong friendship, you are just more subtle in showing it. Eiji and I wish to show each other that friendship in a deeper way."

"Neither of you are unfulfilling, promise." Eiji snuggled to Fuji's side. "Plus if we didn't do all the things we did then think of all the funny moments you would have missed..." Eiji smiled brightly.

Oishi laid his head in his hand, "This is your way of showing friendship?"

Eiji pulled Fuji snuggly into his lap. "Yes, it is..." He stroked the brown locks between his fingers.

Tezuka shook his head and looked up at Eiji holding Fuji so close to him.

"Typically one's reason for showing _that_ sort of affection towards another is for romantic or sexual purposes, Syusuke..." Tezuka said, clearly dissatisfied with Fuji's answer.

"And when have you ever known me to be typical, Kunimitsu?" Fuji retorted.

"It's just very frustrating." Tezuka sighed. "Oishi?"

"I think what Tezuka means is that, well, that sort of thing-kissing and whatnot-is supposed to be, you know, _reserved_ for certain people who are-well, special, and while I'm not saying you aren't special to each other, relationships and friendships are different... if you freely act similarly to others as you do to your significant other, it isn't special to the person for whom it's supposed to be..."

Tezuka nodded.

"Well then, we'll just have to treat you two extra special, won't we, Eiji?" Fuji quipped.

Eiji giggled. "Yep!"

"No, that's not..." Tezuka stopped to try and think of how he wanted to word what he want to say. "Oishi and I do not want any actions between the two of you to go past kissing. If it does there will be consequences. We want those things to be reserved for only us..."

"You're jealous." Fuji's tone was snarky as he crawled off of Eiji's lap to straddle Tezuka's. Nimble fingers undid the buttons on Tezuka's shirt, and warm lips followed the fingers. "I'm not going to neglect you," he whispered against the seme's neck.

"Oishi?" Eiji looked at the darker haired male.

"Go ahead," Oishi relented.

Eiji went to Fuji's side and dipped down to kiss Tezuka. When he broke for air he turned to Oishi. "I love you."

"I love you too, Eiji, but I don't think that's the point..."

"No, it's not," Tezuka agreed. "Syusuke, hold on a minute. There are certain things you do with the person you love that you don't do with anyone else, and that's that. I'm not worried about you 'neglecting my needs'."

Fuji studied Tezuka for a moment, his expression glum. "You are so _narrow-minded,_ Mitsu. We're just having fun."

"So this is to kill boredom? Play a game. Better yet, come find me and I will find a way to entertain you. I daresay I'm capable."

Fuji smirked. "You are that, after all."

"I prefer that you keep your relationship with Kikumaru platonic, Syusuke, because I want to be the only person you are intimate with. Is that so much to ask?"

"No, I suppose not... besides in situations like the current one, ne?"

Tezuka's usual frown tightened a bit with the effort not to smile. "Right."

Eiji poked his ribs. "Buchou's smiling!"

Fuji smiled wider. "I believe he is, Eiji."

Oishi leaned over to look at the rare sight. "Let me see!"

At this point color began to move into the captain's cheeks, and he squirmed to get Fuji off of him.

"Aw, it's gone now!" Eiji whined.

"Oh!" Fuji gasped a bit. "I think Kunimitsu has a bit of a problem..." He rolled his hips down against his still squirming boyfriend's.

"We can't have that!" A devious glint flashed though Eiji's eyes.

"Or, we could always just make it worse..." Fuji slipped off of Tezuka to hover over Eiji, "Like we did last time?" He leaned down and kissed his less experienced partner; a predatory look settled over the usually calm and "sweet" tensai.

Something in the back of Tezuka's brain told him he really shouldn't be finding this incredibly hot, but he was, and he knew Oishi was too, and it was reverting to something very much like two nights ago, which he realized through his now lust-fogged mind _probably_ wasn't a good thing.

"Syusuke," he tried to interrupt, but Fuji was very much involved in shoving his tongue down Eiji's throat. " _Syusuke."_ Still nothing. "SYUSUKE!"

Fuji blinked at him, his hand stilling over the button of Eiji's jeans. "Yes, Kunimitsu?"

"It's ten o'clock in the morning."

"...So?"

"So, we're taking Ryomoka home today, and it's _ten o'clock in the morning-_ we have _things_ to do today, things not involving another orgy-"

Eiji pouted. "But Buchou... we're all already hard!" he whined.

"I'd much rather lose a bit of time with Ryomoka than walk around with a hard on..." Fuji slid off of his friend and crossed his arms childishly.

"We cannot do this, Syusuke..."

"Buchou... let me take care of him... to make up for yesterday...?" Tezuka grunted as a soft touch over the front of his jeans from his boyfriend further aroused him. "Go ahead." His voice strained a bit as Fuji's hand increased pressure.

"Oishi, come over here." Two slender fingers hooked in the fukubuchou's belt loop and pulled him next to Fuji.

"Taka-nii! Can I help?" Ryomoka lifted her arms, and Taka picked her up obligingly.

"Sure, Ryomoka-chan. Do you help your mommy in the kitchen a lot?"

"Uh-huh! I can crack eggs really good!"

"Really _well,_ Ryo-chan," Inui corrected.

Ryomoka furrowed her brows in confusion, and then she smiled. "Haru-nii is really smart! Taka-nii, can I crack the eggs, please?"

"Okay. Here, let me get you a chair..."

Kaidoh and Inui watched as Ryomoka helped Taka with breakfast. Inui glanced at Kaidoh and noticed the small smile on his face. "You're going to miss her," he said matter-of-factly. "There's a one hundred percent chance."

Kaidoh shrugged, the corners of his mouth dropping into a frown. "We all live in Tokyo. We'll see her again." Still, Kaidoh looked rather forlorn and wistful as he said this, and Inui got the feeling he didn't expect much.

"Her parents would probably let us baby sit her occasionally," Inui said. "There's an eighty percent chance. There's a seventy-two percent chance Tomoka asks for payment when she baby sits her, so if we offered to do it for free, I'm sure they'd let us look after her."

"Yeah." Kaidoh smiled at him. "Thank you, Sempai."

Inui's lips curved into a hint of a smile as he watched his kohai watching the girl.

The emerald pair's attention was redirected at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Their rather smug looking resident tensai was followed by their acrobat.

"Where are Tezuka and Oishi?" Taka asked, turning his attention away from the food.

"They are..." Eiji broke into a fit of giggles.

"Indisposed, shall we say?" Fuji swiped his glass from his earlier seat at the table.

"You didn't hurt them, did you, Fuji-sempai?" Kaidoh quirked an eyebrow.

"Of course not, Kaidoh-kun." Fuji's smile grew slightly.

"Taka-nii!" Ryomoka pulled worriedly at his sleeve as the scent of burning eggs filled the room.

"How does it always get turned around on us like this?" Oishi panted from half beneath Tezuka, who had pulled him close to cuddle out of habit with Fuji. Somehow the fukubuchou was a bit mentally sobered.

"Shut up..." Tezuka grumbled. His fogged brain was in no state to think about the torturing twosome and their antics. It only cared to wallow in the bliss of an Eiji-induced orgasm.

"We really shouldn't let this go on," Oishi continued, ignoring Tezuka. "Don't you think it might get, well, awkward? After a while, we have to go back to, you know, monogamy, and while I know that sounds _crazy-"_ Sarcasm sounded odd on Oishi's tongue, and Tezuka could tell from it how upset Oishi was by the whole situation- "someday this isn't going to be just a fun experimental thing that teenagers do, and we'll be-getting married if it's allowed and adopting kids and things, and when you're married and you have children you just don't _do_ thosethings."

"We'll discuss this later."

"You're letting your guard down, Tezuka."

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are. You keep letting them get the best of you. We can't always allow ourselves to be seduced like this. It has to stop sometime before we make a habit of it."

Tezuka eyed the top of Oishi's head thoughtfully. "Right. We won't let our guard down again." They were still for a moment, and then Tezuka added, "Perhaps we shouldn't cuddle while naked, then."

"Right."

Inui had to admit that it bothered him quite a bit how loose Fuji and Eiji were being. It was ridiculous, because really, why did they need each other when they had Tezuka and Oishi, who, according to Inui's data, were both probably very satisfying lovers? The two were being more physically affectionate with each other than he had ever seen them be with their respective boyfriends.

 _Five,_ he thought suddenly as Fuji leaned in for a small kiss from his best friend, which soon turned into a much deeper kiss. _This is the fifth time they've kissed since they came down for breakfast._

Kaidoh and Taka were both looking deliberately away, blushing embarrassedly, but Ryomoka was giving the pair a curious look. "Shuu-nii?" she said, looking up at him with wide eyes as he pulled away from Eiji.

"What is it, Ryo-chan?"

"Why are you and Eiji-nii kissing? I thought you both had boyfriends!"

"We do."

"But... aren't you not supposed to kiss other people when you have a boyfriend? That's what my mommy told me..."

"It's just for fun, Ryomoka. It's nothing serious. Mitsu-nii and Oishi-nii know that Eiji and I don't like each other like that."

"Then why don't you go kiss them?"

Fuji blinked, then shut his eyes with a smile. "Well, that's a good question."

"They're very sleepy right now, Ryo-chan." Eiji smiled and draped his arms over Fuji's shoulders.

"No we're not, Eiji." Oishi's cheerful voice returned to the room.

"Ryomoka-chan asked you a question, Fuji, why don't you answer it?" Tezuka's more authoritative figure appeared beside Oishi.

Inui watched the scene with curiosity. Next to him Kaidoh was itching to take the little girl out of the intense atmosphere created by the quartet, but he knew he would be told not to by at least one of the older boys. Really, it didn't seem to have much of an effect on the child; she was pleasantly oblivious of the tension. As Tezuka took a step towards the two ukes Inui noted several key things.

The grip of the arm Eiji had on Fuji became possessive. The redhead took a step in front of Fuji, and Fuji's entire body shifted minutely. His right hand gripped tighter onto the back of Kikumaru's shirt, both of his shoulder's raised 2.5 centimeters, and his leg muscles tensed as if bracing for an impact of some sort. These were all minor, though, when you took in the fact that his eyes opened and very flooded with an emotion so unlike the usual curiosity or challenge reflected in the blue orbs.

Kaidoh stood up and moved to take the little girl, the mothering instinct in him kicking in as she became aware of the severity of the situation. "No, Kaidoh, leave her there. Answer her, Syusuke." Inui was still calculating all the probabilities in his head, not wanting to further upset things by whipping out a notebook to record data in.

"Tezuka." Kawamura's voice was surprisingly the one to interrupt the thick silence. "It's not fair to explain something like that to her, she's only four." He picked Ryomoka up. "It's okay, you still love all your nii-chans, right, Ryomoka-chan?" He smiled warmly as she nodded. "Now, I think all your nii-chans should apologize for upsetting you." He looked expectantly at his former teammates.

Fuji smiled softly at the little girl. "I'm sorry, Ryo-chan. Can you forgive us?"

"I guess so. But, Shuu-nii, I don't get it."

"You will when you're older, Ryomoka, I promise."

"But Mitsu-nii is older and he doesn't get it! Right, Mitsu-nii?" Ryomoka demanded.

"I can't say I do, Ryomoka," Tezuka said, shooting his boyfriend a look.

"See!"

Fuji sighed. "If you can't understand it, can't you at least accept it?"

"No," Tezuka and Ryomoka said in unison.

The tensai looked at Eiji.

"Well, it's just... it's just for fun, nya," Eiji said uncomfortably. "Fujiko... maybe... maybe it's not worth it..."

"But it's the _principle,"_ Fuji insisted.

"So your principles don't include monogamy, Fuji?" Inui asked.

"I-that's..." Fuji paused to gather his thoughts as Inui caught him off-guard. He looked to the acrobatic redhead again for help but his friend seemed to be at the same loss for words.

"Then this is all settled?" Oishi asked hesitantly.

Eiji pulled Fuji into a tight hug; he knew the tensai was upset at losing the war after winning so many battles. Tezuka twitched a bit at the dramatics. They acted as if they'd never get to see each other again.

"Momo-sempai!" Ryoma moaned as his sempai's ministrations began to form a large bruise as the base of his throat.

"Why won't you call me by my name?" Momo rocked back to his heels with a pout.

Ryoma sat up on his bed and gave the spikey haired boy a glare. "Do we have to do this now, Momo-sempai?"

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say my name."

"Momo-sempai?" The glint in Ryoma's eyes gave away that he was teasing.

"You know what my name is, Ryoma."

"No I don't."

"Damn it, Echizen!"

Ryoma raised an eyebrow and gave Momo a cheeky grin. "Why not call me by my name, Momo-sempai?"

"That's it! I've had enough of your lip!"

"Bet you haven't." Ryoma pulled Momo to him by the collar for another kiss.

"Honestly, you two," Oishi said exasperatedly. "Can't you keep your hands off each other for five minutes?"

"Perhaps the problem is that they're together so often," Inui commented, pushing up his glasses. "A possible solution would be to separate them for a given period of time. The rest of our vacation would be acceptable."

"How would we keep them from seeing each other, though?" Oishi wondered. "Even though there are only two days left, they'd still have to eat and go to the bathroom and so on. We couldn't just lock them in a room."

"Hm, I suppose that's true."

"That's ridiculous, Inui, not to mention inhumane," Fuji complained.

"If you were having this same problem with Tezuka and Oishi you would have nothing against it."

Fuji didn't have time to reply, as twin beeping sounds filled the room at that moment. He and Kaidoh both pulled identical beepers out of their pockets and, upon seeing the number, hastily pulled out their cell phones.

"I'll be back in a moment," Fuji said distractedly, walking toward the door to the wrap-around porch. Kaidoh gave him an imploring look, and Fuji nodded his head. Once outside, he dialed the number. After the fourth ring, an automated voice said, "The meeting will be tonight at 11:30 pm. Either Yukimura, Ohtori, Marui, or Ibu will be around to pick you up between 10 and 11. Mr. President is aware of the addresses of all vacation spots, etc., and has provided directions accordingly. Please be ready and bring the new inductees for the ceremony. You may hang up now."

Fuji hung up and calmly went back inside. He smiled and grabbed Kaidoh's arm. "Kaidoh-kun and I need to have a little discussion. We'll be right back!" He tugged the viper upstairs. "One of the members will be here to pick up the two of us, Ryoma, and Eiji between ten and eleven. When I make an excuse, go along with it."

"Of course, Fuji-sempai," Kaidoh hissed.

A/N: Katie: First off: possession? I think if Fuji knew Tezuka was having those kind of thoughts about him he'd freak out. And did you get the cannibalism warning? Tezuka ate toast. There's your lame pun of the day.

Second: As promised, the caffeine thing. I wrote a little Death Note dialogue after reading the Wiki page on caffeine and finding out that it relaxes the internal anal sphincter muscles:

Raito: "Why the FUCK are you so goddamn loose?"

L: "Raito-kun should not curse at me. I drink numerous cups of coffee a day, and caffeine relaxes the internal anal sphincter muscles. It is not my fault."

Raito: "You're not having coffee for a fucking month."

…I thought it was funny, and so did Scarlet. As it happens, I think she had something she wanted to say.

Scarlet: I made brownies…and you can't have them.

Katie: …Wtf? It's my brownie mix. Anyway, review!

Scarlet: AND I killed/am killing Katie's rubber band ball…who is gay and who I have named Lucas.

Katie: Like Lucas Grabeel? SCARLET I LOVE YOU.

Scarlet: I know you do. ^_^ ALSO! We have a picture of Ryomoka on our homepage now! ALSO ALSO! Katie and I have been writing these little Mpreg drabbles for various couples, do you guys want us to post them? (I think you should say yes because they are funny~) Okay, that's it! Reviews are awesome! They make me want to make Katie edit more~! Bai! Bai!


	10. Stupid Saeki and Byebye Ryomoka!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook—Stupid Saeki and Bye-bye Ryomoka-chan!

The Notebook—Stupid Saeki and Bye-bye Ryomoka-chan!

A/N: We made Saeki a bastard didn't we?...Yeah. Yeah, we did. Sorry about that, Saeki lovers. We like him. We just needed a bad guy…/shrug/…Also, Choutarou-kun is not a bad Christian because he's married to Shishido…We just wanted to make a funny…

Warnings: Bastardization of Saeki, crack, oocness, mentions of sort-of non-con (more dub-con, really), fluff, crack, hurt/comfort, corniness, Inui…CLIFFHANGER…/smirk/

"Since when do Fujiko-chan and Kaidoh have beepers?"

"Fuji has had his since the end of our second year at Seigaku according to my data, and Kaidoh has had his since the beginning of our first year in high school. According to all my notes on them, their beeping more often than not corresponds. Neither will say anything about them when asked, though. I have even attempted to come to a conclusion about them during sexual activities, drunkenness, and while Kaoru sleeps, and yet my research fails to amount to any sure conclusions." Inui had finally pulled out one of his notebooks and was scribbling away.

"Well, what do the end of Fuji's second year and the beginning of Kaidoh's third year have in common?" Oishi asked reasonably.

Inui flipped through his notebook thoughtfully. "According to my data, Fuji lost his virginity at the end of his second year, and I obviously know personally that Kaidoh lost his at the beginning of his third year. Perhaps these events connect to the beepers somehow...?"

Oishi blinked at Tezuka. "The end of second year? Were you two even dating then?"

"...No," Tezuka admitted, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"Nya, Fujiko told me you did it the first time at the end of third year!" Eiji whined. "In the locker room. Wasn't it?"

The buchou was silent for a long moment as his teammates looked at him expectantly. He simply said, "Saeki." The dumbfounded look passed over everyone's faces in turn.

Eventually the redhead gathered his wits. "No way! Fujiko would have told me!"

Inui was flipping through his notebook for a page on Fuji to write the new data on as the two ukes came down the stairs. "What would I have told you, Eiji?" Fuji's eyes opened in slight concern.

"You didn't lose it to Buchou? Fujiko..." Eiji whined. He looked at Fuji, his watery sapphire eyes filled with hurt.

"I'm sorry Eiji, I-" Fuji watched helplessly as the other half of the dream pair ran upstairs.

A door slammed.

"I'll go-"

"No, Oishi-sempai, I will." Picking up Ryomoka, Kaidoh wondered why he volunteered himself for such things. Even though he secretly knew it was because Kikumaru-sempai was cat-like and cute. He trudged up the stairs.

"What's virginity?" The team heard the question, followed by a stumbling sound.

"It's... something you have before you start doing grown-up things."

Ryomoka blinked in confusion and looked down at herself. "Where?"

"It's not something you can see..."

"So you don't lose it?"

"Well..." Kaidoh frowned. "They call it that because before you lose your virginity, you're a virgin. And when you do grown-up things, you're not a virgin anymore."

"So... I'm a virgin?"

"Yes."

"Oh... okay then."

Kaidoh sighed. He loved spending time with Ryomoka, but it would be nice to be able to do it away from his teammates. They were constantly talking about (or having) sex, and it was really uncomfortable having to explain it to Ryomoka.

He opened the door to his room and saw Eiji sitting on the bed, his knees pulled up to his chest and a deep frown on his face. "Kikumaru-sempai?"

"What?" Eiji snapped.

"I... thought maybe we could talk."

"Don't wanna."

Kaidoh sat on the edge of Eiji's bed, Ryomoka in his lap. "I think maybe you're overreacting."

"Am not. Me and Fujiko are best friends, nya. He should've told me. I mean, he told me right after he did it with Buchou the first time, so why not tell me that he did it with Saeki? He never once said anything to me about it, either! I had to find out from Buchou when everyone else did! It's been almost four years since it happened, too, nya!"

"Well... Fuji-sempai was only thirteen or fourteen when it happened, right? Maybe... maybe he didn't want to seem..." He glanced at Ryomoka and covered her little ears with his hands. "Slutty."

"Of course I'd never think that! We're best friends, and you don't think your best friend is a slut just because he slept with his boyfriend! Sure he was a little young, but... that doesn't mean it's slutty. Fujiko really thought he loved Saeki back then. So it's okay that they had sex."

"I think you should forgive him. He just didn't want you to think badly of him."

"I guess, nya... ne, Kaoru-chan, are those beepers really connected to you and Fuji losing your virginity?"

Kaidoh hesitated. "Yes, but don't say anything, Kikumaru-sempai. I promise everything will be explained later tonight. You can't mention it to anyone, not even Oishi-sempai."

"Um... okay..."

"Kaoru-nii-chan!" Ryomoka said loudly, tugging at the hands over her ears. "I don't like that!"

"Sorry Ryomoka-chan..." Kaidoh removed his hands and smoothed her hair back.

"Fushuu!" Ryomoka glared at him and crawled across the bed to Eiji. The acrobat laughed; the second year had rubbed off on her so much!

"Tezuka, you shouldn't have said that..." The tensai gave his captain a slightly betrayed look.

"Maybe this little rift is a good thing, Tezuka; it distances them, while allowing them to remain in the other's vicinity," Inui noted.

"Shut up, Inui!" Fuji scowled at the analyst.

"Ne, what's going on?" They all looked to see Momo and Ryoma enter the room.

"Nothing," Fuji snapped and turned on his heel to walk out to the porch, only to stop when his cell phone rang. "The Osakadas expect Ryomoka-chan home within the hour." He looked at the floor sadly after he hung up.

Tezuka looked at his boyfriend for a long minute, and then glanced at his team, giving them a look that clearly said "Get out." Oishi understood at once and ushered everyone out, ignoring Inui's protests that "This is a perfect opportunity to gather data on Tezuka and Fuji's relationship."

When everyone had left, Tezuka took Fuji's hand and said, sounding uncomfortable, "Syusuke, I'm sorry I-"

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. I can't believe you'd tell them something like that. I didn't want anyone to know, not even Eiji. Especially not Eiji. By not telling him or anyone else, it let me forget about it. I hate that my first time was a mistake, Kunimitsu. I wish it had been with you, but... it wasn't, and now that everyone knows it wasn't, I can't even pretend anymore."

Fuji had been looking downward throughout the speech, so Tezuka couldn't see his expression, but he did see tiny water droplets falling to the floor, and he pulled Fuji into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Syusuke. I didn't realize..."

"Kaoru," Inui said, standing in the doorway of his bedroom, "the Osakadas just called and said they expect Ryomoka home within the hour."

Kaidoh sighed, lifting Ryomoka into his arms. "Is Fuji-senpai all right?"

"...He seemed very upset when Tezuka shooed us all upstairs. But one shouldn't try to predict matters of the heart, after all. Come, Ryomoka, let's get you dressed and your clothes packed."

Ryomoka's lower lip quivered. "I don't want to go home! I want to stay with my nii-chans!"

"It'll be okay, Ryo-chan," Kaidoh said, patting her head comfortingly. "When we all get back from our vacations, Haru-nii and I will come visit you all the time, okay?"

"Okay..."

"There's a good girl."

Oishi trailed into his shared bedroom a few minutes after Inui. "Eiji, I think Fuji needs you..." He said, guiltily rubbing the back of his neck.

Eiji hopped up and gave his boyfriend a quick hug and a kiss before slipping down the stairs. He saw Tezuka struggling to hold the tensai against his chest. "Tezuka-buchou, I can handle it from here," Eiji whispered as he came up behind his captain. Tezuka swiftly released the small form trying to get away from him and darted up the stairs to his personal counselor, Oishi. Eiji wrapped his arms tightly around the lithe figure in front of him and pulled him towards one of the chairs at the table. He sat, guiding the honey-haired boy into his lap and whispering words of encouragement and love. "Fujiko, I'm not mad at you."

"But I didn't want you to know! It was a mistake!"

"Fujiko, stop, you used to love Saeki. I don't think badly of you because of it," he mumbled, placing a kiss on his friend's forehead.

"It's not that, Eiji... I wanted Kunimitsu, and Saeki knew, and he told me he knew, but I didn't want him to know... and he..." Tears started to flow down the pale cheeks.

"He what, Fujiko?"

"He told me that if I really loved him I would have sex with him..."

Eiji's eyes widened. "He _what?"_

"And I... I didn't want to lose him, so I let him-" Fuji bit his lip, choking back another sob. "I didn't think I'd ever have a chance with Kunimitsu... I wish so badly my first time had been with him, Eiji..."

"Uh-uh! It _was,_ Fujiko! Buchou was your first!"

Fuji tilted his head in confusion. "But Eiji-"

"No buts, Fuji! That time with Saeki doesn't count. You didn't want it, and even if it was the first time you had sex, you didn't have to give anything up to him. Tezuka-buchou has your heart, and that's what really counts. So stop crying, okay?"

The tensai looked at his friend for a long moment, and then he smiled. "Thanks, Eiji. You're right."

"Of course I'm right. Oishi's my boyfriend. His logicalness has rubbed off on me."

Fuji chuckled.

Both of the boyfriends watched the little scene from the stairs. "Did you know?" Oishi looked at his captain.

"Of course not!" Tezuka looked taken aback.

"Eiji, is everything okay now?" Oishi asked loudly.

"Yes-sir-ee!" Eiji smiled and continued to comfort his best friend.

The captains descended the stairs and pulled their corresponding halves from the chair. Oishi brought Fuji into his arms for a hug and a short-lived kiss on the cheek before Eiji wiped his tears away with a smile. Tezuka re-embraced his smaller form and he allowed himself to bask in the love and comfort rolling off his three teammates around him.

"Sorry to interrupt, but if we are to have Ryomoka home on time we need to leave." Inui stood at the front of the other half of the team. Ryomoka wiggled down from Kaidoh's arms and ran over to her Syu-nii-chan.

"Syu-nii, what's wrong?" She tugged at his pants leg with a concerned expression.

"It's nothing Ryomoka-chan. I'm fine now." They trekked out the door to the cars and got everyone situated before leaving for the Osakadas.

The eleven of them divided into the two cars, Kaidoh sitting in the back seat of Inui's with Ryomoka on his lap, Taka in the front and Momo and Ryoma sharing the back with him. Ryomoka was snuggled against Kaidoh's chest, pouting sullenly.

"Ryomoka-chan, do you think you'd get bored watching us play tennis?" Momo asked, leaning across Ryoma's lap to see her.

"...I dunno. Does it take a long time to play tennis?"

"Sometimes. One time Ryoma played a match that took hours. It was getting dark by the time they were done. How many points did the tie break go to, Echizen?"

"A hundred something," Ryoma said in his usual bored voice. "I don't remember."

"Yes you do, you brat." Momo cuffed his boyfriend in the head lightly. "You loved that match. You made Atobe shave his _head_ after that match. It was almost as cool as when you beat Yukimura."

Ryoma shrugged.

"Ne, Ryoma-nii, are you really good at tennis?"

"He's called the Prince of Tennis for a reason," Momo boasted proudly.

"Can we not bring that up? I didn't ask for that title. Besides, it's nothing compared to the 'Child of God.'"

"I always questioned why he was referred to as such. Did no one consider the fact that it's blasphemy? Jesus is the son of God. Were they calling Yukimura Jesus?"

"I don't think that was the point, Inui-sempai... besides, there aren't that many Japanese people who are Christian," Momo reasoned.

"Especially the ones who play tennis. Everyone's gay. Isn't that a sin in Christianity?"

"Ohtori's gay, and he's a Christian."

"Maybe he's a bad Christian."

"I don't wanna go home..." Ryomoka whined when tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.

"Don't cry, Ryo-chan, you'll see all of us again!" Momo reached across the back seat to tip her little chin up. "I promise!"

"Pinky promise?" She held out her little finger to him.

"Of course!" Momo linked pinkies with her with a huge smile on his face.

"You too Kaoru-nii-chan!" She repeated the act. "And Ryoma-nii! And Taka-nii-san!" When she demanded Inui's little finger they stopped her and said to wait until they got her home so they didn't wreck the car. Inui was a bit annoyed that they thought he was not a safe driver and demanded they not be in his car on the way home.

"I'm gonna miss Ryomoka-chan!" Eiji whined. He was still practically glued to Fuji after the little Saeki incident.

"We could send her a game schedule and ask Tomoka to bring her with her," Oishi suggested from the front seat.

"Saa, but if Tomoka-chan sees we're paying more attention to her little sister than to her, she may stop bringing her," Fuji pointed out.

"Taka-san and I come to all your games anyway, if she refuses to bring her we'll pick her up," Ryuuzaki grumbled nonchalantly.

"Nya~! You'd do that, Sensei!" Eiji clung to the back of her headrest.

"Why not?"

"I dunno," Eiji said, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "Because you're Ryuzaki-sensei."Ryuzaki-sensei glared at him in the rear view mirror and swung her handbag around in his direction. "What's that supposed to mean, you little brat?" She felt the bag make contact, followed by a "Ittai, nya!" and grinned in satisfaction.

" _That's_ what it means, you old hag!" Eiji said mock-angrily. "That you're a mean old lady!"

"Honestly, why I offer to baby sit for a bunch of horny teenagers I will never know..."

"What's the fact that we're horny got anything to do with it?"

Ryomoka sniffled as her parents' cabin came into view. "Are you sure I have to go, Kaoru-nii?" she asked, eyes wide and tearful.

Kaidoh sighed. "Yes, Ryo-chan. Don't you miss your mommy and daddy?"

"A little, but... I'd rather be with my nii-chans!"

"Don't say that. Your mom and dad love you very much, Ryo-chan, and it would hurt their feelings if you said you didn't want to be with them," Taka-san said.

"But... don't my nii-chans love me too?"

"Of course we do, Ryomoka-chan," Taka said soothingly.

Ryomoka curled up more in Kaidoh's lap as the car came to a halt. The Osakadas, their children, and Horio came out of their cabin and rushed down to the cars. As soon as Kaidoh was out of the car with Ryomoka in his arms Mrs. Osakada pounced on him.

"Have you been taking good care of my baby?" she immediately demanded.

"Of course, Ma'am," Kaidoh said, cradling the girl in his arms closer. He still did not like the Osakadas after the last encounter. Mrs. Osakada tried to bring Ryomoka into her arms only to find she couldn't. Ryomoka had locked her arms and legs tightly around her Kaoru-nii-chan.

"Ryomoka, sweetie, let go, and come to Mommy." She tugged at the small form.

"No, I wanna stay with my nii-chans!" she shouted, clinging tighter.

Fuji and Eiji wandered over at that point. "Ryomoka-chan you have to go home with your family for now, but we'll see you again real soon, I promise." Fuji rubbed her back soothingly.

"Ne Ryo-chan, see, Tezuka and Oishi are talking to Tomoka about bringing you to our tennis games so we can see you all the time!" Eiji pointed at the buchous.

Ryomoka shook her head. "I wanna stay with my nii-chans!"

Kaidoh cuddled her to his chest and kissed her forehead. "Ryomoka," he said firmly.

Ryomoka pouted.

"Come on. Be a big girl, for me, okay? We'll all see you again really soon, I promise."

Ryomoka ignored him in favor of staring angrily at his shirt.

"You know, you're acting just like your big sister."

Ryomoka blinked. "Tomo-nee?"

Kaidoh leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "None of us really like her," and Ryomoka giggled. "So be a good girl and let go. That way your nii-chans will want to come back and see you all the time."

"But... but..." Ryomoka's lip quivered. "Okay, Kaoru-nii. But remember, you promised!"

"I know, Ryo-chan. Don't worry. I'm going to miss you too much to not come and see you."

"Wait! I didn't get the rest of my pinky promises!" She clambered down from Kaidoh and rushed about all the other tennis players to collect the rest of her promises. Mr. Osakada smiled at his daughter's antics and politely thanked Ryuuzaki-sensei. Ryomoka ran over to Kaidoh to give him one last hug before turning to her family. There was a chorus of 'bye's before they all piled back into the cars and left for their cabin again.

"So why won't Inui let you ride with him?" Ryuuzaki asked casually.

"He thinks we told him he was an unsafe driver," Momo said boredly. He tugged Ryoma closer to his side as the freshman began to doze off.

"Hah, he's a better driver than I am!" Ryuuzaki said with a laugh.

"Yeah, he doesn't get road rage…" Momo mumbled. A smile wormed its way onto Kaidoh's face at that. Their coach did have the worst driving habits.

Eiji snuggled against Oishi's side. "I miss her already!" he said sadly. "I wish we hadn't had to give her back yet."

"We'll see her again soon, Eiji," Oishi promised, kissing the top of Eiji's head. "Tomoka agreed to bring her to any matches she comes to."

"Still, it's so sad! It was so fun having her around."

"She wasn't disrupting _your_ sex life," Inui grumbled.

"Inui," Fuji said reproachfully, "you can't say you won't miss her."

"I will, but it will be a relief to be able to have sex without worrying that a four-year-old is going to pop up. It rather kills the mood."

"Poor Inui, he's the only one of us who hasn't gotten any on this whole trip," Eiji said sympathetically.

"And Taka-san," Fuji added.

"He doesn't count. He doesn't have someone to get any from. Inui's had his boyfriend in reach all week and hasn't been able to do anything."

"There's also an eighty-three percent chance that Kaoru will not want to do anything because he will be too upset over Ryomoka's leaving," Inui said sadly.

"I think if he heard you say things like that about him he'd murder you," Eiji giggled.

"Maybe we can help you out, there's got to be something that will get him in the mood." Fuji wanted to help.

"You could use a pick up line! Like um... What's that American one that Momo used on Ochibi? ...Hey baby what's your sign?"

"But Kaoru doesn't have a sign..."

Fuji laughed a bit. "Astrologically, Inui, plus Ryoma laughed at him when he said that."

"Mou," Eiji put his head on Oishi's shoulder to pout.

"I don't think he'd understand it since he's not fluent in slang either..." Inui pondered aloud.

"Try something sweet and endearing," Oishi suggested with a smile.

"No, he's not into the cutesy romantics like you and Kikumaru."

"I bet he is. Kaidoh's just the type to secretly like being wined and dined and...sixtey-nined..." Fuji's smirk told them all there was something perverted about the phrase, but as they were not familiar with American slang like Fuji, they couldn't really say much.

As they pulled up to the house Eiji bounced over to the other car. "Ochibi, what does 'sixtey-nined' mean?"

Ryoma choked on the Ponta he was currently drinking and turned bright red. "Wh-what?"

"Fuji said it in the car. What does it mean?"

"Fuji-sempai!"

"What's it mean, what's it mean, what's it _mean?"_ Eiji asked impatiently.

"It's-it's something really perverted! Why were you saying stuff like that, Fuji-senpai?"

"Oh, no reason. Actually, Ryoma, I'm rather surprised that you know the term." Fuji winked. "I guess our baby isn't as innocent as we thought!"

"I didn't-I've never-I heard someone talking about it!" Ryoma flushed even more darkly.

"Will someone just tell what it is?" Momo asked. "I'm curious now, really curious."

"It's not anything!" Ryoma yelled.

Fuji grinned and leaned up to whisper something in Momo's ear. The younger boy flushed. "Wow."

"Try that on Ryoma, Momo. I bet he'll like it."

"Nya, Fujiko, no fair!"

"Momo can tell you," Fuji said carelessly, grabbing Tezuka's hand and tugging him inside. "Ne, Kunimitsu, would you like me to show you what it means?"

Eiji looked expectantly at Momo. Momo ignored him in favor of scooping up his favorite kouhai and heading towards the cabin. Shouts of "Quit it!" followed them.

"Momo, you jerk!" Eiji shouted after them.

"If you really wanted to know, you could just go spy on them," Inui said as he walked past, Kaidoh in tow.

"I think I'll try out the video game system. Momo and Ryoma have been hogging it the whole time." Taka's voice was a bit distant; he was probably trying to scrub away mental images of his former teammates doing naughty things.

"I told you, you're all just a bunch of horny teenage boys," Ryuuzaki said in a very matter-of-fact tone.

Eiji stuck his tongue out behind her back. "Ne, Oishi, wanna go...wanna go join Buchou and Fujiko?" he asked slyly. He still wanted to know what 'sixty-nine' meant.

"Eiji, I don't really think..."

"Just long enough to see what it is!" Eiji begged. "I'm really curious, nya!"

"I... I don't think we should, Eiji. We'll just look it up on the internet later, ne?"

Eiji pouted. "I guess. But everybody else is having fun doing something really kinky, and we're left out..."

"I doubt Echizen's letting Momo touch him..."

As it happened, Ryoma was in fact letting Momo touch him in exactly the way Momo wanted to be touching him, and he was enjoying the hell out of it, not that he'd admit it for all the Ponta in Japan.

"Inui-sempai, I don't feel like it..." Kaidoh pushed Inui's wandering hand off of his hip and rolled to the other side of the bed.

Inui growled in annoyance; he wasn't getting any, his boyfriend was now being bitchy, and all of the rest of the team had healthy sex lives. He was used to having a decent sex life at worst. This, he decided, was his own personal hell. _Maybe_ , he thought, _this is punishment for making the team drink penal tea, even though I knew it tasted horrible._

Kaidoh turned back over and wrapped an arm around his sempai. "I'm sorry, Inui-sempai," he mumbled into the white t-shirt clad chest.

Inui sighed. "It's fine." He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and tried to relax, as annoyed as he was. It wasn't like getting mad at the viper would help his predicament any.

"It's not fine. We haven't done anything the whole trip because of Ryomoka. I know that, but... I really miss her."

Inui sighed and kissed Kaidoh's forehead. "I know, Kaoru."

"But it's not fair to you, Inui-sempai. I should... I should be making more of an effort..."

"Stop, Kaoru. I understand. We don't have to do anything today."

Kaidoh frowned. "Wouldn't you usually jump at the opportunity to have sex?"

"I am trying to be more accommodating."

"That's... sweet of you, Sempai."

"Quite."

Kaidoh nestled himself deeper into Inui's embrace, curling into the security his sempai provided.

"I win!" Eiji jumped up and pumped a fist into the air. Unfortunately he still had the video game controller in his hand and as a consequence it unplugged. The cord tripped him, and Taka ended up with a lap-full of laughing red head. This, of course, sent Taka, and Oishi, who was on the couch, into fits of laughed as well.

"Eiji," Oishi tsked. He moved to pull his boyfriend out of Taka's lap. The ball of energy that was Eiji latched onto Oishi as he was picked up.

Taka smiled, watching them interact. It made him happy to see all his friends happy. It hadn't always been that way.

The first year of high school, when Oishi and Eiji and Inui and Kaidoh had finally admitted their feelings was not a fun time at Seigaku. It was rumored that at the middle school, where Kaidoh still was at the time, it had taken both Momo and Ryoma to stop the viper from turning the tennis team into some kind of twisted tennis dictatorship. Apparently a mad Kaidoh Kaoru was a very frightening Kaidoh Kaoru.

The last year at Seigaku for the third years was Tezuka and Fuji's year. Fuji's little reign of terror still had a few people terrified of him. And when Momo was a first year he almost ended up off the team twice because of his depression. Ryoma was still oblivious to all his advances then.

"Ne, Taka-san?"

"Uh, yes, Eiji?"

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"How glad I am you guys are finally all together." He smiled brightly.

Eiji grinned broadly. "Thanks, Taka-san! Now we just need to get you a girlfriend, ne?"

Taka blushed scarlet. "Actually..."

Fuji snuggled against Tezuka's side, sighing contentedly. "That was _amazing."_

"Hn," Tezuka replied sleepily, pulling Fuji closer.

"I've always wanted to try it, but I didn't know it would be that great." Fuji grinned up at Tezuka. "You know you enjoyed it."

"Quite."

"How did you do that thing with your tongue?" Fuji asked interestedly.

"Buchou secret," Tezuka mumbled into the sweet smelling hair on the tensai's head.

"Mou, Mitsu!" Fuji pouted, but smiled at how relaxed Tezuka seemed.

"Be quiet." He tucked the tensai half way under his body.

"Heehee!" Fuji giggled, "Who would have thought the great Tezuka Kunimitsu liked to cuddle in his post-coital bliss? I would love to see the look on Kei-chan's face after hearing that!" The uke taunted his seme deliberately.

"Kei-chan?"

"Mou, Keigo, Atobe Keigo, Kei-chan..." The smile against his chest made Tezuka aware of the tensai wanting to provoke him. It was less of a smile and more of a smirk. A yelp came from the brunette as his buchou nipped his earlobe. "That hurt!" The smirk changed to a pout.

"So Syusuke, you're not mad at me for earlier? A-and I've made up for my actions yesterday?" Tezuka curled his embrace tighter, reassuring himself that the tensai had not left him for his stupidity.

"I haven't forgiven you, but it can't be helped. Eiji helped me see things a bit straighter anyway..."

"And... yesterday?"

Fuji hesitated. "Yesterday was... a mistake. I know that."

"But..."

"No buts. You didn't mean to."

"But I did do it."

Fuji sighed. "Mitsu, can we not talk about this now?"

"I hurt you, Syusuke. That-that's not something you just sweep under the rug. Please, I need to know that you're not still upset or scared that I'll do it again."

"I can't say that, not yet." Normally Fuji would lie, but Tezuka knew him too well-he was the only person who'd ever been able to see right through Fuji's masks. "It was awful. But... I trust you. I _know_ how much you regret it. I know you don't usually lose control like that. Please, Mitsu, just drop it for now."

"I can't. Not until I have shown you that I will never do it again." The look of hurt on Tezuka's face made Fuji turn away. He still had a lot of pride, and he still hated people seeing him cry, most of all Tezuka.

"Please, Kunimitsu, please?" He moved out from under the captain and curled himself up under the blankets. Tezuka scooted closer and spooned against the lithe figure.

He had just closed his eyes when the door burst open and a very naked Echizen Ryoma ran in.

-TBC-

A/N: You're probably all thinking, "WTF is Ryoma naked in their bedroom for!" There is drama a-brewin', folks.

On a more personal note. WHY THE HELL DID WE TYPE THIS IN PARAGRAPH FORMAT IF WE KNEW WE WOULD HAVE TO PUT IT IN BLOCK FORMAT FOR ! And, it gets better. We continued to put it in paragraph format ever AFTER we started to post it. What. The. Fuck. Really?


	11. HUMPty Dumpty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook— HUMP-ty dumpty_

_The Notebook— HUMP-ty dumpty_

A/N: It's The Notebook's second birthday! That's right, two years ago today we started writing The Notebook on our way back from a vacation to Tennessee. We can hardly believe it's been this long. So, in honor of this very special day, make sure to leave lots of reviews. ^.~

Scarlet's A/N: You know what else today is? Katie's last first day of high school! It's so UNFAIR! I've been in school for two weeks already! T.T

Disclaimer: I don't even own my sanity anymore (you can thank calculus)….Katie doesn't own her sanity either, due to the fact that I use excessive periods in my ellipses, which she must edit out. If we don't own our collective sanity how can we own Prince of Tennis?

The first year quickly wormed between his captain and the resident tensai. Fuji, at this point, was shocked out of his crying and was wondering what on Earth Echizen Ryoma thought he was doing. Ryoma huddled up against his captain, shaking with adrenaline. The door opened not a minute later to reveal Momoshiro Takeshi clad only in his boxers.

"Where is he?" Tezuka, who had thrown his arm over a slightly stiff and rather unresponsive Fuji in reflex, could almost see the dark aura emanating from the second year.

"Who?" Tezuka decided to play dumb for now; it wouldn't serve him to have one of his players mauled by his seme, pun intended.

"Ryoma!"

"He's obviously not here. One hundred laps for disturbing us, now." He gave Momo his best 'I am Buchou and you better listen to me or face my uke's wrath' look. Momo left without further comment, shutting the door slowly. The dark glare still set on his face.

Fuji rolled over, and Tezuka pulled the comforter back to reveal one terrified-looking prince of tennis. They both stared at him, not knowing what exactly to say or ask.

"Echizen?" Fuji said hesitantly, prodding Ryoma's back. The first year looked up at him, eyes wide and terrified.

"Is he gone?"

"Yes. What happened?"

"I-nothing." Ryoma took one of the pillows from their bed and stood, covering himself with it. "Um, now that he's gone, I think I'll just go back to-"

Tezuka cut him off, yanking him back onto the bed by the arm. "What's going on?" After what had happened with Fuji the day before, he was feeling very paranoid about abusive semes.

"Well you see, he went to take a shower after we." He looked pointedly at Fuji, as the activity was something the blasted tensai had told him about. "And when he got out all of our clothes were gone and the cat outfit you guys made me wear was in his suitcase. He thinks I did it!" Ryoma laid limply between the sempais.

"Did you?" Fuji cocked an eyebrow.

"No! I was asleep!" Ryoma looked indignant and scooted himself closer to his buchou.

"That's not it, is it?" Tezuka stated more than asked and pulled the blankets back over them all. It was getting a bit drafty.

"No..."

"What else, Echizen?"

"Well he pinned me on the bed, and I woke up. Then he asked me where his clothes were and I said, 'I don't know, Momo-sempai!' and he yelled at me for not calling him Takeshi. But Takeshi just sounds so weird! I can't call him that!" Ryoma wrinkled his nose. "And then I called him 'Momoshiri' as a joke and he got really mad..." Ryoma trailed off here.

"Well, it's a good thing you're so little," Fuji sighed. "Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to hide between Tezuka and me."

Ryoma glared at the tensai. "I am not little."

"You're the shortest Regular," Fuji pointed out.

"And the youngest!"

"Momo was at least a foot taller in his first year of high school than you are now."

Ryoma glared at him. "You're short too, Fuji-sempai."

"Ah, but I'm comfortable with my height. But, that's not the point. Maybe you should stay here, Echizen. Momo's clearly not in his right mind at the moment. Stay here and wait it out, and if he comes back we'll keep you safe."

Ryoma looked at the tensai apprehensively, his cheeks coloring. "But I'm... naked."

"So are we."

"That's even worse!"

Fuji chuckled, nuzzling Ryoma's shoulder. "Is Ryoma-kun worried his sempais are going to do naughty things to him?" he purred.

" _Fuji-sempai!"_

Fuji tilted his head to the side, and then he smirked. "I think I just thought of a way to get back at Momo..."

"What's that, Fuji-sempai?"

"'Syusuke,' Ryoma, 'Syusuke'..." He leaned down and rubbed his nose against the little prodigy's cheek.

"F-fuji-sempai, stop it!" Ryoma squirmed closer to Tezuka. "Buchou!" he demanded.

"Ah-ah-ah," Fuji tsk-ed, "'Kunimitsu.'" Ryoma squirmed more as his sempai hovered over him. "First we lure Momo-chan up here, then..." The rest of the plot was whispered.

"I've been dating Tachibana An-chan," Taka smiled shyly.

"Really?" Eiji looked up at him in mild surprise.

"Hai."

"Congratulations then, Taka-san," Oishi said with a smile.

"Mou, what's that noise?" Momo asked to no one in particular as he came up from his laps.

"Kunimitsu~! Syusuke~!" Loud wanton moans floated down the hall.

Momo's eyes widened upon recognizing Ryoma's voice. Calling out Fuji and Tezuka's names. Their _first_ names. No honorifics, even.

"Harder, Syu-chan! Oh, God..."

"You like that, Ryo-chan?" A sharp smacking sound came from the bedroom. "Tell me you like it."

"I like it!" Ryoma moaned.

"Tell me you like it when I smack your ass."

"I like it when you smack my ass!"

"That's a good boy. Oh, Mitsu, can he be my new project? We can mold him into the perfect little sex slave. He's practically a virgin, he's got so little experience. And now that he's done with Momo..."

"WHAT?" Momo pounded on Tezuka and Fuji's bedroom door. "FUJI-SEMPAI! BUCHOU! OPEN UP!"

"Momo, what's wrong?" Eiji, Oishi, and Taka had dashed up the stairs. Inui and Kaidoh came out of their room looking sleep disheveled.

"What are you doing, you idiot," Kaidoh growled, still tired.

"But he...they...I-" Momo stopped as he heard the door open behind him and a fully clothed captain and tensai emerged.

"Saa, what's wrong, Momo?" Fuji questioned.

"Where's Ryoma?"

"He was with you, wasn't he? After all, you are his boyfriend..." The tensai quirked an eyebrow.

"No. He was in there with you. I heard him! You were spanking him!" He pushed past his sempais and looked around the room. Everything was in its place, save the mussed bed cover.

"Really, Momo. This is insane... Mitsu and I were just sitting here talking about our upcoming departure." Momo ducked and looked under the bed, just to be sure.

"I... I guess... Sorry to disturb you..." Momo walked out in a slight daze and entered his room, shutting the door on his way in.

"Well, I suppose we should all go back to what we were doing?" Oishi looked around at everyone. Tezuka and Fuji waited for the rest to depart before entering their room again. Fuji clicked the door shut behind him, leaving Tezuka to lock it.

Fuji giggled as he moved over to Tezuka's nightstand. It was large by nightstand standards, but still small. He opened the little door, helping one smirking Echizen Ryoma from within. "Are you okay, Ryo-chan?" Fuji winked.

"It was a little cramped but it worked." Ryoma gave a rare glimpse of a smile. Hearing a movement Fuji's eyes flicked to the door, a shadow was blocking some of the hallway's light. The brunette nodded towards it, and Ryoma started on cue.

"Kunimitsu! AH! Mitsu, take me!" Ryoma had to smother his laughter at the blush creeping up his captain's face.

"You're quite good at this fake moaning thing, Echizen," Fuji said approvingly as Ryoma shouted his boyfriend's name in a very convincing imitation of ecstasy.

Ryoma shrugged, then yelped as Fuji tweaked his nipple. "Fuji-sempai!"

Fuji grinned. "Just adding some realism, Ryoma. Say my name."

Ryoma blinked, flashing back to when Momo had said those exact same words to him. "Um." He shook his head. "Oh, Syusuke!"

"That's my boy."

"Yes! Yours!" He gasped.

"Leave me out why don't you..." Tezuka looked bored.

"Kunimitsu, take him with me." Fuji smirked pushing the first year to sit on the bed instead of standing.

"Buchou please! I want you both in me!" Ryoma's giggles were lost in the fabric of Tezuka's shirt.

"Well, if that's what you want..." Tezuka smirked slightly, pulling Fuji onto his lap next to Ryoma.

Ryoma put on a show of moaning, gasping, and calling out his sempais' names before they heard more banging on the door.

"Buchou! Fuji-sempai I know you have Ryoma in there!" Momo pounded a fist on the door.

Ryoma slipped off the bed and back into his hiding place as Tezuka padded across the room to the door.

"Momoshiro, what are you talking about?" Tezuka asked, opening the door.

"You! Ryoma is in there! I heard him!"

"What is it, Kunimitsu?" Fuji came up behind his seme with tears in his eyes and running unchecked down his cheeks. "Aa, Momo? Is there anything we can do for you?" He wiped at the tears seemingly in vain.

"Fuji-sempai, what's wrong?" Momo was taken aback. The tensai just didn't cry.

"I-it's nothing..."

"Did Buchou do something to make you cry?" He glared at the captain.

"Momo, it's none of your concern. I'm fine. You should be with Echizen..." Fuji turned away a bit, biting his lip in a helpless manor.

"If you say so, Fuji-sempai."

"Now, you can see Echizen isn't here. So would you leave us to our discussion please?"

"Sure..."

Tezuka was the one that opened the little door this time. Ryoma popped out and was giving Fuji a curious look as soon as he laid eyes on the tears that were coming to a slow but steady halt.

"Fuji-sempai?"

"Tears, distracts them every time..." He smiled.

Ryoma shrugged, leaning back against the headboard. "So what now?"

Tezuka looked at Fuji, who was looking at Ryoma thoughtfully. "What indeed..."

Eiji's ear was pressed against the wall connecting Taka's room with Tezuka and Fuji's. He snickered. "'Oh, Mitsu, take me!'" he repeated, falling onto the bed in a fit of giggles. "Ochibi's really good at faking it!"

Oishi gave Eiji a disapproving look. "I don't think it's very funny. Don't you feel bad for Momo?"

"He probably deserves it, nya," Eiji said. "Knowing Fujiko and Buchou."

"Why are you looking at me like that, Fuji-sempai?" Ryoma asked as he looked up.

"I'm curious." Fuji's fingers curled around the back of Ryoma's neck. "If those were fake moans, what does the real thing sound like?" He pulled Ryoma in as if he were to kiss him.

"Fuji, stop," Tezuka demanded.

Fuji giggled, releasing his unnerved kouhai. "Sorry, Echizen! I just had to see the look on your face!" He laughed a bit more. "Don't worry Tezuka, I'm not into shouta."

Tezuka glared at the shaking honey colored tresses and quickly pinned the smaller body beneath his own. "Not funny, Syusuke..."

Fuji tensed a bit as he was unexpectedly shoved back onto the bed and weighed down by a strong body.

Ryoma watched, eyes wide, as Tezuka kissed Fuji roughly.

"Um. Right. Well, I don't particularly want to watch you two-do whatever you're about to do, God knows-so, I'll just, uhm, leave."

Tezuka and Fuji ignored him, too involved in their heated make-out session.

Ryoma clambered off the bed hastily and rushed out of the room, closing it gently behind him. When he turned around, he jumped in surprise-Momo was standing right in front of him, arms crossed.

"M-Momo-sempai."

"Takeshi."

"But-"

"You've got a lot of making up to do. Takeshi."

"Takeshi," Ryoma repeated, and Momo grinned.

"That's a good boy." He scooped Ryoma up into his arms, carrying him bridal-style to their bedroom. "Now, I'm going to teach you a lesson about playing tricks on me. Ne?"

"Yes, Mo-Takeshi."

"Music to my ears."

Kaidoh buried himself deeper into his boyfriend's arms and hissed. He didn't want to get up, even though he knew if he didn't he would be up at all ungodly hours of the night. Inui's arms became tight around him again as his movement had created slack in their embrace. The second year breathed in the scent of his partner, fabric softener and Inui Juice. Inui mumbled something unrecognizable and one of his arms shifted to rest against Kaidoh's lower back whilst the other became tight around his chest.

"S-sempai!" Kaidoh whispered breathlessly. Inui was literally squeezing the air out of him. Inui's eyes opened unexpectedly, shocking the younger of the two a bit. Kaidoh became a puddle at that, as per his usual. Inui smiled and kissed him soundly. Discreetly he reached over to their nightstand to retrieve his glasses.

"Inui-sempai?"

"Yes, Kaoru?"

"Can we..."

Inui blinked. His eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please?"

"But, Kaoru, Ryomoka-"

"I know. But I feel better now, and... Ryomoka wouldn't want to know she was making me sad." Kaidoh smiled shyly at his boyfriend. "Sorry I made you wait, Sempai."

"That's-that's perfectly all right, Kaoru." Inui swallowed thickly. "You're absolutely sure."

"Yes, Sempai. Geez, you're acting like this is our first time or something."

"Who's your seme?" Momo demanded, jerking his fingers in and out of Ryoma's entrance roughly.

"You are!" Ryoma moaned. His voice was muffled; he was laying on his stomach, his face buried in pillows.

"Who's the only person who'll ever get into this tight little ass?" Smack.

"You are!"

"Say my name!"

"Takeshi!"

Momo sat back on his heals, satisfied. "And you'll be a good uke from now on, right? No more pretending to be screwing Buchou and Fuji-sempai. I'm the only sempai you moan for. Got it?"

Ryoma mumbled something unintelligible, too lost in pleasure to give a coherent response as Momo struck his prostate.

"Damn straight." Momo felt extremely satisfied as he gave Ryoma a once-over. A pillow was tucked lengthwise under his chest and stomach and his hips were just slightly elevated. His knees were splayed out to either side, spreading himself to allow Momo his fun. Red blossomed on both sets of cheeks, and bronze-gold eyes were hazy with pleasure. _Damn I'm good!_ Momo smirked to himself.

"Takeshi..." Ryoma whimpered.

"Hm?"

"Take me..."

"No, I'm just going to leave you there like that," Momo said resolutely.

Ryoma moaned in displeasure, "But, Momo-sempai... Ah!" A sharp smack resounded in the room. "Takeshi! Takeshi! Ta-takeshi..."

"Good boy," Momo said with a sadistic smile. "You want me to fuck you, Ryoma?"

Ryoma whimpered.

"Answer."

"Yes!"

"Too bad. You're going to have to do a lot first. Go put on the cat costume."

"W-why?"

"Just do it."

Ryoma stood on shaky legs, groaning when a hand connected sharply with his behind again. He pulled the costume out of Momo's suitcase and slowly put each garment on, first the thong, then the tail. "Wh-what now?"

"Get over here."

Kaidoh couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was definitely something going on in the annoyingly cerebral mind of Inui Sadaharu. He had been oddly gentle during their, ahem, activities. Inui wasn't rough usually, not unless they were getting in some BDSM time at least, and that was preplanned, but he was so rarely as gentle as he had been. Kaidoh's mind almost went as far to think that maybe, just maybe, the analyst had given him something that would end up with him pregnant. The idea was quickly brushed aside though. _Inui-sempai promised he wouldn't. Inui-sempai doesn't break promises._

"Inui-sempai... is everything alright?" he asked hesitantly from beneath the analyst.

"Of course, Kaoru, why wouldn't it be?"

"You're acting kind of oddly..."

"How do you mean?" Inui said, his fingers twitching in want of his notebook and pen.

"You..." Kaidoh blushed. "When we... you were really gentle. That's... unusual for you."

"Has that been a problem? Have you been dissatisfied every time we-"

"No! No, Inui-sempai, that's not what I meant..." Kaidoh frowned. "I was just wondering if, if there's something going on that I should know about."

"These are so going online."

"No! Don't! I'll never call you Momo-sempai again! Takeshi, Takeshi, Takeshi, Takeshi, Takeshi! Don't put those pictures online!"

"Oh, desperate, are we? The stakes just got higher, Ryoma..."

Ryoma jumped up as the camera was held high above Momo's head. "Please! Please, Takeshi..." With another jump he tripped on the tail and fell to the floor in an upset, over-sensitized heap of freshman.

Momo sighed and left nonchalantly, camera still dangled over his head. Ryoma scrambled up and debated on whether or not to follow. "Kitten!" As soon as the shout came Ryoma was out the door and behind Momo.

"No, nothing in particular, Kaoru..." Inui's eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, okay then."

Inui felt a pang of guilt. His kouhai was just letting it go, accepting and trusting that he was telling the truth. "Kaoru... I was being so accommodating because I do not wish for us to get involved in the things that the rest of our team has. Abuse, neglect, cheating, withholding, secrets..." Inui ticked off the rest of the teams 'crimes'.

"Everyone fights, Inui-sempai..." Kaidoh said tentatively. "You don't have to change anything. I like the way you are."

Inui smiled. "Thank you, Kaoru."

Kaidoh sighed. "This team should have a soap opera..."

Ryoma trailed behind Momo, his head down. "T-Takeshi?"

"What?"

"I-I'll do anything, please, I-"

"Relax, Ryoma. We're going to get you a Ponta, okay?"

Wide golden eyes looked up at him. "Really?"

Momo nodded, turning his head to hide his satisfied smirk. Ryoma was adorable when he was all scared and obedient.

Ryoma hugged his arm hesitantly, happy at the thought of Ponta. Ponta made everything better. Momo patted his head like he was the small furry animal he was dressed as. As they started down the stairs the tail attached to his sad excuse for an outfit tripped him and he felt himself fall in slow motion before making impact with the stairs. Instinctively he curled into fetal position and proceeded to tumble down the stairs.

A/N: And there it is! Another cliffhanger ending, lolz. We really do love you guys, sorry about this.

Scarlet's A/N: I wanted to call this chapter "Fuji Noises." Ya' know, like the sex-sounds Fuji makes when he plays tennis? Now I call all sex noises Fuji noises…Katie hates them. XD


	12. Uke Bonding Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook - Uke Bonding Time

The Notebook - Uke Bonding Time

A/N: …This chapter is a weird mix of crack and angst and fluff. Momo just never learns. Also, poor Ryuzaki-sensei for putting up with these guys. She's not in this chapter much, but still, we feel bad for her.

Disclaimer: We don't own it.

Warnings: Um… we. Have no warnings. Oh goodness. I guess if mild sappiness deserves a warning, then there's that, but… otherwise, really nothing. Something is afoot. I think the pr0n and such comes back in the next chapter? …You know what, it doesn't. I don't know what's wrong with us.

Oishi, Eiji, and Taka were first to reach the boy as they jumped off the couch after hearing the thudding. Tezuka and Fuji appeared at the top of the stairs soon after. Momo stood still, completely in shock. Ryuzaki burst from the basement moments later. "What the hell is going on up here!"

Ryoma gave a moan of discomfort and sat up slowly. "That hurt..."

Fuji gave a bark or laughter before disappearing. He reappeared with a throw blanket and, walking past Momo, draped it over the first year's shoulders.

Ryuzaki twitched for a moment before going back downstairs. She had seen Ryoma's attire-not her business any longer. Not now that she knew he wasn't dead.

Fuji waited for a moment before reaching to unfasten the tail. "Momoshiro Takeshi, just what exactly did you think you were doing making him traipse around in this?" He waved the tail as he stood up. "Have you ever worn a tail before?" As Momo shook his head slightly, Fuji's voice rose. "I didn't think so! So you have no comprehension of how easy it is to trip on these." He held it to his body for visual reference. "There is a reason it doesn't go to my ankles! It drags to the floor on Ryoma. This was an accident waiting to happen!" Fuji turned back to Ryoma, mentally ranting on how stupid inexperienced people were, and how they should pay more attention and look into things before doing them on a whim. Oishi and Eiji were doctoring the first year, much to Ryoma's disgruntlement and Fuji's amusement. Or at least he would have been amused was he not so irritated.

"Mou, why were you making him walk around in this anyways!" Eiji glared, knowing Ryoma wouldn't want to wear the outfit in front of Momo much less in front of the rest of them.

"I-I wasn't-" Momo spluttered, looking in shock at his boyfriend.

Fuji glared at him. "I'm taking Ryoma to my room for a few hours, so you can have some time to cool off."

"Syusuke-"

"You can stay here, Mitsu. Please?" Fuji shot him a pleading look. "With Oishi and Taka-san and... _him."_ He pointed at Momo. "And I'll send Inui down after I get Kaidoh."

"Kaidoh?"

"It's uke bonding time!" Eiji said happily. "Ne, Fujiko?"

"That's right, Eiji." Fuji smiled. "Come on, Ryo-chan. We'll get you away from your mean seme for a while. Okay?"

Ryoma nodded hesitantly, giving Momo an apologetic look, and let Fuji piggy-back him up the stairs.

Eiji ducked back and planted a kiss on Oishi's cheek before trotting after Fuji.

Tezuka's eyes met Oishi's and both of them looked at Momo before looking at each other again. Momo yelped as Tezuka's hand fell heavily on his shoulder. He hadn't realized he was behind him. Momo was led down the stairs and sat firmly on the couch. "I think it's time we semes had a little talk as well."

"Kaidoh, come on." Fuji had picked the simple lock on the Emerald Pair's door and was disturbing their time together. He had put Ryoma in Eiji's care while he collected the last member of their little group.

"Why, Fuji-sempai?" He attempted to worm his way beneath his boyfriend's larger frame. He didn't really care if Fuji saw them together. Fuji already knew all.

"Uke bonding time," Fuji explained simply. "Momo and Ryoma had an incident..." He trailed off, the malice in his voice evident.

"Sorry, Inui-sempai, I have to go..." Kaidoh got up and quickly dressed himself.

"The semes are having a little discussion of their own, Inui. I told Mitsu I'd send you down," Fuji said with a smile. He grabbed Kaidoh's arm and dragged him down the hall.

"What happened Fuji-sempai?" Fuji opened the door and walked over to the bed, leaving Kaidoh to close the door.

"Are you all right, Ryo-chan?"

"I'm fine, Fuji-sempai," Ryoma mumbled. He did not want the focus of the conversation to be on him, and he dearly wished to climb into his earlier hiding place.

"What happened to Echizen?" Kaidoh asked again curiously.

"Momo was being mean," Eiji started. "He made Ochibi dress up in Fujiko's kitty costume, and he tripped down the stairs on the tail."

Kaidoh blinked. "You fell down the stairs?"

Ryoma nodded, a sour expression on his face.

"That idiot bastard! What the hell did he think he was doing?" Kaidoh turned back to the door and was about to yank it open when a slender hand settled on his arm.

"Now now, Kaidoh," Fuji said tersely, "it's uke bonding time. We're going for a peaceful atmosphere. I'm sure Momo will be set straight by his fellow semes."

"'Set straight'? He deserves to have the shit beaten out of him!"

"Don't worry, Kaidoh." Fuji lowered his voice. "After the incident with Mitsu yesterday he's become very sensitive about such things..." Kaidoh's eyes widened in understanding. He allowed Fuji to lead him back to the large bed that Eiji and Ryoma currently sat on.

"So what do we do now?" Eiji tilted his head cutely.

"May I change?" Ryoma mumbled, staring at the pillow in his lap.

"No Ryo-chan, you have to stay in my kitty outfit!"

"Fuji-sempai!"

"I'm kidding. Here." The tensai stooped next to his suitcase and pulled a pair of flannel pajamas out. "You can wear a pair of my pajamas for now."

"Thank you, Fuji-sempai..." Ryoma quickly tugged off the 'clothing' and dressed in the warm flannel instead. Luckily Fuji wasn't very much bigger than Ryoma. "Fuji-sempai, I'm surprised you have normal pajamas..." Ryoma sat back down.

"Be glad you're hurt, Echizen..." Fuji let the threat trail off and gave him a slight glare.

Eiji bounced on the bed. "What do we do now!" he whined.

"Mm... Kaidoh, perhaps we should explain what's going on tonight?"

Kaidoh shot him a look. "But Fuji-sempai-"

"Not in detail," Fuji said hastily. "Just enough so that it's not a complete surprise."

"Nya, is this what you were talking about earlier, Kaidoh?" Eiji asked.

Fuji tilted his head. "What you were talking about earlier?"

"Ah, Kikumaru-sempai asked me if the beepers were related to us losing our virginity..."

"I see," Fuji said, his expression darkening briefly. "Well, the four of us are going on a trip tonight."

Ryoma raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Kaidoh and I are members of a... club. That you two are now eligible to join."

"I don't want to."

"It's not optional. If you don't show up to your first meeting, our President will send his personal army to find you. There's no way around it."

"Better than running laps, ne, Ochibi?" Eiji elbowed Ryoma in the side lightly.

"Ow." Ryoma rubbed his side.

Fuji crawled over to him and pulled up his shirt, revealing a purple bruise on the first year's side. Slender fingers skimmed over the marred flesh.

"What happened?" Eiji asked, wincing at the bruise.

Ryoma looked at Fuji, not wanting to retell the first part of the story. "Only the part up until you left our room, then you're on your own."

"What happened that Kaoru and I needed to be disturbed?" Inui grumbled at Oishi as he came down the stairs.

"We're trying to figure out what to do with Momo..." Taka said from the couch.

Inui noted Tezuka standing in front of Momo, who was on the couch, glaring down at the kouhai. There was a ninety seven percent change that the punishment would be at least twice as severe due to his own actions towards Fuji the previous day.

Tezuka placed his left hand heavily on Momo's shoulder. "Momoshiro," he said calmly.

"Um. Yes, Buchou?"

"...It is not entirely your fault that Echizen fell down the stairs."

"...It's not?"

"No." Tezuka sighed. "It was stupid of you to make him wear the cat suit, but you didn't trip him down the stairs. Therefore I can't punish you as harshly as I'd like to."

Inui blinked, looking at Tezuka in astonishment.

"But, since I've already heard Ryoma's side, why don't you tell us what happened."

"Well...um...where do you want me to start?" The glare he got told him exactly where.

"Well," he looked at his lap, "I took a shower and when I got out and went back to my room all my clothes were gone except for that outfit and then I woke up Ryoma and asked him where my clothes were and he said he didn't know and then we started arguing and then he ran out. And I couldn't find him because he was hiding in your room with you and Fuji-sempai. And then he came out and I was standing right there because I knew he was in there and we went back to our room and then..." Momo trailed off as his face turned bright red.

"Go on," Oishi encouraged.

"I just... lost it. I don't know what came over me. Somehow he ended up in the cat suit and we were walking down the stairs and next thing I know he's falling and... oh God, I'm the worst boyfriend ever!" Momo put his head in his hands. "He must hate me. He must never want to see me again. Not that I blame him."

Oishi sat next to Momo and patted his shoulder comfortingly. Momo sniffled.

"It'll be okay, Momo. I'm sure Echizen doesn't hate you."

"How could he still want to be with me after I was so... crazy? He's probably worried I'm gonna start beating the crap out of him every time he does something wrong!"

Tezuka glared at him.

"...Oh. Sore spot. Sorry, Buchou."

"Twenty laps."

"But you said you couldn't punish me!"

"I said I couldn't punish you as harshly as I'd like to. Twenty laps, now."

Momo dragged himself up off the couch and out the door.

"Well I guess this is over then?" Taka asked, standing up. "I'm going to go call An-chan then." He left.

"So Inui, did you take care of things with Kaidoh?" Oishi asked with a smile.

"Yes, though Kaoru is rather suspicious of me at the moment..."

"Why?" Tezuka and Oishi questioned in tandem.

"Because I was 'really gentle' with him," Inui muttered as he took out his notebook.

"Are you usually not?" Oishi seemed confused.

"Not to the extent I was being..."

"This is my fault then..." Eiji looked at his feet sadly. "I took Momo and Ochibi's clothes..."

"No it's not, Eiji." Fuji tangled his fingers in the red hair and brought their acrobat into a hug. " Momo was being an idiot. He should have believed Echizen."

"But I-I shouldn't have played tricks on them." Eiji frowned. "I'm sorry, Ochibi!"

"It's fine, Kikumaru-sempai," Ryoma mumbled. "It's stupid Momo-sempai's fault."

"Well, you know, Ryoma," Fuji said, "you could try being a little more accommodating."

"What do you mean, accommodating?"

"Well, you and Momo aren't exactly the most... affectionate couple around, are you? For instance, is it really that hard to call Momo by his given name?"

"Nya, I dunno, I still call Oishi 'Oishi' most of the time, and we've been together forever," Eiji said.

"But has Oishi ever asked you to call him Shuichiro?" Fuji asked.

"Nope." Eiji shrugged. "Maybe Fuji's right, Ochibi-chan. Sometimes I feel really bad for Momo because you're so mean to him sometimes."

"Mean?"

"Yes, mean," Fuji cut in. "You still treat him like your best friend instead of your boyfriend, and that's not exactly fair to Momo. He's looking for more than that."

"It's give and take..." Kaidoh said suddenly.

"Kaidoh's right. What do you give Momo?" Fuji asked. Ryoma thought and was horrified when the only thing he could think of was sex. "Am I right in assuming that sex is the only thing?" Ryoma blushed at that. "And what does Momo do for you?"

"Well he's nice, and he does all sorts of embarrassing stuff for me in public, and sex of course..." Ryoma trailed off.

"He acts like a boyfriend, Echizen. That's our point."

"So what should I do?"

"Well, Mitsu likes it when I cook for him, but I know you can't cook too well. I could teach you if you wanted," Fuji suggested.

"Oishi just likes it when I cuddle him." Eiji smiled innocently. Fuji and Eiji looked at Kaidoh expectantly.

"Um... Inui-sempai... Inui-sempai is strange. He always likes different things so I just comply with whatever he hints at for me to do...?" He sounded questioning in his words.

"Aw, Kaidoh, It looks like you need some help too!" Fuji pushed him over to sit next to Ryoma while he and Eiji moved to sit opposite them. "Number one rule as an uke?"

"Always use lube?" Ryoma asked with a tilt of his head.

"No, silly, keep your seme happy. A happy seme means a happy uke. Just like a happy uke means a happy seme. Keep you seme content, but don't let everything be 'give'. Don't wait on them hand and foot. Fortunately this isn't the case for either of you. I think tomorrow both of you should try to do everything you can think of to make Inui and Momo completely happy."

"But Inui-sempai is happy... as far as I know, at least. He would have said something if he wasn't."

"Nya, since it's Inui, maybe that's true..." Eiji said, frowning thoughtfully. "Maybe you could, I dunno, offer to test new Inui Juice flavors for him...?"

Kaidoh and Ryoma gave him horrified looks.

"...Never mind. I dunno, the only things I can think of that Inui likes are making weird juice, collecting data, and having sex. Hm... maybe you could drink Inui Juice and let him collect data on your body's reaction to it while you're having sex?"

Kaidoh blinked.

"That's a stupid idea, Kikumaru-sempai," Ryoma said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Just a suggestion, nya..."

"It's not like he doesn't do that in the first place..." Kaidoh grumbled.

It was Eiji's turn to look horrified as Fuji snorted into his hand. "He would!"

Kaidoh smiled a bit. "He times how long it takes to get his clothes off..."

"That is so _weird_!" Eiji looked at him in mild astonishment.

Kaidoh nodded and a small smile crept onto his face.

"Wait, he was _complaining_ about you being gentle?" Oishi looked extremely confused.

"Well… not exactly..." Inui scratched the back of his neck. "He was concerned if there was something wrong with _me_..."

Tezuka pursed his lips. "It's really that rare that you're gentle with him?"

"No! Well-I have been gentle before, of course, though perhaps not as gentle as I was today-"

"How often, would you say?" Oishi asked.

"...Approximately 12.7 percent of the time," Inui said guiltily.

Oishi sighed. "It looks as if Momo isn't the only one who needs some brushing up on the seme rules..."

"Look at him blush! He likes it!" Eiji giggled, collapsing into Fuji's lap. "That's so cute, Kaoru-kun!"

Kaidoh frowned.

"Ah, don't be like that! It's just one of those things, right? Like how Oishi won't kiss me after he gives me head until he brushes his teeth..." Eiji cocked his head to the side when the other three looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"Kikumaru-sempai said 'head'!"

"...So? It's not like you guys have never gotten it!"

"Of course we have, Kikumaru-sempai. It just seemed strange coming out of your mouth..." Kaidoh said bluntly.

"Huh? I don't get it..." Eiji tilted his head with a small frown.

"It's because you're so cute and innocent, Eiji." Fuji nuzzled Eiji's neck affectionately.

"Mou..."Eiji pouted. "I don't wanna be cute! I wanna be sexy like Fujiko!"

"Oh Eiji," Fuji rubbed the acrobat's hair, "Don't be like me, please...?"

"Why?" Had Inui not had on his glasses the captains would have seen him blink in confusion. "Kaoru's not hurt, and I don't make him do things against his will, nor does he ever complain. I don't see anything wrong..."

As soon as he finished he knew it sounded stupid, just by the looks on Tezuka and Oishi's faces.

"I feel the urge to give you laps..." Tezuka said, rubbing his temples.

"Inui," Oishi said patiently, "there's more to relationships than just... what you said. Don't you ever do, say, romantic things for Kaidoh?"

"Is it really normal to do those things often?"

"Not often exactly, but enough that... that he doesn't feel like you're neglecting him."

"...Do you think Kaidoh feels like I neglect him?"

"No, not necessarily..." Oishi sighed. "Tezuka?"

"Nya, why not, Fujiko?"

"Because we all love you just the way you are. Besides, I'm sure Oishi thinks you're sexy, and isn't that all that matters?"

"I guess so. You really think Oishi thinks I'm sexy?"

"...Doesn't he have to?" Ryoma asked, his tone bored as usual. "He gets it up when you have sex, doesn't he?"

"Ochibi-chan!"

"That was so crass..." Fuji deadpanned.

Ryoma returned the flat look. "I'm hungry..." Kaidoh and Fuji shook their heads in disbelief while Eiji busted into giggles.

"No wonder the idiot is always so frustrated with you..."

"Probably not, after all you said it yourself. You're his first everything. He doesn't know any different." Tezuka leaned forward. "What if someone else were to come along and show him just how good a relationship could be for him? If you think about it, you're being very much like Echizen."

Had Inui been drinking something he would have choked, was he _really_ as bad as Echizen? "Am I _really_ that bad? I don't blatantly ignore his emotional needs, and I always take his side..." Inui argued in his defense.

"Inui, the first rule of being a seme is keep your uke happy. A happy uke means a happy seme." Oishi smiled brightly.

"Mitsu, will you come here for a minute?" Fuji called down the stairs. Tezuka nodded at the other semes and the trio trailed up the stairs.

"Yes, Syusuke?"

"Mitsu, I would like you to order us pizza." Fuji smiled. "It isn't fair to make Taka-san cook for us the entire time. Oishi, I would like you to explain to Eiji that you think he is sexy. And Inui, for my sanity's sake take Kaidoh and work out your problems please!" Fuji shoved the second year at Inui with an exasperated expression.

Tezuka rolled his eyes, leave it to Fuji to give relationship advice when his relationship wasn't sound. Oishi blushed and gently brought Eiji into his arms.

"Eiji, it doesn't matter if I think you're sexy or not. If you are comfortable with yourself then I can ask for nothing more," Oishi whispered just loud enough for the acrobat to hear.

"So you don't think I'm sexy..."

"No Eiji, you're breathtaking." Oishi kissed his uke sweetly before releasing him back to Fuji.

Fuji looked at the Emerald Pair. "Return him in an hour's time."

Inui sighed and led Kaidoh out the door and down the hall to their bedroom.

"Inui-sempai? What problems was Fuji-sempai talking about?" Kaidoh asked, sitting on their bed cross-legged.

"Apparently I am not a fulfilling seme," Inui said quietly.

Kaidoh narrowed his eyes in confusion. "I... I think you're a good seme, Inui-sempai."

"You think so because you've never been with anyone else. I... could have been doing a much better job than I have been. We don't do many things together outside of tennis and sex. And I'm frankly terrified that if someone were to come along who offered you more than that, I would lose you."

Kaidoh sighed. "Inui-sempai, I'm with you because I love you. Nothing, no one, will ever change that."

"Relationships are built on more than just love, Kaoru. Momoshiro and Echizen love each other, and where has that gotten them?"

"That's true, but-"

"Kaoru, please. I want to be a better boyfriend. I'm going to try."

"I... I guess if you're really determined, Inui-sempai..."

Eiji sat back on Fuji's bed, watching Oishi leave with a shy grin.

"Did ya hear that, Fujiko?" Eiji asked eagerly. "Oishi said I'm breathtaking! Isn't that even better than sexy?"

"Of course it is, Eiji. Wouldn't you say, Echizen?"

Ryoma blinked. "Yeah, sure." He missed Kaidoh-they were kindred spirits, both forced into this "uke bonding" idiocy by their overenthusiastic teammates.

"So what are you going to do about Momo?" Fuji asked.

"I really don't feel as though I have to do anything." Ryoma rolled over onto his stomach.

"I am, Kaoru." Inui was sitting behind his dark haired kouhai.

"I have one request." Kaidoh got a Fuji-like spark in his eye. "Don't follow the rest of the semes' examples. I don't like drama and neither do you."

Inui smiled, pulling the viper back against his chest. "That, I do not." He tugged off Kaidoh's bandana and ran his hands through the snaky black locks. Kaidoh hissed in contentment. Hesitantly he pushed his head towards the caressing hand. Inui smiled. "What do you want out of our relationship, Kaoru?"

"Inui-sempai, I really don't see why this is necessary. Everything I can think to want from a relationship, I have."

"But Kaoru, there must be something..." Inui was becoming a bit exasperated.

"Inui-sempai," Kaidoh kissed him to quiet him, "I don't need to be coddled and constantly reassured..."

"Yes you do, Ochibi," Eiji insisted. "You're a really crappy boyfriend. I mean, half of being in love is wanting the other person to be happy, right?" The acrobat looked to Fuji. "Right, Fujiko?"

"That's right, Eiji. I try very hard to make Kunimitsu happy because I love it when he's happy. And Kunimitsu likes when I'm happy as well. That's what makes a relationship work, hence the first rule of being an uke. You do what you can to make each other happy. Don't you care if Momo's happy or not?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then you should try a little harder to be nice to him. I'm sure if you were nicer to him, then he'd be nicer to you. It's almost pathetically simplistic, but I guess that's why so many people have a hard time of it. Now-what does Momo like?"

Ryoma thought. Momo liked burgers, and tennis, and karaoke... but he couldn't do any of those things here. Sex was really the only thing he could think of to do, which was probably a bad thing.

He blinked, flashing back to the night before, and said, "I still haven't said 'I love you' to him."

Fuji raised an eyebrow. "You've had sex with him, but you haven't told him you love him?"

"Forty minutes." Oishi tossed the phone onto the end of the couch near the captain's feet.

"Aa..." Tezuka was laying on his back on the sectional with his knees bent and arms under his head.

Oishi sat down at his head, an amicable smile on his face. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm just a bit worried about what will happen with all of them up there in a room together for so long."

"I wouldn't worry too much, Tezuka; after all, Fuji and Eiji have been tame." Oishi smiled. He noticed a smudge on Tezuka's glasses and removed them without a second thought. He rubbed the light cotton of his shirt over them gently before stopping. He blushed. "Uh-um... I'm sorry, Tezuka..." he stuttered over his words.

Tezuka shook his head and plucked the thin wire frames from his second's hand. "Don't worry about it, Oishi." He twisted himself a bit, propping himself up on the back of the couch and an elbow. With his other hand he reached up and took Oishi's chin in his hand. He kissed him.

"And you two call _me_ a bad seme!"

Oishi jumped. "Momo."

"I can't believe you guys!" Momo closed the door behind him, looking in disbelief at his captains. "Weren't Fuji-sempai and Eiji-sempai just getting in trouble for this yesterday?"

"This isn't the same thing," Tezuka said.

"How is it different?"

"Fuji and Kikumaru wanted to do more than just innocent kissing," the captain explained. "Is it objectionable for two close friends to kiss?"

Momo narrowed his eyes. "That's some thin ice you're walking on. But whatever. I need to talk to Echizen."

"He's with Fuji and Eiji," Oishi said. "In Fuji's room."

"...That sounds dangerous."

"Possibly. But Fuji's in a certain mood, so you might be able to steal Echizen for a while. He gave Inui an hour with Kaidoh."

"Right, thanks." Momo turned and jogged up the stairs.

"I should be doing those things, though..."

"Inui-sempai, this is stupid. I just told you, what, an hour or so ago? That you didn't have to change yourself or any of the things you do for me, that I liked you the way you were."

"But-"

"How long did it take you to earn my trust, Inui-sempai?"

"Um well... the better part of three years..."

"Outside of the Regulars, how long do you think it would take for someone to do that?" Kaidoh looked a bit irritated.

"A minimum of 4.53 years, but Kao-"

"Then if you ever see anyone who is interested in me you have 4.53 years to get rid of them." Kaidoh made his point quite effectively.

Inui couldn't say anything to that; his data wouldn't lie to him. He pouted at the smaller form resting quietly against his chest.

"Stop it, Sempai..." Kaidoh said without looking up, knowing the look his seme was giving him.

Inui smiled, thinking _I have trained you well, Kaoru..._

Kaidoh looked up. "So what now?" He looked at the clock. "We have a little over half an hour left..."

Inui looked in astonishment at the clock. Time sure did fly when you were being sappy.

The trio of ukes looked up as someone knocked on the door. "Fuji-sempai?" they heard Momo ask uncertainly. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, Momo." Fuji smiled pleasantly as his kouhai opened the door, peeking in hesitantly. "Is there something we can help you with?"

"Um... I was wondering if I could talk to Ryoma for a while..."

Fuji pursed his lips. "I suppose. You have ten minutes. I expect him back no later than that."

"But Oishi-sempai said you gave Inui-sempai and the Mamushi an hour!"

"Would you like me to shorten it to five?"

"No! No, I'm sorry. Ten's fine. Um, Ryoma?"

Ryoma slid off the bed and followed Momo out of the room silently, his head bowed, hiding his eyes.

Momo didn't waste time moving into their room and instead maneuvered Ryoma to the corner. "Look, Ryoma, I'm really sorry, and...Hey, why aren't you looking at me?" Momo stopped to tilt Ryoma's head up.

"I'm sorry, Takeshi..."

"No, no, no, you don't have to call me 'Takeshi' if you don't want to, Ryo-chan... And I'll understand perfectly if you don't want to date me anymore and if you want to cut this off right now, just say the word..." Momo paused to take a breath. Ryoma threw his arms around the taller boy's trim waist, burying his face in his chest and nuzzling. Momo wrapped his arms around the smaller figure pressed against him and smiled.

Golden orbs flicked up to lock with purple. "I love you, Takeshi..."

Momo's eyes widened in surprise. "W-what?"

"I love you," Ryoma repeated, his cheeks reddening. "I-I'm sorry I haven't said it before. I should've. We could've avoided all this stupid drama..."

"It's okay. You're saying it now." Momo leaned down and gently pressed his lips against Ryoma's. "I love you too."

A/N: Aww.


	13. The Games We Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook - The Games We Play

The Notebook - The Games We Play

A/N: Well. This is chapter thirteen. There are nineteen chapters. The Notebook will end on March 20, so mark your calendars (we have). However, there will also be multiple spinoffs and a sequel, so don't fret, friends.

I'll take this time to pimp our other fics for the Mpreg lovers and Mary-Sue haters. Not enough people have read Rachel Echizen, the Princess of Tennis: A Parody.

Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Besides Ryomoka. But she's not around anymore. Sad face.

Warnings: There is a distinct lack of random sex in this chapter. Hm. We are slipping. However, there _is_ Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare, which means there is some sexual stuff going on (as well as one of my favorite lines in the fic), and… that's pretty much it. Like I said, we're slipping.

Eiji looked around the room, immensely bored. "What now, Fujiko? It's boring in here. It was more fun when we had Ochibi and Kaidoh because we could ask them embarrassing questions."

"Mm... well, Ryoma will be back in five minutes, and Kaidoh in twenty-five, so maybe then we can play truth or dare."

"Or Never Have I Ever!"

"But we don't have any alcohol... Besides, we don't want to be drunk before the meeting tonight."

"Then we could use something non-alcoholic, couldn't we?" Eiji bounced up and down.

"Please? It's my favorite game!"

"I suppose."

"Yay!"

Momo, once again, was starting to feel a surge of pride course through him at Ryoma's words. He lifted the smaller boy up and hugged him tightly. Despite the fact that Ryoma was struggling to get down. He did not like being picked up; it made him feel smaller than he already was. "Quit squirming and let me hold you!" Momo demanded as he squeezed the freshman in his arms tighter.

Ryoma sighed. "Fine..." They stood there like that for so long Ryoma wondered why Momo's arms weren't tired of holding him up. Then he noticed he had wrapped his arms and legs around the larger boy in a return embrace.

"Whose clothes are you wearing, Ryo-chan?" Momo asked, finally setting him on his feet.

"Fuji-sempai's." He lifted the sleeve up to Momo's face. "Don't they smell good?"

"Come on, let's go find your clothes." Momo placed his hand on Ryoma's head and mussed the dark hair affectionately.

"But the time limit-"

"Fuji-sempai will get over it."

Ryoma raised an eyebrow. "Did you hit your head? Fuji-sempai doesn't just get over things. He holds them over your head until he exacts revenge. Horrifying, demoralizing, possibly bloody revenge. You missing a ten-minute time limit could cause us both a very painful death. I'm too young to die, Takeshi."

"We've got five minutes left. It won't take that long to find your clothes."

"If we're late I swear I will not have sex with you for a month."

"You're the type that would actually keep that promise, too..."

"Is there anything you and Tezuka haven't done?"

"We haven't had sex in public. Yet. I'm saving that one for his eighteenth birthday."

Eiji giggled.

"But there's a lot of really weird stuff that I don't have any desire to try."

"Like what?"

"Have you ever heard of German fetish porn?"

"Um... no..."

"Good, let's keep it that way."

Oishi groaned as he heard a shout of 'BUT I WANT TO KNOW!' from upstairs. He buried his face further into Tezuka's shoulder. They had settled lengthwise along the squishy couch and were cuddled together. A door slammed open and the pounding of feet and giggling came down the stairs. The redheaded cat-boy slid down the banister just after the tensai cleared the last step. Kikumaru reached out and grabbed the smaller brunette, tackling him to the floor.

"Gotcha, Fujiko!" He began tickling mercilessly.

Tezuka and Oishi each maneuvered to a half-sitting position to watch as their ukes played. Tears of laughter began to form in the corners of crystalline blue eyes. It was so rare to see Fuji Syusuke with no mask.

"Eiji, no, I hate being tickled!" Fuji laughed, struggling in vain to fight Eiji off.

Eiji cackled evilly. "Too bad, Fujiko! Oishi, help me hold him down!"

Oishi's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Sorry, Eiji, you're on your own."

"Oishi, you meanie!"

Ryoma moaned as Momo nibbled lightly on his earlobe. "Stop..."

"You don't really want me to stop."

"It's been ten minutes... the longer we wait to go back, the more screwed we are."

"I'll screw you..."

Ryoma stiffened noticeably.

Momo stopped immediately. "I'm sorry, Ryoma..." The hands that had been playful were instantaneously soothing and reassuring. They smoothed over the bare skin of Ryoma's top half when a thin t-shirt covered the exposed skin.

Fuji laid sprawled across his best friend, panting and out of breath. The semes still watched them curiously from the couch, as if they were some strange alien creatures invading their territory. "Ne, Fujiko, can we all play together?

"I don't see why not," Fuji said as Eiji sat up and situated the other boy comfortably in his lap.

A sparkle went through Eiji's eyes. "Never have I ever given Buchou a hickey!" he crowed.

Fuji grinned. "Guilty."

"Um. Me too," Oishi admitted.

"Really? When?" Eiji asked interestedly.

"That-that night."

"Oh! I see." Eiji grinned. "Fujiko's turn now!"

"Hm... what haven't I done..."

Ryoma came sprinting down the stairs at that moment, Momo following. "Um. There you are, Fuji-sempai. We-we just spent the last-" he glanced at his watch, "three minutes in your room trying to figure out where you went."

Fuji raised an eyebrow. "Really."

"Um. Yup."

"Well then, you can join in our game of Never Have I Ever."

"Okay." Momo sat in one of the plush chairs and dragged Ryoma into it next to him.

"Never have I ever been a voyeur to another couple in this room." Fuji wasn't expecting every person in the room to drink.

Inui was nipping a light trail down the back of his kouhai's spine when he was stopped. His thumbs were tucked into Kaidoh's waistband and a light touch removing them told him that they wouldn't have enough time for him to do what he wanted to, but his uke looked thoroughly molested, and therefore part of his goal had been achieved.

"I will never hear the end of this..." Kaidoh pulled himself up from where Inui had stretched him out across the bed and ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to comb it into submission.

Inui smiled in amusement as his uke's hair fell back into his face, making the smaller boy glare at the unruly locks. "No, you probably won't, seventy-six percent."

Kaidoh stuck his tongue out only to have it captured by his sempai's warm mouth.

"Yeah you have, Fujiko! That night when we were all together, you watched me and-" Eiji squeaked as Oishi hand hastily covered his mouth.

"Eiji, don't bring that up, please..."

"But it counts! Fuji can't cheat! Doesn't it count?"

Fuji shrugged. "I don't know if that actually counted as voyeurism. You knew I was there."

"But!" Eiji pouted. "Fine..."

"Maybe-shouldn't we go back?" Kaidoh panted as Inui trailed kisses down his neck. "Fuji-sempai will be angry..."

Inui sat up, sighing. "I suppose. Let's go."

Kaidoh blinked. Usually Inui would put up a fight before allowing Kaidoh to get away without sex. It was nice that Inui was trying to be more accommodating, but Kaidoh wasn't sure he liked it. It just wasn't... Inui-sempai.

The pair straightened themselves up and left the room. As Inui shut their door Kaidoh reached down and laced his finger through the hand his sempai wasn't using. He knew it wasn't the same as sex, but it was at least physical contact. When the analyst gave him a confused look he just hissed, allowing the oncoming blush to creep into his cheeks. He didn't see the smile on Inui's face, but everyone else did as they came down the stairs and joined the circle.

"Okay, okay, my turn!" Momo said as everyone's laughter died down. Ryoma had finally noticed the fact that they had substituted his grape Ponta for alcohol. "Never have I ever... hm... Never have I ever given my boyfriend head." It was fun to make everyone drink.

"Ochibi, you didn't drink..." Eiji looked rather confused.

"Eiji-sempai, when you haven't done it you don't have to drink..."

Everyone looked at him shocked.

"Yes, you have, Echizen," Momo said exasperatedly.

"...I have?"

Momo leaned over and whispered in his ear, and Ryoma flushed bright red. "Oh. That's what head is?" He took a drink, pulling his cap down over his eyes.

"It's your turn, Echizen," Fuji said, trying to keep the amused smirk off his face.

"Never have I ever had a foursome."

Tezuka's eyes narrowed, Eiji blushed, Oishi twitched, and Fuji just smiled. They all drank.

"Ii data..."

Kaidoh tried to think of something as it was his turn. " Never have I ever had sex with a girl."

"Does Fujiko count?" Eiji snickered looking around Oishi at the tensai.

"Eiji..."

"Yes Fujiko?"

"Run!" Fuji was on his feet in an instant and running after their acrobat. Eiji was laughing as the brunette sputtered indignant curses at him.

"Tezuka... should we...?"

"There is an eighty-two percent chance that if Tezuka takes action he will be going without sex for a set amount of time. Fuji is very sensitive about his masculinity..." Inui scribbled. "Never have I ever refused to kiss my boyfriend after giving him head until I have brushed my teeth."

Oishi blushed, but drank as an angry shout came from Eiji, who Fuji had pinned to the ground by this point.

"I topped you!" Fuji yelled, pinning Eiji's hands above his head while tickling him with his free hand.

"I let you top me!" Eiji countered, giggling uncontrollably.

"Oh, did you? I didn't realize how discontented you were with being on the bottom when you were screaming my name!"

Oishi cleared his throat. "Taka-san, it's your turn."

"Uh, right. Um... never have I ever... had sex in the clubroom."

"Fuji, you have to drink," Tezuka called as Inui and Kaidoh downed a shot. "Let Kikumaru go."

"This isn't over, Eiji," Fuji warned, standing.

Fuji returned to the group and drank before saying, "Never have I ever video taped myself masturbating and given it to my boyfriend as a gift." Eiji returned to the circle, hitting Fuji on the head lightly, before drinking.

"Never have I ever dressed up as a cat for my boyfriend." Tezuka decided to make them both drink so they'd quit glaring. Each of the ukes picked up their Ponta cans and drank.

"Snake?" Momo peered at his fellow second year.

"Inui-sempai is just as bestiality-loving as Buchou and Takeshi then..." Ryoma smirked and tried to move closer to his boyfriend as Kaidoh glared threateningly at him.

"Never have I ever... Hm… never have I ever had sex in public," Eiji said. He knew the only people he could possibly get with this question were Inui and Kaidoh, but he was curious as to the answer. Much to the acrobat's delight, the pair drank, Kaidoh's face flushing darkly.

"I knew it!" Eiji grinned. "Inui, is there anything you haven't gotten poor Kaidoh to do?"

"Very little, Kikumaru," Inui answered, smirking.

"Mou, I haven't even gotten Mitsu to do that yet!" Fuji pouted huffily.

The doorbell interrupted him, and Oishi jumped up to pay for the pizza. It turned out the pizza boy had gotten lost on the way to the cabin, and after profuse apologies he left. Oishi set down the boxes in the middle of the circle and they got back to the game.

"Hm... Never have I ever messed around with my boyfriend in my sibling's room."

"Does being-"

"Yes, it does."

Tezuka and Fuji drank, almost needless to say, as well as Eiji and Oishi.

"Never have I ever involved a cactus in foreplay." Momo laughed as his close-eyed sempai drank reluctantly.

"That was a cheap shot, Momo-chan. I will get you back for that."

"Never have I ever watched a porno with someone who I wasn't dating," Ryoma said.

Fuji and Eiji drank, and the rest of the team gave them uncertain looks.

"Not together," Fuji promised. "None of you know what it's like because you don't have older siblings, but they have a lot of fun making you feel uncomfortable."

"My brother told me about losing his virginity when I was eight," Eiji added. "In explicit detail. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life."

Fuji shuffled around Tezuka and hugged Eiji gently. "It's okay, Eiji. I know how you feel."

Tezuka and Oishi glanced at each other and rolled their eyes. Sometimes they just didn't understand their ukes, and they didn't want to either.

"Never have I ever gotten poison ivy from having sex in the woods." Kaidoh looked very pleased as Fuji and Tezuka both drank.

"Never have I ever talked my way out of a ticket," Inui said. Fuji, Eiji, Momo, Ryoma, and, unexpectedly, Tezuka drank.

"I was trying to run over Mizuki..." Fuji mumbled.

"Shouting at people out my window..." Eiji was still gaping at his friend.

"Racing with Kamio..." Momo griped. He had lost.

"Joy ride..."

The team turned to Tezuka. "I didn't use a turn signal," he said flatly.

Everyone laughed.

It was Taka-san's turn again, and he furrowed his brows thoughtfully. "Hm. Never have I ever had sex in an elevator."

Tezuka threw Fuji a Look. "You told him about that?"

"No. I didn't tell anyone about that."

Taka flushed. "Um. It was when we were staying at that hotel for nationals last year, right? The security people came to my room to complain... I don't know why they picked _my_ room, but..."

Tezuka rubbed the bridge of his nose. "So everyone who happened to be working security at that time saw what happened."

"Probably more than that. There was a tape."

Eiji giggled. "I bet they kept it so they could watch it whenever they were bored. You guys should go stay in that hotel sometime and see if anyone recognizes you."

"Never have I ever mud wrestled," Tezuka said after a moment of thinking. Fuji and Eiji both drank, giggling at obviously amusing memories.

"Saa, never have I ever used toothpaste as lubricant." Oishi and Eiji drank. it wasn't that surprising to the team with the redhead's dental hygiene habits.

"Never have I ever showered in the girls' locker room and not gotten caught!" Eiji giggled as Fuji drank next to him.

"Never ever has my boyfriend been seen outside one of our rooms in a sexual costume," Oishi said. Momo and Tezuka drank.

"Yuuta," Fuji explained simply.

"I don't understand how your poor brother isn't scarred for life..." Oishi muttered.

"Yuuta _is_ scarred for life," Eiji said.

"I think the fact that he's a seme and I'm an uke makes up for it, though," Fuji said. "He held it over my head for a week after the first time he walked in on Tezuka and me."

Yuuta semes Mizuki?" Inui asked, surprised.

"I didn't believe it either at first," Fuji said. "Dear little Miruki-kun seems a tad too controlling to uke, but I highly doubt Yuuta was his first-" Fuji's lips pursed angrily as he said this- "so he probably knows you can have just as much control from the bottom as the top if you really want."

"You would know, Fuji-sempai," Ryoma quipped with a smirk and a tug of his cap.

"No, not really. I don't mind letting Kunimitsu take control of things..." His smile widened a fraction.

"Mou, never have I ever bottomed to my uke," Momo broke in. Tezuka drank.

"Ne, Oishi, could we try that?" Eiji looked at his boyfriend curiously.

"Would you let me do that?" Ryoma looked up at Momo, his left eyebrow arched up into his bangs.

"But you're uke..." Momo said.

"Ne, Fuji-sempai, couldn't I seme?" Ryoma looked for back-up.

"Well, you see Ryoma-kun, this is how it is. No."

Ryoma got quiet and stared, expecting an explanation.

"Hierarchy..." Fuji sighed. This needed to be explained to Eiji and Ryoma, as well as Oishi and Momo, he supposed.

Tezuka pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing what was to come. He had been in the room when Fuji had come up with this...thing. The little brunette had chattered aimlessly about this and that and his reasoning while Tezuka made a poor attempt at doing his school work and not threatening to drown his uke's precious cacti to shut him up.

"You see, within the Regulars-except you, Taka-san, since you're the only straight one-there's a certain hierarchy of seme...ness. Inui's at the top."

Inui grinned. "Oh?"

"You're the tallest, and Kunimitsu is a little bit more girly looking than you, so he's second." Tezuka glared at him, but Fuji ignored him and went on, "Oishi's third, because-well, Tezuka did top you, Oishi, so it's obvious he's more seme than you."

"I'm last?" Momo exclaimed disbelievingly.

"You're the youngest, and the shortest," Fuji explained. "Anyway, now we start with the ukes. Eiji's the least uke of the four of us, so he's at the top. Then me, then Kaidoh, and then Ryoma."

"I... don't understand why I'm second to last," Kaidoh said.

"It's not so much to do with appearance this time as how you act. You mostly go along with whatever Inui asks-very uke-ish behavior."

"Why the hell am I last?" Ryoma whined.

The others looked at him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world-which, really, it was.

"You're the baby, Ochibi," Eiji said exasperatedly. "You're little and cute. You scream 'uke' more than me, Fujiko, and Kaidoh all combined."

"But I'm the Prince of Tennis!"

Momo was the first to start laughing, earning him a sharp punch to his right arm. Eiji soon followed. Ryoma crossed his arms and tucked his chin against his chest. Stupid sempais! They just didn't get it!

"I hate you all..." he muttered. Momo snaked an arm around the sullen boy's waist and drew him, surprisingly without protest, into his lap.

"Sorry, Ryo-chan, but it's true." Momo tried to soothe.

"Never have I ever had a crush on a sempai other than my boyfriend." Ryoma muttered.

"What was that Ochibi?"

"Never have I ever had a crush on a sempai, other than my boyfriend." Ryoma repeated, louder this time.

Momo drank, as well as Fuji, Oishi, Eiji, Taka, and even Tezuka. Kaidoh was the last to, grudgingly, drink.

"Inui?" Fuji urged.

Inui was scribbling away incessantly. "All of my interests have been younger." His hand discreetly closed over Kaidoh's.

"Mitsu?"

"Yamato-buchou..." Tezuka said with an embarrassed blush.

"Same..." Fuji blushed.

"Fuji-sempai has a thing for captains?" Momo said snarkily.

"Sugiyama-fukubuchou..." Eiji blushed darkly.

"And Kikumaru for vice captains then? Ii data..."

"Oishi?"

"Takesue-sempai..." Oishi looked down, ashamed.

"Isn't that the jerk who hurt Buchou?" Eiji looked confused.

"That's when it stopped…" Oishi balled his hands into fists in his lap.

"What about you, Momo?" Fuji tried to deflect the conversation.

Momo laughed nervously, "Well you see...the first few times I saw you I thought you were a girl and..."

"Strike two, Momoshiro Takeshi..." Fuji's eyes peeked open. "What about you, Kaidoh, since obviously Ryoma-kun hasn't ever shown affection to anyone but Momo..."

Kaidoh flushed. "Kikumaru-sempai..."

His fellow Regulars, besides Inui, stared at him in shock for a long moment.

"Nya, Kaoru-chan used to like me?" Eiji said disbelievingly. Suddenly Eiji remembered the first time he'd met Kaidoh, back in his second year at Seigaku. He'd been coming out of the locker room shower, dressed in nothing but a fluffy white towel around his waist, and had bumped into the then-first year. They both crashed to the ground; Eiji was the first one up and held a hand out to Kaidoh, saying "Mengo, mengo, nya" sheepishly. Kaidoh had blushed bright red and dashed out of the locker room, and Eiji was left blinking in utter bemusement. "Ohhhh."

Kaidoh's blush deepened. "It was first year, and you reminded me of a cat. I thought Inui-sempai was creepy then..." He gave his boyfriend an apologetic look, but Inui shook his head.

"It's fine. I am rather creepy. Kawamura, what sempai did you like?"

"Kazuha-sempai, the girls' captain last year," Taka said with a slight blush.

"It's your turn again, Mamushi," Momo jested.

"Never have I ever used the excuse of dropping a utensil to give my boyfriend a blow job under the table." Kaidoh looked at Fuji with a faint smirk. The tensai drank and resisted the urge to stick his tongue out.

"Never have I ever had the 'lights on, light off' argument." Inui was scribbling his new data down.

Tezuka and Fuji drank, and then Momo and Ryoma. It wasn't surprising that Momo and Ryoma had had that argument, but they all looked to Fuji for explanation.

"Mitsu likes the lights on, not me."

Eiji giggled. "I never would have guessed it'd be Buchou!"

"There's lots of things you wouldn't guess about him, Eiji." Fuji smiled secretively.

"Like his dirty German talk thing?"

Taka, Inui, Ryoma, Momo, and Kaidoh looked at Tezuka, varying degrees of interest and surprise in their expressions.

"Dirty German talk?" Inui asked, picking up his pen.

Fuji smiled. "I like it when Tezuka speaks German during sex, though. It's very... sexy."

Tezuka gave Fuji another Look, and the tensai looked back at him innocently.

"Ii data..."

"Taka-san's turn," Fuji said brightly.

"Never have I ever been caught masturbating." Fuji, Eiji, and Momo drank all muttering something about 'goddamn siblings.'

"Never have I ever had to run a hundred laps around the tennis courts," Tezuka said.

Everyone drank except Kaidoh and Taka, who rarely if ever broke rules.

"Ne, Mitsu, can we play something else before Eiji and I drink our weight in Ponta?"

"What do you want to play now?"

"I don't know..."

"Lets play truth or dare with teams! I call Fujiko!" Eiji latched onto the smaller body next to him. Ryoma curled tightly to Momo's chest, signaling he'd chosen his partner.

"But there will be one person without a partner..." Inui said, looking up from his notebook.

"It's fine. I'd rather referee after what happened last time," Taka said good-naturedly.

"Assuming Kaidoh and Inui have paired..."

"Buchou pair, nya!" Eiji giggled.

Tezuka sighed. He didn't mind pairing with Oishi, but he'd rather pair with Fuji, to be honest-that way, he couldn't be on the receiving end of the tensai's dares, and he didn't have to watch Fuji and Eiji do things together, should they be dared to.

"Nya, Taka-san, can we go first?" Eiji asked excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"Ah, yeah, sure, Eiji."

Eiji grinned and whispered in Fuji's ear. Fuji shook his head. "No, we don't have-"

"Oh, right. Well, how about-" Eiji whispered something again.

"No, I only have chocolate flavored."

"You always have raspberry!"

"I didn't think I'd need it on vacation."

Tezuka's eyes narrowed. "I don't want to know what you two were planning on doing with raspberry flavored lube, but how does Kikumaru know about that?"

Fuji just smiled and disappeared upstairs. "Buchou pair, truth or dare?"

They looked at each other and said, "Truth" together, as if they were dumb enough to take a dare from their ukes.

"Mou, FUJIKO, THEY PICKED TRUTH~!" Eiji shouted upstairs. A pouting Fuji walked back down cloppily.

"Okay then, if you weren't already in relationships with us, would you date each other?" Fuji sat back down, looking up at the semes through his bangs.

Oishi looked at Tezuka. "I... well."

"Judging from our friendship before we met the two of you," Tezuka said, "it's quite possible."

"There's a seventy-eight percent chance that you would have, had Fuji and Kikumaru not gone to Seigaku," Inui added.

"It wouldn't have lasted, though, I don't think," Oishi said. "I mean-you two are..."

Eiji grinned broadly. "Your perfect uke matches, nya!"

Oishi had the decency to blush while Tezuka coughed slightly.

"Momoshiro and Echizen, truth or dare?" Tezuka questioned.

"Dare!"

"Echizen, drink a body shot of Ponta off Momo." Oishi smiled as he gave the dare.

Eiji and Fuji exchanged glances. They didn't think their other halves would compete so flawlessly. They passed more looks back and forth as the teams youngest member drank Ponta from Momo's naval. The next dare was planned out.

"Mamushi, are you guys doing truth or dare?" Momo said, popping back up.

Inui glanced at Kaidoh. "I would prefer not to take a dare from Momoshiro. Is that acceptable?"

"I guess," Kaidoh mumbled.

"Truth," Inui said, and Momo deflated.

"What is with you picking truth all the time?" he asked dejectedly. "Fine, fine. What's the weirdest effect Inui Juice has ever had on one of you?"

"...I turned purple once," Kaidoh said. "And... hm... there was the time I couldn't smell anything for a week."

"No, no, those weren't the strangest," Inui argued. "It was the glow-in-the-dark-"

" _Inui-sempai!"_ Kaidoh growled, flushing. "Not that one."

"But Kaoru, we must be honest."


	14. Inside and Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook_ : Inside and Out

_The Notebook_ : Inside and Out

A/N: We find out about the Kantou Region Uke Cult in this chapter! (Or not.) Uh… we're together, Scarlet's at my house for Thanksgiving, so this is pretty awesome and special and whatnot. We've both recently gotten into Axis Powers Hetalia, which everyone should watch because it's spectacular. And… that's pretty much it. We'll restate that the last chapter of the Notebook will be out on March 20, 2010. We're really sad that we finished writing it. Keep looking for the Off the Spirals, we've already started posting them.

Disclaimer: It'd be awesome if we owned it, but unfortunately, we don't.

Warnings: Truth or Dare and all the dirtiness that comes with it, fishnets and leather, Fuji and Eiji knowing way too much about Sailor Moon for boys their age, and Yukimura making a guest appearance, which personally we think deserves a warning. And that's all. Again, no random sex. (God, what's wrong with us?)

Kaidoh hissed and hid his face in Inui's shoulder.

"Once," Inui started, "after Kaidoh sampled a juice of mine that originally seemed to have no adverse effects, we were... participating in..." He coughed. "Certain activities, and after... culmination... we realized that the juice had made Kaidoh's semen glow in the dark. Temporarily, of course."

There was a prolonged moment of silence that Kaidoh thought would never end. Then Momo barked a laugh, and the others followed suit. Even Tezuka was struggling to keep his emotionless façade, Kaidoh realized, his face burning. God, this was humiliating. Stupid Inui-sempai.

"Tezuka-buchou, which do you and Oishi-sempai choose?"

"I think we trust you to come up with an acceptable dare, Kaidoh." Tezuka glanced to Oishi for affirmation. He nodded with a slight smile.

"Trade clothing." The dare was short, seemingly simple, and quite acceptable—"Without using your hands." Or not.

"You can't be serious—" Oishi started.

"Quite." Inui's notebook appeared, seemingly from nothing.

"What about buttons?"

"Hands would be acceptable for buttons…?" Kaidoh nodded in agreement to Inui's words.

Tezuka looked for a moment like he wanted to pout. "May I keep my glasses?"

"Will you be able to tell us apart without them?" Inui grinned, such an opportunity to collect Tezuka's data was rare.

"...No. And Oishi's eyes would probably start to hurt."

"Fine, fine, keep them, then."

"Um... guys? Exactly how much clothing are we switching here?" Taka-san asked uneasily.

"All of it," Inui answered casually.

"Underwear too?"

"Why not?"

"Because... I don't know... I mean, I've never seen either Buchou or Oishi in anything less than their boxers, and I don't really want to. Shirts and pants and everything is fine, but... I rule that total nudity is inappropriate."

"And I was really looking forward to it," Fuji muttered. "Taka-san has a point, though. I guess not all of us are comfortable with public nudity."

"You do lots of stuff you're not comfortable with in Truth or Dare," Eiji countered. "That's the whole point."

"Do you want to strip down in front of everyone, Eiji?"

"Not particularly."

"Well," Tezuka cut in, "last time we played, I had to run around the cabin with no clothes on. In the rain."

"I suppose we should... then," Oishi mumbled.

Roughly ten minutes of tripping, laughter, and glaring later Oishi and Tezuka were in each other's clothes. Purple was not Oishi's color, and the shirt Tezuka wore declaring "I'm half a doubles team" was a bit flamboyant in his opinion.

Eiji snickered, "So what's Tezuka and my pair name? We can't be the Golden Pair."

"Hm, that's a good question, Eiji..." Fuji cocked his head.

Tezuka glared. "Do we have to stay like this?"

"Of course, Mitsu."

"Truth or dare, Delusional Pair?" Tezuka griped at the more rambunctious half of the fearsome foursome.

"I take offence to that, Mitsu. If you must call us something along those lines, we're the Dream Pair." Fuji sniffed haughtily.

"Dare!" The red head was smiling at their antics.

"Muffin Pair."

"Huh?" The rest of the team looked at Ryoma.

"Kikumaru-sempai and Buchou are the Muffin Pair."

"Oi! Ochibi! Are you calling us fat!"

"No," Ryoma said, going back to sipping his Ponta. As the other eight stared at him, he sighed and continued, "Eiji-sempai is sugary like a cupcake, but Buchou's got the personality of burnt toast. And muffins are like cupcakes only more bread-y. So, Muffin Pair."

Ryoma glanced at Tezuka, who looked like he was trying to shoot lazer beams out of his eyes at the freshman. "Uh. I mean. Buchou's-very-he's..." He sighed in resignation. "How many laps?"

"Fifty. Wait until after the game."

"Yes, Buchou."

"Do the motions and words to the Sailor Moon transformation." Oishi directed the attention back to the other group of third years tactfully.

"I wanna be Usagi this time, Fujiko!" Eiji hopped up quickly.

"All right then..." Fuji stood up and brushed off his pants as if they were dusty.

"Which one?"

"The one with Usagi and Rini!" Momo requested, earning him strange looks. "I have a little sister!"

"Sure, Momo-sempai..."

"Moon! Crisis! Make up!" Fuji and Eiji shouted together, flinging their arms straight to the sides. They turned to the side and flung their arms and heads back. They moved into a spin, arms now above their heads, and then twirled about each other, arms returning to their sides. The two boys leaned backwards, each on one leg, before erecting themselves again. Eiji enclosed Fuji in his arms in an embrace. Fuji drew back and moved forward to twirl in a small circle, back to where they had embraced, Eiji mirroring his moments behind on the other side. In tandem they bent forward, snapped up, and struck the classic Sailor Moon pose. "In the name of the moon we shall punish you!" They panted slightly, but all the same grinned madly in their silliness.

"Inui and Kaidoh, truth or dare?" Fuji asked.

"Dare, I suppose." Inui pushed his glasses higher on his nose.

Kaidoh internally groaned. He just knew it was going to be something sexual. He just knew it.

"We dare you to take off Kaidoh's shirt and lick his tan lines."

Light flashed in Inui's glasses. "Gladly." Before Kaidoh could react he was in Inui's lap and his shirt was on the floor beside them. Kaidoh squirmed as Inui's tongue trailed across his shoulder and tried to think about as many disgusting things as possible because really, how embarrassing would it be to get an erection in front of the entire team?

Something large and hard poked him in the ass, and he realized with annoyance that Inui certainly wasn't trying to keep himself... calm. "Inui-sempai," he hissed, "this is humiliating."

"That's the point of Truth or Dare, Kaidoh," Inui murmured in reply. "Just enjoy yourself."

 _I'd rather drink Penal Tea,_ Kaidoh thought, gritting his teeth. When Inui was done, he climbed off the data player's lap and flushed upon seeing the very noticeable bulge in Inui's pants.

"Fuji and Kikumaru, truth or dare."

"Truth," Fuji and Eiji said unexpectedly.

"What's the strangest thing you've ever put in your body?"

Eiji looked thoughtful, but Fuji promptly answered, "Wasabi."

" I didn't mean in your mouth, Fuji."

"I know."

Eiji cringed. "Didn't that _burn?_ "

"Oh, I found it quite pleasurable."

"Kikumaru?" Inui urged.

"I'm thinkin'!" He scratched his head. "Oh! I know! A chopstick!"

Fuji promptly giggled.

"Why did you put a chopstick up your-" Inui was cut off.

"He wasn't talking about his ass, Inui..."

"I see... Note, Kikumaru has experimented with sounding. Interesting."

"Our turn again, nya!"

"Momo, Echizen, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Ryoma answered before Momo got a chance to say dare. He was not becoming their victim like Kaidoh had moments ago.

"If you were straight, who would you date?" Eiji asked.

Fuji followed, "Sakuno-chan, Tomoka-chan, or An-chan."

Taka-san frowned at the last name, but remembered that it was a game, and they were both gay, so it didn't really matter.

"Probably An-chan. She's the most fun of the three." Momo grimaced a little, wondering what Ryoma would say.

"Tomoka."

"WHAT!" Momo shouted.

"No way! You can 't stand her!" Eiji looked at the freshman incredulously.

"But if I dated her I would never have to do anything. She already does anything I ask her to..." Ryoma shrugged. "I would just need ear plugs. Buchou, Oishi-sempai, truth or dare."

"Dare," they responded together.

"Since you don't like wearing each other's clothes, Fuji-sempai and Kikumaru-sempai get to dress you up in something from Fuji-sempai's suitcase." He folded his arms behind his head, feeling extremely smug.

"Oh! I've wanted to get you to wear the cowboy outfit for ages, Mitsu!" Fuji grabbed Tezuka' s arm and bodily dragged him up the stairs. Eiji shoved Oishi along behind.

" Fuji," Tezuka said, "pick the least ostentatious thing in your wardrobe or I'll give you laps."

"You are no fun at all, Mitsu. Besides, I can pick whatever I want, and you can 't penalize me, it's a game."

Tezuka frowned deeply. How had he ended up with a boyfriend who liked to torture him so much?

"Not this one..." Fuji was saying to Eiji as he rifled through his suitcase. "This is a problem. Tezuka and Oishi just can't pull most of these off. They aren't femme at all."

"How about the ones you bought to go with the girly ones?"

"I didn't bring any..." Fuji pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Ah! I know! Oishi can wear... that."

Eiji's eyes widened. " Fuji! Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm sure." Fuji 's smile turned sadistic.

Ten minutes later, Tezuka was glaring at the fishnet stockings Fuji had insisted wear and pulling the skirt down, trying to cover as much as he could. The cowboy hat perched on his head kept slipping off. He was

trying hard not to look in the mirror-once had been enough. Fuji was right-he was not femme at all, and he looked ridiculous.

"Eiji! Eiji, please, no, anything but this, please, it's-"

"Nya, I'm sorry, Oishi, but this is what Fuji wanted!"

Tezuka forced himself to look up and cringed at what Oishi was being forced into: a red bra with black polka dots, matching knee-high socks, an extremely short black skirt, and wings strapped to his back. And-oh

God, was that a garter ? Tezuka shuddered.

" Fuji, where did this come from?"

"I picked it up the other day when we went shopping. I wanted to surprise you with it, but this is more fun, don't you think?" Fuji smiled at Oishi, who looked completely mortified.

Ryoma smirked as the boys came downstairs. "That is for the kitty costume, Buchou." "That was harsh of you to punish Oishi-sempai for it too." Momo ruffled the freshman's hair. This went on for a while with more hilarity ensuing, when Fuji stopped the game. "We should get ready for bed… It's getting late, and, because of what happened earlier today, we ukes are having a slumber party!" Fuji smiled and darted up the stairs. The other three only took a minute to look at each other before following his example and running after the tensai.

Tezuka put his face in his hands. He should have known.

A door slammed upstairs.

Fuji giggled. Of course they weren't really going to sleep. He needed an excuse to get away from the semes so they could leave for the induction, slipping out while in bed with their semes would be rather hard after all.

"I wish I'd known this was going to happen," the tensai murmured, looking through his suitcase. "I could've brought proper induction outfits. As it is, everything I brought with me is _utterly_ boring."

"...I don't know what your definition of boring is, Fuji-sempai-" Kaidoh said.

"Oh, I didn't mean _those_. You can't possibly wear anything I've brought, not even Mr. President can supply that many tissues..." Fuji pursed his lips. "You remember what you wore to your induction, don't you?"

"Unfortunately."

"I need something like that. Something not too over the top. Hm... okay, for Eiji, how about this... and these pants... with this... And for Echizen-hm. Okay, yes, he can pull these off, and we're probably about the same size... and the fishnet, yes, that would look good with... this, yes, okay."

Kaidoh helped Fuji lay the outfits on the bed. "Fabulous," Fuji said happily. "What do you think, Eiji, Echizen?"

"I think that I'm not wearing leather," Ryoma said, frowning.

"But it will show off that lovely backside of yours, Echizen."

"And I'm not wearing fishnet _anything_."

"Don't be so stubborn, Echizen. Kaoru, Eiji, would you be so kind?" Fuji smiled all too innocently.

"Of course, Fuji-sempai." The other two each grabbed one of Ryoma's arms, allowing Fuji to strip and re-dress him.

"Oh! Gorgeous!" Fuji smoothed the collar of Ryoma's button-up shirt and rolled the sleeves up.

Ryoma was released and promptly buttoned the rest of the buttons on the pale blue button up shirt Fuji had stuffed him into.

Fuji swatted his hands away and undid the three buttons Ryoma had done. "Don't!"

"Why doesn't Kikumaru-sempai have to wear anything like this?"

Eiji, who was getting dressed, grinned at him. "None of the stuff Fujiko has like that would fit me. It's practically skin-tight on him, and I'm taller," he reasoned.

Fuji looked at the clock. They had a few minutes to go over what to expect before they had to sneak out the window and down the long driveway to the waiting car. He checked himself in the mirror one more time-at meetings such as this it was very important to look one's best-and opened the window.

"We're going to climb out," he explained.

"But we're on the second floor," Ryoma protested.

"I know that, Echizen, thank you. There's a lattice, so Eiji, you be careful in those boots. We play tennis and we're ukes, we're nimble, so don't give me that look, Echizen, you'll be fine. Kaidoh, you go first."  
Kaidoh obliged, hoisting himself onto the window sill and crawling out, then dropping out of site. Eiji was next, and when it came to Ryoma's turn Fuji was worried he'd have to throw the freshman out the window .

"Shouldn't we at least tell Tezuka-buchou we're leaving?" Ryoma tried to protest.

Fuji locked the door and shoved a chair under the knob. "Satisfied."

"He'll think you were kidnapped or something... You should leave a note..." Ryoma tried to come up with something, anything to stall longer.

Fuji took a piece of paper from the house diary from the end table and scribbled something. "'Dear Tezuka, Oishi, Inui, Momo, and Taka-san,'" he paused to look up at Ryoma, "'we decided to take a little trip down to see the night life on the shopping strip. Don't come looking for us. I doubt you'd be able to find us anyway. Don't worry! I will take good care of them! Love Your Resident Tensai and Team Mommy, Fuji.' Now get your pretty little leather-clad ass out that window, Echizen Ryoma." He flung the piece of paper onto his pillow and slipped his cell phone into his back pocket.

Ryoma trudged over to the window. It was very dark, and he couldn't see the ground. His stomach started churning. "Fuji-sempai... I don't like heights..." He gulped.

"For Christ's sake, Echizen, you smash tennis balls from twenty fucking feet in the air, and you're afraid of heights!" Fuji ran his hand through his hair, completely frustrated. "Okay, okay. We can work around this. Climb onto the lattice right outside the window and don't move."

Ryoma looked at his sempai before he did as asked.

"I'm going to climb behind you," Fuji explained gently.

Slowly Fuji moved his foot down, guiding Ryoma's into the hole in the lattice just above his. Then he repeated this with his hands. It took them ten minutes to get down the lattice. Fuji jumped down when he was still a few feet from the ground. Then, with the help of Kaidoh he eased Ryoma down the rest of the way.

"Ochibi's scared of heights?" Eiji asked. At Ryoma's blush he smiled. "That's so cute. Tezuka's scared of bugs, Kaidoh's scared of paranormal stuff, and you're scared of heights." He patted the dark hair.

"Lets go, inductees." Fuji waved them towards the path-turned-driveway down the mountain. "It's hard to walk in these stupid pants," Ryoma grumbled.

"Don't call them stupid, they were very expensive, and well-worth the price. Kunimitsu can't get enough of them. "

"Oh, really? I guess you wouldn't want them to get dirty or... rip?"

Fuji turned to Ryoma with a deadly glare. "I swear to God, Echizen, if anything happens to those pants, I will make you regret it, _and_ I will make you pay for a new pair."

"Yes, Sempai."

When they got to the foot of the mountain, the car was already there waiting for them. Fuji got in front, and the others climbed in back. Yukimura turned to look at them, eyes narrowed. "You're late."

"Sorry, Sei-chan," Fuji said cheerfully. "Echizen had a bit of a mishap."

"Having a good vacation?"

"Oh, you know. The usual. Well, there was the foursome."

"Oooh! With whom?"

"Tezuka, obviously, and our Golden Pair, who, for their lack of experience, are quite fun playmates. And you, Sei-chan? "

"Nothing new. We've spent the majority of our vacation at Gen-chan's, and I swear this is the first time Akaya, Yagyuu, Marui, and I have had clothes on in weeks."

"Sounds fun. I wish I could get the others to participate in an orgy..."

"Orgy?" Ryoma said incredulously.

"I've told you a million times that Rikkai is much more adventurous than we are, Echizen," Fuji said.

"I'm happy with unadventurous, Fuji-sempai." Ryoma pulled at the leather. It was starting to stick to him.

"Quit it! You are going to ruin them!" Fuji turned around to scold Ryoma. "They are supposed to cling."

"But it's uncomfortable!" The freshman complained.

"Too damn bad! You will wear them. You will like it. And so help me God, Echizen, if you damage them in any manner..." Fuji let the threat hang in the air.

"Really, Echizen-kun, do you have any idea how long it takes to find a good pair of leather pants? Not to mention breaking them in..." Yukimura glanced at him in the rear-view mirror. "You should feel honored Syu-chan is letting you wear them." Yukimura nodded sagely.

Ryoma rolled his eyes. Where did the tennis circuit find people like this?

A/N: Who knows, Ryoma. Who knows.

By the way, if there are any words randomly missing or anything, it's because FFNet was being an asshat.


	15. Cockblocked Or, Inui's Blue Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook-Cockblocked.

The Notebook-Cockblocked.

A/N: If you thought we were on drugs before, just wait until you read this chapter. And, by the way, mysterious person who keeps slipping hallucinogens into our drinks without us knowing, thank you.

Warnings: I don't even know where to begin, so just trust that this chapter is weird as hell and ambiguously sexual ALL THE TIME. Also, if you like this chapter, go read Chinko no Tsubuyaki on Mangafox (or wherever you can find it).

Disclaimer: I… don't think Konomi-sensei would ever envision Tezuka having… er… you'll see…

The drive to wherever they were going took almost forty minutes, and with Fuji-sempai, Yukimura, Eiji-sempai, and even Kaidoh-sempai gossiping the entire way, Ryoma thought it was a very very very long forty minutes.

Yukimura parked the car at what looked like some sort of country club and got out, pausing to open the door on Kikumaru's side. He had been forced into the middle, lest he try to jump out of the car on the highway.

"Syusuke," Yukimura drew out the name ever so slightly, using an almost Atobe-like tone, "your taste in clothing is simply divine!"

"Why, thank you, Seiichi." Fuji gave a small bow.

Eiji wore black jeans that hugged in all the right places, though they were probably baggy on Fuji, and a solid blue t-shirt with elbow-length sleeves that brought out his eyes. While Fuji had selected the much-despised leather pants for Ryoma, along with a pastel blue shirt with only the middle two buttons done. Fishnets peeked from under the shirt.

"Where have you guys been? Mr. President is getting impatient!" Gakuto came out of the building, Ohtori by his side. "Get going!" He practically shoved them through the door the silver-haired second year was holding open.

Three hours later, the four of them poured out of the building with the rest of the Kantou region tennis circuit's ukes. Eiji and Ryoma were huddled together, whimpering, and Fuji sighed. "Oh, it wasn't that bad," he said, ushering them along toward the car, where Yukimura was already in the driver's seat, waiting for them. "Kaidoh and I have done it as well."

"Well, to be fair, Fuji-sempai, they did seem a bit more rowdy than usual tonight," Kaidoh said, helping Eiji into the backseat.

"You have no idea about rowdy, Kaidoh," Fuji replied. "When I joined it was just me, Gakuto, Mr. President, and Sei-chan here, and let me tell you, it was the greatest and most horrible experience of my life."

"I remember that night," Yukimura said, grinning. "The chocolate syrup-"

"And the baby carrots-"

"And the spoons!"

"Of course, I was the first inductee of the organization, so Mr. President handled my initiation entirely on his own." Yukimura sighed dreamily. "It was magical."

"I can't believe that guy's president," Ryoma said. Apparently he'd recovered enough to form whole sentences, though Eiji still looked a little stunned.

"Don't speak ill of Mr. President!" Fuji hissed. "He has eyes _everywhere_."

Back at the cabin Tezuka wasn't sleeping very well. He was having very… odd dreams.

His crotch was moving. He stared down at it. It wasn't a foreign object in his pants moving. It was his crotch. He sat down on his bed in his pajama pants and t-shirt and just stared.

Then he started hearing his name being yelled in a small muffled voice. It was coming from his crotch. He stood up and went over to the door, locking it hastily. He took a look at his closed blinds, just to double check, before he turned away from both door and window and pulled out the front of his pants.

"Ah! Fresh air! Hello, Tezuka!"

Tezuka looked at his… manly bits. Why was there a little chibi face on his penis? And why was it talking? And how did it know his name?

"Well, I'm not sure to the first two, but I'm your boyfriend, of course I know your name!" the penis said.

"You… are not real," Tezuka said firmly, letting the elastic of his pants snap back around his waist. He drew the waistband out again to check.

"Tezuka Kunimitsu! Don't you dare!"

The elastic snapped back. Tezuka rubbed his eyes and cleaned his glasses before checking a third time.

"So help me God, Tezuka, if you do that again I will give you a boner next time you see your mother!"

Tezuka blinked. "Fuji?"

"Who else do you expect to be so intimately familiar with your naughty bits that he knows where he is when he wakes up in them! Plus, I gave you these boxers. Silk with cactus-print. Ah! I had to order them from America , but the cost was worth it!"

"What is going on?"

"I'm not exactly sure. My spirit seems to have possessed your... well, it's obvious what it's possessed-I don't know what happened. Maybe something happened to my body...?"

Tezuka's eyes widened. What if Fuji was hurt? What if he was dead on the side of a road somewhere? "Fuji, stay quiet. I'm going to go tell Oishi you're missing."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Tezuka ignored Fuji and pulled his pajama pants up around his struggling penis. He jogged to the room shared by the Golden Pair and Inui and Kaidoh and knocked.

"Tezuka?" Oishi asked as he opened the door. Eiji was peering over his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Something's-well, I don't know where Fuji is. I've checked the house," he lied quickly, "and he's not here, so-"

"TEZUKA!" Fuji's voice shouted, muffled. " Let-me-out!"

"Nya, that sounded like Fuji!" Eiji said, looking both ways down the hall. "Fujikoooo! Where are you?"

"In here, Eiji!" Fuji called.

Tezuka sighed. "Will you two promise to keep this quiet?"

They nodded, and Tezuka pulled his pants down, fighting a blush. It wasn't as if they hadn't seen it before, he reasoned.

"Fujiko?" Eiji knelt in front of Tezuka.

"Well at least someone recognizes me!" The Fuji-penis glared at Tezuka.

"You're so CUTE!" Eiji lightly rubbed the area that would be Fuji's cheek with his pointer finger.

Tezuka and Fuji both moaned.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Buchou!" Eiji scuttled back.

Fuji stood erect. "Oh..." He panted a bit. "Tezuka, you don't jack off often enough."

"No, you're just horny!"

"Eiji, Oishi, please, help?" Fuji pleaded.

They looked at each other as Tezuka tried to pull up his pants and leave. Then hands were on him and he was on their bed. Eiji's hand wound around his cock and Oishi keeping him still.

"It makes sense, nya, Buchou."

"Maybe it will be more than just semen..." Oishi silenced Tezuka's words before he could speak with lips covering his mouth.

"Eiji!" Fuji panted .

"You're almost there, Fujiko." Eiji kissed his "cheek."

There were muffled shouts and then silence. Then from the corner of the room. "Tezuka? Eiji? Oishi? Get me out of here!"

They looked over at the toy chest in t he corner, where Fuji's panicked voice came from.

The box swiveled so they could see the sides with the B and C. The C cracked into a wide crazed grin, while the B turned flat side up and became eyes. The hole that had been drilled flitted around in one "eye" while the other "pupil" remained fixed on the trio on the bed.

"They can't help you now!" it whispered. "I've eaten you!" It let out a crazed giggle and then...

"Tezuka! Tezuka, wake up!" Oishi shook his shoulder.

Tezuka bolted into a sitting position, wiping sweat from his forehead. "What-where am I?"

"My room. What's-"

The captain sprang out of bed and pulled open the top of the box. It was empty. He let out a sigh of relief.

"Tezuka, what's the matter?"

Tezuka shook his head. "I had... a dream. A very, very strange dream. But-Fuji's fine."

"Of course he is. He, Eiji, Kaidoh, and Echizen are all in your bedroom, so you decided to sleep here, remember?"

"Yes." Tezuka sat back down. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's fine. What was the dream about? Fuji was hurt?"

"Not exactly." He glanced at the toy box. "Can we move that thing?"

"Um, sure." Oishi got out of bed, and together they moved the box into the hallway. "It is sort of creepy, isn't it? Eiji hates it, he says it takes him ages to fall asleep because he's worried it'll start giggling..."

Tezuka shuddered. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

They cuddled up together in the small bed, and right when they'd almost fallen asleep-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Oishi shot out of bed and opened the door to see Eiji and Kaidoh cowering behind Fuji and Echizen. "Eiji! What's wrong?"

"That thing! It's following me!" he shouted, pointing a shaking finger at the box.

"No, Eiji, Tezuka had a weird dream about it so we moved it out here. Why aren't you guys in bed?"

"We...we needed to go to the bathroom, and it's dark and creepy out here so we came together!" Fuji laughed.

Tezuka stepped towards Fuji. "Promise me that you will never buy me cactus print boxers."

Fuji quirked an eyebrow. "Have you been rifling through my underwear drawer again, Kunimitsu?"

Tezuka facepalmed. " No! No, I just...Promise me?"

"I won't give you cactus print boxers?" Fuji smiled uncertainly.

"Thank you."

"Now go back to bed, and if you start any kinky business with Oishi, we won't mind. 'Kay?" He smirked and shoved them back into the bedroom.

"What was that about?" Inui had sat up and put his glasses on.

"Nothing," the captains answered in stereo.

"That was a close call!" Eiji said as they crept around the kitchen.

"Very," Kaidoh answered.

"What was wrong with Tezuka-buchou?" Ryoma asked, clambering onto the counter to reach the case of Ponta on top of the fridge.

"He had a nightmare," Fuji answered, pulling sundae toppings from the fridge.

"How do you know?" Eiji asked.

"Whenever he has a nightmare he makes me promise not to do something. So far there's been never make fashion dolls of us, never stick carrots inside me, never eat tripe, and now never buy me cactus print boxers..."

The others stared at him blankly. "Nya, Tezuka-buchou has really weird dreams," Eiji said.

"You have no idea. The carrots? That came from a dream he had in which Yukimura kidnapped him and tied him up in a basement and tortured him with vegetables and medieval sex toys."

Tezuka and Oishi did not get up to any kinky business, despite Fuji's assurances that he and Eiji wouldn't mind. Tezuka was really too concerned with checking to make sure his penis wasn't sentient every few minutes to even think about sex, and anyway, he figured he'd had enough sexual experimentation and was quite happy to be completely monogamous for the rest of his life.

He walked to his bedroom in the morning to get fresh clothes and was met with the sight of the four ukes curled up together on the bed. He shook his head, smiling, and knelt by his suitcase.

"Mm... Mitsu?" Fuji blinked sleepily at him. The tensai detached himself from Eiji and Echizen and sat on his knees next to Tezuka, leaning against his boyfriend's side.

"Morning," Tezuka greeted, turning his head sideways to kiss Fuji's cheek. "Sleep well?"

"Okay. I missed you."

"I missed you too. Get your clothes," Tezuka whispered.

Fuji nodded and went over to his suitcase quietly.

"You guys are loud..." Ryoma grumbled, sitting up. "Can I go sleep in my room now, Fuji-sempai?"

"I'm not stopping you, Echizen."

Ryoma got out of the bed slowly and trudged down the hall to the room he shared with Taka and Momo.

"He's so cute when he's sleepy, ne, Tezuka?"

Tezuka smiled ever so slightly and guided the tensai to the bathroom.

"We have to stop meeting like this." Eiji smiled at Kaidoh, who blushed.

"K-Kikumaru-sempai," Kaidoh stuttered. "I-I'm gonna go back to the room."

"Aw, and leave me all alone?"

"Come with me," Kaidoh said without thinking, then mentally facepalmed. "I mean. So you can sleep with Oishi-sempai."

Eiji giggled. "I know, Kaoru-chan. Come on." The acrobat hopped off the bed, pulling Kaidoh with him down the hall to their bedroom.

Fuji braced himself against the tiled wall of the shower as Tezuka slowly pushed inside him, his hands on the tensai's slim hips for better leverage.

"Mm, Mitsu," Fuji groaned, "harder..."

"Buchou! Fuji-sempai! Make it quick, will you?"

"There are other bathrooms in this house, Momo!" Fuji growled.

"But my toothbrush is in there!"

"Oh, for the love of-fine, come in and get it then!"

"But you're doing it!" Momo protested. There was a pause, and then they heard the door creak open. "This is so gross, this is so gross, this is so-"

"You're lucky I don't pull the shower curtain back!"

"Syusuke!"

"Won't Fuji be angry when he finds out you left?" Inui mumbled into Kaidoh's hair.

"He let Echizen leave." Kaidoh snuggled against Inui's chest.

"I see. You're going back to sleep aren't you?"

"I hoped to."

"May I have a good morning kiss first then?"

"I haven't brushed my teeth. My mouth will taste gross," Kaidoh said sleepily.

"I don't care and you know it." Inui tilted the younger boy's head up for a kiss.

When they parted Kaidoh quickly resumed his place tucked snuggly against his sempai. However he did lean forward and kiss Inui's neck.

"That's unfair, Kaoru." Inui pouted. Kaidoh could feel something familiar poking his thigh.

"Hey! Don't do grown up things while we're in the room!" Eiji threw a pillow at them, apparently having overheard part of the hushed conversation. Eiji laid back down and fit himself against Oishi's shoulder and slept.

Ryoma glared at Momo from under the duvet.

"Oh, hey! When did you get here?"

"When you weren't here."

"Yeah, I went to get my toothbrush. I had to go all the way downstairs to brush my damn teeth. I would've been fine if Fuji-sempai and Buchou knew how to keep their hands off each other, but I definitely wasn't going to just stand there while they were screwing, so-what do you look so mad for?"

Ryoma said nothing, just rolled over.

"...Are you mad be cause I wasn't here when you came in?" Momo grinned and pounced on top of the freshman, nuzzling his cheek. "You're so cute!"

"Idiot."

Momo just laughed and snuggled under the blankets, wrapping his arms around Ryoma's waist.

"Get off me."

"Only if you say those three special words..."

"Go fuck yourself?"

"The other ones."

"Fine. I love you. Now let me go."

"No."

"You said..." Ryoma stopped. Fuji's words from yesterday about trying to be nicer to Momo sounding in his head. He relaxed a bit, though Momo would probably just take it as annoyed acceptance.

"Syusuke, do I really have the personality of burnt toast?" Tezuka looked very unsure.

Fuji shrugged, not pausing in rubbing his hair with the towel. "It depends on who you're around and how well they know you."

Tezuka muttered something as he pulled up his jeans.

"Hm?"

"You have enough personality for both of us anyway."

Fuji stuck his tongue out at the taller brunette after he pulled his shirt over his head.

They tossed their towels in the hamper and went downstairs.

"Ryoma?"

"Hm?" Ryoma was still tired.

"Taka-san went to get a shower," Momo said almost cautiously.

"Mhm..." Ryoma cuddled closer into their spooning position.

"So..."

"So what, Momo-sempai?"

"So don't you get morning wood?"

Ryoma sat up and looked at his sempai as if it was a completely foreign idea. "No..."

Momo sighed frustratedly. "Okay. Go back to sleep."

"Well..." The freshman leaned down hesitantly and kissed his boyfriend softly. "I've never gotten it _before_... Maybe you could... help it along?"

Momo grinned. "I'd be happy to."

Eiji walked past Momo and Ryoma's room on the way to the bathroom. He paused outside the door, listening curiously. "Nya," he said to himself, pouting, "of all people to be having sex in the morning. I wish Oishi and I had our own room."

"You could use the bathroom..." Fuji smirked as he walked past him.

"Hey, Fujiko."

"Ryuzaki-sensei and Tezuka are trying to figure out what we're doing today, so you have plenty of time to fool around in the shower." He tapped the redhead's nose and skipped into his room.

"What was that about?" Oishi came up behind his partner.

Eiji grabbed the brunette's hand and pulled him into the bathroom exuberantly.

 _And once again,_ Inui thought bitterly as he came downstairs, having passed both Momo and Echizen's room and the bathroom, _everyone is having sex but me._

Well, Tezuka and Fuji weren't, at the moment, but there was an eighty-three percent chance they already had at some point this morning. Even with Ryomoka gone, he and Kaidoh still weren't having much sex, and it was torturous.

"Inui," Tezuka said, "do you have any ideas for what we can do today?"

 _You can all leave so Kaoru has no excuse to refuse sex,_ Inui thought. "Perhaps we could find a tennis court."

"We already called around, all the tennis courts here require memberships to the private clubs that own them." Tezuka leaned back in his chair. He also wanted to play tennis. It was stressful.

"Inui-sempai?" Kaidoh called down the stairs, wondering where his boyfriend had wandered off to.

"He's probably downstairs with Kunimitsu, Kaidoh." They heard Fuji's voice from the top of the stairwell.

There was a pause and a soft "Of course, Fuji-sempai." before two sets of footsteps started down the stairs. They could only assume Fuji had whispered something to Kaidoh.

"I thought we might get some ideas from the house diary." Fuji held up the innocuous book.

A spark ran down Tezuka's spine at the book. He stood up and plucked the book from Fuji's hand. He went over to the kitchen desk and opened the top drawer. The book was dropped in and the door shut rather loudly. Ryuzaki, Taka, Inui, and Kaidoh could do nothing but stare. Fuji smirked. Giggling boxes. He knew what he was doing today.

"I'll go see about... ahem, getting up Momo and Ryoma, and find out if Oishi and Eiji have any ideas." Fuji smiled as he turned to go upstairs.

Tezuka resisted the urge to bang his head against a convenient wall. Fuji was going to go upstairs and slip into the bathroom and probably grope the Golden Pair. If not then he'd scare them, leaving Eiji to pout at him all day.

"How about a scavenger hunt?" Ryuzaki-sensei suggested with a shrug. "It'd be a fun thing to do on the last day. We could make up lists of things to do or find and go into the city..."

"That sounds like fun," Taka agreed. "And we could be on teams of-Ryuzaki-sensei, would you want to play?"

"Not at all. I'll be glad to have the cabin to myself. It feels like years since I haven't had to hear someone screwing right above my bedroom..."

"Teams of three, then," Taka decided. "What do you think, Tezuka?"

"I think it's a good idea, as long as you don't let Fuji, Kikumaru, or Inui have any influence over the lists."

"What a mean thing to say, Mitsu," Fuji said as he came down the stairs.

"What a smart thing to say, you mean," Ryuzaki-sensei said. "We both know the sorts of things that would be on the list if you had control of it."

"Why don't we each get to pick something on the list?" Oishi tried to placate both halves of the couple. "That's fair, don't you think?"

"Well then, my item will be a bird's nest," Fuji said, grabbing a few sheets of stationary off the kitchen desk. He wrote down each of their names. "Bird's Nest" was written next to his.

He handed the paper and pen to Tezuka.

Momo and Ryoma came down at that point. "What're we doing today, Buchou?"

"Scavenger hunt."

"We're each picking an item that we will have to find in the strip mall." Oishi handed him the paper after he was done writing on it.

"We should pick random teams, just to be fair." Taka began writing all their names on another piece of paper, and tearing it into strips. "Ryuzaki-sensei, would you pick the teams?"

Ryuzaki-sensei plucked Ryoma's cap from his head and put the little slips of paper in it, then shook the hat to mix them up. "On team one we have Tezuka... Fuji... and Kawamura."

 _Oh, dear,_ Fuji thought, _I hope Tezuka's not still sensitive about Taka-san's little crush on me..._

"Team two is Ryoma, Eiji, and Inui."

Ryoma groaned. They were going to torture him all day.

"Which leaves Oishi, Momo, and Kaidoh on team three."

Momo and Kaidoh glared daggers at each other while Oishi tried to calm them down.

Ryuzaki-sensei sighed. She was glad she wasn't going.

Oishi looked over the list. Tezuka wanted them to find bonsai tree, Fuji a bird's nest, Eiji strawberry candy, Taka-san a marble, Inui a condom, Kaidoh a bandana, Momo a sweatband, Ryoma Ponta, and he thought they should find a bell.

"This place might have bandanas and sweat bands." He led the other two into a typical souvenir shop.

"What are you looking for, Fujiko?" Taka asked as he and Tezuka followed the tensai. Fuji had been walking around this area, looking up. He stopped and opened his hands in front of him. The wind picked up, blowing Tezuka's hair into his face, and a small, neatly formed bird's nest fell into Fuji's open hands.

"I didn't want the eggs to get hurt." Fuji cradled the little nest close to his chest. He walked back over to Taka and Tezuka, showing them the little blue eggs.

Taka looked rather frightened. "F-Fujiko?"

"Don't ask," Tezuka muttered as Fuji skipped away. Similar incidents had occurred in the past, and Tezuka no longer questioned Fuji's innate power to control the wind.

Without letting his teammates know where he was going, Ryoma walked straight toward the supermarket, where he knew he would find Ponta.

"Nya, Ochibi," Eiji whined, catching up with him as they entered the store, "don't just wander off like that!"

"I'm getting Ponta," the freshman replied. "...Should we get a case?"

"Don't we only need one can?"

"I'll drink them."

"True..."

"The supermarket is a good choice to start actually. We can get Echizen's Ponta, your candy, and possibly Oishi's bell if they have pet supplies and Tezuka's bonsai tree if they have a gardening center." Inui picked up a shopping basket and followed Ryoma.

"Oh!" Eiji smiled and hopped after Inui.

"Hey! I found a bell!" Momo picked up a small gold bell with a handle on it from a shelf of knick-knacks.

"That's three down. The candy shop is right across the street for the candy and I think there was a drink machine around here somewhere where we can get a can of Ponta." He recognized the area from the other day.

"I remember seeing a store with lots of plants in it near the pet shop when we had to find Eiji-sempai the other day. We should go that way next."

"A bonsai tree, and a bell." Fuji pointed the items out to Taka, hands still cupping the nest.

Tezuka was glad they found the items, there was incense burning all over this store and it was starting to make him light-headed.

"And now..." Taka looked thoughtful. "We could go to the supermarket. There's a lot of stuff we could find there."

"Good idea, Taka-san," Fuji praised, smiling. Tezuka resisted the urge to huff.

Once in the store, they headed straight to the sweets section, where they saw Eiji, Inui, and Ryoma coming down the other end. Fuji paused, as did Eiji. The tensai turned to Tezuka and handed him the nest. "Don't let anything happen to it," he warned.

He and Eiji walked toward each other, meeting halfway. On the shelf to their left was a single box of strawberry candies.

They stared at each other for at least a minute, and then Eiji went for the box. Fuji's hand shot up, but Eiji had it. The redhead smirked. Fuji's gaze narrowed, and he tackled Eiji to the ground.

"F-Fuji!" Taka protested. "You're going to get us kicked out-"

Fuji sprang up from the ground, the candy in his hand, and sprinted triumphantly past Tezuka and Taka.

"Fujiko! You big jerk!" Eiji yelled, following after the tensai.

Tezuka sighed. "Let's keep looking around, I suppose."

Taka waved at Inui and Ryoma as they left the aisle. So far the had the bell and tree, the nest, Ponta from a machine outside the store, and maybe the candy.

"They might have bandanas in the pet section," Taka suggested. He winced as he heard something crash a few aisles down.

They turned down that aisle to see a pouting Fuji buried under boxes of cereal.

"Fujiko!" Taka helped Fuji up from the floor and straightened his hair and shirt. "You and Eiji shouldn't do things like that. You're going to get in trouble or get hurt!"

Tezuka watched helplessly while Taka-san interacted with the little brunette. He couldn't do anything while he was holding Fuji's nest.

"They'll probably have those candies up at the check out too anyways." Taka steered Fuji toward Tezuka with a hand on his back.

"They'll have condoms there too," Fuji quipped. He stopped in front of Tezuka with an apologetic smile and re-situated the bird's nest in his hands.

"I wonder who'll get to keep the condoms," Fuji said thoughtfully. "There are three boxes and four couples. Five, if you count you and An-chan, Taka-san."

"You two, Inui and Kaidoh, and the Golden Pair, probably," Taka-san said, tossing a box of condoms on the conveyor belt, along with the strawberry candy they had indeed found at the front of the store. "You have the most sex. An-chan and I aren't... you know."

"Yet," Fuji added, smiling at Taka's blush. "You're too cute, Taka-san."

Tezuka's fists clenched. Now Fuji was doing it on purpose just to make him mad.

Fuji looked back at him. "Taka-san, can you hold the nest while I go to the bathroom? Mitsu, why don't you come with me?"

"Why?"

"Just because. Come on."

Tezuka let Fuji drag him past the check out lines and into the bathroom at the front of the store. "Mitsu, I never thought I'd see you so jealous."

"You saw me jealous two days ago," Tezuka said evasively.

"You know what I mean. I'm not interested in Taka-san, you know that."

"He's interested in you, and you were flirting with him."

"It's a totally innocent crush, and you know perfectly well I flirt with everyone."

"And we've talked about that, haven't we?"

"Mitsu, he's straight. If anything, it's insulting that he has a crush on me."

"You're just making it worse by flirting with him then."

Fuji reached up on his tip-toes and kissed Tezuka. "All right. I'll be a good boy."

They exited the bathroom looking slightly more at ease than when they'd left. Taka-san was waiting for them at the store's entrance.

"Look what I found while I was chasing Fujiko!" Eiji said, holding up a cereal box.

"Cereal?" Ryoma raised an eyebrow.

"No, silly! The prize in the cereal is a collector's edition Hello Kitty marble!" Eiji placed the box of cereal and the strawberry candies in Inui's basket.

"We got the bell, but they don't have bonsai trees here," Inui said.

"They had them at the pet shop I was at." It earned him funny looks. "They look nice in terrariums!" He crossed his arms. "WHAT!"

"Nothing. Which way is it?" Inui asked as they approached the checkout.

Momo studied the list, frowning. "Damn, where are we supposed to find all this stuff?"

"There are a hundred stores here, idiot," Kaidoh said, snatching the list.

"Give it back!"

"No!"

"Bastard-"

Oishi twitched. "Will you two just go have sex and get it out of your systems?"

They blinked. "What?"

"There's more sexual tension between you two than between Atobe and Shishido," Oishi said. "And if you do it once you'll probably stop fighting so much."

They twitched and looked at each other, then said, "EWWWW!" in unison like a pair of small children.

"Besides, we have the bandana, sweatband, bell, candy, and Ponta. They probably have marbles here." Oishi led them into a toy shop, where they found marbles easily enough.

"Ya' know what I just thought, Oishi-sempai?" Momo asked as they left the little shop to go find the pet shop for a bonsai tree and possibly a nest.

"What?"

"Most bathrooms have condom dispensers in them."

Oishi blushed. "We'll um... check the next one we pass."

"Is he going to fall?" Ryoma asked, looking up.

"There's only a two point five percent chance, but we probably shouldn't tell Oishi still," Inui replied.

Eiji had shimmied up a lamp post to get the bird's next he saw on top of it.

"Hoi! Hoi! I got it!" He twirled down the pole and presented Inui with the nest, smiling widely.

Ryoma snorted. Eiji looked like a professional stripper coming off of that pole, and he didn't think twice about it.

Momo shoved the condom in his pocket and left the bathroom. Oishi and Kaidoh were waiting for him outside, and when he joined them they continued down the street. "Now all that's left is the bird's nest," Oishi said, checking the condom off the list.

"Can't believe you think we should do it," Momo grumbled. "I'm not attracted to the Mamushi at all."

"I'm not attracted to you either, stupid monkey!"

"You're both lying," Oishi said. "I bet if you asked Inui and Echizen, they wouldn't mind. Inui'd want the data, and Echizen gets sick of you fighting so often."

"Inui-sempai won't agree 'cause the Mamushi's a prude!"

"Just because I don't want to have sex with anything that walks..."

"HEY!" Oishi stepped between the two. "We only have one more thing to find, and then we win. You don't want to lose, right?"

"Definitely not!" they answered together.

"Then let's go find a bird's nest!"

"Here's a bell and a bonsai!" Eiji carried their purchases to Inui, who stood at the entrance.

"Now we just need a bandana and a sweatband."

"This way..."

"In here!" Eiji pulled them into a shop, where they made their last two purchases and raced back to their meeting point.

"We won!" Eiji bounced up and down, looking to make sure neither of the other teams were there.

Tezuka, Fuji, and Taka arrived next, closely followed by Oishi, Momo, and Kaidoh's team.

"Ah, well, it was fun," Taka-san said sheepishly. "Congratulations!"

"Nya, thanks, Taka-san!" Eiji said, bouncing toward the car. "And now you guys have to do whatever Inui, Ochibi, and me tell you to do!"

Everyone groaned. It was going to be a long day.

On the way home, Oishi somehow managed to convince Momo and Kaidoh to ride in the same car, so he and Ryoma rode with them in Inui's car. He figured it was the best place to breach the subject with Inui and Echizen since he knew Momo and Kaidoh wouldn't do it themselves.

"So," he said, "Momo and Kaidoh want to have sex."

A/N: Oh yes. It's exactly what you're thinking.

Scarlet: This is all her doing. ALL HER. I HATE THIS PAIRING SO EFFING MUCH IT'S NOT FUNNY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

Katie: Oh, get over it. Besides, you wrote MomoKai into the InuiFuji Mpreg Drabble completely of your own volition.

Also, I want to say that the teams were pulled completely at random and just happened to be awesomely hilarious.

Scarlet: THAT WAS NOT IN AN INUKAI-VERSE. PRE-ESTABLISHED. FOURSOME WAS COMBINATION OF COUPLES, NOT PAIRING-RAPE!

Katie: Seriously. It's not that big of a deal.

Scarlet: Fuck. You. I am SO not cuddling you tonight.

Katie: Oh, how ever will I survive. /sarcasm

Scarlet: With cold feet and no blankets.

Katie: Fuck you. I'll sleep on the couch. …Not really, it's my bed. But I'll BRING blankets.

Scarlet: Kurogane.

Katie: Not playing this game. …I lost the game.

Scarlet: Fuck. You. Fuck you. FUCK YOU….bitch…

Katie: :D I love you.


	16. Poor Ryuzakisensei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook: Poor Ryuzaki-sensei

The Notebook: Poor Ryuzaki-sensei

A/N: So… we haven't updated in a while. Sorry about that. When you're doing monthly updates, you forget you're supposed to update. But we have a schedule now. There are three chapters left after this, so there'll be another chapter on the twentieth of this month, and the last two will be on the tenth and twentieth of March, respectively.

Disclaimer: Konomi-sensei's.

Warnings: Uh… the usual, I guess. There's no major lemon in this chapter. Some lime, I guess. And MomoKai, but it is completely not described because we both have legitimate hate for that pairing.

Inui slammed on the brakes. He looked back at Oishi, glasses glinting. "There is only a sixteen percent chance you're joking. What are you talking about?"

Kaidoh's face was in his hands. Momo seemed to be inspecting something interesting on his jeans.

"Well, haven't you noticed it? The way they fight-it's obvious they're attracted to each other and it's manifesting itself in aggression. I'm sure if they just do it they won't have this problem anymore."

Inui blinked. "Kaoru? Do you really feel that way?"

"I don't even know anymore," Kaidoh mumbled from behind his hands. "I don't _want_ to."

"Momo-sempai, I don't care if you do it with Kaidoh-sempai," Ryoma said flatly. "As long as you don't do it more than once."

"I will agree if allowed to watch," Inui said, turning his attention back to driving.

"You're not supposed to agree!" Kaidoh thought his voice sounded rather whiney.

"But the data I could collect!"

"Oishi's plotting something," Eiji said, looking at the birds nest Fuji held in his lap.

"Oishi plots?" Taka asked from the passenger seat.

"Yep, that's why he insisted he ride in that car." Eiji looked over his shoulder briefly at the car following them closely. They appeared to be talking.

"This should be interesting," Fuji said, running a finger over the smooth warm shell of one of the two blue eggs.

"Let's hope he doesn't break up with you again, Kikumaru…" Tezuka quipped, only half-joking, while he pulled into the driveway and got out to unlock the gate.

"You don't think..." Eiji looked worriedly at Fuji.

"If he does, Mitsu and I will make him regret it." Fuji laced his fingers with Eiji's in the redhead's lap.

"Technically," Ryoma said casually, "you two have to do whatever we want for the rest of the day anyway."

"Ryoma. You wouldn't actually make me... do it with the Mamushi, would you?"

Ryoma shrugged. "I think Oishi-senpai's right. And the fighting gets really annoying."

"And the data," Inui said again. "Both during the sex and after, it'd be excellent insight-"

"If we're gonna do it I don't want anyone watching!" Momo protested.

"If someone's not watching, you won't do it," Oishi said.

"Then I want Ryoma in the room too."

"No! Why would I want to watch you and Kaidoh-sempai have sex?"

"For moral support!"

Eiji got out of the car feeling very insecure. He decided to be blunt about it and just ask Oishi. He walked up the car the others were getting out of and stood in front of the vice captain, arms crossed and frowning ever so slightly.

"Oishi, are you breaking up with me?"

"What?"

"You're plotting! And last time you plotted you broke up with me!"

"What on Earth? No, Eiji, I'm not breaking up with you." Oishi shook his head with an almost paternal smile.

"Really?" The difference in Eiji's expression and body language was night and day. He glomped Oishi and kissed his cheek, refusing to let go.

"Really, I needed to talk to Inui and Echizen about letting Momo and Kaidoh have sex because they were too scared to do it themselves."

"Oh." Eiji blinked. "Okay then."

Inui, Kaidoh, Momo, and Echizen were in the latter pair's bedroom, Momo and Kaidoh on the bed and Inui and Ryoma on the couch.

"Well?" Inui said impatiently, opening his notebook. "Are you going to do it?"

Momo and Kaidoh looked at each other, then looked away quickly.

"Momo-sempai," Ryoma said, sipping Ponta, "I'm not waiting here all day. Just get on with it."

"Well..." Momo scratched his head awkwardly. "No kissing."

"Duh," Kaidoh muttered, flushing.

An hour later, the four of them left the room, Momo and Kaidoh scurrying in opposite directions and Ryoma and Inui walking casually toward the staircase.

"That was certainly an interesting experience," Inui said, still scribbling in his notebook.

Ryoma shrugged. "I guess. I've never watched anyone do it before. Especially not that angrily."

"Kaidoh almost had Momoshiro, but he ended up on the bottom," Inui murmured. "This perhaps gives me more insight into Kaoru's role as an uke and just how deeply ingrained it is in him to submit sexually..."

"And since Kaidoh-sempai and Momo-sempai don't ever want to be in a room together again, they won't be fighting," Ryoma said brightly.

"So, did it go okay?" Oishi asked, looking over the cards he had in his hand.

"It was interesting." Light glinted in Inui's glasses.

"Talking during Mao." Fuji placed a card off the top of a face down stack in front of Oishi.

"Point of order then." Oishi set down his cards, as did the other four.

"Who bottomed?" Fuji asked.

"You're the one who came up with that hierarchy..." Tezuka grumbled.

"It's probably different with Momo and Kaidoh. They're rivals so it's probably not quite as simple as..." Taka could feel the looks he was getting. "Just because I'm straight doesn't mean I don't pay attention to how it works!"

"Kaoru did." Inui sat down on the couch behind Oishi and Eiji.

"Anyways! Point taken!" Eiji picked up his cards.

Tezuka placed a red face card down on the table. "Redheads are sexy."

Fuji picked up the card he had placed down and one from the draw pile. "Not saying the correct phrase." He laid down a card.

Ryoma trailed into the kitchen to get a ponta, nodding at Momo, who was sitting at the table, in greeting.

"Inui-sempai?" Kaidoh stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, Kaoru?" He was watching the game of Mao intently. They had established several rules. One was to say "redheads are super sexy" when placing a red face card, and another was to sing and act out the Seigaku cheer Ryuzaki's granddaughter had created their third year of junior high tennis when putting an ace on the pile. The rule he hadn't figured out involved grabbing Tezuka's crotch and had only been done by Fuji so far.

"Can we talk?"

Inui's brows knitted, but he stood and followed the kouhai up the stairs.

"Point of order," Eiji said, "That can't be good."

"No, it can't." Fuji set his cards on the table.

Momo ignored him.

"Ne, Momo-sempai," Ryoma said, nudging the side of Momo's head. "Stop sulking."

"'M not sulking," Momo replied sulkily.

"I bet Kaidoh-sempai's taking this much better than you are, Momo-sempai. Stop being such a baby."

Momo shrugged.

Ryoma sighed and sat next to the power player, thinking that perhaps this one time he would play the supportive boyfriend role. "At least you topped."

"Yeah..." Momo smiled. "Thanks, Echizen."

"No problem. Want me to... take your mind off it?"

Momo raised an eyebrow. "Forward today, are we?"

"Well, I did just watch my boyfriend screw another guy. I'm about two parts horny and three parts possessive, so get upstairs because I won't be in this sort of mood for a long time."

"Inui-sempai." Kaidoh sat on their bed. "Could you…" He trailed off.

Inui sat down next to the younger boy. He could see the water beading at the end of Kaidoh's locks. Red patches had formed on the snake boy's skin where he had scrubbed it in the shower, and there were finger shaped bruises on his arms above his elbows.

"There was an eighty-six percent chance you would feel insecure after this."

Red tinged Kaidoh's cheeks.

Inui slid his glasses off his face and set them lightly on the nightstand. "Kaoru, yesterday we talked about the possibility of another seme approaching you with a romantic interest-"

"I don't like Momoshiro!" Kaidoh glared at the other boy.

"You called him 'Momoshiro'."

"I don't like that idiot, Inui-sempai!" Kaidoh insisted.

"I know." Inui kissed him, effectively quieting the younger player. He ran his fingertips over the fading red splotches and bruises. "But it would take less than a year for another regular to become romantically involved with you." Inui pulled back with an all-too-teasing smirk.

Kaidoh just glared. He knew Inui was just trying to make him mad now.

"I love you, Kaoru." Inui pushed some of the damp black locks out of Kaidoh's face.

"Inui-sempai..." He couldn't form coherent thoughts when Inui was kissing down the side of his neck and pinning his hands in his lap and pressing him towards the sheets.

"Here or shower?" Inui whispered in Kaidoh's ear.

"Jus' took one.." Kaidoh's lungs took advantage of the pause and sucked in air greedily.

"Help you wash him away." Inui 's lips now hovered above a nipple.

"Please?"

"They'll work it out on their own," Tezuka said, giving Fuji a warning look. "Inui probably won't be back for a while. Perhaps we should deal again and start a new round."

"Good idea," Oishi agreed, shoving his cards Eiji's way. "We just won't make up any new rules."

"But I was so close," Eiji whined, collecting the cards and shuffling them.

Taka-san went first, laying down a Jack, and Fuji picked it up and handed it back to him. "Not doing the correct motion." Oishi set down his card.

Taka frowned. "Point of order. Fuji, I'm not doing that."

"Doing what?" Fuji asked innocently.

"You know what!"

"What are you playing?" Ryuzaki-sensei stood in the doorway.

"Mao," Eiji said.

"And what is Fuji making you do?"

"We can't tell you." Fuji smiled.

"Point taken?" Eiji suggested.

Tezuka laid down his card. It was followed by a red jack from Fuji. "Redheads are super sexy!" He reached over and grabbed Tezuka's crotch again.

Eiji laughed at Tezuka's blush and set a black king on the pile and reached his hand towards Oishi, who squeaked. Fuji smiled and drew a card. "You figured it out."

"Of course!" Eiji picked up a card.

"Point of order," Taka said, "can we redeal?"

"Why?" Eiji asked.

Taka set his cards face up on the table. All six were face cards.

Momo plucked at the sheets. "These need washed."

"Uh-huh," Ryoma said sleepily, cuddling closer to Momo's side.

"Or burned, maybe."

"We're only staying here one more night, Momo-sempai."

"True... can we at least take them off?"

"Later."

"But now that I think about it, it's really going to bother me."

"Momo-sempai, if you move I will kill you."

Momo sighed. "You know something? I feel really bad for the person who has to come in here and clean up after us."

"Especially in Buchou and Fuji-sempai's room."

Inui could see the tension flow from his kouhai's body as he pulled him beneath the spray of the shower to wash the other fluids from his body.

"Thank you, Inui-sempai."

"No need to do that, you know how much of a dog I am." Inui couldn't resist the grin that worked its way onto his mouth at his own joke.

"What?" Kaidoh looked up, confused.

"Marking my territory..." Inui quirked a brow as if his joke had been the most obvious thing in the world.

Kaidoh cocked one of his own eyebrows before shaking his head and muttering, "I'm just going to pretend you didn't ruin this moment and say that." He rested his cheek on his sempai's collarbone.

Inui cradled the back of Kaidoh's head with one hand, still grinning.

"Are you sore?"

Kaidoh shrugged. "Why?" Inui started to say something, but was cut off. "No, never mind, I don't want to know..." He wrapped his arms around Inui's waist.

"So."

Momo cracked one eye open. Echizen was giving him the boyfriend look, the look that said he better say what Ryoma wanted him to say or risk sleeping on the proverbial couch for the next month or six. "Hn?"

"Now that you've slept with Kaidoh-sempai and everything."

Momo didn't like where this was going. "Yeah?"

"Who's the better uke? Me or him?"

"Well..." he said slowly, fighting a grin, "Mamushi has more experience. But you're actually willing to have sex with me. Most of the time."

Ryoma's eyes narrowed. "You're not answering my question."

"Don't be denser than usual, Echizen," Momo teased, straddling the freshman. "You know I'd pick you over anyone in the world."

"You would?"

"Mmhm," Momo hummed, leaning down to rest his forehead against the smaller boy's.

"I love you," he paused for dramatic effect, "Takeshi."

"Fine, but just this once." Fuji collected the cards.

"So do you think they'll actually stop fighting now, Oishi?" Eiji put his chin in his hands and watched the tensai shuffle the cards.

"I hope." Oishi pinched the bridge of his nose.

"If not maybe we could send them to couple's counseling." Eiji smirked.

"Inui and Echizen would kill you if they heard you say that," the vice captain replied.

"They'll stop fighting." Tezuka watched Fuji deal the cards into neat little stacks of five.

"How do you know?" Taka asked.

"Did you notice how Shishido acted around Atobe at our last game?"

"They actually-?"

"No way!"

"I thought that example was just hypothetical..." Oishi groaned.

"It was Choutarou's idea."

Momo grinned and pinched Ryoma's nipple. "Don't say it if you're just going to be sarcastic!"

"Ow!" Ryoma pushed him off with surprising force and straddled him. "I tell you I love you and you abuse me! And Fuji-sempai says _I'm_ a bad boyfriend."

"Che. Brat." Momo tugged Ryoma down by the shoulder and kissed him. "I love you too."

Ryoma laid down on top of Momo, snuggling close.

Momo petted the smaller boy's hair, not knowing how to respond.

"Momo-sempai?"

"Hm?" Momo continued his stroking.

"Does it bother you that I don't call you 'Takeshi'?"

Momo shrugged. "A little..."

"Why?"

"Because you're my boyfriend."

"So? Kikumaru-sempai doesn't call Oishi-sempai 'Shuichirou'."

"But Shichirou is kind of a mouthful. Takeshi isn't..." Momo moved the hand that was stroking Ryoma's hair down his chest to thumb the nipple he had pinched earlier apologetically. Ryoma trembled.

"But... what's it matter?"

"It just does, okay? I just..." Momo shrugged. "I guess it would stop me worrying that you're going to up and dump me one of these days..."

Ryoma blinked. "What?"

"Well, you know, it's not like you actually act like you want to be with me most of the time, and I just-"

"Momo-sempai, shut up. I'm not going anywhere, so stop being all insecure and girly, it's annoying."

"But-"

Ryoma pushed himself up to look at Momo. "Stop."

"Ryoma-"

"No. Quit." He frowned. "Just trust me."

Momo sighed.

"If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be. You could just as easily be with Kaidoh-sempai. Should I be worried about that? You told me I shouldn't be."

Momo glared at him for the last comment but nodded. After a moment of mulling silence he flipped them over and curled an arm and a leg around the small tennis prodigy.

"Can you not do that?"

"But you're so cuddle-able."

"You spend too much time with Kikumaru-sempai," Ryoma muttered, turning and tucking his arms between their chests.

"You love it, secretly," Momo teased, kissing the freshman's forehead. "You bite my head off if I even think about moving after sex."

Ryoma raised an eyebrow at him. "Which head?"

"I need my hand..." Kaidoh looked at the hand Inui was holding tightly. "I need to get dressed."

"No, you don't."

Kaidoh blushed.

"If you get dressed you'll just have to take your clothes off again anyway."

Kaidoh considered this, then lay back down next to his boyfriend. He didn't really want to leave the room. No doubt, with his luck, he'd end up running into Momoshiro, and he just wasn't ready for that yet. "Inui-sempai."

"Hm?"

"Am I..." Kaidoh furrowed his brows, searching for the right words. "I was uke."

"Yes."

"And I... I didn't even really try that hard to... you know. But it's Momoshiro. Am I just... weak or..."

"No, it is more natural for you to uke. You bottom in our relationship, and Momoshiro tops in his. You were both just assuming the roles you typically take."

"But it's Momoshiro! I didn't want to uke. I didn't even want to have sex with him, but I especially didn't want to uke, it's humiliating."

"Well, look at it this way," Inui said. "Yes, you bottomed, but you're used to bottoming, so it's not nearly as bad as you're making it out to be. And you are better than him at tennis."

Kaidoh looked at his sempai skeptically.

"And, you're a better uke than he is a seme."

"You're just trying to get into my pants again, aren't you?"

"You're not wearing pants."

"I won't be able to walk for a week," Ryoma half-groaned, half-panted, as Momo fell onto the bed heavily. "That's three times! And we have to go back to tennis as soon as we get back, and I won't be able to play because of you and your insatiable sexual appetite, and then my training's going to fall behind, and-"

"Shut up, Echizen," Momo said sleepily. "After what happened today, you're lucky I didn't tie you to the bed so you couldn't run away until I'd finished with you."

"I wouldn't run away, idiot." Ryoma muttered. He nuzzled into his sempai's chest. Momo was nothing if not good to cuddle.

"Go to sleep, brat."

"Gladly, Takeshi."

Momo kissed the first year's forehead and closed his eyes.

"You suck, Fujiko!" Eiji pouted as Fuji called Mao.

"Only Mitsu." Fuji smiled.

Eiji laughed, while Taka and Oishi both blushed. Tezuka glared at the little brunette.

"Do you think there was really anything wrong with us, Inui-sempai?" Kaidoh was thinking back to the "slumber party" the night before.

Inui was silent for a moment. "Well, we've never fought or really had any problems as extreme as the ones the others have been dealing with, so no, I doubt it. Tezuka and Oishi made me feel insecure in my abilities as your boyfriend. The idea that you might not be getting everything you needed and wanted out of our relationship... well, let's say I went temporarily insane. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, Kaoru."

Kaidoh flushed scarlet but smiled shyly. "Me too, Inui-sempai."

Inui smiled in return and kissed Kaidoh's forehead. "Ne, Kaoru."

"Hm?"

"What do you think about calling me 'Sadaharu'?"

Ryuzaki-sensei poured herself a cup of coffee and listened as the others chatted in the living room about... Momo and Kaidoh? What on Earth? She started to listen more closely and then stopped, thinking better. She did not want to know.

"Just one more night," she muttered.

Kaidoh flushed a shade darker, giving his sempai a looking bordering somewhere between confused, nervous, and apprehensive. "Why?"

"Because we've been dating for three years now, two and a half of which I have called you by your given name."

"But you're my sempai..."

Inui could practically see "Syntax Error: Does Not Compute" running across Kaidoh's forehead. "And your boyfriend. And eventually we're both going to have graduated, and I won't technically be your sempai anymore."

"But..." Kaidoh pursed his lips. "I don't know. It's weird. You've always been Inui-sempai."

Inui smiled. "And I still will be, no matter what you call me."

"Hm... Sadaharu..." Kaidoh blinked and wrinkled his nose. "It'll take a while to get used to..."

"You'll try it?"

Kaidoh shrugged. "If you want me to..."

"I thought you would be like Echizen and continue to call me Inui-sempai."

"I'll still probably slip up a lot..."

"That's perfectly fine. They say it takes twenty-one days for something to become a habit." Inui grinned and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Kaoru."

"I love you too, Inui-I mean. Sadaharu." Kaidoh's brow furrowed. "Still weird."

"Well, and you two occasionally, I suppose," Fuji continued, nodding to the Golden Pair.

"Fuji. Stop. Talking," Tezuka said through gritted teeth.

Fuji scooted over to press his side against Tezuka's. He smiled up at Tezuka. "Isn't that the point of this game?" He laid the card from the top of the draw deck face up on the table.

Eiji laid down a seven. "Have a nice day."

Taka put a three down.

Oishi stood up as he laid down an ace. "S-E-I-G-A-K You can say! Hey! Seigaku! Hey! Seigaku! Let's go!"

"Redheads are super sexy," Tezuka grumbled, hardly setting down his card before Fuji palmed his crotch. He twitched.

There was a crash upstairs, followed by giggling and a few seconds of fumbling before Kaidoh let out a long, low moan.

"Point of order," Fuji said, putting down his cards. "Why aren't we having sex?"

Taka flushed.

"Because that's all we've done the entire time we've been here." Oishi frowned.

"Not true! We went shopping, and spent a lot of time with Ryomoka..." Eiji pointed out.

"Fuji, we're playing a card game, and you're making Kawamura feel awkward." Tezuka scolded.

"I-Inui sempai!" Kaidoh yelped. "Don't do that!"

"What?" Inui asked innocently. "You mean this?"

Kaidoh groaned, his hands scrabbling at the sheets. "Please..."

"Please what?"

"But they sound like they're having so much fun..." Fuji whined.

"I'm not going anywhere," Tezuka said. _Not until I've had my revenge._

"Fine. Eiji?"

"Syusuke."

Fuji pouted. "You take all the fun out of life, Mitsu."

The game continued.

"I never thought Kaidoh-sempai could be so loud..." Ryoma said curiously.

"Can we not talk about him?"

"He wasn't that loud with you..."

"Not hearing this!"

"I guess Inui-sempai just knows how-"

"Shut up!" Momo sat up and pulled the freshman back into his arms.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Kaoru."

"Inui-sempai..."

"And no 'Inui-sempai.'"

Kaidoh hissed in frustration. "Sadaharu," he growled, whimpering as Inui caressed his inner thigh.

"Kaoru-" Inui paused. "Do you trust me?"

Kaidoh glared. "Of course I trust you!"

"I would like to try something new..." Inui slid off the bed and padded over to his suitcase, stooping to retrieve something.

Kaidoh partially sat up, trying to figure out what his sempai was getting.

Inui started to come back to the bed, not letting Kaidoh see until he was straddling him again. A silky scarf tickled his chest as Inui dangled the fabric over him.

"Give me your hands."

Kaidoh hesitated. "I... I don't know, Inu-Sadaharu..."

"Kaoru, I promise I'll stop if I do something that's making you uncomfortable," Inui promised. "Please?"

Swallowing, Kaidoh nodded. He did trust Inui, more than anyone in the world, but there was something about the idea of having no control that freaked him out a little. Still, if Inui wanted to try it, he'd be a good little kohai and go along with it.

His stomach became a knot of nerves as Inui tied his wrists together. He didn't attach them to the headboard, for which the younger boy was thankful, but instead Inui pinned them to the pillow above his head with a hand.

"Relax, Kaoru."

Kaidoh nodded stiffly. _It's just Inui-sempai. I love Inui-sempai. Inui-sempai won't hurt me. I trust Inui-sempai..._ The knot in his stomach just grew larger.

"I love you too, Kaoru." Kaidoh opened his eyes, not realizing he had shut them.

"Was I...?"

"Yes."

Kaidoh blushed. He hated when he muttered things out loud. It made him think of Ibu from Fudomine.

"Don't be embarrassed," Inui said, kissing the tip of Kaidoh's nose. "It's quite cute."

Which just made Kaidoh blush even more.

Inui pressed his pointer and middle fingers against Kaidoh's neck, checking his pulse. He frowned. "Calm down," Inui said softly. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I just want to make you feel good."

Kaidoh took a shaky breath, willing his stomach to untangle itself.


	17. Return of the Pr0nz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notebook: Return of the Pr0nz

The Notebook: Return of the Pr0nz

A/N: List of things we're pimping: Off the Spirals (check our author's page), our twisted prince of tennis renditions of Broadway musical songs (see our LJ/homepage link), Canadian Please (search it on YouTube), Katie (Contact me, and we'll set up a time. /wink wink/ Lol. No, we're totally married.), Big Windup (Funimation has the whole first season on their website. It's a good dub. We hate dubs. There is not enough good fic for it.)…..I think that's all we're pimping. OMG Two more chapters after this and then it's OVER. O_O! -Scarlet

Katie does not get pimped, Scarlet! Katie does the pimping. Get it straight.

Disclaimer: I own Fuji. My cat. ( _Our_ cat. Honestly, Scarlet, you don't get to write these things anymore.)

Warnings: gay sex, light voyeurism, light bondage… that's really it…

Fuji put his cards down as another moan came from upstairs. "Are you sure we can't go have sex?" He looked at Tezuka with his arms now crossed.

Tezuka shook his head and picked up a card, handing it to Fuji. "Talking during Mao."

Eiji laid down his card and reached over to Fuji, flicking him.

Fuji pouted, but he knew his friend was just carrying out Tezuka's rule.

"This is actually kind of interesting to listen to," Ryoma said, pressing his ear to his and Momo's bedroom door to better hear the noises drifting into the hallway from the Emerald Pair's room.

"Echizen, I really, really hate you," Momo groaned, hiding his face in his pillow.

"Kaidoh-sempai sounds really into it. Inui-sempai's kind of quiet, but that's not surprising-"

"What, do you go around imagining Inui-sempai and the Mamushi doing it?" Momo sounded revolted.

"Don't act like you haven't."

"No! I haven't!"

"How can you not have? They're the weird couple. You have to... wonder..." Ryoma glanced at Momo.

"Kaoru, quit squirming," Inui chastised.

"But you're-" Kaidoh's thoughts trailed off into a moan and more squirming.

"The weird couple?"

"You know what I mean. They're weird. They totally don't work except for where they're pretty much soul mates. It's weird. And their sex life has to be weird too because Inui-sempai does all sorts of weird things, Kaidoh-sempai said so last night..."

Momo raised a curious eyebrow, then got a strained thinking expression, then let out a noise of mental anguish.

"I didn't need those sorts of picture in my head!" He slammed the pillow down over his head.

"Did you know Inui-sempai times how long it takes to take his clothes off?" Ryoma tried to press closer to the door in his curiosity.

"Figures," Momo muttered.

"Wow, Inui-sempai's actually starting to get loud. You'd think Kaidoh-sempai would care that the whole house can probably hear him, but I guess-"

"E-chi-zen! Now you're just talking about it to be mean!"

"Goddamn it, Kunimitsu! I'm sorry about whatever I did to make you torment me with this! But can we please go have sex!" Fuji slammed his cards down on the table and stood up.

Tezuka glanced at him from his still seated position. "What do I get out of it?"

Fuji thought for a moment, then smiled wickedly and leaned over to whisper in Tezuka's ear. Tezuka's eyes widened minutely, and he cleared his throat. "We will be back. Later." With that he stood abruptly and pulled Fuji up the stairs.

"Nya, I wonder what Fuji said he'd do..." Eiji wondered.

"I guess that means we have to redeal again," Oishi said, frowning.

Taka-san shook his head. "No, no. Go ahead, ever since Inui and Kaidoh started up your minds have been elsewhere."

Oishi scratched his head. "That's okay, Taka-san. I wasn't..."

"Yes you were. Go on, I can entertain myself, really. If Momo and Echizen aren't in the middle of anything, I can steal the Playstation and bring it out here..."

Eiji frowned doubtfully. "Nya, but it's the last night. Taka-san shouldn't be all alone..."

"Really, there was something I wanted to do anyways." Taka-san smiled at the pair.

They looked at each other before standing up slowly. "If you're sure..." Oishi said.

"Go!" Taka shooed them with his hands.

Kaidoh panted as he tried to gain control over his body again.

Inui sat at the foot of the bed with an amused smirk on his face.

"Inui-"

"Ah ah ah," Inui tsked.

"Sadaharu, please..."

"Please what?"

Kaidoh flushed. "You know..."

"I want to hear you say it. What do you want me to do, Kaoru?"

"I... I want..." Kaidoh licked his lips. "I want you to... make love to me..."

Inui crawled over the smaller body. "Only if you promise to quiet down a little." He smiled.

Kaidoh blushed a dark scarlet. The entire house probably knew what was going on in their room. He vaguely recognized the snap of the cap on their lube being flicked back before Inui was pushing a finger inside him and he was trying to keep another moan contained.

"Good boy." Inui's other hand massaged Kaidoh's thigh.

Kaidoh tried to find some way to get a purchase on the bed beneath him and failed. "Inui-sempai..."

The analyst pinched his thigh.

"Inui-sempai!" he yelped.

He was pinched again.

"Sadaharu!"

The finger grazed over the now reddened skin lightly. "I'm not taking them off just because you can't hold on to something." Inui rubbed Kaidoh's prostate, making the kouhai squirm even more.

Kaidoh's breathing was becoming erratic. "Sadaharu," he gasped, "please-I'm ready-I-"

Inui grinned. "Patience, Kaoru."

Kaidoh barely managed to hold in a frustrated groan as Inui went back to slowly preparing him, adding a second finger and stretching him. "It's quite sexy when you call me Sadaharu," Inui told him. "And encouraging. Perhaps we should conduct an experiment to see if the number of times you call me by my given name will influence how quickly you'll get what you want..."

"Anything... Just... Please..." He arched his back as the fingers did deliciously pleasing things to him.

"Almost ready, Kaoru." He added the magic third finger.

"You'll really stop tormenting me for a month if I have sex with you right now?" Tezuka asked suspiciously as Fuji pressed himself wantonly against the captain's body.

"Kunimitsu!" Fuji whined.

Tezuka rolled his eyes and started shedding their clothing.

"Not Buchou and Fuji-sempai too," Momo groaned.

Another cry of "Kunimitsu!" carried through the wall.

"Do they ever stop?"

"You're one to talk," Ryoma grumbled.

"Fuji-sempai and Buchou are WAY worse than us!"

"Us?" Ryoma cocked an eyebrow.

"Wait..." Oishi paused at their door. "We can't go in there. Inui and Kaidoh are in there."

"But Oishi!" Eiji whined.

Oishi thought for a moment. "Bathroom?" he suggested.

"Us. You and me. Who else would I be having sex with?" Momo frowned. "And don't say Mamushi, I'll kill you."

"I don't have anything to do with it, you're the one who keeps jumping me."

"You suggested we have sex in the first place earlier!"

"Once because I was trying to make you feel better. The next two times were all you."

"I didn't realize how discontented you were when you were screaming my name!" Momo shot back.

"I didn't scream, and don't mock Fuji-sempai."

"Quit! I'm ready, damn it," Kaidoh cursed.

"Kaoru, be patient or I will stop entirely," Inui threatened. "Proper preparation is important, as you very well know. You'll be glad I took this slowly."

Kaidoh held back another curse. It wasn't like they'd always had time for this; Kaidoh was used to it without much preparation, and they'd certainly had sex often enough that Inui didn't need to be as careful as he was being.

After a few more thrusts with his fingers the analyst looked up. "Are you ready, Kaoru?"

Kaidoh resisted the urge to shout at his sempai. "Yes, In-Sadaharu."

"You caught yourself. You will be rewarded, Kaoru." Inui positioned himself and leaned down to pin Kaidoh's hands above his head and kiss him again before pushing in slowly.

"You did," Momo argued. "Or at least you said it. Loudly."

"Che. Whatever."

"Admit it." Momo pushed the freshmen onto his back. "You love the sex."

"You're so full of yourself."

"Hypocrite. Say it. I won't let you up until you do."

"Yes. You will."

"No...What are you doing?"

Ryoma snickered.

"Don't touch me there!" Momo jumped off the bed defensively.

Ryoma smirked and laid back onto the bed comfortably. "You touch me there," another dramatic pause, "Takeshi."

"That's different," Momo whined, pouting. "You're the uke."

"So? It doesn't only feel good if you're an uke. Come here."

Momo hesitated, then sat on the bed next to his boyfriend.

"I'm not going to try to screw you or anything, just chill out." Ryoma grabbed the tube of lube from the nightstand and squeezed some onto his fingers. "Lay down."

"Echizen, I don't know about-"

"I'll withhold sex. I really will."

Momo sighed and lay back on the pillows. Ryoma nudged his legs apart. "Relax," he ordered, sliding his middle finger inside. Momo stiffened. Ryoma waited a minute and then added a second finger, pursing his lips in concentration. He crooked the fingers, prodding Momo's prostate in the process, and smirked as Momo arched off the bed, moaning loudly.

"See?"

Momo gave a soft groan before he muttered, "Do that again..."

Ryoma couldn't help the onset of giggles.

"What is Ochibi doing in there?" Eiji paused at the door.

"I have no idea..." Oishi put his hand on Eiji's waist, "but it sounds like he's enjoying himself..."

"No way! When Ochibi enjoys himself he smirks! He's probably torturing poor Momo!"

"Then Momo probably deserves it. C'mon."

"Ne, you were so enthusiastic," Fuji said drowsily, cuddling closer to Tezuka. "Is there a reason for that, Mitsu?"

"You know perfectly well what the reason is."

Fuji pouted. "Mou, how mean. You're really that happy that I can't have any fun for a whole month?"

"Yes," Tezuka said truthfully, "and don't complain, it was your proposition."

"I suppose, but can I ask one thing of you?"

Tezuka raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"I want to introduce our parents."

Inui smirked as he looked over the younger boy, mentally patting himself on the back.

Kaidoh groaned softly, "Fuck... My head hurts..."

Inui smiled. "You hit your head pretty hard on the headboard."

"Yeah, thanks to you..."

"Be nice."

"Mpf..."

Inui ran his fingers gently over Kaidoh's head, feeling for the bump he was certain would be there. He kissed it before laying down next to his kouhai and spooning him tightly.

"...I believe that would come under the heading of tormenting me, Syusuke."

"No, no, I promise to be good. I just think... we've been together for so long, I think it's necessary, and don't you think this month is a great time to do it, when I can't cause trouble?"

Tezuka eyed his boyfriend suspiciously. Something was afoot. Fuji would not suggest something like this, where he could so easily wreak havoc, when he couldn't actually do anything. There had to be something up his sleeve. But if he accused Fuji, the tensai would sulk and pout and Tezuka wouldn't get any for a while. "I suppose," he said finally.

Fuji beamed.

"You won't regret it, Kunimitsu! I promise!" Fuji latched his arms around the captain's neck and kissed him.

Tezuka suppressed a shudder. He was _so_ going to regret this.

"Fuji-sempai did that when I didn't want to be uke that time..." Ryoma's cheeks dusted over a pale pink.

"What?" Momo jerked upright.

"Yeah, he wanted to show me that being uke wasn't all bad..." Ryoma frowned. "Oh, don't look so pissed, you got to seme, didn't you? Anyway, it's not like we really did anything. You had sex with Kaidoh-sempai."

"With your permission!"

Eiji slid down the bathroom wall bonelessly, exhausted. "I don't think I'll be able to move for the rest of my life."

Oishi chuckled and sat next to the redhead, wrapping his arm around him. "I don't mind carrying you everywhere."

Eiji blushed a dark shade of red and brought his knees up to his chest.

"What is it, Eiji?"

"Nothin', nya..." He tried to will the blood from his cheeks

"It's not 'nothing' if you're blushing about it like that..." Oishi smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"It doesn't matter anyways. It's not possible." Eiji stood with a sigh.

"I'm going to talk to Fuji-sempai."

Ryoma blinked. "Don't."

"I'm going." Momo pulled on his boxers and started toward the door. "He can't just molest my boyfriend and get away with it, I won't stand for it."

"Oh, shut up. If you go bug him now Fuji-sempai will kill you, you know how he feels about his 'post-coital bliss' or whatever..."

"Eiji?" Oishi came up behind his redheaded boyfriend at the counter.

"It's really nothing, Oishi. Promise!" Eiji smiled brightly.

Oishi frowned. It was times like this when he really wanted the tensai and acrobat kept apart. The smiling mask was Fuji's trademark, and, in Oishi's opinion, he could keep it!

"Let's get dressed and go see what Taka-san's doing! We can't leave him down there by himself for too long, that'd be mean, nya!" Oishi tried to protest, but Eiji was already tugging his shirt over his head and trying to get out of the bathroom as soon as he could.

"Oi! Taka-san! What smells so good?" Eiji practically slid across the hardwood floor into the kitchen.

"A surprise."

"How come? I thought you were just gonna play video games or something?" Eiji peeked over the power player's shoulder.

"I felt like it, and we leave tomorrow, and there's still a lot of food here." Taka smiled.

"Can I help?"

"Sure." Taka-san led him away from the stove to the cutting board.

"No! Momo-sempai, you idiot!"

"Fuji-sempai!" Momo banged on their captain and tensai's door.

Inside the room Fuji growled in annoyance and sank further into the sheets and his boyfriend's chest. Stupid Momo.

"Fuji-sempai! I need to talk to you!"

Fuji felt Tezuka shift and call towards the door, "What do you need, Momoshiro?"

"I need to talk to Fuji-sempai about molesting my boyfriend!"

Fuji sighed. "So that's what this is about..." He stood, pulling Tezuka's t-shirt over his head, and opened the door a crack. "Momo, really, this is not the time."

"Like I give a damn! Fuji-sempai, you can't just go around... touching other people's boyfriends without even asking them first!"

"I offered to convince Echizen to uke for you, and you agreed. That was my solution. You got what you wanted. I don't see a problem."

"I DO!"

Fuji rested his head on the doorframe, looking past Momo to Echizen.

"I tried to stop him, Fuji-sempai..."

Fuji let Momo rant at him for a few minutes while he surveyed Ryoma. "Oh!" It dawned on him why exactly that conversation could have come up. "I get it now!" He started to laugh behind his hand, but to no avail.

Momo flushed as his laughing sempai held himself up on the doorframe.

Fuji got control of himself enough to nod at Ryoma before he shut the door and returned to the bed. Tezuka had pulled himself up on one elbow and was looking at him curiously.

"What's so funny?"

"Echizen," the tensai said, still grinning as he pulled the oversized shirt off, "never fails to surprise me."

"Eiji." Taka's phone was ringing. "Would you mind stirring this? Ann-chan gets mad when I don't take her calls."

Eiji nodded and hopped off the counter. "No problem!"

Taka-san went out to the porch and left Eiji alone. He listened for a minute to Momo yelling at Fuji from upstairs, followed by the tensai's laughter.

He listened to Momo and Ryoma's footsteps trail into their room before another set came downstairs.

"What are you cooking, Kikumaru-sempai?" Kaidoh reached into the cabinet for a glass and a painkiller.

"I don't know what it is. Taka-san's the one cooking it. He just left me in charge while he talks to Ann-chan, nya." Eiji smiled.

"Oh..." Kaidoh turned on the tap and filled his glass.

"It sounded like you were having fun..." Eiji laughed lightly.

Kaidoh blushed, not turning to look at his sempai. "Um..."

"It's not like we haven't all had sex today, thanks to you and Inui." He poked the junior's cheek.

"Are you okay, Kikumaru-sempai?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Eiji, who had turned to face Kaidoh, took a step back and bumped into the stove. "Ow! That hurt!" He pouted, looking at the unhappy looking red spot on his arm where it had touched the hot pan.

Kaidoh turned the burner on low and pushed Eiji toward the sink, pulling the lighter arm underneath the cool water.

"Owwies..." Eiji pouted.

"Usually you wouldn't have run into the stove, Kikumaru-sempai... What's wrong?"

"Kaidoh..." The redhead paused. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Hmm..."

"A serious question."

Kaidoh looked at his sempai. "What?"

"Have you and Inui ever talked about... you know... getting married?" He saw Kaidoh frown and start to talk. "I mean, if it ever becomes legal."

Kaidoh blushed and turned off the tap, grabbing the towel. "A little..." He patted Eiji's arm dry gently.

"Really?" Eiji looked excited.

"Yeah..." Kaidoh gave a small nervous smile as he inspected the burn.

"Have you ever thought about-" Eiji paused again- "being carried across the threshold?"

"Not specifically, Kikumaru-sempai... What brought all this on?"

Eiji turned awkwardly to look at his burn. "Oishi said something about carrying me... and my brain kinda jumped..." He dropped his arm to his side.

Kaidoh tilted his head. "Why would that make you upset?"

"Momo is none too bright," Fuji said sleepily, hooking one leg over Tezuka's. "I can't count the number of times he's practically asked for me to torture him this week..."

"He has a point about touching people who are not your boyfriend," Tezuka said testily.

"Oh, really, Mitsu. It was for the good of the team."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"They couldn't even focus on tennis during practice because they were both so sexually frustrated. Same with the Golden Pair. I saved Nationals this week, Kunimitsu."

Tezuka rolled his eyes.

"Because! We're gay! We can't get married for real!"

"Oishi-sempai can still carry you across the threshold..."

"But, it's not the same... It's not fair!"

"There's nothing we can do about it, Sempai. You and Oishi-sempai are already an old married couple at heart anyways."

"I know... It's just frustrating..." Eiji's shoulders slumped.

"I know."

"I'm sorry for venting to you..."

"It's fine. I don't mind." Kaidoh rubbed the back of his neck.

"Then you won't mind this!" Eiji glomped him.

"Kikumaru, what are you doing?" Inui's voice came from the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh! Sorry, that reminds me, I have to go talk to Oishi!" Eiji detached himself from the kouhai and ran upstairs, calling, "Kaidoh, watch the stove!" on his way up.

Eiji crashed into their bedroom to find Oishi digging through his trunk for something. Taking a deep breath, Eiji said, "Oishi, I need to talk to you about something."

Oishi straightened and looked at Eiji with concern in his eyes. "Are you going to tell me what was bothering you earlier?"

"Yeah." The butterflies in his stomach doubled as Eiji knelt down in front of his partner. "Shuichiro."

Oishi blinked in surprise. Eiji never called him by his given name. "Yes?"

"Will you marry me?"

"What?"

There was hurt in Eiji's eyes as he looked up at Oishi from the floor. "Nya, Oishi doesn't want to..."

"I didn't-Eiji, stand up." He pulled the redhead up. "I'm just surprised. What brought this on?"

"Well... I was sad because you said you'd carry me around, and it made me think that even if we're married in every way that counts, we won't really be, and... then I talked to Kaidoh, and he made me feel a little better... And I decided that even if the law says we can't get married, I want you to carry me across the threshold."

Oishi smiled. "You sounded so mature just now, Eiji."

"Nya... thanks, I guess."

"But Eiji, don't you think it's a little early to be getting engaged? We're only seventeen..."

"Nope! I want to be with Oishi forever!" Eiji grinned. "So what do you say?"

Oishi gave his partner a soft smile and pulled Eiji into his arms. "I want to be with you forever too."

Eiji hugged Oishi tightly and kissed him soundly on the lips before pulling away. "I have to go tell Fujiko!" Eiji ran out of the room as fast as he could and down the hall to the captain and tensai's room. He opened the door and shouted "FUJIKO!" as he dove onto the lumps under the covers.

"Fujiko! Fujiko!" Eiji shook the shoulder of the smaller lump. Fuji pulled the covers away from his face. "Oishi and me are getting married!"

Fuji's eyes widened slightly, and then he smiled. "That's wonderful, Eiji. Did he give you a ring?"

"Nya, Fujiko, don't just assume that Oishi proposed!" Eiji pouted. "I guess I shoulda gotten a ring first... but Oishi didn't seem to care, nya. I'll definitely get him one when we go home, though!"

"You proposed to Oishi?" Tezuka asked.

Eiji nodded happily.

"Well, I think your fiance would be disappointed to see you in bed with two other men." Fuji smiled.

"Actually, he's smiling," Tezuka quipped.

Eiji turned to see Oishi smiling in his parental manner, leaning against the doorframe.

"What on Earth is Kikumaru doing up there?" Inui asked as he leaned against the counter.

Kaidoh shrugged as he stirred the pot his sempai had left him in charge of.

"Eiji-oh, Kaidoh... Where'd Eiji go?"

"He's running around upstairs..." Inui supplied.

Just then the acrobat came barreling down the stairs, jumping up and down in excitement. "Guess what!"

They looked at him expectantly.

"I asked Oishi to marry me, and he said yes!"

Inui looked at Kaidoh. "You don't expect me to..." He trailed off.

"No."

Eiji hugged Taka-san and dashed back upstairs to Momo and Ryoma's room.

"What the hell?" Momo grumbled.

Ryoma mumbled and turned over, having decided that he was sleeping until further notice. If he stayed asleep he wouldn't have to have sex again. Four times was WAY more than enough for him.

"Momo! O-chi-bi! Open up, open up, I have to tell you something!"

"Eiji-sempai, come back later, will you?"

"No! I have to tell you right now! It's super important!"

"Fucking-Goddamn-I'm coming!" Momo shouted the last part as Eiji's insistent pounding on the door grew louder. He unlocked the door and wrenched it open. "What."

"Oishi and I are getting married!"

"You're already married, Kikumaru-sempai," Ryoma groaned. "Go away."

"We are not! Ochibi's so mean, nya."

Momo slammed the door in his face and crawled back into bed.

Eiji pouted at the door for a minute, then shrugged and ran for the stairs again, shouting, "Ryuzaki-sensei!"


	18. The Giggle Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook: The Giggle Box_

_The Notebook: The Giggle Box_

Author's Note: I'm sorry this chapter's late. As the official beta, the chapters getting posted is sort of dependent on me having any time at all, and this week… not so much. The next one won't be late, though.

Love how you typed out "Author's Note"...I'm going to take the oportunity to pimp an anime I recently discovered. Utawarerumono. (It's a mouthful. I know.) It is feeding my twin obsession. Legit. I have the most horribly unhealthy obsession with twins ever. They are super cute, and the ones in this series are furries (/cough/ and share a lover and call him "m'lord" and are too flipping cute for words!)...They aren't actually in it too much yet though. /frownie face/ Anyways, have fun, read, review, enjoy. I love you all! -Scarlet

Disclaimer: Not ours. If Scarlet wants to post something witty, she can. Also a chapter title. I am half-dead today.

Warnings: …Uh, I don't think there's any lemon in this chapter. Yeah, there's not really anything to warn against, as far as I can tell. There is spin the bottle and trickery (which actually happened to us, for the record) though.

"I suppose we should get up now?" Fuji sat up and stretched.

"Looks that way." Oishi smiled from the door.

"Congratulations, Oishi." Tezuka sat up as well.

"Thanks, I'll go try to get him to settle down." Oishi shut their door softly and left.

Fuji pulled himself out of the bed and started pulling his clothes on, Tezuka mimicking on the other side of the bed.

"It smells like Taka-san's been cooking..." Fuji sniffed at the smells coming from the kitchen. "Do you think I should make Momo and Ryoma get up?"

"Leave them for a while." Tezuka put a hand on the small of Fuji's back and guided him downstairs.

"You're not even eighteen yet, Kikumaru..." Ryuuzaki-sensei frowned in confusion.

"Nya, but Sensei, I'm totally sure there'll never be anyone else I love as much as Oishi, so why not?"

"Because you're seventeen, your mind could change. You never know. Give it a couple more years, at least."

"A couple years won't change how I feel," Eiji said stubbornly. "And it won't change how Oishi feels, either."

"Surprisingly, Sensei, I agree with Eiji," Oishi said, coming up behind Eiji and wrapping his arm around his partner's waist.

She sighed. "You boys..." She hugged them, making their eyes widen at the strange act. "When you tell your parents, I had no knowledge of this. None. Do you hear me?" She shook a stern finger at them. "I'm happy for you." She took her cell phone and walked out to the porch.

A part of Eiji wondered if she was calling a day spa or a psychologist. He knew she would probably need trips to both after this vacation was over.

"I think our parents will be happy for us. Don't you think, Oishi?"

"Mm, I'm not sure. Your parents might be, but my parents will probably think we're being irresponsible... And they'll probably think we're only doing it so we can have sex."

Eiji sniggered. "Nya, Oishi, your parents need to realize you're not as innocent they think you are."

"Thanks to you," Oishi accused, smiling. "Why don't we go upstairs and I'll show you just how much you've corrupted me?"

"I believe you were the one who suggested most of the alternatives!" Eiji shot back with a grin.

Oishi blushed before swinging Eiji up into his arms and starting back to to the main level.

"No more sex until after dinner," Fuji commanded as he saw the pair. He was pointing at them with a sauce-covered wooden spoon. Taka-san stood behind him, obviously having had said spoon removed from his hand just to be used as a pointer.

"Fujiko! You meanie!"

"It's almost ready, you guys," Taka-san tried to placate.

Oishi put Eiji on the floor and took a seat at the table next to Inui, Eiji plopping into a chair on his other side.

"Mitsu, do you mind going to wake up Momo and Echizen?"

"They probably want to be left alone."

"You know they never turn down food, no matter how exhausted they are."

Tezuka considered this for a moment, then nodded and started up the stairs.

Fuji started bringing out plates piled with Taka-san's yummy cooking.

"So what are we going to do tonight in honor of our newly engaged couple?" Fuji stood between his friends and put his hands on their shoulders.

"We can finish the game of Mao..." Inui suggested.

"I think we might have too many people to play as a whole group."

"There's always Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever, but we've already played those..." Taka-san brought out more plates.

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Eiji waved a hand in the air. "We should play Spin the Bottle! Please?" He looked at Oishi and Fuji with puppy eyes.

Fuji raised an amused eyebrow. "You just got engaged and you want to play Spin the Bottle."

Eiji flushed. "Yes?"

"Well, that's not exactly a game Taka-san's comfortable with playing..." Oishi pointed out.

"Oh, well, I don't really mind, I suppose," the power player said. "If everyone else wants to play, I'm in."

After dinner and clean up and Ryuzaki had gone to bed, they piled into the living room.

"Are we playing the way that someone just spins the bottle and whoever the two ends land on kiss, or are we playing the way that you go around the circle and whoever the neck end points to you kiss?" Momo asked as he pulled Ryoma to his side.

"No, no! The person who gets kissed spins next," Eiji argued. "If you do it the first way, the same two people will always kiss each other and that's boring, nya..."

"Well, I don't want to kiss anyone but Ryoma anyways..." Momo muttered.

"Would you like to establish any other rules, Eiji? Length of time required for the kiss? Anything like that?" Fuji asked.

"Um... well, at least a couple seconds, not some wimpy kiss, nya," Eiji said thoughtfully. "But there doesn't have to be tongue or anything."

Nodding, Fuji sat on the carpet, the other Regulars following suit.

"Fuji, you are not allowed to spin the bottle... Neither are you, Inui," Tezuka said before he sat down between Ryoma and Oishi.

"Mou, but why, Mitsu?" Fuji pouted. "How can I possibly cheat at spinning a bottle?"

Tezuka just glared. He didn't know how, but Fuji certainly would find a way, and he wasn't having it.

"And anyway, how am I supposed to play if I can't spin it?"

"Someone will spin it for you." Tezuka said.

"You start, Oishi!" Eiji handed him the bottle.

Oishi took the bottle and set it in the center of the circle. He gave it a spin. It landed on Taka-san.

Taka looked hesitantly at the vice captain, who smiled apologetically. Taka shrugged and leaned forward, meeting Oishi halfway. They stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before Oishi leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

They pulled apart quickly and took their spots in the circle.

Taka spun the bottle.

 _Please don't land on Fuji. Please don't land on Fuji,_ Tezuka chanted in his head.

The bottle came to a slow stop, pointing at Fuji.

Fuji smiled, and stood, walking around the circle to Taka. He touched the back of Tezuka's neck softly. _Don't you dare freak out, Mitsu,_ he thought, hoping that he would become momentarily telepathic.

Kissing Taka-san was like kissing a relative, and honestly, Fuji couldn't imagine Taka's crush would persist after this.

Fuji gave the taller boy a smile as he stood up and returned to his place. "Who wants to spin for me?" Tezuka reached for the bottle.

It landed on Momo. Tezuka almost laughed. The junior had done almost nothing but piss off the tensai the entire vacation.

Momo looked like someone had put him in a cage with a tiger. Ryoma had to shove him toward Fuji. Fuji kissed him innocently enough at first, but as soon as Momo went to pull away, the tensai bit down hard on his lip. Momo yelped.

"Fuji-sempai!"

Fuji blinked innocently. "Oh, I'm sorry, Momo. I didn't mean to."

"Whatever," Momo grumbled, taking the bottle and spinning it.

It took all Kaidoh's will not to get up and run away when it landed on him.

"I'm not kissing him!" Momo pointed at Kaidoh.

Kaidoh didn't want to kiss the idiot either, but at the same time part of him was still insulted.

"Would you rather drink penal-tea?" Tezuka asked, not missing a beat.

"Yes."

"Oh, don't be childish," Fuji chided. "You've had sex, just get it over with."

They looked at each other, glaring daggers, and leaned across the circle, brushing their lips together briefly before retreating and glaring some more. Kaidoh spun, the bottle landing on Tezuka.

 _That's not so bad,_ Kaidoh thought. _At least I've kissed him before._ He moved around the circle to Tezuka.

The game was relatively uneventful after that. Tezuka kissed Fuji, who kissed Inui, who kissed Eiji, who spent much longer than was necessary kissing Oishi, and so on.

"I think it's time for bed..." Fuji watched Ryoma's head bob as he drifted off to sleep again. Eiji was cuddled against Oishi's side. He took the bottle from the center of their circle and put it on the coffee table, effectively ending their game.

Momo scooped Ryoma into his arms and started up the stairs.

"No more sex, Momo-sempai..." Ryoma mumbled.

The rest of them got up and trailed upstairs.

"We should move this back into our room..." Oishi stood in front of the toy chest.

"Tezuka and I will move it. You and Eiji go get ready for bed." Fuji smiled at the vice captain.

"Okay..." Oishi smiled hesitantly and pulled Eiji into the restroom to brush their teeth.

Fuji took his cell phone from his pocket and placed it inside the chest. "Mitsu, come help me." Fuji said as Tezuka came out of their room in his pajamas.

They pushed the box back into the Golden and Emerald Pairs' room.

Inui and Kaidoh were already asleep when Oishi and Eiji made it into the bedroom. They curled together under the blanket.

"Ne, Oishi..." Eiji said uncertainly.

"Hm?" Oishi replied sleepily, hugging Eiji tighter to him.

"Are you sure you want to marry me?"

"What? Of course I'm sure, Eiji. I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't."

"Well... okay." The redhead didn't sound entirely convinced. "Love you."

"Love you too, Eiji." Oishi kissed his forehead.

He'd just begun to drift off to sleep when Eiji shook him awake, whispering his name frantically.

"Eiji? ...Eiji, what-calm down. What is it?"

"It giggled!"

"What giggled?"

"The box! That evil box, I'm telling you, it just giggled, I heard it!"

"Eiji, you were probably just imagining it... go back to-" Oishi stopped, eyes widening as he heard a menacing giggle coming from the corner of the room.

They both sat up, Kaidoh similarly righted in the other bed, a look of horror on his face.

It giggled again, and all three of them ran out of the room and down the stairs.

Tezuka heard screaming just seconds after Fuji turned the lights off.

"What did you do, Syusuke?"

"Nothing, Mitsu."

"You're lying."

"I am not."

"You are. You know I can always tell."

"It's very impolite to accuse people, you know."

Inui blinked as his boyfriend bolted out of the bedroom, the Golden Pair following after, and reached for his glasses on the nightstand. Inui didn't believe in ghosts or demons or anything of that nature; it was simply illogical, so there must be something else that was making the toybox giggle. There was a ninety-six percent chance that Fuji had done something to it, but he didn't know what. He climbed out of bed and knelt by the box, examining it.

A dim light was shining through the hole in the 'B'. Inui opened the box and pulled out Fuji's cell phone. It said Tezuka was calling as the giggling started again. The analyst waited until the call went to voicemail and then called Tezuka.

"Hello?" Fuji answered the phone.

"Why do you have my phone?" Tezuka said in the background.

"Would you like to explain to me why your phone is in the toy box, Fuji?"

"If you play along and get them to go back to bed, and you act like you can't hear it, you will get some very good data," Fuji sing-songed into the phone.

"Fuji," Tezuka's voice said in the background.

Inui thought about this for a moment. "...You have a point. Okay, I'll convince them to come back up."

"Have fun!"

Inui found his three roommates in the living room huddled together in terror on the couch. "What is this about?"

"The box! It's possessed," Eiji whispered.

"Nonsense," Inui said. "I didn't hear anything. It's highly probable that you're all just afraid of what that book said, and your fear is manifesting. We should go to bed now, we have to get up early in the morning."

"It did, though! I swear it did!" Eiji shouted.

"M-maybe Inui's right, Eiji..." Oishi tried to reason.

Eiji pouted as Oishi slowly, cautiously lead him back upstairs.

"Kaoru..."

"No."

"Come," Inui ordered, offering his hand to his boyfriend.

Kaidoh took the hand and fixed Inui with a trusting look.

Inui almost felt bad as he shut the door and laid back down, tucking Kaidoh to his chest.

Fuji's phone rang, the bizarre laughter he had recorded as his ringtone filling the room. Kaidoh stiffened.

"Inui! It is too giggling!" Eiji yelled, trying desperately to worm further into Oishi's arms.

"Kikumaru, I don't hear anything," Inui said, sitting up. "Please go to sleep."

"Inui! This isn't funny anymore!"

"I really don't hear anything. I think you're all suffering from lack of sleep and it's making you hallucinate." The box giggled again, and Inui tried not to react.

Fuji heard Eiji yelling at Inui in the next room and giggled. He hit redial on Tezuka's phone.

"Syusuke, give me my phone."

Fuji gasped. "Kunimitsu! You have Tetris on here and you didn't tell me! For shame!" he scolded, looking over his shoulder.

"You said if we had sex this afternoon..."

"I'm not torturing you, Kunimitsu. I'm torturing Eiji, Oishi, and Kaidoh." The phone made a noise, and Fuji squirmed. "Level two!" He paused his game to redial.

Tezuka glared at the tensai's back.

"Sadaharu," Kaidoh growled as the box giggled again, "I know you know what's going on, and if you don't tell me-"

"Kaoru, I am being completely honest. I cannot hear this giggling you all are going on about."

Kaidoh looked at him suspiciously. "You know, I trust you more than anyone. You don't usually lie to me."

 _I know this tactic,_ Inui thought as he felt his resolve start to weaken. _I will not be guilt-tripped out of getting data._

"And I don't want to have a reason to stop trusting you," Kaidoh continued. "Because I think trust is the most important part of a relationship."

Inui bit his lip. The box "laughed," and Kaidoh pressed closer into his arms.

"'Haru..." Inui could only call the tone a whimper. He groaned and threw the covers off. He stalked over to the toybox, grabbed the phone, opened their door roughly, and walked to Tezuka and Fuji's door. He tossed open their door and chucked the phone at Fuji, who dodged just barely without looking.

The analyst slammed his captain's door and walked back to his room slightly calmer. He reached to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose and found that they weren't there.

Oishi and Eiji stood in the doorway when he got back.

"Inui's a jerk, nya!"

"That was not nice. You should know better than to listen to Fuji, Inui."

Inui, who had been looking down, started to turn his gaze up, hoping that by some miracle it would work on them as well as it did on Kaoru.

"Don't you even!" Kaidoh smacked Inui's head back down with his pillow.

"He said I could get good data," Inui defended.

Kaidoh hit him again.

"I'm sorry," the analyst said dejectedly, hanging his head.

Ryoma struggled to break Momo's hold on him so he could sit up. "What in hell is going on out there?" he grumbled, climbing out of bed. He opened his door to find the Golden Pair and Inui in the doorway of their bedroom.

"Stop. Talking," he growled. "Some people are trying to sleep, you know. Some people were molested for three straight hours this afternoon and are exhausted and are ready to start hitting people with tennis balls-"

"Go to bed, Echizen." Kaidoh ordered, grabbing Inui's wrist and pulling him into the room, slamming the door shut.

Ryoma glared at the closed door and scuffled back to his bed, snuggling back into Momo's arms. "Kaidoh-sempai's being bossy."

"He has to be, Inui's his boyfriend," Taka mumbled from the bed over.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru."

"Shut up." Kaidoh turned his back to Inui as they laid down again.

"I love you."

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Inui-sempai, if you say one more word I swear on my life I will break up with you."

Inui fell silent, instead opting to nuzzle the back of Kaidoh's neck. Kaidoh made a happy sound and leaned into the touch, then stiffened and pulled away. "Don't try it. I'm upset with you, and trying to get me to forgive you is just going to make me angrier."

Inui pressed a single kiss to the nape of Kaidoh's neck before he backed away, giving the younger boy ample room.

"Oh dear... I will have to do something nice for Inui and Kaidoh..."

"Why?"

"Kaidoh just threatened to break up with Inui..."

"Fuji."

"I didn't think something like this would happen!" Fuji tapped his chin thoughtfully. "How to help Inui make it up to Kaidoh..."

"Syusuke, stop plotting and come to bed."


	19. That's all we wrote

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _The Notebook: That's all we wrote._

_The Notebook: That's all we wrote._

A/N: This is the last chapter… I feel all nostalgic and junk. It's been two and a half years since this started, and as much as it needed to end, I don't want it to. I feel like it should never /really/ be done, but at the same time, this is Katie's and my senior year and it seems really fitting for it to end now… I'm going to stop before this turns into a bad Oscars' speech and I start crying and such. Thanks to all of the readers, reviewers, favoriters and subscribers, especially the ones who've been with us since the beginning. You are all fantastic. Keep looking for Off the Spirals because they'll be coming for forever. I'm sure of it. -Scarlet

Also, I'm posting because Katie has stage crew for the Spring Musical and is killing herself daily. So this isn't beta-ed either. We wrote it relatively recently, so there shouldn't be that many mistakes anyways (Katie's grammar has always been spectacular, but mine is shoddy at times…). She'll get around to posting a beta-ed version with her author's note and such at some point.

Disclaimer: We still don't own it. Imagine that.

Warnings: None

Tezuka was up at six-thirty the next morning, gathering assorted belongings from all over the cabin and tossing them into the rooms of their respective owners, careful not to wake anyone.

As he went quietly up the stairs with another armful of belongings he noticed light coming from under the bathroom door. He dispersed his armful of things, and after figuring out Kaidoh was the only one out of bed, waited outside the bathroom for him.

Kaidoh sighed heavily as he exited the bathroom. He hated being mad at Inui. A pair of socked feet came into his vision. He mentally grimaced. _Socks_. He looked up to discover the owner. "Tezuka-buchou."

"I apologize for Fuji's...stunt last night."

Kaidoh shook his head. "Inui-sempai should have known better."

"Yes..."

"Buchou...Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How do you do it?"

"Pardon?"

"How do you deal with Fuji-sempai when he gets like that?"

"I..." Tezuka paused. "Fuji is... well, Fuji is Fuji, and while sometimes he needs... a firm hand to keep anyone from getting hurt, I love him and who he is, and trying to change him would be wrong, no matter how frustrating he can be. It's something people like you and me have to accept when we fall for people like Inui and Fuji."

Kaidoh nodded. "Thank you, Buchou. That helped a lot."

"You're welcome, Kaidoh. Make sure you don't forget anything."

"I already have everything packed, Buchou."

"Right." Tezuka nodded to him and started toward his bedroom, wondering why he didn't spend more time with Kaidoh.

Kaidoh went back into his bedroom, finding the hall to be creepy, and slipped back into the bed he shared with Inui. When his eyes adjusted to the dark he saw Inui had woken up and was looking at him while trying to look like he was asleep.

"Inui-sempai...I forgive you this time, but don't do it again." He moved over and fitted himself against Inui's sleep-warm body.

Inui wrapped an arm around Kaidoh's waist. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. What I did was cruel."

"Yeah," Kaidoh agreed, "but... I knew you before I started dating you. I knew what I was getting into. And I love you for it, so occasionally it's okay to be yourself. Just keep the cruelty for the sake of data to a minimum, all right?"

"Of course, Kaoru."

"Morning, Mitsu," Fuji greeted as Tezuka came in, sitting up and stretching. He smiled. "You look rather pleased."

Tezuka sat on the edge of the bed, kissing the tensai's forehead. "I've just realized why I put up with you."

"Because I add excitement to your life, and I'm good in bed?"

"No," Tezuka said, giving his boyfriend a stern look. "And because you said that I'm not going to tell you."

"Mitsu! How mean!"

Tezuka snorted.

"Please?"

"No." He kissed the tensai chastely. "You need to get packed."

"And..." Kaidoh sighed softly, "I'm sorry for being manipulative last night..."

"What?"

"Before you went and grabbed the phone..."

"Ah, that." Inui smiled. "Actually, I was quite impressed, Kaoru. I've taught you well."

 _More like Fuji-sempai has,_ Kaidoh thought but kept his mouth shut, cuddling against Inui's chest.

"But I don't want to get packed. I want you to tell me why you put up with me."

"Then I guess your things will stay here."

"But _Mitsu!"_

"I can't believe we're leaving in a few hours..." Kaidoh mumbled.

"Why?"

Kaidoh shrugged. "It's been nice..."

"What has?"

"Not having to hide from Tanaka-sensei..."

"Oh..." Inui rolled his eyes. He missed having Ryuuzaki-sensei as a coach. Tanaka-sensei was okay as far as coaches went, but he highly disapproved of their "immoral lifestyle choices," as he'd put it once.

Ryoma opened his eyes to see Momo staring down at him. He blinked. "What are you doing?"

"I _was_ watching you sleep."

"...Oh. Why?"

"I dunno. You're cuter when you're asleep."

Ryoma frowned. "You're creepy."

"Am not."

Ryoma hm-ed and asked, "When do we actually _have_ to be up?"

Momo looked at the clock. "Well, Ryuzaki-sensei said we were leaving the house at ten thirty ish, so we should get up in probably half an hour or so..."

Ryoma glanced over his shoulder. "Seven thirty? Really?"

"Yup."

"And we don't get to sleep together that often..."

Inui started to say something when Kaidoh cut him off.

"Sleep, not sex."

"Me and Oishi neither, nya!"

"How long have you been up, Kikumaru?"

"Long enough." Eiji grinned.

"Why don't you get to stay together often? Don't both of your parent's know?" Inui asked.

"Yeah, but we both have siblings, and they like to tease, so we don't stay together that often." Eiji was now sitting up and shrugged.

"Hazue too..." Kaidoh grumbled.

"Ah, but I have no siblings, and my parents are away most of the time, so Kaoru and I don't have this particular problem," Inui said. "And I've had a talk with Hazue-kun about keeping well away from Kaoru's room when I stay over."

"You _what?"_

"It was for the preservation of your brother's innocence, Kaoru."

Kaidoh groaned, "I can't believe you!" He could feel his face burning.

"At least he won't end up like Yuuta-kun, "Oishi commented.

"Yeah! Yuuta's scared for life, remember?" Eiji laughed silently.

"I would never act like Fuji-sempai acts around Yuuta-kun around Hazue..." Kaidoh, who was now laying with his face in his pillow, shook his head.

"Of course not, Kaoru." Inui petted his hair.

"What else have you talked to my family about without telling me?" Kaidoh turned his head to look at his sempai.

"Well..." Inui tried to bite back a smile, "Your dad is a very intimidating man."

Kaidoh sat up. "You didn't!"

Inui cupped his chin. "Of course not, but your mother did threaten me with a wooden spoon."

Kaidoh groaned.

Fuji tackled Tezuka to the bed and straddled him. "Mitsu, tell me."

"What do I get out of it?"

"We are not playing this game again!"

"This game does wonders for my sanity though." Tezuka pushed Fuji back by his shoulders. Tezuka situated the tensai in his lap and kissed his forehead. "Quit pouting."

"No." Fuji stuck his lower lip out farther.

Tezuka ducked his head and kissed the tensai sweetly, bringing the lower lip between his teeth for a moment before letting go. Fuji swept his tongue over his lip tenderly. "You bit me."

Tezuka snorted and kissed him again. "I put up with you."

"But why?"

"Because I have to," Tezuka said simply.

Fuji blinked and frowned. "Ne, Mitsu, how mean!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Ne, Kaidoh, it's okay!" Eiji said, patting Kaidoh's shoulder. "When my older brothers found out about me and Oishi, they tied him to a chair and made him promise not to hurt me or they'd kill him and make sure no one ever found his body."

"That-that's not really reassuring, Kikumaru-sempai..."

"Nya, I just mean that all families are protective, so it's no big deal."

"Hazue said something quite similar, though it was very hard to take his threat seriously in his bunny costume."

"Bunny costume?"

"The year your mother volunteered him to be the Easter bunny at your cousin's party, remember?"

"Oh..." Kaidoh snorted.

"Does your sister know, Oishi?"

"I think so...She's friends with Taka-san and Momo's sisters, so probably, but I haven't ever said it to her."

"And me and Oishi don't act all cuddly and kissy and stuff around her."

"Oishi and I, Kikumaru."

"Takeshi?"

Momo paused, about to kiss the back of Ryoma's neck. He blinked. "Y-yeah?"

"Don't act so shocked," Ryoma mumbled. "We forgot to take off the sheets last night."

"We forgot..." he stopped. "GROSS!"

Taka-san made a noise and sat up, rubbing his eyes as Momo hoisted Ryoma off their bed and ripped the sheets off. "What's... going on?"

Ryoma yelped as Momo threw him over his shoulder. "Momo-sempai! What are you doing?"

"We are unclean, Echizen!" Momo insisted, heading toward the door.

Taka watched for a minute, shrugged, and got out of bed. "I guess if Momo and Echizen are up, I should be too..."

"Nya, of course you and Oishi don't act cuddly and kissy... what are you talking about, Inui?"

Inui sighed. "Never mind."

"What is going on out there?" Oishi heard a door slam open and then Momo talking to/at Echizen rather loudly.

"Who cares?" Kaidoh muttered, pulling the blankets over himself again.

"Put me down, Momo-sempai!" Ryoma demanded.

"Nya, maybe we should check." Eiji got out of bed and opened the door. "What are you doing to Ochibi, Momo?"

"We are _contaminated_!" Momo yowled, slamming the bathroom door shut behind him, Ryoma looking quite pissed off from his place slung over Momo's shoulder.

Eiji shut the door. "They are...contaminated?" He shrugged and went back to his bed.

"I put up with you, Syusuke, because I _need_ you in my life. Even with your antics and the fact that I lose a little more of my sanity every day, I don't mind because I love you for exactly who you are."

"Mou, but you always complain," Fuji said.

"There's only so much a man can take," Tezuka replied, smiling. "That doesn't mean I want you to stop entirely. I do want you to be happy, Syusuke, contrary to what it might sometimes seem. And if that means causing mischief, it can't be helped."

"I could be happy without my antics…" Fuji put his head on Tezuka's shoulder.

"Then why do you do them?"

"I don't know… I guess I'd just rather do something wrong that I know is wrong and know why you're mad at me…" Fuji turned his face in to the t-shirt-clad shoulder, hiding.

Tezuka sighed. "I'd never be mad at you if you hadn't given me a reason, Syusuke," he said, kissing the top of Fuji's head. "I'm not an unreasonable person."

"I know…" Fuji curled against Tezuka's chest.

Someone knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal Ryuzaki-sensei. "Boys, we need to start getting everything together to leave."

They nodded.

She eyed them for a moment. "Is everything…all right?"

"Of course, sensei." They chorused. She looked doubtful, but left.

"I'm sorry I'm so annoying, Mitsu…" Fuji moved to get off Tezuka's lap.

Tezuka wrapped his arms around Fuji's waist, pulling him back. "You are not annoying."

"But I always cause you so much trouble..."

"You don't-Syusuke, listen. Do you really think I'd be with you if I didn't want to be?"

Fuji shrugged. "I suppose not..."

"I wouldn't."

Fuji frowned at the taller boy holding him captive .

"It does help that the sex is amazing though." Tezuka smiled against Fuji's neck.

Fuji gasped. "Tezuka Kunimitsu!" He grabbed a pillow and hit his seme with it. "You let me go!"

Tezuka laughed and held on to Fuji tighter. "Nope." He laid back on the bed.

Fuji set the pillow aside and laid on top of the captain. "I'll try to cut back on my 'antics' if you don't act so serious all the time. Deal?"

Tezuka sighed. "I suppose."

"Nya..." Eiji said forlornly, tossing clothes haphazardly into his suitcase. "I don't want to leave, Oishi... It's been so much fun..."

"It has," Oishi agreed, "but it's also been very... dramatic. It'll be nice when we're at home and things calm down."

"Yeah, but... what," Kaidoh said, "about getting to be together so much, I don't want to give it up."

Eiji sighed and leaned against the bed. "And we can't move in together until we graduate, and that's not for _forever..."_

"It's not that long, Eiji. Just a year. And besides, we'll get to stay the night together all the time."

"It's just…" Eiji threw a rather unfortunate pair of jeans into his suitcase harder than necessary. He sighed.

"It's not the same…" Kaidoh filled in, wrapping the cord of his headphones around his mp3 player.

Inui paused in looking through his stack of notebooks, making sure they were all there, to put a hand on Kaidoh's shoulder. "It'll be time for your graduation before you know it, Kaoru."

"That's right, nya! Inui and Kaidoh have two years! I always forget until we're actually not all in the same grade…"

"I'm clean now!" Ryoma swatted Momo's hand away from him.

"I wasn't going to wash you that time…" Momo gave the freshman a lecherous grin.

"Pervert."

"You know you love it."

"Are you done washing Kaidoh-sempai's germs off of you?"

"Yep, now I just have to replace them with Ryoma-germs."

Ryoma glared at him. "I'm still sore from yesterday."

"Oh, come on. It's not like I was rough with you or anything."

"Don't care. I don't wanna."

"Aw, Ryoma, _please?_ I promise to be extra gentle..."

"So? That won't make me any less sore."

"Please?"

"No, Momo-sempai!" Ryoma gave him an angry pout.

Momo tried to resist the Eiji-like impulse to glomp Ryoma, and frowned back instead. "Please?"

Ryoma sighed and took the soap from Momo. He muttered, "Why am I doing this?" and reached behind himself to prod his entrance with his now soap-slick fingers.

Momo watched, grinning slowly. "God, you don't know how hot that is."

"Would you shut up and get on with it?"

"Wish, command," Momo murmured, pulling Ryoma against him and sliding slowly inside.

Ryoma bit his lip, and moments later Momo snickered.

"What?" Ryoma snapped.

"I don't think I've ever seen you turn that red." Momo grinned, giving a short thrust of his hips.

Ryoma could feel the blush darken to what had to be a shade near that of Kikumaru-sempai's hair. "Don't make me leave," he growled.

"You wouldn't."

"I would." Ryoma dared.

Momo kissed the freshman's forehead and began thrusting. Ryoma gasped and braced himself against the wall. "I bet you wouldn't now."

"Shut up," Ryoma managed. "You slow down when you talk."

"When did Momo and Ochibi become the most sexually active couple on the team?" Eiji whined, pressing his ear to the bathroom door.

"Eiji! Don't listen in!"

"Nya, but it's interesting, they're yelling at each other, but it's like they get off on it or something..."

"There is an eighty four percent chance that they do, Kikumaru." Inui commented as he was dragged down the hall by a furiously blushing Kaidoh.

"Kaidoh-kun doesn't want to listen?" Eiji sing-songed teasingly.

"Leave him alone, Eiji." Oishi put a hand on his shoulder. Eiji pouted until Oishi leaned down to whisper, "Besides, I never got to show you how much you've corrupted me last night," in his ear.

"Don't start," Ryuzaki said, coming up the stairs. "The other four may be in the middle of their... whatever, I don't want to think about it, but they've already started, and we don't have time for the rest of you to... ugh, anyway, go pack, and keep it clean, no... strip teases or... God, I need a drink..."

Eiji snickered as she went back down. "Nya, I guess you'll just have to wait until we get home, Oishi," he said, kissing his partner's nose.

Oishi sighed. "Okay. Let's go look for your things, they've no doubt ended up all over the house..."

"Hey! Meanie!"

"Actually," Tezuka came out of his room, "I went around and gather everyone's things from around the cabin. They're all in your room. Unless I missed something."

"Thanks, Buchou!" Eiji glomped Tezuka for the few seconds he would be allowed without getting in trouble before backtracking to Oishi and quickly dragging the vice captain into their bedroom. Oishi gave Tezuka a small smile of thanks as he shut their door.

"Why do you do that?" Ryuzaki-sensei sighed from the bottom of the stairs.

"Because, secretly, Mitsu is a sap and likes to make all of us as happy as he can." Fuji popped up behind Tezuka with his fully packed suitcases.

"That was...fast..." Tezuka quirked an eyebrow.

Fuji just smiled.

 _Witchcraft,_ Tezuka thought. _It has to be._

Once everyone was packed and Taka-san had made breakfast, Ryuzaki-sensei and Inui started dividing passengers.

"Kaidoh will ride with me, of course," Inui said. "Along with-"

"Inui-sempai," Momo said quietly, "I think it'd be best if Echizen and I rode with Ryuzaki-sensei..."

"Obviously, Momoshiro," Inui said, marking this down. _Interesting,_ he thought. _Perhaps Oishi was right. Usually Momoshiro would cause a fight between him and Kaidoh by loudly declaring that he wouldn't be within ten feet of him, but now he seems to be wanting to avoid discomfort more than anything else..._

"Oishi, Kikumaru, and Kawamura in your car, Inui?" Ryuzaki suggested. "And I'll take the sex addicts."

"I am _not!"_ Ryoma protested.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much." Fuji ruffled Ryoma's hair affectionately.

Ryoma swatted the hands away and moved to stand near the captains, who were looking at the maps.

Fuji leaned against the table. "We really have to leave don't we…"

There were nods and sighs all around.

"I suppose we should get our thinks into the cars then…" Oishi folded the maps.

After a murmur of protest, the nine teenagers trudged upstairs in a line to get their things, Ryuzaki-sensei heading downstairs. Soon all luggage was piled into the two cars.

"Before we leave," Fuji said, "everyone, get in front of the cabin, I want a picture."

"You should be in it too though, Fuji-sempai," Momo half-heartedly protested.

After another ten minutes of fiddling with his tripod and getting the timing right Fuji walked over and stood between Eiji and Tezuka.

"Say 'Fujiko!'" Eiji wrapped an arm around the tensai's shoulders as the camera went off and everyone chorused the tensai's nickname.

Fuji shrugged off the redhead's arm and smiled in his patiently amused manner.

"Just let me get this stuff put away…" Fuji shut off his camera and packed it back into his bag.

Before they knew it they were pulling away from the cabin and down the creepy driveway that Eiji now looked upon with affection and through the gate, Ryuzaki getting out quickly to shut it behind them.

As Ryuzaki pulled away from the drive Ryoma took a glance back at the gate. "You know, we never did find tennis courts up here."


End file.
